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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?      Home login  
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 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 51
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?Page 3 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
comment from ladyc4,
"Really, I don’t mean to pick on this particular poster ."
"Yeah I think you DO-and I think you have the OP confused with someone else."

Yes, I think he does...I did not say either of those things!

Good point about people being interested in only what THEY are doing. I've encountered coffee meetings where the guy talked on and on about himself. Didn't seem at all interested in what I might like to do.

 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 52
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/26/2013 1:51:55 PM
I'm waiting for an app to come out that will make me visible. Until then, I'll just hang out with Casper.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 53
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/26/2013 2:06:45 PM

OMG- I'd pay MONEY to see that...

Did I forget to mention the checkered orange, green and pink tights?
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 54
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/26/2013 6:58:00 PM

Women in particular never outgrow this “I am pretty oh so pretty” phenomenon they learn to believe at a young age when men actually paid attention to them.


where on earth did you get this idea???? this is such a tiny segment of the female population, it's statistically light years from the rest of us.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 55
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/26/2013 7:19:13 PM
^^^once you stop celebrating life, you might as well lay down and die...

:-(
 FloridaRes123
Joined: 5/11/2013
Msg: 56
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/27/2013 5:02:42 AM

I don't miss men yelling at me on the street, following me, grabbing me, whistling, hitting on me every single place I went, treating me like a piece of meat or a thing instead of an intelligent human being. If that's being invisible then I'm good.


I'm curious as to what kind of venues is this even happening to you AND what kind of event? Is this just out at the grocery store, shopping at a department store?

I'm curious as to where you are when this was happening to you?
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 57
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/27/2013 8:45:11 AM
I have no issue meeting and talking to people. Obvious. You will meet and talk to more people in a social setting than alone at home. If you don't speak to people in a grocery store line up it's not because you are invisible but you lack the social skills to start up a conversation.

People isolate themselves in society. That's fine if we're content to being alone... I am for most of the time. However, if we want to not be invisible, get out, make eye contact and use your mouth.

As for those 'put out' by men looking at them. Happened but some of us managed to smile and move on fine. Others are obsessed with some excuse to be bitchy.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 58
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/27/2013 9:54:20 AM
Interesting topic. I spent most of my life being invisible. There were always some people who could see me, but most couldn't. I was totally invisible during high school. I suspect that saved me from being bullied and teased, so I didn't mind. The older I got, though, the more people were able to see me. Now, at 58, I'm more visible than I've ever been. I feel more alive than I ever felt before. Men? Meh...some can see me and some can't, but it doesn't bother me all that much.
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 59
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/27/2013 10:18:34 AM
we can be invisible if we are here on dating site but we can have a powerful presence out there in the real world with our work and dedication to helpless people. so it all depends on what kind of visibility one wants !
 pageforyou
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 60
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/27/2013 12:45:53 PM
I have no issue meeting and talking to people. Obvious. You will meet and talk to more people in a social setting than alone at home. If you don't speak to people in a grocery store line up it's not because you are invisible but you lack the social skills to start up a conversation.

People isolate themselves in society. That's fine if we're content to being alone... I am for most of the time. However, if we want to not be invisible, get out, make eye contact and use your mouth.


So what's it like to know everything about everyone? ;)

I have done everything you mention, ALL my life. I'm very good at it because I enjoy it.
STILL "treated" like I am invisible in ALL but settings with people my own age and socio economic status
since I turned about forty. I emphasize TREATED. Because there is a difference people, including you,
are blurring or ignoring, in some of your comments on this thread. Maybe you haven't experienced it.

I never FEEL invisible, not even when people repeatedly treat me that way.
I am just saying I never treated any member of ANY generation that way,
while I preferred people my own age, I was used to including anyone in my sphere
and enjoyed having them in my life.

I notice a marked change in the past 15 or so years and it ends up with people living in a bubble
except for those they "see" as part of their clan based on overt similarities.

It's a step backward in my opinion.
So much work has been done generation after generation to spread awareness about the rightness of inclusion
AND the advantages.

Sadly people are sheep for the most part!
NO matter how much I participate and lead in things that I can and like to do.
 Sapphireeyes100
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 61
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/27/2013 3:41:40 PM

I have no issue meeting and talking to people. Obvious.

Ok that cracked me up--someone without a picture saying Obvious--how ironic!


You will meet and talk to more people in a social setting than alone at home. If you don't speak to people in a grocery store line up it's not because you are invisible but you lack the social skills to start up a conversation.


First time I went to the grocery store in Miami with my husband, I was talking to everyone and we got in the car and he said...wtf is wrong with you--I was like what do you mean, he said you dont know those people why were you talking to them?

I grew up in an area with it was socially acceptable to talk to people in line at the grocery store, he was from up north and then in a big city and he felt that talking to *everyone was a good way to get hurt and strongly advised me never to do it again that I would have no clue who someone was that I was just being nice to, ie you set yourself up for a con artist to take advantage of.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 62
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/28/2013 2:45:51 AM
What Op may be experiencing ( her perception) is just less attention due to loosing what op FEELS as good or young looks.
(Losing your looks).

You haven't lost looking good Op, maybe just not turning 25 year old heads anymore like you probably once did..
Who cares about 25 year olds?
 pageforyou
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 63
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/28/2013 8:02:03 AM
With the preponderance of men, out in the real world too, looking for women down to half my/their age. It's men our own age that do it too and matter most in the equation to me. Sadly, it's the 18 to 30 year olds, I inadvertently turn heads for most in the past TWO decades.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 64
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/12/2013 5:55:00 AM
I don't think we become invisible; but, especially for women, you're not going to get the same amount of attention that you did when you were, say, 25, when every single straight man on the planet wanted to have sex with you, and most women seem to have difficulty dealing with that loss of attention. That phase is gone. But, there are still lots of nice men around, you just have to start paying more attention to US. Yes, welcome to our world, most guys went through our younger years as the invisible ones. Now it's the woman's turn. What goes around, comes around.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 65
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/12/2013 6:45:40 AM

I don't think we become invisible; but, especially for women, you're not going to get the same amount of attention that you did when you were, say, 25, when every single straight man on the planet wanted to have sex with you, and most women seem to have difficulty dealing with that loss of attention. That phase is gone. But, there are still lots of nice men around, you just have to start paying more attention to US. Yes, welcome to our world, most guys went through our younger years as the invisible ones. Now it's the woman's turn. What goes around, comes around.


I completely agree with this post. As a male friend of mine said at our 30th H S class reunion "The shoe is on the other foot." Just learn to deal with it, as we males have all our lives.
 pageforyou
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 66
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/12/2013 10:01:42 AM

Males and females who choose to present themselves well are not invisible.


That is SUCH an absolute statement! You cannot and should not speak for EVERY guy or anyone but yourself.
Does what you say mean those who are consistently ignored "choose" to present themselves poorly? Sounds like it.

No one has said anyone IS invisible. It is how they are sometimes, even often, treated, by others.

I do present well, always have, as I enjoy it for myself, first. I just happen to maintain all the attributes you mention as "attractive" to you and many others.

It is at past age forty that ignoring my "hellos" to ( even to the point of sidling away and I do not wear perfume! lol) people I am dealing with, began.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 67
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/12/2013 12:46:00 PM
I'm certainly not invisible and don't allow myself to be invisible. I must talk to a couple dozen nice gentlemen in Meet Up functions I attend. I'm more popular with the guys than when I was in high school. It wasn't that I wasn't pretty back then but rather was quiet and a bit timid. I belong to a dance group, hiking group, mature hiking group and a birdwatching group. Meet 'kids' in their 20's and 30's and seniors in their 80's. Everyone talks to everyone except for the few grumps who don't seem to like people.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 68
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/12/2013 3:30:09 PM
Page

If you have become invisible since you were past age 40.

It's you.

If I can describe the difference to you this way, maybe you'll get what a couple if us mean.

It's what you ooze from inside some call THAT THING.

How I walk and interact with people when I know I am looking and feeling pretty darn good verses how I act when I look/am tired and throw on a gunny sack..Its amazing how much I myself change and we DO project that on to others.

I agree a man wants a sexy woman regardless if shes young or old.
I want a sexy man.




Give me Harvey Keitel any day. That sexy beast with an old weird face is so captivating

I would wear YSL dresses everyday in stilettos if I could with pow wow black hose but Im usually in yoga pants and a cute form fitting top.
Make sure my bra is not cutting my back in half or pushing my breast weird.

Little things count.

No eyeliner? I feel dead looking, add it I'm enchanting, take it a bit darker and thicker ?
POW huge Natalie Wood doe eyes no human can resist.( with contacts of course)

I feel it thus I project it.


Its that inner thing.That kapow a wow wow dang dong ..then just look at them like you are important because you feel important.



Its attitude and inner feelings about yourself.. that ooozes and draws people in to you.
Men and women.


You cannot and should not speak for EVERY guy or anyone but yourself.
Does what you say mean those who are consistently ignored "choose" to present themselves poorly? Sounds like it.


He is giving you an opinion I happen to agree with and women like women that project a bit of kapangwang too..

You have a bad attitude..geez it just dripped out of my screen
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 69
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/12/2013 3:50:55 PM
"you're only as old as you feel", "age doesn't matter", etc. Well, apparently age does matter.

Of course it matters. You have your age restrictions from 58-65. It certainly matters A LOT to you. But you don't want it to be held against you, right? :)

In reference to what you're pointing out specifically -- you're only as "old" as you feel is kind of correct. Most people over 50 aren't going to live active social lives amongst the general public. Why not? Same basic reason many women over 50 want age restrictions like you do! They don't want to associate with things that younger people do. They don't Feel like it -- due to their age.

In the online or game-show dating world (like speed dating), many seniors haven't caught onto that as much, so you'll have to look harder, and look in different directions. I'm no expert on where to find single seniors, but I'd recommend bingo night, casinos and advertised senior-related activities out there!
 or_current_resident
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 70
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/12/2013 7:02:10 PM

Truth is that everybody is invisible, young or old, to those who matter to them . . which are people in their age group.


Well,that's not quite true as people who have similar interest enjoy hearing those no matter at what age group.

There are so many tangibles in what makes the world go round in all of us. As reading the replies here, everyone has their own personal method in drawing them in. Or keeping them away after 50 or whatever your age your at, for that matter. And what lifestyle ones pursues now,and in the later years of life.

imo, there is no secret if you still enjoy being with the opposite sex, as long as you are willing and able. And each are comfortable in one own shoes.

And in what I found is, there are still people who like those who are genuine & honest. And if the feeling is mutual, the whole world sings with you, wishing they too could have what you have. As now the secret out. ^^^^^^


Any way, the world will keep spinning regardless of any excuses you think it should,or not. ^^^^^^^^

So get the lead out, as there will be someone out there, just like you who enjoy the same things like you,and will also like each other in the things individually, you thought you wouldn't. ^^^^^^
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 71
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/12/2013 9:17:12 PM
Oh so she has a age requirement on my profile and its her fault?

Read my post. She's complaining that the phrase "age doesn't matter" isn't true when she wants it to be, yet she has a very tight age restriction herself. I'm not criticizing her for the age restriction, I'm criticizing the hypocrisy. It DOES matter to her (see her age restriction), but in other areas she doesn't want it to matter if she's getting the short end of the stick.

Bingo night yeah okay, most of them are welfare moms in their 20's to50's so try again.

If you're in your 50s you're 50+. And there are bingo places with varying age groups, ones where you will find more people 50+. The comment was a big tongue-in-cheek, referring to non-nightlife places or speed-dating endeavors (like she wishes for) for the most part.

Casinos? all ages attend, try again

Read my post (and hers again). You're actually validating my recommendation. It's not about 50+ only... it's about not being invisible. It's a place where all ages go. You'll find a higher % of 50+ at the casino than at a speed-dating place she's tried. Again, her goal is to find places where 50+ people exist. Places where all ages attend are places where 50+ people exist.

Senior Related actives like what? retirement age dancing? Lawn-bowling tournaments where first prize is a month of depends? what?

I don't know... that Depends! ;) Maybe playing cards & watching re-runs of Matlock & Murder She Wrote and meetups at Old Country Buffet! :)

older people such as the OP are more active and social then you think, part of the problem is men her age generally like younger tight mini skirt all legs type

Read her post again... Her complaint is she can't FIND any -- not that there are many out there but are all not interested in her. She needs to go to places where people in their 40s & 50s more hang out at.... like Happy Hour at a nice restaurant/bar, as opposed to a nightclub or even a generic speed dating session where most people are in their 20s & 30s (unless it's an age-bracket speed-dating, which is popular). She's hanging out at the wrong places -- that IS her complaint, indirectly. She wants to know where they're visible. As you also pointed out, casinos are a place where they exist (as with all ages 21+), as just one example.

THe younger guys who go after the cougars have mother issues, dont want committed sex or the spectre of pregnancy and perhaps will learn a trick or two. Can be fun as long as everyone knows the score.

Well many cougars are still fertile (late 30s+, usually meaning 40+). I think "gMilfs" would be the ones who are more definitely infertile, but I digress... I rarely think it's the mother issues.... that should never be assumed. Every guy would want to "pork" a hot mom actress on TV who's 42 in real life. I agree with your other part -- about having a fling/FWB, without the pressure of commitment due to the big age gap. Also, less chance of immature baby-games being played -- cougars tend to be more direct, to the point, and more emotionally stable than their 22 year old counterparts.
 sasparillo
Joined: 12/7/2012
Msg: 72
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/15/2013 8:18:34 AM
Maybe some of the older men are like you, they worry that they might kill the older women, and so look for younger women. Sasparillo
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 73
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/15/2013 9:12:54 AM
I'm 49 so not quite there yet, but... invisible you say??
Woohoo!!! I'm gonna be robbing some banks next year!!

... oh, you don't mean that kinda invisible, do you? Damn.

I've felt like that for a while now, honestly - but then again I *try* to be low-profile and don't get out enough.
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 74
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/16/2013 11:53:02 AM
The older we become, the more invisible we become. Go the funeral of a young person working in a large organization with lots of friends, and the place will be packed. Go to the funeral of the typical retired person, no matter what his status in his younger days, who has already outlived most of his/her good friends, and you will be lucky if you can fill the first few rolls of the Church. It is simply a fact of life that in our society, as we age, we not only become invisible, but we are considered more and more useless. Young People don't want to employ the aged except as walmart greeters, don't want to associate with the aged, want nothing to do with them. It starts at forty, gets worse at fifty and then gets exponentially worse as you reach your sixties and beyond. Our society is clearly a youth oriented society. What's really sad is that most younger people don't even know who the great actors of the day were. Paul Newman was just a guy who sold salad dressing, and his friend Robert Redford, an ugly, old guy who runs some sort of movie festival. That's the way it is and will always be in the U.S.
 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 75
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/16/2013 8:38:08 PM
Confident-Realist:
I read your profile, you're 36 so you don't really understand what being 50+ is all about (let alone 60+ and beyond)...Happy Hour at a nice restaurant? I'd like to find one. Speed dating does have an age restriction which I totally understand in that young people don't want to show up and only see people who look like their parents. I have not yet encountered a 50+ speed dating venue...I have seen one or two advertised but they don't happen as they can't get enough men 50+. I'm hanging out in the wrong places? Hmm, firstly I don't 'hang out'. Done the casino thing...the ones where there is live music and dancing...the 50+ men are there with their girlfriends or wives. I don't want young guys just for sex, I'm not into that...and I don't frequent the bars, nothing more pathetic than a woman sitting alone sipping a cola looking like she wants to be 'picked up' for a one nighter...you see, as a single person I've been most of the places you mention. When you reach the age of 50+ you'll understand the reality of being 50+.

I a realist too, and when I attend a function these days, I go with no expectations at all...and no, I'm not being negative, just realistic. But hey, I've been told that you'll meet someone when you least expect it...so bring it on, I'm still open to it.

My plans are to live my life to the fullest, filled with what I love to do and no longer stress out about being alone...I'm great company and I like myself...once you throw away the fantasy of meeting "Mr. Right" to 'complete your life', a whole new world of possibilities opens up.
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