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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > 1st date and she wants "IT" and your not feeling her...do you do her      Home login  
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 you_needme
Joined: 6/30/2013
Msg: 23
1st date and she wants IT and your not feeling her...do you do her anyway?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

1st date and she wants "IT" and your not feeling her...do you do her anyway?

No.
Because in all likelihood she may very well feel entitled to being clingy, feeling hurt, acting like a victim, and seek retribution or create drama in my life.


Do you go for it because your attracted physically and the last few dates didn't involve anything physical..you have not "sex buddy" to call and havn't had sex in over a month

No. My genitals don't run the show.


In other words you didn't ask her for sex but she is asking to go home with you an hour after meeting her...

I've dated several women who sucked at communication.
Talkative online, they show up on dates, sit there as meek as a mouse, answer yes or no and nothing more, and then when the date wraps up and I walk them to their car they all of a sudden turn into touchy feely flirty let's violate his personal space women that soooooo want to see me again. They don't really want to have sex, they simply don't want the date to be a failure, they simply don't want to be rejected, they just want to be liked.
They are simply acting in a way they think they know how you will respond to in order to get a positive value judgment from you.

If you aren't feeling her, it's coming across indirectly. Some people simply react to that in their own indirect way in order to either get you to change your mind and send out more positive signals/feedback, or to try and get back a sense of "power" or "control" where they have the potential option of rejecting you rather than accepting your obvious "not feeling her" rejection of them.

I don't like being manipulated anymore than women that complain about players do.
Why would I respond in a way that promotes the behavior?
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 24
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1st date and she wants IT and your not feeling her...do you do her anyway?
Posted: 6/7/2018 4:36:50 AM
#1 have never went on a first date expecting that nor have I ever had a woman expect it on the first date but in saying that if it ever happened I would probably Not go for it until I knew her which would probably never happen...lol
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 25
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1st date and she wants IT and your not feeling her...do you do her anyway?
Posted: 6/7/2018 2:16:37 PM
No. It's cruel and missleading.
Someone did me on the first date and I took it to mean he liked me and he went really cold and ghosted me. Except it was worse because he waited till a few days later when I was going overseas then blocked me. I had no idea and was thinking about the jackass the whole time only to get back and discover that he blocked me on the day I left, weeks ago.
Don't be a jerk.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 26
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1st date and she wants IT and your not feeling her...do you do her anyway?
Posted: 6/9/2018 3:40:28 PM
I know this thread is 5 years old. But having sex in this situation isn't necessarily a bad thing. Maybe the woman was just looking for sex and nothing serious as well.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 27
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1st date and she wants IT and your not feeling her...do you do her anyway?
Posted: 6/10/2018 5:39:51 AM

1st date and she wants IT and your not feeling her...do you do her anyway?


It would seem to be the gentlemanly thing to do~

;-)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 28
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1st date and she wants IT and your not feeling her...do you do her anyway?
Posted: 6/11/2018 11:00:54 AM

1st date and she wants "IT" and your not feeling her...do you do her anyway?

If you're physically attracted, by default, sure.

Do you do it anyway? Even if its misleading to her?

How is it misleading her if she asks You to go to her place after an hour of meeting? I think that happening is a clear sign that she's not a typical gal, hence, you shouldn't apply stereotypes to the situation -- like having sex with a gal early "misleads her" into thinking you're wanting to be BF/GF.

Don't mislead. If you're going to do it, make sure she understands that there should be no preconceived expectations.

I agree not to mislead, but I think it's OP's fear he would mislead, just by having sex on a 1st date -- even if it's her asking Him to go back to her place, only an hour after a 1st date. If anything, you'd assume this isn't her first rodeo and that becoming some item wasn't on her immediate docket.

That said, IF she was also expressing wants & needs & visions of being together as an item -- I think he could still agree to go back, but once there getting settled in and kissing, that he let her know that although he finds her attractive, hooking up doesn't at all expediate a process of being an item nor gives it more weight to become an item. A friendly reminder. But again, only if she's wack like that, expressing assumptions that they're going to be an item (which would probably turn me off too much if I already wasn't That into her).

Someone did me on the first date and I took it to mean he liked me and he went really cold and ghosted me.

If you're referring to that one date with the guy who wasn't that into you via chat for so long, that's not a good example. He ended up telling you On the date that he wasn't wanting to jump into anything, but he wanted to throw out the notion of hooking up that night. I think you misled yourself thinking that if you followed thru on it, he would follow-thru by seeing you -- which is emotions being manipulative, actually. Plus, it's not like out of the blue You said "Hey, let's go back to my place, wink-wink, nudge-nudge," an hour into the 1st date. He wouldn't be misleading you by saying Yes, yet not wanting to ride off into the relationship sunset with you. Nor did he in that situation when he brought up the idea, with his disclaimer.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 29
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1st date and she wants IT and your not feeling her...do you do her anyway?
Posted: 6/13/2018 11:52:19 AM
Dude he met me at my house and stayed over for like 6 hours. My BAD assuming he actually liked me.
He never told me he wasn't looking for anything serious.
After he got the sex THEN he said it is NSA after I asked.

Either way I have someone better now lol
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