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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?      Home login  
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 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 177
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?Page 8 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Yeah, I noticed too that the majority of men online want women who are at least one year younger than themselves and rarely anyone their own age or older. I've also ran into, and went on a date once from online, with a guy who said he was younger than me. Turned out he was 10 year older and would not date anyone his own age. He's 56 and has his youngest age at 18. I asked him about this and he said "well, I can always hope."

As far as being invisible at 50...I felt invisible at 40. it's really noticeable.

For me, men are incredibly hard to date, even when I try to do everything right-let them know I am interested, give them space so they dont feel pressure, let them take the lead, or I offer a suggestion-I've tried every combo. Give them my number, etc. I am worn out, and at this point my self confidence is in the toilet. I feel that after 5 years of being friendzoned and told "I can't really see dating you but I'd love to hang out with you" or "you're really funny but...."

I can't deal with it anymore. I just dont want to hear those words again.

I have to face facts, I am not in my prime and men know this. There's little point in trying to engage someone like me in a conversation when there is someone younger and hotter right around the corner-especially in the online world where people are discarded as fast as a hamburger wrapper.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 178
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/28/2014 1:07:49 PM
At age 61 I am currently primarily dating a 42 year old woman. The women I have dated post divorce have mostly run from 10 to 20 years younger than myself. Naturally I have women friends near my own age but I do not view any of them as potential romantic partners.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 179
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/28/2014 2:04:13 PM
Whenever I see posts from women who complain or comment negatively about guys wanting and dating much younger women instead of a woman their own age or older, they never comment on the other half of the equation-women who are willing to date an older guy. I have yet to see a post that puts down or makes negative comments about women who are willing to date guys who are older than the woman.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 180
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/28/2014 2:17:16 PM
While we may not see direct put-downs, many of the younger woman/older guy threads frequently mention that these younger gals are most likely gold-diggers.

Personally, I don't understand why women would want to date a guy significantly older-because the way the stats run, she's very likely to wind up widowed. But maybe that's OK with some gals?
I know, we don't see threads vilifying younger women for dating older guys-but they don't exactly get off scot free, either. Many times it's suggested that the younger woman with the older man is seekng security, or $$$-or that she has "Daddy issues".
Cindy O
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 181
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/28/2014 3:42:57 PM
^^^^

A 40 year old dating a 60 year old does not have 'daddy issues'. They enjoy each other's company.

My guy is 3 years older than I am. I make a point of keeping slim and being his hot babe. I can completely understand why many guys over 50 seek younger women...so many women their own age project an image of a frumpy grandma. They are overweight, dull and boring. I'm a mother, grandmother but, first in life, I am my guy 's girlfriend. I act like his girlfriend. Tonight my daughter and I are hitting the clubs with our guys...out dancing instead of ' having to get to bed' because tomorrow is the day to clean the house. Cripes, it's sad how old some people act old long before they are dead...they might as well be dead.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 5/3/2014
Msg: 182
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/6/2014 8:32:30 AM
Maybe it's true that some guys have younger settings sometimes for what they are looking for, but I constantly hear from those same people who supposedly want someone younger according to their profile preferences.

So I don't get it, in those cases, are those guys only wanting older if they can pick them rather than being "bothered" by a woman in her 40s or above initiating to them?

Why bother having ages listed at all if you're going to write someone who is a full 10 years older than the oldest you say you would accept mail from if they initiated? I don't quite get it.
 NYCKOSI
Joined: 5/19/2014
Msg: 183
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/10/2014 4:59:13 AM
No way, as I got older I found myself to have better luck. What can I say, I look way too good.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 184
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/10/2014 7:31:25 AM

Why bother having ages listed at all if you're going to write someone who is a full 10 years older than the oldest you say you would accept mail from if they initiated? I don't quite get it.


I am older and more mature than you.

Let me explain, people aren't logical nor do they often make sense. If you expect people in general to be consistent, you will be disappointed often.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 185
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/10/2014 7:39:56 AM

The top 20%-25% of the most desirable guys, over 50, easily attract women 10-20 years younger than themselves. So, for them, it works great. The lower 75% are probably split between the guys who will date an older woman and, the guys who are OK with "younger or nothing at all". Oh, and, the complainers. And, the guys who have "checked out".


In essence this is the same sort of debate about dating a 10.

I keep thinking when do I get to cash in on all the younger women or 10s I dated at one time? Can I bank them, can I put their pictures in a book and get something for it?

When I retire, or when I am in a nursing home, or when I die etc, what then is the value in whom I dated at one time?

It seems to me that those that brag about how many 10s / younger women they have dated are also saying no one they dated ever wanted to stay with them very long. Because at some point, nearly every Hugh Hefner wantabe is going to want to have someone with them long term.

IMO it's who stays together through your life that matters, not who might have been able to date.
 Nancer13
Joined: 7/17/2012
Msg: 186
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/10/2014 4:42:37 PM
Just take a few years off... hehehe There was a tv show that actually suggested we do that... Go on the first date, and if you think there might be something,, fess up... if not,, nothing lost.
 mattfoley777
Joined: 5/13/2012
Msg: 187
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/10/2014 7:57:22 PM
I'm over 50 and my last girlfriend was 23. The girl before her was 22. And the girl before her was 24. Yes, I love and adore young girls. But the reality is that I would date any age group if I was attracted to them. Unfortunately the women who are in their 40's and 50's that I've seen here for the most part have let themselves go. Their faces and boobs are sagging, they have a bunch of kids, they work a lot and don't have a lot of time, and they are far more prudish than girls in their 20's.

I'm in athletic shape. I have six-pack abs, lean, and ripped. I have a sex drive that can not be quenched and I'm well-endowed. And I make great money as well. I like young girls because they're sexually liberated, their bodies are in peak condition, their vagina's are tight, they have time for me, and they don't have a bunch of kids. I've seen very few women here on POF who are in their 40's and 50's that can offer all of that.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 188
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/10/2014 8:42:01 PM
Just take a few years off... hehehe There was a tv show that actually suggested we do that... Go on the first date, and if you think there might be something,, fess up... if not,, nothing lost.


Actually quite a bit can be lost, especially a promising potential partner because few men are willing to enter into serious relationships with a woman who lies about a material fact, such as her age. Once a liar, always a liar. What will she lie about next?
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 189
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/11/2014 7:15:15 AM
To the guy above that is "well endowed", etc. in message 289 - It's a good thing you chase the 20-somethings because by the time us women hit our 40's we already have figured out that the "well endowed" are selfish and lazy lovers. It ain't size, it's so much more than that. Maybe that is why you had a 23 year old, a 22 year old and a 24 year old - they try it and don't like it and move on. If you were "all that and a bag of chips", they would stick around for the ride.

Online we get invisible, in real life, not so much.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 190
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/11/2014 7:42:13 AM
l2d, I will agree with you that falsifying age is a dealbreaker.
Now for the gentlemen touating their "success" with dating women hsalf their age, I have a question and I admit that I'm going on common "social standards" rather than what some of us really think.

Given that, by and large, the "gold standard" of romance/pair bonding is STILL the monogamous long-term relationship,rather than a series of short-term relationships, dating associations or FwB involvements, you DO understand that not all that many people are going to be impressed by serial dating involvements? Why aren't these younger women sticking around and signing on for the long haul?
Now, if all you even want of the dating scene is short-term serial dating experiences, then I guess you are doing OK.If you have no wish to forge something more longterm, then you are iindeed doing just fine, I guess. But I did feel it important to mention that we have not yet reached the social standard where short-tem relationships, serial dating, FwBs are given the same level of respect as is given to a publicly acknowledged, committed longterm monogamous relationship.

Bottom line, gents...why aren't these lovely younger women sticking around for the long term? If it is you sending them packing, why is that? Or are you completely disinterested in a longterm romantic partnership?
Cindy O
 JimfromCDGA
Joined: 7/13/2013
Msg: 192
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/12/2014 12:34:24 PM
Nancer13,

an old G/F taught me a trick to find out is some one is lying about their age.

During a conversation face to face, ask them where they went to high school.
When the tell you, you say that you know some one from that school and then ask what year they graduated????

If they give you the deer in the headlight's look/ um um um, they are lying about their age.
I have done it a few times and it's pretty funny to see their mind trying to calculate the answer LOL

Jim
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 193
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/18/2014 4:50:49 AM
Yes we will all become invisible,if you live long enough you will just be another old man or woman,it won't be 90 is the new 70 or dead is the new intensive care or some such other nonsense born out of the fact that people cannot accept reality.....we will be old period.
 alanj805
Joined: 4/16/2014
Msg: 194
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/18/2014 7:52:35 AM
Perhaps it's good that time naturally weeds out those we aren't really interested in. Sexual predators are now targeting younger people or have lost their libidos, and those with losing attitudes have now given up or have found themselves in some kind of pathetic jam. Good riddance.

I'm not quite to my 50s yet, but dating my age I can say the quality of people I'm meeting is better than ever.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 195
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/20/2014 10:41:48 AM
The balance in my bank account is inversely related to my visibility online. Not quite in the red yet but I imagine that will change once I qualify for AARP membership.
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 196
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 8/22/2014 1:05:17 AM
May be....! But not in my real life. I have been hit by most of the men in their 4os and 50s thinking that I am at their age.

Take time off and have another life other than online dating then come back do the fishing in this pond.
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 197
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 9/2/2014 2:06:36 PM
Strings6 wrote:
Yes we will all become invisible,if you live long enough you will just be another old man or woman,it won't be 90 is the new 70 or dead is the new intensive care or some such other nonsense born out of the fact that people cannot accept reality.....we will be old period.


Cracked me up there---'dead' is the 'new intensive care'---

Unless we come back as ghosts or poltergeists or whatever, someday we will all 'be invisible'.

It does not mean that when we are still on this earth, that we are 'invisible' to our own selves, we know we are still alive. Friends and family may be dead or not present to validate our existence, so best to cultivate one's own sense of self for when the inevitable happens---no one there to care, but you.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 198
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 9/2/2014 4:40:12 PM
Anyone up for a game of shuffleboard or lawn bowling?
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 199
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 9/4/2014 12:50:25 AM
Nope. I've been hot property lately. Guys ranging from late 20s to early 50s. I am not complaining.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 200
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 9/5/2014 9:55:39 AM
^^^^^
He's so hot he has no pic. Nuff said
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 201
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 9/5/2014 11:37:02 AM
I encounter so many female profiles which proclaim they don't look their age. They are right. They do not look their age. They look older than their age because in most cases they are older and lying about their age.
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 202
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 9/5/2014 1:58:52 PM
At 60 years old I find the matches my age here to look much older than me. Perhaps they have stated their ages incorrectly for whatever reason. No biggy, I just click next.
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