Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 226
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?Page 10 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

PS Also! You know what-I have found that many women DO want taller men. I read women's profiles and I keep finding that the height of 5' 11' seems to be the minimum...weird!


Good to see another woman have a revelation moment about what it's like to be in a man's shoes online.
 CoralReefs
Joined: 5/31/2014
Msg: 227
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/22/2014 9:14:14 PM
Sometimes the height thing isn't as rigid as it might appear.

I was contacted by a woman who wrote in her profile, all in caps, btw, just to drive the point home:
"You must be at least 5'11", NO EXCEPTIONS! I come from a family of very tall men, so it's important to me that my man be tall."

Well, I'm 5'8", well below her threshold. Called her on this and she blew it off as unimportant.

So even strict height requirements can be negotiable.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 228
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/22/2014 9:45:19 PM
I actually like "shorter" guys. Although I dont even really see them as short. I see them as people. I'm 5' 8" in shoes and like to have a guy's face right in front of me when I hug him! Both my husband and my latest long term BF were shorter than me.

As far as HAVING to have a taller man..I mean, what if the guy has everything else you want..everything! But...he's 5' 10". Are you going to throw that all away?

Would a guy throw it all away if the woman was a little older than him, when he wants younger?

I suppose we all have our requirements.
 CoralReefs
Joined: 5/31/2014
Msg: 229
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/22/2014 10:31:27 PM

I'm 5' 8" in shoes and like to have a guy's face right in front of me when I hug him!


I now much prefer this, as well, but then again my deceased wife, who I trust will refrain from putting in a request to have thunderbolts directed my way, was only 4'6". Looking somebody straight in the eye is a real treat.
 arlo2
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 230
view profile
History
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/22/2014 11:01:07 PM

As far as HAVING to have a taller man..I mean, what if the guy has everything else you want..everything! But...he's 5' 10". Are you going to throw that all away?

Would a guy throw it all away if the woman was a little older than him, when he wants younger?


The answer to both of these questions is, usually, yes. Usually, because, by the time THOSE questions are asked, the asker has several options.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 231
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/23/2014 7:28:30 AM

skyjumper6319 If you do that, guys will assume you're looking for someone very wealthy so you can wait around to inherit.


That's jake, I would be happy the young whippersnapper will wait till I kick, as long as the sex is good she can stay and have it all.


Maleman999 Even though it's been ingrained in people's minds for the last 10,000 years, that guys are to do all of the chasing and the woman's role is to play hard to get, there's no reason why it should stay that way for another 10,000 years. There's nothing stopping women from pursuing guys they're interested in, no matter what age range.


Tradition
And how do we keep our balance? That I can tell you
in one word... . Tradition! I have no problem in chasing and the woman choosing, it's how I keep my balance.


ohenryx And even if they are physically attractive, they still have to pass two other hurdles, mental and emotional. Mental – are you intelligent, are you sane?


I don't mind a little insanity of the right kind, it can be intriguing and interesting in the short term. I enjoy the weird surprises life bring me.


ohenryx A young lady (37 years old) contacted me on a different dating site (obviously couldn’t have here), saying that she was “fed up” with the men her age and wanted to try “an older gentleman”. I never once assumed that she was a gold digger, and she and I had a lot of fun together.


Gold diggers get a bad name, what wrong with that, they are easy to handle As long as they are enthusiastic and want to show their appeal in bed, I don't mind a little greed on the gold end. It take a little gold to have a good time. I keep in mind, I have to keep my gold otherwise they would lose interest.

But I have only met one woman that was a gold digger for sure, she was a similar age to me, and a couple that seemed overly driven to succeed at the cost of not enjoying life.


VolcanoKing I think everyone is trying to figure out the right pond and lure. I dont think there is any one right answer for everyone.


I try hard to have a the best pictures possible, but I am what I am, I bang my own drum, Why not try to see things from a different angle? So I don't try much to lure people. I do strongly believe that the pond, or rather the location and what method you use to meet eligible people strongly affects the types of responses you get. So IMO it's all location, location, location.


skyjumper6319 Thanks! This is mixed news. I'm glad there are some women who don't mind my height, but now I have to find another excuse for why emails are pretty much ignored. LOL! I'm sure I'll think of something. Probably that whole 50 thing.


I have no doubt height makes a huge differences in visibility for men. I can see the huge differences when I visit a country where the average height of a male is 5.7 and under, I am hugely more popular.

I think it's a factor of 10, which is pretty big. I would get 10 times more dates if I were 5.10 in the USA.

So it isn't that you can't date if you are short, and it's likely a lot of those extra dates from women that have rigid height requirements are from women that have personalities that will cause problems in a relationship. But being more popular with many women does instill confidence, so it can be a downward or upward spiral for tall or short men, if you let it.

One thing I am not so certain about, does getting older over 50, over 60 change women strong preference for taller men? Don't know about that.
 oceanstorms
Joined: 4/10/2014
Msg: 232
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/24/2014 8:55:14 AM
I personally think there's a direct correlation...in this already hijacked thread... between all those Caucasian guys desiring those very SHORT Asian women...as is the topic of another thread....and their perception that most women want men to be taller than them.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 233
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/24/2014 11:12:00 AM
It's interesting that women over 50 feel more invisible then men over 50. Or is it more that men got used to it over the years and it feels normal?? I wonder what would be the response if it was posted in the 30's section??
I have noticed over the years that most of the older women have much higher demands from the men then the younger women in terms of money and other material things. Older women seem to fear the idea that they might end up having to pay more in a relationship. There is also the jaded feeling that many older women have about men and relationship.
Which seems to come across intentionally or not. Where other people tend to pick up, On the sublime level. In a way that tend to keep guys away same as it would for a women if she comes across a guy that is jaded. Some people don't even realize that they are so jaded and on the defense when talking to the other sex. The other person will pick up on it just walk away.
As for the looks men and women tend to go for the looks. With men a lot more then women which explains why more men tend to go for younger then women do.

If the women spend some time reading other women profiles they would notice that many women want someone who is 6' plus. Guys don't make it up its in there if you are willing to read the profiles.

So many women complain about Asian women in so many threads. I would love to know all the bad things that none Asian women can say about Asian women.......
 arlo2
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 234
view profile
History
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/25/2014 6:28:26 PM

I personally think there's a direct correlation...in this already hijacked thread... between all those Caucasian guys desiring those very SHORT Asian women...as is the topic of another thread....and their perception that most women want men to be taller than them.


Actually, Asian women from about 4'10" to 5'10" seem to fare about as well across that range. The taller ones, possibly, being at a slight premium.
 oceanstorms
Joined: 4/10/2014
Msg: 235
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/26/2014 11:38:13 AM
Interesting...please be generous enough to include your references for your stats. TX. I know myself personally have never actually seen in real life an Asian women who was taller than me...I'm 5'8" lol...and I live near Vancouver lol.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 236
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/26/2014 4:41:23 PM
I dated a Chinese girl who was 5-9 .. I know of a few Asians that are over 5-8 personally..
 arlo2
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 237
view profile
History
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/26/2014 6:03:17 PM
A very good Vietnamese friend of mine was a fighter pilot in the war. He was unusually tall for a Vietnamese man, at the time, being 5'8" . Which, worked out well for the US aircraft. After the war, he moved to the US; where he met his wife, who is also Vietnamese and stands about 5'6" ( and she is HOT at 50+ ) They have three very beautiful daughters ( all born and raised here ) who stand 5'10" 5'9" and 5'8" . The honkies are all over them !

I have done a lot of traveling, over the years, for the automotive industry. In that time, I have noticed people, especially women, in Japan, Korea, and mainland China are getting taller. The average female model in those countries is now about 5'6"-5'7". Only about 3" shorter than the average model here. The women in "interface" position in business are all 5'5" to 5'9"

Of the white guys I know who date Asian women, the average height of their GF's is about 5'5". Which, I think, just about average for women in the US. None of them even mention height as an issue. The common thread is that they are all much thinner than average. If I had to guess, probably 110 lbs vs. 150 lbs

Also, here, it seems to be the taller Asian girls who go after the white guys. The little 4'10" - 5'1" girls tend to be with Asian men, mostly.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 238
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/26/2014 7:38:28 PM

I personally think there's a direct correlation...in this already hijacked thread... between all those Caucasian guys desiring those very SHORT Asian women...as is the topic of another thread....and their perception that most women want men to be taller than them.


You have the horse and cart mixed up. Men are just responding to those women that want them the most.

Within Asia, truth is a lot of Asian women desire Caucasian guys. Not a majority, but a very noticeable minority. So naturally the Caucasian men that live in or visit Asia are partial to those that want them the most. That is the truth of it, at least within Asia.

Most people believe women control dating. I don't exactly see it that way, but a man can desire a lot of things, but they wont get dates unless the women they desire want to date them.

IMO Asian women born in the USA are culturally like other American women.

I think it's likely true that some men in the USA think Asian American women are more exotic and msg them more often. Who these Asian American women typically date, I get the feeling it isn't much different from who all other American women date.

The thread is about visibility. It's well known that men in the USA under about 5.7 lack visibility in the dating world. As a man, the shorter you are, the less visibility one has. Women over 50 start to lose the visibility they had when they were younger. Dating is no longer like falling off a log, older women have to work a little at it. Same for shorter men, we can get dates, we just have to be better and work harder than the average tall guy.

BTW, my Thai Chinese brother in law is 6 foot tall, while my wife is about 5 foot tall. The Thai guy I am dancing with is about 5.8. My first GF was 5.7, Polish and we were monogamous for 5 years.

Height, age, gender and ethnicity does affect visibility in dating.
 14everBlessed2
Joined: 6/21/2012
Msg: 239
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/27/2014 7:10:38 AM
I do think there is some truth to this as far as finding someone in my own age group.I have seen a lot of profiles where the age limit is -10 years or more younger but no older than the person's posted age. I am 56, makes me hesistant to contact the gentleman who might be older or my age and his limit is 40-55. Can't blame them for their preference but think a lot of nice people get overlooked when you don't keep an open mind in regards to this. Compatibility and shared interests are more important to me than age. With that being said I know my preferences, definitely don't want to baby sit a frat boy (i.e. the cougar hunters) but don't want to be a nurse to extreme decrepitude and rigidity (i.e. cantankerous old man syndrome). We want what we want. Off topic: height has never been an issue.
 oceanstorms
Joined: 4/10/2014
Msg: 240
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/27/2014 9:53:30 AM
I've been on and off POF for about 7 years now and read thousands of profiles. The general trend is that most men set their age limits to maybe one or two years older and 15 to 20 years younger. Who knows if this ever works for them as I see a lot of them still on the site for many years LOL...often with the same pictures! I think for both women and men we all begin to become increasingly invisible as the aging process progresses.
 arlo2
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 241
view profile
History
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/28/2014 12:06:12 AM
The top 20%-25% of the most desirable guys, over 50, easily attract women 10-20 years younger than themselves. So, for them, it works great. The lower 75% are probably split between the guys who will date an older woman and, the guys who are OK with "younger or nothing at all". Oh, and, the complainers. And, the guys who have "checked out".
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 242
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/28/2014 7:46:13 AM
Yeah, I noticed too that the majority of men online want women who are at least one year younger than themselves and rarely anyone their own age or older. I've also ran into, and went on a date once from online, with a guy who said he was younger than me. Turned out he was 10 year older and would not date anyone his own age. He's 56 and has his youngest age at 18. I asked him about this and he said "well, I can always hope."

As far as being invisible at 50...I felt invisible at 40. it's really noticeable.

For me, men are incredibly hard to date, even when I try to do everything right-let them know I am interested, give them space so they dont feel pressure, let them take the lead, or I offer a suggestion-I've tried every combo. Give them my number, etc. I am worn out, and at this point my self confidence is in the toilet. I feel that after 5 years of being friendzoned and told "I can't really see dating you but I'd love to hang out with you" or "you're really funny but...."

I can't deal with it anymore. I just dont want to hear those words again.

I have to face facts, I am not in my prime and men know this. There's little point in trying to engage someone like me in a conversation when there is someone younger and hotter right around the corner-especially in the online world where people are discarded as fast as a hamburger wrapper.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 243
view profile
History
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/28/2014 1:07:49 PM
At age 61 I am currently primarily dating a 42 year old woman. The women I have dated post divorce have mostly run from 10 to 20 years younger than myself. Naturally I have women friends near my own age but I do not view any of them as potential romantic partners.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 244
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/28/2014 2:04:13 PM
Whenever I see posts from women who complain or comment negatively about guys wanting and dating much younger women instead of a woman their own age or older, they never comment on the other half of the equation-women who are willing to date an older guy. I have yet to see a post that puts down or makes negative comments about women who are willing to date guys who are older than the woman.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 245
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/28/2014 2:17:16 PM
While we may not see direct put-downs, many of the younger woman/older guy threads frequently mention that these younger gals are most likely gold-diggers.

Personally, I don't understand why women would want to date a guy significantly older-because the way the stats run, she's very likely to wind up widowed. But maybe that's OK with some gals?
I know, we don't see threads vilifying younger women for dating older guys-but they don't exactly get off scot free, either. Many times it's suggested that the younger woman with the older man is seekng security, or $$$-or that she has "Daddy issues".
Cindy O
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 246
view profile
History
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/28/2014 3:42:57 PM
^^^^

A 40 year old dating a 60 year old does not have 'daddy issues'. They enjoy each other's company.

My guy is 3 years older than I am. I make a point of keeping slim and being his hot babe. I can completely understand why many guys over 50 seek younger women...so many women their own age project an image of a frumpy grandma. They are overweight, dull and boring. I'm a mother, grandmother but, first in life, I am my guy 's girlfriend. I act like his girlfriend. Tonight my daughter and I are hitting the clubs with our guys...out dancing instead of ' having to get to bed' because tomorrow is the day to clean the house. Cripes, it's sad how old some people act old long before they are dead...they might as well be dead.
 oceanstorms
Joined: 4/10/2014
Msg: 247
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/29/2014 10:25:51 AM
I totally agree with VolcanoKing...after many years on this site there are certain things which appear to be true. Most guys do want younger women. When I look at profiles my age first thing I look at are their age settings. If their age settings are something like 21 to 45...and they are 50+...NEXT. I've asked my 22 and 20 year old daughters if they would date guys that age...they hysterical laughter went on for about 10 minutes LOL.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 5/3/2014
Msg: 248
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/6/2014 8:32:30 AM
Maybe it's true that some guys have younger settings sometimes for what they are looking for, but I constantly hear from those same people who supposedly want someone younger according to their profile preferences.

So I don't get it, in those cases, are those guys only wanting older if they can pick them rather than being "bothered" by a woman in her 40s or above initiating to them?

Why bother having ages listed at all if you're going to write someone who is a full 10 years older than the oldest you say you would accept mail from if they initiated? I don't quite get it.
 NYCKOSI
Joined: 5/19/2014
Msg: 249
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/10/2014 4:59:13 AM
No way, as I got older I found myself to have better luck. What can I say, I look way too good.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 250
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/10/2014 7:31:25 AM

Why bother having ages listed at all if you're going to write someone who is a full 10 years older than the oldest you say you would accept mail from if they initiated? I don't quite get it.


I am older and more mature than you.

Let me explain, people aren't logical nor do they often make sense. If you expect people in general to be consistent, you will be disappointed often.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?