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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How can I start to trust women again?      Home login  
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 MsMaggieMay
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 51
How can I start to trust women again?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Most women can't be trusted.

My you are one cheery fellow. What joy it must be to be around you.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 52
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How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 8/16/2013 1:13:39 PM
If you are looking to fix her, you can claim to be too busy fixing her and not fix have to look at fixing yourself.

You seem to have been avoiding your own growth as a man and blaming women. Stop it and take a good look at yourself, your real intentions of being in a relationship and why you are even putting relationships as a priority at this time of your life.

Trusting women is not really the issue, the issue is you do not trust your motivation for being in a relationship... and you shouldn't. You are not mature yet.

You have to be a mature person to have an equal, satisfying relationship with another. Work on YOURSELF to become mature and when you are, you will pick mature women who are healthy for you and you for them.

Your expectations of relationships and women your age are too high as well at this time. You and they are still young and make too many hormone related mistakes.

A mature person looks after his own gig and is attracted to partners who they trust to look after their own, only then are they are they ready to become a team.

Are you avoiding looking at your own gig?

It's NOT really easier than looking after your own.

Don't be afraid to and blame others please.
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 53
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How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 8/17/2013 6:46:59 PM
If you keep picking damaged/need to be rescued types, you will never be able to trust them, start taking responsibility for your choices in partners and make some changes, fix yourself first then you will be ready for a relationship with a woman who has her life together, then you can start to build trust over time as you get to know each other.
 SuperSaiyanGoku
Joined: 3/18/2013
Msg: 54
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 8/17/2013 7:56:33 PM
Most women can't be trusted. Trust is built on logic -- if I treat this person nice, they will like me and trust me; if they say I can trust them, they are surely telling the truth. Most women have no concept of logic. That's why they are so often with men they hate.


LMAO! I was recently having a conversation with a good friend of mine about this same topic. For the most part, what you said holds true. Her and I agreed that for MOST women, hell most HUMANS, emotions win over logic every single time. Only those people whose minds are stronger enough, conscious enough, and not self deceiving can really place logic over emotions. She's always telling me stories about women who allow their own mind to deceive them and succumb to emotions over logic.

Most people are so full of it and don't REALLY know who they are. There are very few PEOPLE who can really be trusted at the end of the day. Once you have a true understand and knowledge of human nature, you'll understand why that's true. Modern day society tries to dress up and discount what Socrates and Thomas Hobbes have always said. People are driven by internal selfishness. Knowing that, how could you ever trust any human? I know mankind's true colors. Say what you want, but I know who you REALLY are. William Golding's Lord of the Flies says it best. Humans are savage in nature.

So Howdy, change your opening from most women to most people and I agree 100%.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 55
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 8/17/2013 8:11:04 PM
The real issue isn't learning to trust women, it's learning to trust yourself to make the right decision about women!!!
Like seriously dude... you've already pinpointed how you behave and what types of girls that don't work so you know this.
Yet your big mouth opens up and says "OK!" and your****follows the wrong girl
You will NEVER learn to trust women as long as you keep making bad decisions. It's YOU, not them.
You know the answers, now trust yourself to stick to them and weed the wrong girls out.
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 56
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 8/18/2013 4:01:25 PM
you don't learn to trust women, you learn to trust yourself.
i'm sure there were warning signs.
take some time, and really observe the animal you are wanting to deal with, which is a woman.

women are selling what makes them happy, and expecting you to buy into that horseschit.

think on what makes you happy, and look for a woman that's willing to buy into that.

and trust your feelings, your gut, they are real... even if that bixch next to you is saying otherwise.
 NotGorshkovAgain
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 57
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How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 9/14/2013 6:50:15 AM
You go out with a girl, she betrays you, and you discover you can't trust her.
It's her fault.

You go out with a girl, she betrays you, and you discover you can't trust her.
It's her fault.

You go out with a girl, she betrays you, and you discover you can't trust her.
It's her ........... Now wait a minute.

Beginning to see a pattern here? Maybe it's just me, but it's starting to look like the problem is the TYPE OF WOMAN YOU GO OUT WITH.

Sit back, and take a long, hard look at the girl's you've dated. See if you can figure out what personality traits they have in common that could have/should have been warning signs. AND DON'T DATE ANY OTHER WOMEN WITH THOSE TRAITS.
 sxymiss32
Joined: 8/17/2013
Msg: 58
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 9/14/2013 7:58:12 AM
"Most women can't be trusted. Trust is built on logic -- if I treat this person nice, they will like me and trust me; if they say I can trust them, they are surely telling the truth. Most women have no concept of logic. That's why they are so often with men they hate".

"I just don't trust any of them". "I automatically assume they're cheaters".

^^ good heavens more sweeping false generalizations about all women from "men". It's the male superior BS again LOL! Barf!

OP, so you are saying that you are a total angel who did zippo wrong in the relationship. I say FALSE! It takes two to tango.

You might want to get some therapy before you date another woman. You have some issues within yourself (not caused by women) that you need to resolve.

Any man who makes nonsense inaccurate assumptions about women needs a good shrink.
 actualizing
Joined: 9/3/2013
Msg: 59
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 9/14/2013 4:44:49 PM
You trust in women by first trusting in yourself, otherwise it will not happen. Once you trust yourself you will develop confidence in your choices. And so it shall be. :)
 noXchNoRtn
Joined: 3/15/2013
Msg: 60
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 9/14/2013 5:40:34 PM
Dubya once famously said "Fool me once, shame, shame on you..... It fooled me you can't get fooled again."

Basically it is this - trust until you don't.
 elmuchoburrito
Joined: 8/27/2013
Msg: 61
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 9/15/2013 10:38:03 AM
Trust is a grey mutation of lies - while you are in 'love' you will believe or ignore the lies
once she is on the curb - you will see the lies, games, and drama as it was without the filters.
cheer up - they will say the same shiate about you on your way out.

get a dog
get a jeep
get a bike
move along.
repeat.

want to know if she is lying.... if you are asking the question - then you already should know she is.
look and you will find
hell - often, you don't even have to look very hard at all.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 62
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 9/15/2013 10:50:28 AM

You trust in women by first trusting in yourself, otherwise it will not happen. Once you trust yourself you will develop confidence in your choices. And so it shall be. :)


This is the worst advice I have ever heard. I have always trusted myself and my choices. That in no way affects the people that set out to lie to you. My last ex bragged about her ability to be a great actress. She was very proud of being able to fool not only me but her first husband as well.

So you can trust someone that is nothing but a liar. Doing so says more about the person that lied and fooled you than the one that trusted them.

What I have learned is trust is earned from day to day. Never allow yourself to blindly trust or you may just find yourself the victim of a liar.
 or_current_resident
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 63
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 9/15/2013 3:01:45 PM

Never allow yourself to blindly trust or you may just find yourself the victim of a liar.


And Comrade, never fall in love first,till you can think ,& can see clearly beyond the first few acts....

Think of it like love & dating insurance......^^^^^^^

As in all the real deals out there, they will have the same insurance as you. Trust & honesty in each other when on the same level. ok

And don't leave home without it.... ^^^^^^good luck
 elmuchoburrito
Joined: 8/27/2013
Msg: 64
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 9/16/2013 7:14:32 PM
There are 16 different triggers, triplines and enticements that will break loyalty, fidelity, and personal integrity; once you know them - it is only a matter of degree to which and when a person will break.
and they all do - eventually.
(of course one of the last trip wires is terminal - but it is in the deck of cards when broaching the enhanced venues of character interrogation)

Lies and Liars - expect them ; and you will rarely be surprised.
 mikecheck44
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 65
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 9/16/2013 7:30:51 PM
I can think of ideas where you can learn to have faith in yourself and trust yourself again. For the social aspect, you need to live life and it will involve meeting new friends and not looking to date anyone. For your own spare time, you can do the following and some can lead to meeting new people.

Give up the alcohol
Enlighten yourself (spiritually if possible), this does help your mood tremendously
If you are open to enlightenment, Church on Sunday can help as well. I've had non-believers tell me they felt good about going.
Go to the gym
Take a yoga class
Give up any bad vices and understand why you started them to begin with.
Write in a jounral/write a book (in my case, this is my salvation)
Read some books (anything that interests you- fiction, self-help, topics of interests, etc).

All this can be done on your own time and can definitely help you figure yourself out and what you need. Some of these activities will also help show improvement in how your body handles stress.
 ForumFiona
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 66
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 9/16/2013 10:07:06 PM

...take some time, and really observe the animal you are wanting to deal with, which is a woman.

women are selling what makes them happy, and expecting you to buy into that horseschit.

think on what makes you happy, and look for a woman that's willing to buy into that.

and trust your feelings, your gut, they are real... even if that bixch next to you is saying otherwise. (the_biggavell)


Oh I see: Whatever her ambitions, dreams, career, etc. is all horsesh1t according to you and she has abandon them for your ambitions, dreams, career, etc. and make those her main focus in life (and attach herself to your leg to most likely to make you happy) and for What and why? Because she is a fake otherwise?
Somehow I see the word boundaries (and probably lots of other issues) that do not resonate well with you. Well: you can't control everything and you will be happier in the long run if you don't try to either.
 Ratsrule
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 67
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How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 9/20/2013 11:16:38 AM
OP - i have recently been doing some similar thinking about my 'pattern' with the men i choose and why my relationships have not worked so far.

I came to the conclusion that because of a big heartbreak in my past, i was subconsiously choosing the wrong guys, because i was afraid to choose someone i could really fall for, allow myself to trust and truly invest in. In my case when the guy i wholeheartedly believe was the one, and gave my all to, told me he didn't love me enough to marry me, I then started dating younger men, none of who were in that space... and none of who i relied on. Like you, i was the adult, i looked after them, led them, and essentially never allowed myself to need them at all.

You need to look at what has sparked this, really think about WHY you are choosing these women. List down the things you that made you not trust them, and think about why you choose to put up with those behaviours. do you feel deep down that you need to stay in these relationships because you are not worth more? because ultimately, we choose to stay in these relationships and that is what hurts us more long term.

From my analysis i determined. no one younger than me. No matter how mature they might think they are, they will not want what i want in the timescales i want them. And that being alone is far better than being with someone not right, every second you spend with soemone not right is a second wasted that you could be looking for your ultimate match. Alone is not terrifying or bad. Concentrate on YOU, on making sure that you are happy confident and love yourself. it's much easier to see when someone does not value you, when you know what you are worth.

and finally, keep that list of bad signs that you have seen in your past relationships, the signals if you like, and if you see any of them come up when you are dating someone, exit swiftly.

You will find someone you can trust, only when you trust yourself enough to know that you CAN identify them
 GulfCoast55
Joined: 6/20/2013
Msg: 68
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 9/20/2013 12:02:05 PM
Women are the most wonderful creatures on the planet, true there’s some that are evil to the core but the majority are well just women. Trust is the brother to respect, to get either you have to give also. I find it easy to trust anyone I don’t already know until they give me a reason not to or that gut voice I listen too speaks up. Once trust like respect is broken it’s never has the security it did in the beginning
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 69
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 5/10/2015 5:43:58 AM
God this kind of stuff is really hard to deal with, both for the person suffering from trust issues and women who may be interested in you. I like a man who is very smart and also extremely gorgeous but he has virtually driven himself insane. It's unbelievably sad and I can't really do anything to help but I wish I could.

I'd suggest you get help from a psychologist
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 70
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How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 5/10/2015 6:44:10 PM

howdy_from_harry wrote:

Most women can't be trusted. Trust is built on logic -- if I treat this person nice, they will like me and trust me; if they say I can trust them, they are surely telling the truth. Most women have no concept of logic. That's why they are so often with men they hate.


Actually, I find that it is not necessarily lack of logic, but rather enslavement to Oxytocin. It's a naturally occurring drug that turns adult women into 4 year olds when it comes to bad boys.
 clemtuckerofcourse
Joined: 5/7/2015
Msg: 71
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 5/11/2015 2:23:40 PM
Never completely Trust a Woman.

"Woman was God's second mistake"
Friedrich Nietzsche
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 72
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How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 5/11/2015 3:12:56 PM
Sometimes you just have to shake your head at the ridiculous patterns people have and try so hard to blame on someone else. A whole gender done you wrong. It's all about them. You had no choice, they fooled you again... it must be sometime to be able to live in that kind of denial.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 73
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 5/11/2015 3:18:18 PM
You're funny Mr. Clem......

I kinda think we were the improvement! :)

I'm just teasing....I think men and women compliment each other perfectly.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 74
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 5/11/2015 4:04:52 PM
ImNotForYou- (post #27) DING, DING, this advice takes it!
Op, this is spot on, THE best advice given to you so far.
The problem isn't that there aren't any trustworthy women, the problem is that you are going after types that can't be trusted.
You have to figure out why you are doing that and STOP doing it!
Hint:Boundaries and GOOD judgement go a long ways ;)
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 75
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How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 5/11/2015 4:15:36 PM

The problem isn't that there aren't any trustworthy women, the problem is that you are going after types that can't be trusted.


Oh. Like some of us can play pick and choose?
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