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 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 33
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Did this first date go okay?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
"He said he wasn't tired, but then said it was past his bed time"

Honestly, I think the guy was staring at you to see if you were getting all worked up over him as he was with you. I think he figured out that you just weren't going to jump in the sac with him. ".....past his bed time" lie was just a read between lines comment... to say he wasn't tired, staring at you, and sayng it was past his bed time, tells me he's creepy and was looking for sex.

I wouldn't want that man to ever call me again. He sounds creepy, and I think you are better off without him!

Just my opinion.
Jan
 sexandthepof
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 34
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Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/5/2013 3:20:53 PM
IMO, this first date did not seem going okay for a few reasons:

1. The date seemed too long for the first time. The guy might have felt tired, but he did not want to tell
2. The guy paid $100.00 for the first date. That’s quite a bit for someone to pay on the first date for someone that he sees the first time. It should be shared equally. This is 21st century
3. Most guys want to be in control, so do many girls/women nowadays, but in this case, you seemed a bit too pushy, the guy had learned much about you from the first date, and he might be polite and not interested

Oh well, only one first date anyway. As you said: “any feedback is good feedback”, so I would say: slow down, take it easy, be patient. Time will tell.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 35
Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/5/2013 3:40:43 PM
BelleT, those are not dating blunders... particularly number 2 (number 1 you did jump the gun a little).... that's just being helpful, which the best women are.

Thanks, but both resulted in no second date.
I think I ruined another date because I got him addicted to macaroons...lol...so much we went back there the next day and I bought him a box for himself, he was insulted that I paid. Sometimes nothing you do one way or the other works.

Try locking you wallet and keys in the car when you get to a first meet... or sending a woman to meet you at a closed restaurant. lol

Oh man! That's just bad luck, not you making a mistake. The closed restaurant thing? I did the same thing during a relationship, looked like a fool but he knew of another place around there, and we went there instead.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 36
Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/5/2013 4:27:56 PM

I don't see a problem. If you'd have got me hooked on macaroons, I would definitely have wanted to see you again :)

In all seriousness, stuff like that would stick out in my mind and it would go down in my memory as a pleasant date. I doubt it harmed your prospects of seeing him again .


That's what I thought would happen but I never heard from him again. I even gifted him a subscription to Time Out NY Magazine. I cancelled it after a month, I was not going to let him receive something of me that would allow him to get ideas for dates, if its not me he's dating...lol...we can be evil when we want to.
 I_saw_a_squirell_once
Joined: 3/3/2012
Msg: 37
Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/5/2013 6:12:31 PM
Absolutely not. But some of these people's advise I don't find relevant to what happened toy date. ESP the whole I threw myself on him, apparently got wasted when I didn't, and that I made him stay longer than he wanted. I didn't choose the location of the date he did. We had drinks there was an hour wait for our turn to play so yes the date may have been long. But I don't think I've ever had a date that was shorter than an hour. So now it's just a waiting game. I definitely take good advise, but the over exaggerated ones I'm ignoring.


This is the internet, what do you expect? In all seriousness, all you can do is wait and see what he does. You sent your post date text already so the ball is in his court. With that being said, I don't think you necessarily "dragged" the date out in the sense that it isn't abnormal to have a date that lasts for hours. Mine always end up starting around dinner and going way into the night so I wouldn't put a lot of stock in the whole "first meets should only be 45 minutes" way of thinking.
 JKURB
Joined: 8/28/2012
Msg: 38
Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/5/2013 6:37:27 PM

...to say he wasn't tired, staring at you, and sayng it was past his bed time, tells me he's creepy and was looking for sex.

I wouldn't want that man to ever call me again. He sounds creepy, and I think you are better off without him!


LOL! This is why I read these topics.
 TheFuryan
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 39
Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/5/2013 8:28:28 PM

LOL! This is why I read these topics.


I almost spit my water out when I read that reply the first time. I agree, replies like that one are one of the few reasons why I still hang around POF.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 40
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Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/5/2013 9:50:16 PM
I think dude has a girl at home...
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 41
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Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/6/2013 8:47:31 AM
STOP MAKING STUFF UP

oh come now, 3ffiie. don't you know that whenever an interaction with a man leaves a woman surprised, confused or unhappy, it's because he's a 'player' and only wants sex? where have you been?
 brwneyedwhit
Joined: 4/11/2013
Msg: 42
Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/6/2013 9:27:03 AM
No response yet. But I haven't contacted him since he said thank had a great time too hope you have a good day text. He hasn't either I'm going to give it til Thursday... And see what happens
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 43
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Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/6/2013 9:43:34 AM

Why?


"I have to go" but not tired, just past my bedtime.

I don't know of too many guys who are getting "touchy" with a lady wanting to leave if they are not tired. It's almost like they realize its getting serious and anything further would really be cheating...it's all fun, casual and friends up until that point.
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 44
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Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/6/2013 9:47:06 AM

Are all anxious girls easy?
hmmm, I would have thought it the opposite...


Aw Damn...your'e onto us.
Yes. We take girls to stimulant shops because we know gittery girls are really easy. That why coffee is the first suggestion...if you...know what I mean...O.o
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 45
Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/6/2013 2:22:34 PM

But I haven't contacted him since he said thank had a great time too hope you have a good day text. He hasn't either I'm going to give it til Thursday... And see what happens

Who left the last text? Ball's in the other person's court, in most cases. If he left the last one, it's up to you to initiate the next one relatively soon.

So if your texts were late Sat night after the date, you should have sent one Monday evening, 48 hours later. Waiting until Thursday? Why? You're showing that you're not that interested in him by doing so, if he was the one who left the last text or VM.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 46
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Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/6/2013 2:54:51 PM
Date didn't seem bad... but to be honest I don't know what t o expect. By texting him . .you let him know you are interested. His return text......if he is a confident guy should have mentioned about seeing you again or even mention calling you to set another date.If he decides to text again after waiting days..you should wonder if he following the BS 3-4 day rules or something like that. Contacting you by Wednesday is the norm if he wants to arrange a date this week.
Good luck!
 brwneyedwhit
Joined: 4/11/2013
Msg: 47
Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/7/2013 3:48:55 AM
Hey guys so just kind of an update. Yeah, I don't think he's interested :/. I mean we texted a little bit yesterday; yes I started the conversation, but he was the last one to text so I suppose technically it was my turn. Was just like Hey, how was your day hopefully not to stressful. It was like hey, yeah it was pretty busy but went by fast, how was your day. Told him about mine. And then I just kind of asked if he was interested....and he didn't respond. So either he fell asleep, or he just isn't interested.

Live in learn. I let the nerves get the best of me on this one.

Thanks for everyone's input really appreciate it :)
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 48
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Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/7/2013 3:39:53 PM
Your pushiness sounds annoying and would be red flags to me, as those things start to get worse, not better, as time goes on. He's not interested and just went along with what you did (kiss, etc.) to be polite, if he was, he'd set up a date and be done with it.

In the future, take things easier, don't worry so much, don't put any import on early dates. When you meet a new woman that seems cool enough to be friends with, do you go this crazy over it? That's the exact same way you should feel about meeting a new guy.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 49
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Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/7/2013 4:26:05 PM
For whatever reason, he's done.
 ImNotForYou
Joined: 4/28/2013
Msg: 50
Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/8/2013 11:58:12 PM
OP you have been confrontational with every post that says anything you don't like. The tone of your replies is extremely sarcastic and if this is the way you behaved with your date I can fully understand why you are so confused.

Sounds like you handled your entire date in a sarcastic manner, replying as such to any gesture or comment from him that you didn't like. He was probably exhausted after riding that roller coaster all night and just wanted it to end as peacefully as possible and drift off into the sunset hoping to never have to deal with that again. In order to accomplish that, he must have figured out quite quickly to just placate you until he could remove himself from your grasp.
 80sBaaaybeee
Joined: 3/16/2012
Msg: 51
Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/12/2013 1:42:00 PM
He was being polite, but he's not really interested. Cut your losses. It was just a date.

And in the future, wait for the guy to kiss you. Then you'll at least know if he's attracted. If he doesn't, chances are really good that he's not interested. The thank you text really didn't do much but tell him you were interested and chase him some more.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 52
Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/12/2013 2:23:30 PM
Wow.. interpretation is definitely different based on the eye of the beholder...

some of the replies had me choking, some spewing, some going WTF...

though I get why each person saw what they did.

On the OT, my particular opinion is he was well, interested but maybe not necessarily in starting a romance as much as he was interested in the date being extended rather than followed by a second; and when she did not respond in a flirty way to his not being tired but it being bedtime comment, he thought he was being blown off, so he hugged but with full body and no kiss; and waited to be asked to be kissed.

So i don't know if her mixed messages caused his thing or if his thing caused her mixed messages (and note on the omen seeing this being equated to all women thinking all guys are players and hating sex... definitely not the case. A lot more like it a whole lot more than let on; but it is the how the where and the with who that matters. It is not a trophy thing; it's a passion release that with some emotional doesn't matter, with some it does a whole lot; with some it needs to be monogamous; with others it is common after the tail end of a kiss on any date regardless of how many dates in a week. But dealbreaker in relationship is not a person who wants sex ultimately; it's someone who doesn't. Who wants a cold fish? Life is meant to be lived with passion; and physical passion is a huge part of that. Who wants a sterile cold no touch relationship? But a player is a person who says they want a relationship so they can have sex, who have no intention of having a relationship and who hit the road the second the date is over (not those who had a misconnect during sex; but those who lie for sex with no intention of any followup date); only seeing how many idiots they can have sex with and blow off after and get away with it. Not saying everyone who has sex is an idiot; and not saying everyone who rethinks a relationship after first sex is by default a player. Not even saying those who have frequent sex are players; because if a person is open about being open about it (either gender) they aren't a player. They are just open about their approach to multi person sex. Saying the people who are ACTUAL players are people who lie for sex with no intention of followup. Only problem is, other people get tarred with that brush who disconnect for other reasons, which isn't really fair.Wow that was a LONG paragraph... sheesh.

Back on topic... OP, you do sound like you were a little confused, and it is understandable. You sent your text, he responded. Leave the ball in his court and find out if any of the other people out there you maybe would like if you were not focusing on mr golfer. You might be surprised; and you may still hear from him.

But if you don't, no worries, you had a fun evening, a good hug, a good kiss, and have a little more experience in dating under your belt for next time.

It's all good. And you both said you had fun so even better :)

Good luck
 HappyGuyNJ
Joined: 7/4/2013
Msg: 53
Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/12/2013 9:58:50 PM

hey, thanks for a good time last night! I hope you have a relaxing Sunday

and

Thanks, I had a good time too. Hope you have a great rest of the day

Sound identical to me. If you're worried that his comment indicates a lack of interest on his part, then you surely your comment could be taken as a lack of interest on your part.

If you want to see him again, then ask him out. It's really that simple.
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