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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > The drama never ends, need advice      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 23
The drama never ends, need advicePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
You should get your own insurance like you should have at the time of the divorce.
You signed the guarantor form at the hospital and if it comes down to it, the insurance company will come after the guarantor.
Not the policy holder.

I have to say the ones blaming the ex that was trying to help her and wants him to pay for something she should have been paying for herself for years now. Well it speaks volumes. SMH
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 24
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The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/29/2013 10:21:31 AM
Yes, get legal advice. I don't know about how it works in Alabama, but if anyone's guilty of insurance fraud, it's him. I've never heard of any employer-sponsored health insurance that lets you have someone on your plan that isn't your spouse or your minor children.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 25
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The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/29/2013 10:50:26 AM
Reading this and thinking...Funny how one goes out to hurt an other only to get bitten in the ass!
I do believe he might be the one in a big pile of warm shite.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 26
The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/29/2013 11:52:20 AM
Reading this and thinking...Funny how one goes out to hurt an other only to get bitten in the ass!
I do believe he might be the one in a big pile of warm shite.


You might want to check US law. She has just as much culpabilty in staying on his policy. However SHE is the one that recived the care . She is the one that will be sued by the insurance if it comes to light.

As I said it is sad that this man helped his ex for years and she is so selfish that she would try to make him repay the money she defruded the insurance company out of.

Can you tell me when is she responsible for her own health care?

Again SMH
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 27
The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/29/2013 12:01:33 PM
Look into your divorce agreement, if he suppose to pay for your coverage, it will be his problem to deal with. But you need to get your own. Many divorce that ended up with spousal support along with child support will also included for health insurance.
Also, you can check his insurance policy if you can have accessible to read , which I think it may contained a pertinent information regards your situation.

Good Luck, but take care getting an insurance for yourself first!
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 28
The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/29/2013 1:14:12 PM
How about she just get a job with her own insurance, and pay her own insurance, and not have someone she's no longer married to, having to continue footing the bill for her, There's a concept huh?
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 29
The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/29/2013 1:17:31 PM

Happy_gal2013: I just read you statement above and I know a couple that has been separated for years and her husband still carries insurance through his employer for her.


I highlighted the key word in that, separated != divorced. If a couple is only separated then they are *legally* still married, and most likely keeping her on his insurance would be perfectly fine. The OP did not say they were separated, she said they were divorced, an entirely different story in both the eyes of the law and therefore of the insurance company.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 30
The drama never ends, need advice-an update
Posted: 7/29/2013 2:17:13 PM
bamagrl68- I haven't heard a peep out of him since he threw his little temper tantrum, but I called my lawyer anyway.
He has been paying COBRA for me, which ends in October. Apparently he was being so petty, he didn't want to pay for 2 more months.
I was so glad to be rid of him, I haven't looked at my divorce papers in a long time.
Please spare me the snarky comments that some of you made about him paying my insurance, we were married for 21 years, together 22.
I have sole custody of our children and that was his choice, I offered him more time with them. He CHOSE to have visitation every other weekend and in July.
Do the math, 28 days out of the month, for 11 months, I have them.
All things considered, I don't feel even a little bad he's been paying for my insurance.
Thank you to all of you who were helpful and positive.
I will be obtaining my own insurance asap.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 31
The drama never ends, need advice-an update
Posted: 7/29/2013 3:01:11 PM
Okay first you said.....


After I divorced him, I asked about continuing my health coverage through COBRA. At the time, he said that was too expensive and he would and could keep me on his work insurance.
For reasons way to complicated to get into, he's ticked at me and threatening to both stop my coverage and turn me in for insurance fraud.
What?!


Then you said....

He has been paying COBRA for me, which ends in October. Apparently he was being so petty, he didn't want to pay for 2 more months.


You have to elect to do this and you need to have the conversion paperwork. Something is not adding up here.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 32
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The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/29/2013 4:51:20 PM

How about she just get a job with her own insurance, and pay her own insurance, and not have someone she's no longer married to, having to continue footing the bill for her, There's a concept huh?


a friend of mine who has great insurance (for the US) through her employer has her ex-husband on her policy as part of the divorce agreement. both her state and employer allow this and the agreement is that she will provide his insurance until such time as she switches employers or remarries.

if the plan and the state of residence allow it and it's written into the divorce papers, what's the problem???

everyone seems to be jumping to "insurance fraud"....
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 33
The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/29/2013 5:50:44 PM

a friend of mine who has great insurance (for the US) through her employer has her ex-husband on her policy as part of the divorce agreement. both her state and employer allow this and the agreement is that she will provide his insurance until such time as she switches employers or remarries.

if the plan and the state of residence allow it and it's written into the divorce papers, what's the problem???

everyone seems to be jumping to "insurance fraud"....


I wondered about this, since in Canada you can stay on the ex's insurance until you have your own. I looked it up for the states. COBRA coverage for 36 months, completely legal and he apparently offered to pay for it.

Why is everyone getting in such a snit about this? She did nothing wrong. She was entitled to the COBRA coverage, he offered to pay, she accepted. Reasonable and civil, no fraud, no insurance paybacks and for all you an agreement is agreement people out there, he agreed to pay it!
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 34
The drama never ends, need advice-an update
Posted: 7/29/2013 8:52:54 PM
tsar850- The only language I can speak is English, what else do I need to do to make you comprehend the situation?!
We divorced THREE years ago.
This is not my misunderstanding anymore. I called my attorney. Things have been clarified. Do you need me to write a book to make you get this?!
This was a problem, it's not one now.
I got clarification from an attorney.
There are people here who were neutral WHEN I asked for advice and the NEUTRAL, helpful people who advised me when I needed it I'm grateful for.
Spare me your venom through transference, it's tedious and laughable.
You want to be bitter, be bitter, I'm done with you and other's of your ilk.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 35
The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/29/2013 9:01:14 PM
hamilton12345- Thank you for an accurate, unbiased reply.
From here forward, I think I'll stick to advising rather than asking for advice.
I no longer care to attract the troll patrol, of which you are not a member, regards :)
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 36
The drama never ends, need advice-an update
Posted: 7/29/2013 9:12:50 PM
I date a lady that has been a office manager for over 25 years. I asked her about it and if he put you on COBRA there would have had to been some conversion paperwork sent to the Dr.s that you go to and it would have had to have been done at the time of the conversion.

That is fact no getting around it. Yet you claimed to not know you were on COBRA to start with. That is why i said something is not adding up.

I comprehend it just fine and I have talked to a lady that deals with this on a daily basis and has since it was created. I was neutral I said you should get your own insurance and that if fraud was committed you as the guarantor would be responsible for the care you received.

No venom or bitterness just the truth.
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 37
The drama never ends, need advice-an update
Posted: 7/29/2013 9:20:30 PM

tsar850- The only language I can speak is English, what else do I need to do to make you comprehend the situation?!
We divorced THREE years ago.
This is not my misunderstanding anymore. I called my attorney. Things have been clarified. Do you need me to write a book to make you get this?!


English is my second language but I understood without translation but some.....no matter what so bitter from their past and could not get over have to spit that venom out every opportunity they get. Best is to ignore those trolls.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 38
The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/29/2013 9:45:16 PM
Forums1, I was responding to the article post where it says:




Maintaining health insurance coverage is a major concern for many divorcing couples, and in fact, it’s one of the main reasons why some couples now opt for a legal separation instead of divorce. But, if you do decide to legally separate rather than divorce, please tread carefully. Some health insurance companies view a legal separation as essentially the equivalent of divorce, and so they will not continue coverage for a separated spouse.



As I was trying to point out that I knew a few people that had been separated for a many years and is still being carried on the husbands insurance. So knowing this makes me wonder if this article is 100% accurate...while also divorced. There maybe special situations that may effect the outcome for the OP's possible problem.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 39
The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/31/2013 5:17:57 AM
guarantor.
Not the policy holder.

****************************************
I date a lady that has been a office manager for over 25 years. I asked her about it and if he put you on COBRA there would have had to been some conversion paperwork sent to the Dr.s that you go to and it would have had to have been done at the time of the conversion.

That is fact no getting around it. Yet you claimed to not know you were on COBRA to start with. That is why i said something is not adding up.

I comprehend it just fine and I have talked to a lady that deals with this on a daily basis and has since it was created. I was neutral I said you should get your own insurance and that if fraud was committed you as the guarantor would be responsible for the care you received.


Excuse me I did this for a living...you are throwing out incorrect terminology...
THe GUARANTOR is THE POLICYHOLDER.

She is a "dependent" on the policy, not the "guarantor"...

Many, if not most ins companies allow for a domestic partner to be covered under their plan. For examples people who cohabit, whether straight or gay.

The paperwork would be done b/w the ex hubby, the employer & the ins. co, not the drs. office. Her policy info would be EXACTLY the same, she would retain the same group# plan # etc. The only thing that would change is- in her drs. office she would have to supply them w/ her new address & phone #

99% of claims must be submitted electronically & if all the info is not entered in the correct area of the computer/billing software, the claim will kick back from the electronic clearinghouse who transmits the claim to the ins. carrier

And if u r seperated BUT NOT LEGALLY SEPERATED in most cases u r still covered. Each plan has it's own stipulations.

I think the OP's ex was using her insurance coverage as a way to bully her & waving it over her head. That's emotional abuse.

Good luck OP XoX & best wishes
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 40
The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/31/2013 6:34:11 AM
The point is she would have had to know she was on COBRA her Dr would have told her if nothing else. So the OP saying she wasn't on COBRA was at best suspect.

The Dr checks at each visit to be sure the payments have not lapsed.

As far as guarantor and dependent she would have to sign for each visit/procedure to agree to pay for the care she is receiving. The provider will go after whomever signed the guarantor paperwork not a policy holder, if the insurance defaults for any reason. She is the one that agreed to pay not her ex.

Her ex would have nothing to do with it except he has provided insurance coverage for her. From what she has said it is something he did out of goodwill it was not required in the divorce.
So tell me how is voluntarily paying for her health insurance for three years bullying her?

Reading between the lines he was most likely trying to tell her she was getting to the end of him being able to cover her. So she could get her own insurance. And she didn't like it.....blaming him while coming here for a pity party.

As she said she called her lawyer and he/she set her straight and she will be buying her own health insurance as soon as the COBRA her ex has provided for three years run out.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 41
The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/31/2013 6:41:24 AM

The point is she would have had to know she was on COBRA her Dr would have told her if nothing else. So the OP saying she wasn't on COBRA was at best suspect.

The Dr checks at each visit to be sure the payments have not lapsed.

As far as guarantor and dependent she would have to sign for each visit/procedure to agree to pay for the care she is receiving. The provider will go after whomever signed the guarantor paperwork not a policy holder, if the insurance defaults for any reason. She is the one that agreed to pay not her ex.

Her ex would have nothing to do with it except he has provided insurance coverage for her. From what she has said it is something he did out of goodwill it was not required in the divorce.
So tell me how is voluntarily paying for her health insurance for three years bullying her?
Please do not believe erroneous info regarding insurance from someone NOT in the field.
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 42
The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 8/5/2013 11:00:13 PM

The point is she would have had to know she was on COBRA her Dr would have told her if nothing else. So the OP saying she wasn't on COBRA was at best suspect.


If she have known this fact, why is the OP asking for opinion from strangers!

Her ex must be a control freak and not share what is pertinent in handling everyday necessities if one of them dropped dead during the marriage. In fairness, may be he have shared the info but being a mother taking care of children, self, and work some time the info given may not stick in the head.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 43
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History
The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 8/6/2013 7:24:44 AM
They will go after him. Legally you are probably complicit in that it is my experience that ignorance of the law is not an "excuse" or proper defense for breaking it but rather mitigating circumstances.

He won't call. He's yanking your chain and unless he is stupid beyond belief he will recognize that the person getting into trouble about the whole thing will be him.

Realistically unless you want to start saving in the event he won't pay any monies owed, there isn't anything else I'd bother to do except perhaps shop for insurance.

Unless his company has made a change, he's better off keeping his mouth shut.
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