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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?      Home login  
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 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 76
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?Page 4 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
I'm 49 so not quite there yet, but... invisible you say??
Woohoo!!! I'm gonna be robbing some banks next year!!

... oh, you don't mean that kinda invisible, do you? Damn.

I've felt like that for a while now, honestly - but then again I *try* to be low-profile and don't get out enough.
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 77
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/16/2013 11:53:02 AM
The older we become, the more invisible we become. Go the funeral of a young person working in a large organization with lots of friends, and the place will be packed. Go to the funeral of the typical retired person, no matter what his status in his younger days, who has already outlived most of his/her good friends, and you will be lucky if you can fill the first few rolls of the Church. It is simply a fact of life that in our society, as we age, we not only become invisible, but we are considered more and more useless. Young People don't want to employ the aged except as walmart greeters, don't want to associate with the aged, want nothing to do with them. It starts at forty, gets worse at fifty and then gets exponentially worse as you reach your sixties and beyond. Our society is clearly a youth oriented society. What's really sad is that most younger people don't even know who the great actors of the day were. Paul Newman was just a guy who sold salad dressing, and his friend Robert Redford, an ugly, old guy who runs some sort of movie festival. That's the way it is and will always be in the U.S.
 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 78
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/16/2013 8:38:08 PM
Confident-Realist:
I read your profile, you're 36 so you don't really understand what being 50+ is all about (let alone 60+ and beyond)...Happy Hour at a nice restaurant? I'd like to find one. Speed dating does have an age restriction which I totally understand in that young people don't want to show up and only see people who look like their parents. I have not yet encountered a 50+ speed dating venue...I have seen one or two advertised but they don't happen as they can't get enough men 50+. I'm hanging out in the wrong places? Hmm, firstly I don't 'hang out'. Done the casino thing...the ones where there is live music and dancing...the 50+ men are there with their girlfriends or wives. I don't want young guys just for sex, I'm not into that...and I don't frequent the bars, nothing more pathetic than a woman sitting alone sipping a cola looking like she wants to be 'picked up' for a one nighter...you see, as a single person I've been most of the places you mention. When you reach the age of 50+ you'll understand the reality of being 50+.

I a realist too, and when I attend a function these days, I go with no expectations at all...and no, I'm not being negative, just realistic. But hey, I've been told that you'll meet someone when you least expect it...so bring it on, I'm still open to it.

My plans are to live my life to the fullest, filled with what I love to do and no longer stress out about being alone...I'm great company and I like myself...once you throw away the fantasy of meeting "Mr. Right" to 'complete your life', a whole new world of possibilities opens up.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 79
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/17/2013 11:00:52 AM
Zip, nope, I don't think we are. But I do think that at times, we, like those even younger than us, can get sunken in our situations so deeply that we can't see our way out. I'd been ill for quite a while (at least five years) without realizing how it was affecting my *seeing*. . . . It took coming to a head (and nearly killing me in the process), and a rather long time toward recovery, to even begin to see how far I'd drifted out to sea. The light came on when one day as I sat here at my computer and looked up at the big ornate mirror at the end of the room, and realized it had been more than two years since I'd even *been* to that end of the room, much less washed the mirror, polished the brass doodads or dusted the mantel. Took my breath away. I'm now working my way that direction, and see a bit more light every day.


Is there age discrimination? You betchur sweet bippy. Are there ways to work around it? Fer shur. As dear Doc Seuss would say: “Those who matter don't care, and those who care don't matter.”


Hang ten.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 80
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/17/2013 11:08:27 AM
I'm almost 50, and I get more attention from men than at almost any other time in my life.

It is as Pepps says. It's all in the presentation and attitude.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 81
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/17/2013 2:50:07 PM
Timeforall
with all due respect, what you report has ABSOLUTELY not been my experience. Either your social environment is very different from mine, or this defeatism is coming out of your own head.
Cindy O
 yerkiddinrite
Joined: 12/19/2012
Msg: 82
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/18/2013 10:59:03 AM
I am 53 years old and I most certainly am not invisible. I have a great time meeting and dating nice men both younger and older than me. I have a young friend (she's 31) who wanted me to go on one of those "single mingle" things with her but I declined. I figured it would be all young men and I don't want to end up in the MILF category. I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, meeting men in real life and on dating sites, going on meet and greets and dates and maybe one of these days I will actually find THE ONE. Until then, I will date.
 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 83
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/18/2013 12:57:59 PM
Msg 98

I certainly am not looking for someone younger, far from it...I'm looking for someone in my age group, someone I can have a relevant conversation with. Friends have suggested that I look for someone younger, about 5-7 years younger is ok, however they don't seem to be looking for me, also my eldest son is in his mid 40's and it's just creepy to me to date someone his age!
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 84
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/18/2013 3:17:25 PM
also my eldest son is in his mid 40's


Zippytwo, your profile lists you as 61 years of age. Your son is 45ish. So you had him when you were in your mid teens?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 85
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/18/2013 3:37:40 PM

All of the women in my housing park are invisible . . .

Really? You can give a detailed description of what you find unappealing about women you claim are" invisible"?

I think that your REAL complaint is that none of them will accommodate your desire to have a clandestine sex-buddy.
If they have husbands or boyfriends, why would you think they don't like guys? Maybe the only guy they don't like is YOU.
Look, in casual settings( friend, neighbors, coworkers, family) LOTS of people complain about their mates, their kids, their house, cars, whatever. I think you are putting such a negative spin on your neighbors because none of them will play along with your attempts to cheat on your injured gf.
To sum up, you report that "they" "eat too much" "dress like slobs" "never wear any make-up", etc. HOw, pray teel, did you manage to notice all this about women you insist are "invisible"?
Could it be grapes that are VERY sour???
Cindy O
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 86
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/18/2013 5:18:01 PM

You'd think in this day and age the age of a person doesn't matter. At least that's what I hear all the time: "you're only as old as you feel", "age doesn't matter", etc. Well, apparently age does matter.


They're just catch phrases, like buzz words, that people throw around as easy as ordering a Big Mac.


So, if you're over 50 do you feel like you've become invisible?


Yes.


the only dating options are the much younger men and the married ones :(
once a women is over 45


No, women over 45 have etiher become set in their ways or become pickier who they will date.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 87
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/18/2013 5:56:30 PM

women over 45 have etiher become set in their ways or become pickier who they will date.


so YOU would date just anyone????
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 88
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/18/2013 6:00:13 PM

No, women over 45 have etiher become set in their ways or become pickier who they will date.


Yeah, I’m a bit “pickier” than I was as an empty headed kid marrying for “love” …. whoo…was that a bad call.

Some of us learn from our mistakes, and quit dating them.

I don’t feel invisible…but I’m not 50 yet, so maybe it’ll come over me all of a sudden.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 89
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/18/2013 6:47:22 PM
By 50 you pass through to a different genre, that's all. Quit looking to the young ones for traction.

I just returned from an awesome Bluegrass festival at Ness Creek Sask. It was loaded full of over 50s, and they were having a great time, even some hookups. You need to find the things where the 50 year old crowd hangs out. In my experience, plays and theatre attract many 50+ people.

Just get out there , put out the single vibe and see what comes.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 90
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/18/2013 7:44:01 PM

so YOU would date just anyone????


Nope, I would not. But it's not about me and whether I AM picky (which I would be, btw), it was as to whether or not women over 45 are because they can't find dates with men their own age.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 91
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/18/2013 10:23:45 PM
But it's not about me and whether I AM picky (which I would be, btw), it was as to whether or not women over 45 are because they can't find dates with men their own age.

It's not about just "dates" - I could have a date any and every night of the week if I wanted through meetup.com/other activities or through POF.

It's about dates with men/a man who have/has the potential to form a committed and exclusive and, hopefully, lifelong relationship with. These men are very few and far between in my age range. The men in my age range (who I'm otherwise attracted to) seem to still be trying to find themselves and/or otherwise not looking for a committed and exclusive relationship.

It seems by their 60's that the men are ready to 'pair bond' again. If I were interested in men 10+ years older then there would be plenty of good candidates.

That said, I'm not whining about my options and choices. I can't be said to be TOO picky because I ACCEPT that my preferences limit my options. I would say I'm just picky ENOUGH.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 92
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/19/2013 6:46:22 AM

Yeah, I'll take my 50 and all that comes with it over my self centered 20 any day of the week.


+1.

And the trick is avoiding others who are also 50+ who have become more self-centered than in their 20+ days.
 Archiver
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 93
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/19/2013 12:47:56 PM
Naw, we're still live and kicking. I have a new beau at age 65, a 68 year old friend reconnected with an old boyfriend earlier this year and got married, and a 72 year old friend is having a wonderful time dating the man who owns the salon where she has been getting her hair done for over a decade. She had been a friend of his wife, who died a few years ago. She was under his nose all this time.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 94
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/19/2013 1:11:13 PM

It's not about just "dates" - I could have a date any and every night of the week if I wanted through meetup.com/other activities or through POF.


Don't know if I could say the same. I do know I could go on dates a little more often than I currently do but am not willing to go out with someone just for the sake of having a date.


It's about dates with men/a man who have/has the potential to form a committed and exclusive and, hopefully, lifelong relationship with. These men are very few and far between in my age range. The men in my age range (who I'm otherwise attracted to) seem to still be trying to find themselves and/or otherwise not looking for a committed and exclusive relationship


Or just not interested in someone my age.



...mae
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 95
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/19/2013 5:02:07 PM

Or just not interested in someone my age.

I guess that's my problem - I not interested in younger men (already feel I'm stretching my limit going 2 yrs younger) and not interested in men too much older (about 5-7 yrs seems to be my limit). So, to the extent that I do feel a bit invisible to men in my age range, I'm not invisible to men outside my age range.

But not trying to make a bigger deal of it than it is. I'm ok with the lack of prospects at the moment since I seem to be in an emotional lull where other things are occupying my interest.
 lostinqld
Joined: 10/19/2012
Msg: 96
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/19/2013 5:05:13 PM
Being over fifty and living in a fairly small country town in Qld, Australia, is difficult. I have recently moved here and know few people. However, a guy here asked me to help organize a monthly meet and it has turned out to be a great thing. We meet at an hotel, have dinner and then listen to music and play pool. Our next one is going to involve a trivia night and dressing up as hippies (most of us still have those clothes in our wardrobes). The ages range from early twenties to over 60. I have met some great people , both male and female. Our last meet had around 30 people and most surprisingly, more men than women. I have also been told that in another rural town further north, they meet for bowling, movies and picnics. It is not all about "hooking up" but a fairly laid back more traditional way of meeting.
 DietFree
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 97
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/19/2013 5:37:43 PM
I'm over 50 and I'm still active. I still go out and socialize.
I'm invisible (here), but it's by choice.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 98
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 9/5/2013 12:30:56 PM
Just returned from Costco where I met a nice lady I would judge to be somewhere in her late thirties. After we talked a while I asked her out and she said yes. She did not find me invisible at age 60.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 99
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 9/6/2013 1:45:46 PM
I'm still a few years shy of it but I know here in the metro area in Minnesota there are a TON of active groups for people 50+; and they are absolutely out of control crazy active in terms of events, member activity level and amount of exposure to each other.

so no. There is absolutely zero invisibility here at least.
 LuvADKs
Joined: 8/31/2011
Msg: 100
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 11/10/2013 8:17:39 PM

it would appear men 50-60 don't attend these kind of things


Regarding men over 50: most men in their 50's are the senior employees in their respective fields. Meaning: they probably work a lot of hours and their careers are one of the primary focal points in their lives.
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