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 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 45
Dustin Hoffman's interviewPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
^^^

I think I understand. Some people might equate it to dating. In his case he said he literally did the movie as a way to illuminate to people what they may have been missing in not seeing someone in front of their own eyes. i will confess that is something I have always done so it was not important to me because I learned from it; but because someone I respect who has a little more platform in an arena that is one of the worst offenders so beautifully expressed something that I personally think is incredibly important.

There is a show about finding incredibly valuable antiques in garage sales and flea markets; can't remember what it's called... but I will confess I have always striven to do that with people; finding the person who comes across as angry, hostile, closed, maybe a little disheveled, and see if I can discover the inner "treasure" in them in my interacting with them. One of the people I have come across that I most appreciate meeting was an escaped political prisoner from Uganda who was literally still running for his life; being hunted by Ugandan authorities, and yet he was in the states trying to help people HERE. He was covered in scars, strong thick accent, absolutely physically a mess, and yet he had a beautifully magical smile and an incredibly kind spirit, and was all about other people and their pain and joy; not acknowledging the fully 12 years of constant torture and isolation he had been subjected to. He was one of the most beautiful people I have ever met; even though in terms of physical perfection he was scared, dishevelled, skinny and someone most would literally run from in a dark alley as terrifying.

So I agree with you that it is more than dating; but also say it is more than civility; it is finding the inner treasure in the people we bump across every day; and keep ourselves open for something special. Because those exposures can lead to acquaintances, friendships, and possibly even more; ith people that we will never get the joy of discovering; if we don't bother to see them when they are in front of our face.
 ChocolateSugarRush
Joined: 7/9/2013
Msg: 46
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 7/29/2013 8:39:31 PM
Op my big sister told me about that interview. I for one have always been over looked because I have very strong African features and a chubby body. I never have been a person to not give a guy a chance. I've dated very heavy men before. I've messed with a guy that had his whole top grill missing. I can honesty say that I've turned down attractive men because of the way they talked or behaved themselves.
 fieryredhead77
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 47
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 8/1/2013 7:59:55 PM
I wonder what is worse: to be one of the 'unnoticed' or 'noticed for the wrong reasons' As an obese person, I find that I can't go a day on these forums without someone having to put in something about fat people. Whether they are undate-able, gross, or even if referring to themselves as to why they can't get date (I'm not fat!! So why can't I find a date?!)

Even on this post, a guys makes a comment about Jewish actors and several people chastise him for being racist. But people on these forums make fat comments constantly, and everyone just agrees.

Or, you know, how fat girls are just to be used for sex to gain experience, as they all put out, right? (I hear this on the radio pretty regularly too)

The people who believe that they aren't being let to think a certain way are fooling themselves as well. American's really detest fat people. (and many other types, I am just using this as an example that I have experience with) I can go to another country and being fat is just another character trait, like having blue eyes. It really depends on what the media and culture tells you to believe.
 house_full_of_bullets
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 48
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 8/4/2013 5:53:44 AM
^^^Maybe because folks on this continent don't eat as healthy as others. Many folks are discriminated against in the dating world every day - colour, nationality, religion/non-religion and the list goes on - it's not just weight. The nice thing about weight is that it is something one can change - some of the others - not so much.


Or, you know, how fat girls are just to be used for sex to gain experience, as they all put out, right? (I hear this on the radio pretty regularly too)

What idiotic radio stations are you listening to?


But people on these forums make fat comments constantly, and everyone just agrees.

No they don't. Plenty of threads out there where folks get called out over stuff like that.
 Jerilyn
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 49
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 8/8/2013 3:15:50 PM
How many of us get a taste of what it would be like to be the opposite sex.. be made to look like the real deal? If we could all have an experience like DH who was transformed into a very convincing looking female for this movie... we'd all be in for an "epiphany" I'm guessing. I can believe it hurt to find out that as a woman the way he looked was the best he could be... that he couldn't be beautiful... and that so much of who he was would have been overlooked, and dismissed if he really was that woman... a humbling and powerful experience, I'm sure.
 ChocolateSugarRush
Joined: 7/9/2013
Msg: 50
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 8/17/2013 4:12:00 AM
I agree with you. I wrote a paper about this in school. The media tends to point out heavy/fat people as monsters. The media gives us all these weight loss commercials and things like that.


you know, how fat girls are just to be used for sex to gain experience, as they all put out, right? (I hear this on the radio pretty regularly too)



I've heard this as well. Most men tend to think heavy women are desperate and naïve. This is what the media and all cultures tell us believe. Loose weight you'll look better. SMH
Another thing about the media is there are very few dark skinned black women. Just pay attention to what I'm saying then your television. The NEGRO'S social status is so low that you barely see any black women, especially if they are dark skinned.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 51
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 8/17/2013 7:24:17 AM

How many of us get a taste of what it would be like to be the opposite sex.. be made to look like the real deal? If we could all have an experience like DH who was transformed into a very convincing looking female for this movie... we'd all be in for an "epiphany" I'm guessing. I can believe it hurt to find out that as a woman the way he looked was the best he could be... that he couldn't be beautiful... and that so much of who he was would have been overlooked, and dismissed if he really was that woman... a humbling and powerful experience, I'm sure.


How is this any different than being a short man? It hurt my feelings when I was young to realize I would never be tall, and that alone would eliminate me from being considered.

It's well known that something like 95% of women won't date a man shorter than herself. And some large percentage require a man to at least 5.7, and many require taller than average. And if they would consider a shorter man, it's only if he were a movie star or CEO of a large company.

IMO DH is old to just now be having this epiphany, if true it shows how shallow he really had been.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 52
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 8/17/2013 7:30:50 AM

The people who believe that they aren't being let to think a certain way are fooling themselves as well. American's really detest fat people. (and many other types, I am just using this as an example that I have experience with) I can go to another country and being fat is just another character trait, like having blue eyes. It really depends on what the media and culture tells you to believe.


Which if true is really weird, because 1/3 of America is obese, so it's like saying we hate ourselves. IMO it's more the media that projects the hate image, people listen either because they are shocked or they want to feel superior to others because in their life they don't feel appreciated.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 8/17/2013 7:55:17 AM
I tend to be skeptical of most claims that this or that other country deal with something much better than the writer's home country does. This is because I am very aware of a phenomenon of observation and understanding that applies everywhere: people who are unfamiliar with how someone else expresses themselves, will tend to think that they are NOT expressing themselves, when actually they are all but shouting at you.

Lots of people, all over the world, detest lots of other people. What happens here, and perhaps in a few other places, is that a huge money-making industry has been built on telling people they don't measure up, so as to get them to buy services or products designed to "solve" their "problems." That can certainly make it APPEAR that more Americans dislike fat people than non-Americans do, but it doesn't mean that non-Americans actually LIKE overweight people.

I think there's an existing psychological term, probably in Greek, that describes a tendency to admire things foreign, and deride things familiar, primarily out of ignorance about the real truth of either.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 54
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History
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 8/17/2013 9:32:45 AM
What I think of this subject, is that people will always focus on whatever it is that they think is preventing them from getting who and what they want. Over the years I've seen countless women complain that the guy they want isn't interested in them, and then complain that he's 'shallow' because he does not find her physically attractive. This is just another type of those threads; focusing on what a woman thinks should be important and of course it isn't her appearance. I wonder how much agreement I would get if I were to suggest that women should stop considering a man's height, income or intelligence when selecting a man to date? After all, there are plenty of very nice short, uneducated, poor men out there that have the very same problem that physically less attractive women do, yet I never hear anyone championing their cause in the dating world. Let's just face it; no one can be attractive to everyone. If the object of your affections isn't interested in you, then look around and find someone who is, not insist that people should be attracted to you just because you think they should.
As far as Hoffman? I think he's full of s#!t. Most actors are. They know how to manipulate getting a feeling across to their viewers, and do it not only when the camera's on, but in their own personal lives as well, which is why so many of their relationships fall apart. After all, it's that very talent that makes them successful in their careers, and gets us to watch them in the first place. So it's no surprise that he'd be able to make so many people feel exactly what he wanted them to by what he was saying in the interview.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 55
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 8/17/2013 11:45:26 AM
What I have seen is that preferences such as for skin color, height and weight are really based on economics and perceptions of affluence.

Shorter men tend to make less money, affluent people all tend to be thinner, some skin colors make less money than others.

In the past heavy women were considered more attractive, because they could afford the food and leisure time to gain a little weight.

I have seen this in other countries where they have a preferences for a certain skin color, the skin color they try to avoid is associated with poor farmers.

The problem I have seen is people take what is statically true and try to apply it to everyone in general. If statically 60% of a group behaves a certain way, it's enough to be preconceived as a general characteristic of the group. But if you meet an individual of the group, it's slightly less than only 60/40 that they will behave as you expect. Not very good odds.
 ChocolateSugarRush
Joined: 7/9/2013
Msg: 56
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 8/19/2013 2:03:11 PM
I wonder how much agreement I would get if I were to suggest that women should stop considering a man's height, income or intelligence when selecting a man to date? After all, there are plenty of very nice short, uneducated, poor men out there that have the very same problem that physically less attractive women do, yet I never hear anyone championing their cause in the dating world.




Playtupus: I agree with you on this.


And sorry for the misspelling in my earlier post.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 57
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 8/20/2013 12:44:24 PM
IMO DH is old to just now be having this epiphany

he was describing an epiphany that happened approximately 30 years ago.


His opportunities were, are, and will continue to be enormous; well beyond the opportunities the rest of us possess.

so what. i'm pretty sure he carved out those opportunities for himself based on a combination of his career choice, lots of hard work, and obvious talent in an industry that demands talent even more than it demands looking awesome. what's your excuse? are you envious? nobody gets where Dustin Hoffman has been based solely on a couple of lucky breaks.


He at least has the "star power" to pull all types of people to him.

and those people are mostly sycophants, so his cachet is mostly with people who want a piece of him based on the perceived privilege that comes with getting close to someone famous. otherwise there would be no reason at all for the social exchange, because the same people who are sucking up wouldn't give him a second thought if he weren't so well known. i think having people leeching off you to constantly based on being recognizable is really over-rated.


He can lament his lost opportunities, but at least he had opportunities.

oh boo hoo, only Dustin Hoffman and those of his ilk had opportunities!
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 58
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 8/20/2013 5:15:27 PM


IMO DH is old to just now be having this epiphany

he was describing an epiphany that happened approximately 30 years ago.


Good point, I was only thinking of when he released the Interview.

The interview seemed heartfelt, though I wonder why it made him feel so emotional about it.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 59
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History
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 8/21/2013 7:51:10 PM

The people who believe that they aren't being let to think a certain way are fooling themselves as well. American's really detest fat people. (and many other types, I am just using this as an example that I have experience with) I can go to another country and being fat is just another character trait, like having blue eyes. It really depends on what the media and culture tells you to believe.

This is a common myth; I don't know anyone who dislikes fat people simply because they're fat. Yet, I hear this complaint from women all the time, that men hate them because they're fat. Men don't hate fat women; most of us simply aren't turned on by round figures, and for some of us, rolls of fat is a complete turn off. And it is the weight, and the side effects of it; many overweight people tend to sweat more than their thinner cohorts, and that can result in an unappealing body odor, which of course the person cannot smell on themselves (I have several people at work like this, and by the end of a hard shift, they reek, and, short of going off to shower every few hours, there's no way to remedy this). So, either not being turned on, or actually being sexually turned off by someone, isn't a choice, and that's not hate. We simply pursue women that we're attracted to. For guys, initial attraction is primarily visual, and believe me, we all have quite a wide range of physical types of women that we consider potential mates; short, tall, slim, average, even 'a few extra pounds', and THAT MEANS A FEW, not a lot of extra pounds. If you're a woman, and could in any way be mistaken for a guy from behind because you have no apparent waistline, then you have way more than a few extra pounds, or you're so skinny that you have no hip fat. It's been studied, and most men are most attracted to a woman with a waist to hip ratio of approximately 70%. The further you get away from that, the fewer men who will be attracted to you. But it's not hate. It's simple indifference.
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