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 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 201
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?Page 9 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

All the variables that makes one "undateable"!


Elaine Benes: "So you're saying that 95% of the population is undateable?

Jerry Seinfeld: "UNDATEABLE !"

Elaine: "Then how are all these people getting together?"

Jerry: "Alcohol".
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 202
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/15/2014 8:12:12 PM
Haha I definitely have a defeatist attitude but not because I am a soccer mom or am obese. Most of the good men are snatched up, married and busy raising kids. Married men looking for affairs, as I have discovered, are a dime a dozen. Healthy, well adjusted single men looking for a monogamous relationship? Needle in a haystack.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 203
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/15/2014 9:27:40 PM

Most of the good men are snatched up, married and busy raising kids.



Married men looking for affairs, as I have discovered, are a dime a dozen.


Are these dime a dozen married men looking for affairs, the same "good men" from the first quote?
Or are you speaking of two separate groups of married men?
 Princess12524
Joined: 12/23/2013
Msg: 204
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/16/2014 4:06:43 AM
VK, I know from ur previous posts that you live in an area that is not typical, so ur experiences may be atypical. I would say to anyway throw away the laundry list (if u have one), realize we are all human & damaged to some extent, work on yourself & keep on trucking...love will find you!

It's the pervasive bitter attitude I see in the forums that can be the biggest deterrent to having a decent relationship.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 205
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/16/2014 12:46:28 PM

It's the pervasive bitter attitude I see in the forums that can be the biggest deterrent to having a decent relationship.


Princess, I think the forums are more of super polarized ways of thinking. You have the bitter, the world owes me everything and men or women are horrible and unfair, to those that are super positive and have a great attitude.

Then thing is that horrible things happen to most every person. I was in a horrible relationship with someone that was bipolar and had breast cancer to boot. It scarred me tremendously, but I have to thank that relationship and made me a better person for the new relationships I had after that.

What I believe is that if you believe doors will close around you, they will be closed. But if you believe that doors are always open, and actively seek to open those doors, they will open. Half the battles take place in our heads not in the real world.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 206
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/16/2014 1:57:23 PM
FullMoonGuy, thinks for reminding me of the Seinfeld quote. I haven’t run across that one in years, and it is hilarious.



Dragonbits in msg 222:


Actually, you are nearly 10 years older than CynthiaSM.

So it all fits together. You are exactly the age that she expects would hit on her.


What can I say except “Touche!” (smile)



Dragonbits in msg 227:


on dating sites at around age 50 there starts to be more women profiles than male profiles

One can debate the reasons for this, but it's a fact.
….
Maybe women remain eager to date longer than men do.



I don’t really care what the reasons are. All I know is that I am taking advantage of the fact, and loving every minute of it. At the Over 50 Singles meetup I attended last Saturday, there were 17 women and 5 men. Yep, loving every minute of it!
 raggedyanna
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 207
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 4/16/2014 10:50:42 PM
Statistically, women out-live men. So, once we're over 50 the odds are that there are more available women than men. It starts out uneven in the beginning. More females are born than males. Send some to their graves (men) and you have an even greater chance that there will be a larger number of women on any given dating site.

Here's what Wikipedia says:


In a study around 2002, the natural sex ratio at birth was estimated to be close to 1.06 males/female. In most populations, adult males tend to have higher death rates than adult females of the same age (even after allowing for causes specific to females such as death in childbirth), both due to natural causes such as heart attacks and strokes, which account for by far the majority of deaths and also to violent causes, such as homicide and warfare (for example, in the USA as of 2006, an adult non-elderly male is 3 to 6 times more likely to become a victim of a homicide and 2.5 to 3.5 times more likely to die in an accident than a female of the same age), resulting in higher life expectancy of females. Consequently, the sex ratio tends to reduce as age increases, and among the elderly there is usually an excess of females. For example, the male to female ratio falls from 1.05 for the group aged 15 to 65 to 0.70 for the group over 65 in Germany, from 1.00 to 0.72 in the USA, from 1.06 to 0.91 in mainland China and from 1.07 to 1.02 in India.

In the United States, the sex ratios at birth over the period 1970–2002 were 1.05 for the white non-Hispanic population, 1.04 for Mexican Americans, 1.03 for African Americans and Indians, and 1.07 for mothers of Chinese or Filipino ethnicity. Among Western European countries ca. 2001, the ratios ranged from 1.04 in Belgium to 1.07 in Switzerland, Italy, Ireland and Portugal. In the aggregated results of 56 Demographic and Health Surveys in African countries, the ratio is 1.03, though there is also considerable country-to-country variation.

Even in the absence of sex selection practices, a range of "normal" sex ratios at birth of between 103 to 108 boys per 100 girls has been observed in different economically developed countries, and among different ethnic and racial groups within a given country.

In an extensive study, carried out around 2005, of sex ratio at birth in the United States from 1940 over 62 years,[14] statistical evidence suggested the following: For mothers having their first baby, the total sex ratio at birth was 1.06 overall, with some years at 1.07. For mothers having babies after the first, this ratio consistently decreased with each additional baby from 1.06 towards 1.03. The age of the mother affected the ratio: the overall ratio was 1.05 for mothers aged 25 to 35 at the time of birth; while mothers who were below the age of 15 or above 40 had babies with a sex ratio ranging between 0.94 to 1.11, and a total sex ratio of 1.04. This United States study also noted that American mothers of Hawaiian, Filipino, Chinese, Cuban and Japanese ethnicity had the highest sex ratio, with years as high as 1.14 and average sex ratio of 1.07 over the 62 year study period.
 drmnc141
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 208
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 5/13/2014 5:01:40 PM
I am a female over 60,and find that we are very much invisable. Most of the men on here want a woman who has a models looks and figures. Do they not think that women over 60 can make a good wife or girlfriend??After all, looks dont make a good wife either.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 209
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 5/14/2014 8:09:15 AM
^^^Posting a picture with your grandchildren will guarantee you will stay invisible. Are you trying to sell them?
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 210
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 5/14/2014 3:59:27 PM
I didn't read every post on this thread. From reading the many threads on the forums it seems that when we are younger its men who complain but the older we get it shifts to women who complain about how hard it is to meet men.
like a poster above mentioned there are more men when we are younger and more women as we get older.
Basic idea of supply and demand. With good looking people and well to do people moving to the front of the line.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 211
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 5/14/2014 4:19:09 PM
"like a poster above mentioned there are more men when we are younger and more women as we get older." It's not that simplistic, ever, while there may be more women who have a longer lifespan, it doesn't mean that all those women are available to date or to date men (just saying!).

"Basic idea of supply and demand. With good looking people and well to do people moving to the front of the line." Good looking and people who are well to do are never at the front of the line, so to speak for dating. Ever heard of the Millionaire Matchmaker? She's done a thriving business getting dates for both men and women millionaires. Plus the best looking people in any group aren't always those who get asked out first or the most often. It's much more common that the average looking person who has a comfortable (even modest) income would get asked out more often. I'm speaking in generalities, of course. How often have we seen posts from women who are super "hot" that say they rarely get asked out?

There are so many factors, I think the most important element is how a person feels about themselves, because that is what is communicated subliminally to others. Someone who has a healthy self esteem tends to attract more people in every way, not just in a romantic sense. People with a good self esteem are generally happier and a more positive outlook on life than those who don't.

Having said that, I'm not saying age isn't a factor, just that it isn't the determining one IMO. And there are young people who are already soured on life and wouldn't be fun to even be around. If you don't have a pleasant disposition, at the very LEAST, then it'd be rare that people would want to spend time with you socially (meaning when they have a choice). I've met some people who gave me the impression they were invisible to THEMSELVES. That would be a huge barrier to any type of social interaction.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 212
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 5/14/2014 4:43:35 PM
lagoodguy


^^^^ Why do you think there are less available men over 50??
Now that women take more high stress jobs and responsibility that were more common to men. That narrows the difference in life expectancy.. I could see it when you get to 70 and over but not at 50. In real life the man and woman ratio is about equal, Unless lots of men start to die off. For every woman that is married there is a married man. So there should be just as many men out there at 50 as there are at 40.




If you are smart, social and interesting, you are looking for men in your age range. Men who have those attribute are also attractive to women in their 20-40's. That means that a woman in her 50's is competing for a smart , social adept man with women who are far younger. Men will default to younger women.

The man I am currently in a relationship with is 10 years old. When we first connected, he confided that he was confused as to why I would date someone 10 years older and 3,000 miles away! Sigh…..
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 213
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 5/14/2014 5:08:48 PM
"If you are smart, social and interesting, you are looking for men in your age range."

While that may apply in a very general sense, I think many aren't tied into a set age group and are more focused on other factors. There ARE those who purposely seek out either younger or older for their own reasons. Personally, I don't find that the wisest choice. My "age range" is....not young enough that he could be my son or old enough that he could be my father. There's just an "ick" factor that I can't get past, but that's just me.

"Men who have those attribute are also attractive to women in their 20-40's. That means that a woman in her 50's is competing for a smart , social adept man with women who are far younger. Men will default to younger women."

I see where you're coming from, but respectfully I have to disagree. I have consistently (sigh) been persued by younger men because of those attributes, not just online but more often socially or in a face to face situation. I personally am strongly opposed to the idea that I would have to (or would) think I was "competing" for a man's attention. Actually the men who are attracted to younger women JUST because they're younger may contact me, but if I respond (which is rare) I can sniff that out without trying to. Compete with younger women for a man who wants a younger woman? Pfft..no way no how, never. Some think they're clever about it and contact me, but if I think that's what's going on....I just ask. It doesn't mater what they say (or disappear completely) but if they respond, it's always been VERY clear.

If you're smart, social and interesting, to use your attributes, then hey, is that not an attraction factor at any age for either gender, I put a period because it's rhetorical.

flaneur001, it's just conversation and discussion on a topic. I'm glad you've found someone you're happy with and God Bless, I sincerely wish both of you nothing less than the best!
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 214
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 5/15/2014 5:47:04 AM
I've gotten lost re the competing. I compete at games, sports would never think I have to compete for a Man. I didn't realize was a blue ribbon event.
Younger, older if it works for the both of you who cares?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 215
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 5/15/2014 8:20:21 AM


Plus the best looking people in any group aren't always those who get asked out first or the most often. It's much more common that the average looking person who has a comfortable (even modest) income would get asked out more often. I'm speaking in generalities, of course. How often have we seen posts from women who are super "hot" that say they rarely get asked out?

Come now, let’s be serious. Bucsgirl, you’ve been around these forums a long time, you know that’s not really true. The subject has come up countless times, and it always turns out that the “hot” woman is actually receiving dozens of messages every day, but she just doesn’t like the men or the messages.

And anyone who is in doubt should refer back to the famous survey over on the Ok*Cupid blog:


Site-wide, two-thirds of male messages go to the best-looking third of women. So basically, guys are fighting each other 2-for-1 for the absolute best-rated females, while plenty of potentially charming, even cute, girls go unwritten.
The medical term for this is male pattern madness.


For any of you who have not read this blog post over on Ok*Cupid, I highly recommend that you do so. It is eye opening. Another quote:


As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh. On the other hand, when it comes to actual messaging, women shift their expectations only just slightly ahead of the curve, which is a healthier pattern than guys’ pursuing the all-but-unattainable. But with the basic ratings so out-of-whack, the two curves together suggest some strange possibilities for the female thought process, the most salient of which is that the average-looking woman has convinced herself that the vast majority of males aren’t good enough for her, but she then goes right out and messages them anyway.


I cannot post a direct link here (due to censorship), but if you google for “your looks and your inbox” (yes, include the quotes in your search string), this will be the first hit.

 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 216
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/21/2014 11:50:35 PM
Men absolutely default to younger women. This is why I've stopped dating men my age (mid 40's up into 50's) as they are not interested in women their own age. We are considered "old women" at this point, good as a movie buddy or someone to talk to about their exploits chasing younger women, but not as an honest, genuine and valued partner.

There is just no benefit to it, when a guy can find someone younger. I learned long ago that being smart, funny, having a good job and personal accomplishments means *absolutely nothing* if you dont turn him on. And young women are always going to have the advantage.


When I get up the desire to date again, I'm going to be hitting the 60-70 age range-no joke. Altho interestingly it's the one age group that I have had zero vibes from, never, not once. Not sure what is going on there, maybe they are done with women for good-but if I cant get a 75 year old interested in me (Im under 50) it's time to permanently retire from this nonsense.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 217
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/22/2014 6:56:35 AM

We are considered "old women" at this point, good as a movie buddy or someone to talk to about their exploits chasing younger women


What gets me are women who whine about not getting a Mr. Wonderful-My-Age guy, but do nothing about it, and wait for that guy to jump out of her computer screen and magically land on her lap. Even though it's been ingrained in people's minds for the last 10,000 years, that guys are to do all of the chasing and the woman's role is to play hard to get, there's no reason why it should stay that way for another 10,000 years. There's nothing stopping women from pursuing guys they're interested in, no matter what age range. Women would be surprised who would show interest if they were to be more pro-active in dating.

Another thing that might stop middle aged guys from chasing women their age is middle aged women have very high expectations and a long list of requirements from any guy her age-more so than young women. Women expect any guy around 50 to be financially well off with no major debts, owns their own home, no issues concerning ex's and kids or any baggage, must be physically fit, and have a good, secure job-preferably in a high management position-that they've had for the last 25 years and will retire from that company with a good company pension. That's a tall order for a lot of guys to fulfill.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 218
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Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/22/2014 7:24:51 AM

VolcanoKing
I learned long ago that being smart, funny, having a good job and personal accomplishments means *absolutely nothing* if you dont turn him on. And young women are always going to have the advantage.

The key part of this is ”turn him on”. I’m 63 years old, and I get turned on by women of all ages. In the last 5 years, I have dated women as young as 37 and as old as 71. Believe me, I would not have gone there, not for an instant, if they did not “turn me on”, each and every one. I will admit that as women age, fewer and fewer of them are attractive to me (at first glance, strictly going by appearances). And even if they are physically attractive, they still have to pass two other hurdles, mental and emotional. Mental – are you intelligent, are you sane? Emotional – are you truly available, rather than bitter and dejected? Are you friendly, supportive, and willing to “have my back”?

I do believe that women are looking for pretty much the same things as I am. But you have to get by that first hurdle, they have to be attracted to your picture. I cannot believe the number of people I see on here who have bad pictures. They really, really don’t seem to get it.

VolcanoKing
When I get up the desire to date again, I'm going to be hitting the 60-70 age range-no joke. Altho interestingly it's the one age group that I have had zero vibes from, never, not once. Not sure what is going on there, maybe they are done with women for good-but if I cant get a 75 year old interested in me (Im under 50) it's time to permanently retire from this nonsense.

I hope you’re not using this place as an indicator of interest from older men. Remember, no one more than 14 years older can message you here. No one, no matter what. “god” himself has proclaimed it to be so.


skyjumper6319
My feeling is that the ratio of guys to girls on these sites is probably about 7:1. Its s buyer market and the girls are the buyers.

You need to do your homework. Google is your friend, prepare to do a lot of reading. In the youngest age category (early 20’s), men outnumber women by a huge margin, as much as 10 to 1 on some sites. Gradually, with age, the playing field levels out. Just about your age (50), men and women are represented equally on most sites. From there on (50+), the ratio tilts rather quickly to favor the men (more women, fewer men).

Your problem, skyjumper, and I say this with absolutely no ill intent, no desire whatsoever to make you mad or hurt your feelings – your problem is your height. Online, women all go after tall men. Just how it is. You need to get out and meet women in real life. On here, you are automatically excluded just for that one thing, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Except lie, and I would not recommend that.




When I get up the desire to date again, I'm going to be hitting the 60-70 age range-no joke.


If you do that, guys will assume you're looking for someone very wealthy so you can wait around to inherit.

Some men will assume that, some won’t. A young lady (37 years old) contacted me on a different dating site (obviously couldn’t have here), saying that she was “fed up” with the men her age and wanted to try “an older gentleman”. I never once assumed that she was a gold digger, and she and I had a lot of fun together.



 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 219
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/22/2014 8:33:19 AM

In the 9 years I've been divorced and the 2+ yrs I've been 50 (and over), not one single man has approached me in real life. Not one.


ohenryx:I can’t for the life of me imagine why not. Or maybe I can. Are you giving off a “leave me alone” vibe?

As far as I can tell I'm giving off the opposite of “leave me alone” - for example: places like the grocery, or bookstore, or waiting for the bus I will try to make eye contact with men who appear to be around my age (and are not wearing a ring or other indication they're in a relationship). If I'm really attracted to him, then I may find an excuse to start a conversation but I'm actually pretty shy with strangers so I don't do this very often.

Some times I actively look for ways to provide a conversation opener. Like yesterday, the weather was fabulous so I took my toy sailboat on a string (~12” block of wood with a crude plastic sail) down to the marina and was sailing it off the outer pier watching the boats come in for the evening. That thing was like a guy magnet! More men stopped to talk on the dock, or commented as they motored by, than in weeks of everything else I've tried. I think it was the whimsy; these guys were of the age they probably had a similar toy when they were young.


It's the pervasive bitter attitude I see in the forums that can be the biggest deterrent to having a decent relationship.

I'm not bitter; just dejected. It is hard to keep a good attitude when something I want so much seems to be beyond my ability to obtain and I can't figure out why.

P.S. welcome skyjumper
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 220
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/22/2014 8:54:41 AM

The last thing I am interested in "someone's money." That's never been a priority with me. I have my own money, a home and a six figure union job with a pension. The idea for upping the age range was to try to eliminate the thing of me being too old. I hope that someone doesnt misunderstand that. I can always find a man of modest means, so that there is no question I am looking for companionship.

Realistically, I would probably start in the 55-65 range and completely remove myself from anyone my age, and try to land in a range of men who are at least 10 years older and see if that works.

Currently I am *not* online dating which is why my profile is inactive. I am only here for the forums. Online dating didnt work out for me.

I have never whined about anyone "falling into my lap." When I was active dating I was very proactive about contacting and initiating dates. Every date I offered to go dutch. Never anything to do with money or "waiting around" for someone.

It appears that at least in the opinion of many, you are put into one of two categories: You're either bitter, or you are desperate. If you feel dejected and discouraged at all-here's your label-bitter. Making a big effort? Really getting out there? Watch it! Sounds needy and desperate. People tend to take labels to an extreme when you try to explain yourself here.

Most of us are doing the best we can. Most of us could always use some improvement. We're just trying to get by, understand people and understand ourselves in the process.

PS Cynthia, I TOTALLY get what you are saying. I'm not sure why we are "under the raincloud" so to speak. I find it really hard to connect with people at this stage of my life. I never had a problem in my 20's and 30's. Once I emerged again into the dating world at 43 it's been *the* singlemost difficult thing I've ever had to deal with.
 oceanstorms
Joined: 4/10/2014
Msg: 221
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/22/2014 9:58:08 AM
I've been on and off POF for quite a few years and I would say after turning 50 I am receiving WAY less messages than I did in my 40's. I wouldn't say that makes me 'invisible' because I do some lol. However, I've noticed many guys have their age settings so women their own age can not contact them...interesting to see other women experiencing similar things on here.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 222
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/22/2014 10:31:59 AM
Ocean, no, you are in good company. There is a very obvious age bias that just has to be accepted and worked around when you hit a certain age. Even in my early 40's I rarely got any messages (beyond the "hey there" type)-I went out and initiated contact with men and all the dates I had were because I made the effort. So dont feel bad about less messages now..some of us have no idea what "being swamped" means!

A huge percentage of men in my age bracket stop the top range of women's age 5-10 years under their own-which severly hampered my options. I also found ALOT of men lied about their own age, or would perpetually be hanging at 49, stating in their profile they are trying to come up in younger women's search results. I actually went on one date with a guy who was actually ten years older than he stated, (mid 50's) and he was trying to attract college age women, as he later told me. He's 56 now and looking for women as young as 18. I hope he finds what he's looking for. I really liked him.

I'm not interested in men in their 20's or even 30's at this point, so my only option left is to jump into the 60's-70's age range and see if I am young enough for them. At this point, I am not even looking for chemistry or a spark-I've given up on that too, just some good, solid companionship with someone whom I love and who loves me back. Money or not, doesnt matter.

Companionship. Something real. And lasting.

PS Also! You know what-I have found that many women DO want taller men. I read women's profiles and I keep finding that the height of 5' 11' seems to be the minimum...weird! I could care less how tall a man is. I'm looking for love, not height.

So, each sex has it's bias. Nature is telling us to seek something out that ultimately always ties into reproductive success, whether or not we are actually making babies.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 223
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/22/2014 10:54:52 AM

I've been on and off POF for quite a few years and I would say after turning 50 I am receiving WAY less messages than I did in my 40's.

That has been my experience also. In my 40s I received a steady trickle of emails - 1 or so per day (which I considered pretty good). In my 50s it dropped to less than one per week. I'm not "whining" about it - stating my feelings (and that those feelings are occasionally of the dejected type) is hardly wailing and gnashing of teeth. I'm, also, not somehow "blaming" men for this fall off; I'm just stating a fact. Men in my 'age range of interest' are just as entitled to their 'age range of interest' as I am. What I am trying to do is to figure out how to find the right pond and the right lure to improve the odds of mutual attraction.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 224
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/22/2014 11:17:27 AM
I think alot of people are trying to figure out the right pond and lure. I dont think there is any one right answer for everyone. I think some people are just more lucky at love. They have the right combination of elements going for them-timing, attitude, what they want in life, bumping into someone who totally shares the same values and mutual chemistry. Lasting relationships take a special skill set-sacrifice, the ability to negotiate, support, nurture, handle things with maturity and fairness, etc

And you've got to REALLY want it. Bad enough that you dont just sit online screwing around, you're out going to social events, parties, meetups, hiking groups, whatever it is you like to do.

This can up your odds a bit but there's still no set guaranteed success formula. At least it is good practice and healthy to get out and enjoy your life, single or not-enrich it with activities and learning opportunities. Platonic friendships you gain from these too, can be very satisfying.

There's also all kinds of interested variables when it comes to personal success in dating. Ive known a few men who were smokin' hot, broke, musicians (haha of course) and the ladies kept flocking to them. Never without a date, and never with a relationship that lasted. It was woman after woman and always some problem that would crop up, the complaining would start and the woman would be gone. Then, within a few days, the next woman would come along. Just this pattern over and over.

I've had my marriage, and then a 9 year relationship, and now, for the past five years a severe drought. This is where I am now. Maybe not forever, but I need to take a hard look at myself and really ask some tough questions. Am I not doing enough to attract people? Am I giving out closed up vibes? Do I spend too much time pursuing dead ends? I want to pinpoint MY contributions to the current situation, and also I need to know the landscape I am treading. What do men want, at this age? What seems to be the patterns I'm finding. Do I need to open myself up to much older people...I am trying to improve myself, spend less energy on "fantasy relationships" and be more receptive to options I may not have considered before.

Again, no set pond or lure for some of us, it is an ongoing learning experience.
 NoBuddies_Fool
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 225
Over 50...Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 6/22/2014 11:19:57 AM
skyjumper

Well my feelings can't be hurt by something like that because, as you said, there is nothing I can do about it. Still, there are a bunch of girls here, my age, about 5 ft 2 - 5 inches. How much taller do they want a guy to be? *Sigh

You are correct in your assumptions...us short gals....could care less about height....in retrospect, if anything... I am more concerned with someone too tall.
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