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 AUTHOR
 FitnessFan360
Joined: 6/7/2013
Msg: 45
Creeped outPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Two things. The first is that I am a busy guy. Secondly, I have no desire to build false expecations around her online persona. Real life interaction is all that matters period. So I keep it simple and direct and this system has worked well for me.

1) Three emails. If the vibe is good, I don't ask for her number. I give her mine, say it has been great getting to know her so far, and that she can text me if she wants to meet up and I will call to finalize. This puts less pressure on her, and makes her demonstrate interest. If a woman texts me, then she is far more likely to pick up or return a voice mail because it was her choice to give me her number. Then I keep the call brief (10-15 mins tops) and if it goes well I set the date up for 3-5 days out and get off the phone.

2) Once plans are set I barely talk to her at all. No good morning texts, no chatting on the phone for hours, or texting sessions. All I will do is give it a day or two, then send a short flirty text. Something like "Staying out of trouble? You sure caused some the other day when you said" (insert something playful or sexy she said). Then I exchange a handful of texts to create tension and comfort for the date. Then I end it by saying "I gotta run, but I will see you (insert day/time). This makes her confirm.
 Abby156
Joined: 4/1/2010
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Creeped out
Posted: 7/1/2013 10:44:19 AM
I was creeped out recently, I also join another dating site years ago that I seldom visit. I checked in a few weeks ago to find about 25 messages from someone I have never chatted with. Seems we "MET" on match.com. The problem is I have never had an account there, He went on to profess his love for me and wanted to rekindle our relationship.
I told the man I had no idea who he was and he replied he knew me my the same photos I use here because they were used on match.
I have no idea if he was chatting with a woman or a man using my pics.
 JeremyD4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Creeped out
Posted: 7/1/2013 3:33:14 PM
So basically, he's playing games and you haven't even met?
 Carpediem0367
Joined: 6/24/2013
Msg: 48
Creeped out
Posted: 7/1/2013 5:13:47 PM
I agree. Generally when your messages are frequent at first but start decreasing it indicates a lack of enthusiasm. It could be from either the man or woman, it doesn't matter. Women can initiate some emails even if she likes the guy to take the lead. And I also think it's a good idea to keep the most of the interactions for real life, you need to stay engaged with each other beforehand. otherwise one of you could lose interest fast. It's also a nice idea to keep the tone friendly so there isn't any awkwardness when you meet. The way he responded was immature, but not creepy. He seemed to feel the way I'd expect someone to in that situation.
 SunDevil29072
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 49
Creeped out
Posted: 7/2/2013 7:18:35 PM

I don't think this is creepy at all.
I think maybe he wanted an out and used the lack of text as
a lame excuse.


Yeah, I'm "feeling" it that way as well.

OP, I'm sorry ... I don't know too many guys that would dump a woman for not texting them in the morning ... unless they were borderline/having second thoughts on wanting to go through with the date. It is a convenient excuse.

My award for creepy story goes to Sarilea ... and, interestly so, I had a similar call where some guy called my work phone screaming that I better stop harassing him around his family about collecting on a loan and kept begging me to give him more time. (He was meaning to call a guy who used to have the same number at my workplace prior to my arrival ... but a freaky call still ...)
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 50
Creeped out
Posted: 7/4/2013 8:53:24 AM
he "purposely" didn't send me a good morning text to see if I was excited enough about him to reach out-and that a big gap of silence meant I was uncommunicative and was a big red flag.

How is that a red flag? There is something very wrong with this guy!
He sounds VERY insecure & a big game player! Not all of us can text at work! At my job, we can written up for it, & I don't have reception in my area anyways, so I hardly use the phone.
We're at work to work, too bad he couldn't be the center of attention while you're at your job. He's an idiot.
 WittyMinute
Joined: 7/5/2013
Msg: 51
Creeped out
Posted: 7/21/2013 9:21:00 AM
I agree that texting is the worst form of communication. You can say anything you want and over text or limit what you say or even exaggerate; creating the basis for a relationship that is entirely electronically based.

Hard to really know, at least for me, without hearing the tone of their voice, determining interest level by even the length of the phone call. When a guy just stops texting as a way to say "not interested...moving on..." it is just plain childish. This has happened twice.

Intellectually, I know that this is what is being communicated when a guy stops texting. But it still annoys that they can't just text something that implies that their attraction has waned and maybe even the reason why. Then you can delete the number knowing this.

Mind you, the texting thing befuddles me altogether...I haven't been single or dated practically forever. Cordless phones still had an antennae in fact...=)

Maybe I'm being childish by being so irritated by a form of communication that is still new to me -- and I should just accept that this is a common way of "moving on" now.

LOL, texting still has a red line underneath. It's not even an acceptable word..!
 WittyMinute
Joined: 7/5/2013
Msg: 52
Creeped out
Posted: 7/21/2013 9:22:31 AM
It's me again -- one more thing: Yes, I have met these potential daters in person, and no, I haven't had any intimate contact yet.
 TOaks91360
Joined: 11/22/2013
Msg: 53
Creeped out
Posted: 12/21/2013 9:12:49 PM
One of the pitfalls of scheduling a date up to a week ahead of time.

Sometimes guys want to know if a woman is interested in us and unfortunately, we judge that by the 'pace' of our communication.

If we're texting hot and heavy and that stops 4 days before the 'meet'...well, we might not take that kindly.
 usmale6
Joined: 9/14/2013
Msg: 54
Creeped out
Posted: 12/22/2013 7:44:47 AM

LiliMarleen said,

He sounds like a crazy control freak.


- Exactly. What the OP was doing, limiting texting before the date, is exactly what you are supposed to do. Communication over the phone lines is TMI. Why risk running out of things to say on a date? Don't spoil your dinner. Not only is this turkey a control freak, he does not understand women.

Relationships are built on dates in the beginning, not over the phone lines, by mail, or Pony Express!
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 55
Creeped out
Posted: 12/22/2013 1:59:23 PM

What the OP was doing, limiting texting before the date, is exactly what you are supposed to do.

I disagree. Texting, in it's natural form, IS limited and non-intrusive. If one doesn't like a lot of communication/bonding before meeting, then being willing to text should be the preferrable method. Email definitely a method of talking about too much before meeting (because one can write so much so readily).

Her mention of being busy at work, and also defensive right off the bat by saying that he likes women more on the submissive side shows that she was texting, but Without Warning, it basically Dropped on her part. THAT is the key.

You can't expect someone to read your mind -- you let them know, if your texts are going to drop and you're not in the mood anymore to text much. Otherwise, the other person will rightfully assume you lost interest if your communication takes a nose dive without explanation. Statistically -- their interest went downward as well. He may have been hasty to just cut things off, and it may have been because he wanted to text too much for one's comfort. But regardless, ya just don't drop the level of communication without warning -- it's going to send the same signal to everyone.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 10/8/2013
Msg: 56
Creeped out
Posted: 12/22/2013 2:37:36 PM
My creepy story happened this summer. I was going for a walk in my town on a sunny Friday afternoon when suddenly a UPS truck came to a screeching halt and the driver jumped out and ran towards me. I thought something had happened, so I stopped to see what was going on, but the guy still ran towards me, beaming and all excited. He then told me that he had repeatedly contacted me on another online dating site and I had never responded (because he was not my type, duh!). So now he was introducing himself and expected me to recognize him. I just stood there pretty flabbergasted and didn't know quite what to say. I just thought how creepy that he would recognize me right away from an online dating profile. Sure enough the same night he sent me another message about our "meeting" earlier that day. I was so creeped out, I pulled my profile from that site.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 57
Creeped out
Posted: 12/22/2013 2:57:45 PM
Moon breeze- Who knows, maybe he's immature, controlling, psycho, or all of the above.
At least you found out early on.
You didn't say if you responded back to him, but I hope you didn't, it's just not worth it.
Shake it off and move forward.
 smithwhitehawk1
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 58
view profile
History
Creeped out
Posted: 12/22/2013 4:19:40 PM
TrustinKarma
You could have reported him to U P S, they have a pretty tough code of conduct rules. Due to the access they get to peoples homes and business. I have to ask, was he calling out your name or some type of greeting or just running up on you? That sounds crazy, I know people, women included that would have had him on the ground at gunpoint before he got as close as ten feet.
I'm glad you were O K .
Hawk
 DreamBaby6794
Joined: 12/21/2013
Msg: 59
Creeped out
Posted: 12/28/2013 1:03:54 PM
Dude, seriously sounds like you dodged a bullet. Personally, I can't stand constant communication (I seriously believe text messaging is ruining dating - I don't need a "good morning," "good afternoon," and "good night" every freakin' day. What I need is some mystery and time to actually wonder what the other person is doing, rather than always knowing what they're doing). Sounds like this guy would have been suffocating and controlling - two personality traits that I find very undesirable.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 60
Creeped out
Posted: 12/29/2013 11:15:54 AM
this was just 1 side of the story and know of it seemed creepy. Creepy is more like a "thinking of you" text at 3am
Some guys lose patients when dealing with online dating and obviously this guys wasn't getting the attention he wanted so he went with his back up plan.
Pointless Post. Shorter version is OP met a guy but they were not a match because different expectations. the end
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