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 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 23
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Marrying during the Retirement YearsPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I ve was married once, a long time ago. It did'nt work out and luckily me and my ex. parted on good terms. We came to a mutual agreement on assets/payments etc. and all was well.

I did'nt lose a lot during this experience. I did gain some knowledge of what I COULD have lost just because we were married. All I can say is I'd have to think long and hard before I'd ever sign another contract with a woman regarding my feelings. If I did I'd have some upfront understanding or written agreement over who gets what if our feelings should change.

Never say never regarding marriage is what I think. I just have a hard time signing a contract guaranteeing my or anothers feelings.
 Midwest_Southwest
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 24
Marrying during the Retirement Years
Posted: 7/5/2013 10:09:43 AM

How important is it to people who marry after age 45+ that their prospective spouse be able to financially support himself or herself during retirement? Is that one factor that single people closing-in on the retirement years consider when deciding if s/he's a person to marry? (Have retirement pension, savings and/or other tangible assets). Thank you for sharing.


Its pretty important to me but what’s more important is that he’s comfortable and candid talking about money and finding legal and financial solutions that are best for both of us. I do a lot of prenups, trusts and cohabitation agreements for second and third marriages and relationships. Its amazing to me how many people assume prenups are always and only about protecting their pot of gold as it is today. Then when you start to balance rights, they realize that the other person has assets too and that they’re also giving up rights. The process of disclosure and negotiation is a very good process to undergo before you make a commitment to someone. You can really learn a lot about someone’s personality by how they view and discuss money.


Marriage in the late years is foolish. A lot of women want to marry for security at that age yet have nothing to offer but companionship.


There are men like that too. And there are people of both sexes who do value companionship and don’t view their partners’ assets only in dollars. If I found a loving partner who was a wonderful companion and made my life better and “richer,” I would think I had hit the jackpot no matter how much money he had. We’d just work together to protect us both and make the household work.
 or_current_resident
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 25
Marrying during the Retirement Years
Posted: 7/5/2013 4:48:54 PM

Its pretty important to me but what’s more important is that he’s comfortable and candid talking about money and finding legal and financial solutions that are best for both of us.




Great point black hawk # 1!
As imo, when your both in love & mature, you both would think in us terms and there is" is no what ifs later on." And a definite a leap in faith for most nonetheless.



I do a lot of prenups, trusts and cohabitation agreements for second and third marriages and relationships. Its amazing to me how many people assume prenups are always and only about protecting their pot of gold as it is today. Then when you start to balance rights, they realize that the other person has assets too and that they’re also giving up rights. The process of disclosure and negotiation is a very good process to undergo before you make a commitment to someone.



Great point # 2 !


You can really learn a lot about someone’s personality by how they view and discuss money.


And great point # 3 !




And there are people of both sexes who do value companionship and don’t view their partners’ assets only in dollars. If I found a loving partner who was a wonderful companion and made my life better and “richer,” I would think I had hit the jackpot no matter how much money he had. We’d just work together to protect us both and make the household work.




Yes yes & yes.....you know your legal stuff & what truly binds those together beyond the assets & whats only in it for me. And if me is the only one, then love is fleeting before it ever begins imo.

And,when both parties realize that their partnership,companionship is greater than gold, richer in life because of what both have in each other core values, because of their bond,then yes they are much richer then those who only have "face value" in what binds them together.

I know it's just a piece of paper, but between me & the love of my life it's something much much more.

And maybe be more so now being older........
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 26
Marrying during the Retirement Years
Posted: 7/5/2013 5:06:27 PM

If famous people that have unlimited options would rather be married, then how can it be so bad?


Don't forget "famous" people can afford good lawyers. Which includes very well written "agreements" between the two parties involved. The "not so" famous 1/2 may get something if the marriage dissolves but, most of the time it ain't automatically "half" of the other party's assets.
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 27
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Marrying during the Retirement Years
Posted: 7/8/2013 9:44:41 AM
Then again, considering that marriage is a contractural arrangement there could be other reasons to marry after 45. Maybe to share assets or medical coverage? Maybe to bilk someone of half of their worldly possesions? [I've heard there are people who do this type of thing]. Or, maybe simply to legally declare your undying love for one another? Nothing says "I love you" like a legally binding contract.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 29
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Marrying during the Retirement Years
Posted: 7/16/2013 7:56:06 PM
I see no reason to marry to begin with. The worst choice I made when I divorced was to NOT take half of his retirement from a financial point of view (he was a doctor). I would never want a man I was seeing to look at me as a gold digger or as my savior. My plan is to work until I am no longer physically able to. Because of my circumstances, I am very open minded about his circumstances.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 30
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Marrying during the Retirement Years
Posted: 8/11/2013 8:49:40 AM
I'm not rich enough to support two. However, I do own a big house and would be happy to provide a free roof over my future husband's head in return for his doing practical tasks in return.

I would absolutely hate to be dependent on my husband or any man, though. I would feel I was living on my knees with no rights.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 31
Marrying during the Retirement Years
Posted: 8/11/2013 9:49:50 AM
If you want to get a Visa for someone to come and live in the USA, the USA Government requires you to be married, either before or 90 days after your spouse comes to the USA.

If you have a job in the USA/Foreign country, you can get a work permit and Visa to stay as long as you have the job. It's not easy to get a work permit, nearly impossible if you don't speak the language.

If you move to a foreign country, the laws are similar. You need to get a permanent resident Visa no matter if it is the USA or a foreign country, the requirement are either a lot of assets / income, or a much less assets / income if you are married. The amount of income assets vary by country, but the principal idea remains the same.

Your spouse can collect on social security benefits if you are married.

If you have a child regardless of where in the world, if you are married then the child is granted automatic USA citizenship. If you die then benefits are granted to your spouse for care for a minor child.

If both dating people live in the USA and are both independently wealthy, expect no children, there is no real reason to get married. Though unmarried and dating or living together break up much more frequently than married people do.

Though if you love and trust someone, then there is no reason NOT to get married either. Getting married just feels like a more permanent commitment. If you don't get married, you are really leaving your options open. Not a problem leaving your options open, but many can't admit that is the reason to not get married. It gets weird when people create convoluted reasons for staying single.

In the end we might think otherwise, but love and money dictates how many people feel about social issues like dating, marriage, children, divorce, etc.
 elednuw
Joined: 1/11/2011
Msg: 32
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Marrying during the Retirement Years
Posted: 8/25/2013 12:06:33 PM
I would definitely like to get married to the right woman.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 33
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Marrying during the Retirement Years
Posted: 8/31/2013 3:27:54 AM
Other than to have children, I think over 50 is a good time to be mature enough to know what you both want/expect in all ways and have companionship ( hopefully other perks * wink*) and legal rights regarding health decisions and other matters you would be required to be married to benefit from.

Also 2 incomes in this economy for most of us as we can live better and with less stress when it comes to finances.

Not saying you cant have separate interests of course but I think companionship and being able to have someone who loves you and for you to love is a great gift.


It wouldn't be like when you were 25, mainly ( LUST) but it can be better in many ways.

I'm open to it.
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 34
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Marrying during the Retirement Years
Posted: 8/31/2013 6:45:05 AM
It has taken me years but I've finally gotten to the point where I'm not totally against the idea of marriage. But there are practicalities to consider. I'm not rich but I have a paid for home, car, no debts, and working part time to supplement my OWN Social Security benefits and small pension. I really do worry about the medical issues and expenses I might incur later. In reality, one has to take into consideration the financial issues related to our age group. I would expect anyone I marry to have his own financial house in order. He wouldn't have to be rich but ideally together we could live a comfortable, decent lifestyle...maybe do some road trips to the see all 58 of the National Parks. It would be nice to have a life partner in order help each other with some of the issues we're going to encounter in our retirement years. We know what we want at this age and hopefully, with a little luck, maybe we can get it.
 completelyhappy
Joined: 10/3/2010
Msg: 35
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Marrying during the Retirement Years
Posted: 12/11/2013 1:16:31 PM
I keep my asset information to myself and would expect that a partner would also. ID theft is very big.

If you love someone in the moment, enjoy. You can always change gears later.

blessings.
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