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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 136
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?Page 6 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
It just takes longer to find those "hot" mature women that will meet all your needs, and far to many men will not expend the time and energy to do that, when they can just flash their wallets, occupations, cars, and investments and get those much younger to join them!

I prefer an equal, in all ways, and their age is not the deciding factor at all......it is if we can walk side by side and be considered hot by the other!! Far to many still see themselves as young and hot, and cover up their short comings with other things and rationalize it all away. I say "seek what you offer, and offer what you seek"!! The rest just happens.

cd
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 137
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 3/31/2014 3:27:51 PM
I don't think I'm invisible.
I don't consider myself young, but I think I'm pretty hot.
We all have shortcomings, and for the most part they're pretty obvious
to everyone else.
Just because you're seeking what you offer, doesn't mean the offeree is
going to be interested. If it were that simple, there wouldn't be any single
people about.

I'm pretty sure what I'm looking for isn't beyond my abilities, I'm also
pretty sure there aren't many people that interest me. It could be that I need
to move or otherwise broaden my horizons.

I think that could be the problem with a lot of fishes.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 138
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 3/31/2014 5:19:10 PM

Yes, I deal with the fact that I am invisible, accept it and understand that it is only going to get worse from here, and at some point there will be no sex and affection from a man. It's almost like something I have to plan for like retirement...I have to build up a reserve of acceptance and make peace with it.


Up 2 you to do as you like.

Personally I am surprised you find it so difficult, I wouldn't have thought so.

But I can believe that some locations are easier than others to meet compatible men or women. Whatever compatible means, it varies. Which means the locations will vary.

I know what works for me to find a romantic partner. I can't really say what works well other people especially a woman. But what seems to work is to more dramatically change where you look for a partner. Not change yourself, not became more aggressive.

I also believe that self talk does reinforce either negative or positive results. So being negative reinforces your beliefs.

So while I do think women over 50 lose some visibility, it means it becomes more difficult to find a compatible partner. Not impossible.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 139
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/1/2014 8:30:17 AM


VolcanoKing in msg 205:
I've seen men cowtow to the most snotty, cruel, restricting and demanding women because..they are hot. Some men will put up with ANYTHING for some of that hot poontang.


Has it ever occurred to you that to some men YOU are that “hot poontang”? Yes, it’s true, to a DOM (dirty old man) like me, you are definitely “young” and “hot”. Now, I know that you don’t want anything to do with me, I am too old, too far away, too ugly, too (fill in the blanks). But my point is still valid, there are many men in this world to whom you are “hot poontang”. What you have to do is find a man who feels that way about you, and who simultaneously meets your minimum requirements for age, appearance, location, etc, etc.

Your basic complaint, boiled down to it’s essence, is that the men you want do not want you. How many times have we heard that before here on these forums? (From both sexes, more often from men than from women.)




DragonBits in msg 208:
Personally I am surprised you find it so difficult, I wouldn't have thought so.

You see, here’s another DOM lusting after you!


I also believe that self talk does reinforce either negative or positive results. So being negative reinforces your beliefs.

+1



BrownEyesBoo in msg 207:
I don't consider myself young, but I think I'm pretty hot.

+1 Plus one, a big thumbs up to that! I have been following your posts for several years now, and I have to agree, you’re pretty hot. Both in appearance, and in attitude. You have a positive outlook on life, relationships, many things, and I like that every bit as much as I like your appearance.
 KalGrl
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 140
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/1/2014 10:51:47 AM
VK I live in the same town as you and work in the entertainment industry so I have been where you are. I am 57 so my DMV is less than zero here.
Whats works for me is focusing on the positives in my life and taking each day as it comes. No one knows what the future holds all you can do is be the best you possible and try to focus on the "now"
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 142
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/1/2014 7:59:38 PM
KalGrl, what is DMV? Besides a place everyone hates to go? haha

The entertainment biz isnt entirely a waste, my last BF of 8 years worked doing what I do, animation, and I just had lunch with him today. He's one of the few "didn't get sucked into the system" mentality types, and they're ain't many of those around.

Plus, ohenryx, yes, that's' what it boils down to. Actually, I get zero attention, so, I suppose it's that *no one* is interested, not just the ones I happen to like!

Now if I was shaped like a celphone, I would be stared at all day! Haha
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 143
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/1/2014 9:14:29 PM
Ter, there is no hard and set rule, but LA is a different place. The mindset of alot of people is that of complete entitlement, regardless of what THEY may have to offer. And to many people, the hottest are the only option. People come here to be seen, to have their egos gratified...not many cities are set up as "ego gratification centers" the way Los Angeles is.

And of course, outside of TinselTown, there's the WalMarts...so sure, if I wanted to find a nice huge guy who wears his underpants on the OUTSIDE of his jeans...hahahaha!

I was in Beverly Hills today and let me tell ya..some of the people there are even scarier. I was in a grocery store on Beverly Blvd and some of the women...good god, the plastic surgery they go thru and how effed up they look..honestly..we are all going to get old...*at least look natural while it's happening*...but no..you've got these ladies walking around looking like aging snap turtles with bloated fish lips...I struggled not to stare at one of them in line next to me..sometimes the beauty end of this city can turn into some sort of spook house spectacle. But that's how important "looking youthful" is here...to the point of deforming yourself.
 KalGrl
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 145
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/2/2014 9:07:58 AM
DMV Dating Market Value
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 146
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/2/2014 1:34:59 PM
Is there a website or dating site where they only take invisible people? What would there requirements be about photos submitted.I think some are just bummed that the game has changed so dramatically.When you now have 18 year old's on dating sites giving up on real life.It paints a picture of some real ugliness in the future.You can have it!I am fine where I am Thank you !
 Ilovechristmas25
Joined: 1/21/2014
Msg: 147
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/4/2014 6:16:47 AM
Problem is that Volcano King is in her 40s, now someone in their 60s or older is more likely the age of her father, not a peer. The most unappealing prospect would to be dating your daddy. I don't think it is outrageous in that some females like to date men that are at their age level (no more than 10 yrs their senior) tops.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 148
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/4/2014 2:24:23 PM
At this point I am not ruling out men in their 60's. No one my age is interested, so...shouldn't discount the rest...
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 149
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/5/2014 10:44:08 AM
Eh, if you weren't 3000mi away VK...

Mostly your area though I would think, the "Hollywood mentality" probably runs deep there.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 150
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/5/2014 1:18:48 PM
In my 40s I was, most definitely, not invisible.
In my 50s I, most definitely, am. Except to men 10+ years older or younger.

Advice like - get out and do stuff hasn't worked. Almost every activity I engage in is predominantly male - I own a mechanics garage, compete in target shooting, volunteer on HFH builds, trail hike, am an expert skier, love fishing and flying rc planes for goodness sake, and no luck. Sure I'm doing what I enjoy so it should be just an added bonus to meet a man doing it. But the point is that I want to meet a mate so if the advice is 'doing fun stuff' is the way to do it, then that advice hasn't work in years.

Advice like - stay in shape and keep up your appearance hasn't work. I'm HWP, very active (although make no claims to be able to do what I did when I was 40 or less), and look pretty damn good even though I don't wear make-up. In the 9 years I've been divorced and the 2+ yrs I've been 50 (and over), not one single man has approached me in real life. Not one. So if there's some other trick to staying in shape and keeping up my appearance then I would appreciate learning it.

Sometimes I just get fed up, delete my account, and come back after an attitude adjustment. Other than that, I've got nothing.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 151
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/14/2014 2:24:57 PM


VolcanoKing in msg: 216
At this point I am not ruling out men in their 60's. No one my age is interested, so...shouldn't discount the rest...

You can forget about that possibility here. Marcus, in his infinite wisdom, has completely disallowed it.


CynthiaSM in msg: 218
In the 9 years I've been divorced and the 2+ yrs I've been 50 (and over), not one single man has approached me in real life. Not one.

I can’t for the life of me imagine why not. Or maybe I can. Are you giving off a “leave me alone” vibe? I was out and about this last Saturday night, at an event for over 50 singles. There were 17 women at this event, and I talked to most of them at some point during the evening. Three of them I “hit on” (asked for their phone number, etc). The ones I didn’t “hit on” were either not attractive to me, or they just plain looked/acted like they weren’t interested in me. Men depend on women to make it apparent that they (the women) WANT to be approached. Are you doing your part in this “mating dance”?
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 152
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/14/2014 3:16:21 PM
Seems like the same negativity seen in profile after profile is exhibited out on the street as well . Men learned a very long time ago that freedom and independence are not free , there are costs and responsibilities . I think women are just now starting to realize that , and they are not very happy .
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 153
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/14/2014 6:56:34 PM

Seems like the same negativity seen in profile after profile is exhibited out on the street as well . Men learned a very long time ago that freedom and independence are not free , there are costs and responsibilities . I think women are just now starting to realize that , and they are not very happy .


What a shocker. Just like my ex-wife complaining to me about how hard it is now to work and support a family - DUH!!!!! Of course, she still has yet to make the connection that it is the same thing that I was doing for the 16.5 years we were together. LOL
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 154
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/14/2014 7:52:19 PM


I can’t for the life of me imagine why not. Or maybe I can. Are you giving off a “leave me alone” vibe? I was out and about this last Saturday night, at an event for over 50 singles. There were 17 women at this event, and I talked to most of them at some point during the evening. Three of them I “hit on” (asked for their phone number, etc). The ones I didn’t “hit on” were either not attractive to me, or they just plain looked/acted like they weren’t interested in me.


Actually, you are nearly 10 years older than CynthiaSM. And she did say,


In my 50s I, most definitely, am. Except to men 10+ years older or younger.


So it all fits together. You are exactly the age that she expects would hit on her.
 KalGrl
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 157
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/15/2014 10:06:51 AM
Being visible and attractive confident is no guarantee that you will meet age appropriate single men. In general there are less single men than women once you get over 50 now if you want a fling with a married man or a much younger man that's always available.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 158
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/15/2014 4:57:16 PM
^^^^ Why do you think there are less available men over 50??
Now that women take more high stress jobs and responsibility that were more common to men. That narrows the difference in life expectancy.. I could see it when you get to 70 and over but not at 50. In real life the man and woman ratio is about equal, Unless lots of men start to die off. For every woman that is married there is a married man. So there should be just as many men out there at 50 as there are at 40.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 159
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/15/2014 5:07:26 PM
^^^, well, for whatever reason, on dating sites at around age 50 there starts to be more women profiles than male profiles. That doesn't mean that for those who date and don't want to use a dating site there isn't a different dynamic.

One can debate the reasons for this, but it's a fact.

And just because there are equal number of men and women alive doesn't mean men and women over 50 all want to date equally as much. Maybe women remain eager to date longer than men do.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 160
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/15/2014 6:20:48 PM

And just because there are equal number of men and women alive doesn't mean men and women over 50 all want to date equally as much. Maybe women remain eager to date longer than men do.


And I wonder why that would be. I know I have my theory.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 162
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/15/2014 8:09:17 PM

All the variables that makes one "undateable"!


Elaine Benes: "So you're saying that 95% of the population is undateable?

Jerry Seinfeld: "UNDATEABLE !"

Elaine: "Then how are all these people getting together?"

Jerry: "Alcohol".
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 163
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/15/2014 8:12:12 PM
Haha I definitely have a defeatist attitude but not because I am a soccer mom or am obese. Most of the good men are snatched up, married and busy raising kids. Married men looking for affairs, as I have discovered, are a dime a dozen. Healthy, well adjusted single men looking for a monogamous relationship? Needle in a haystack.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 164
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/15/2014 9:27:40 PM

Most of the good men are snatched up, married and busy raising kids.



Married men looking for affairs, as I have discovered, are a dime a dozen.


Are these dime a dozen married men looking for affairs, the same "good men" from the first quote?
Or are you speaking of two separate groups of married men?
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 166
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/16/2014 12:46:28 PM

It's the pervasive bitter attitude I see in the forums that can be the biggest deterrent to having a decent relationship.


Princess, I think the forums are more of super polarized ways of thinking. You have the bitter, the world owes me everything and men or women are horrible and unfair, to those that are super positive and have a great attitude.

Then thing is that horrible things happen to most every person. I was in a horrible relationship with someone that was bipolar and had breast cancer to boot. It scarred me tremendously, but I have to thank that relationship and made me a better person for the new relationships I had after that.

What I believe is that if you believe doors will close around you, they will be closed. But if you believe that doors are always open, and actively seek to open those doors, they will open. Half the battles take place in our heads not in the real world.
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