Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Avoiding ex      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 39
Avoiding exPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

If you are not over your ex than why are you looking for a relationship?

Ummm-because she CAN?
She may have listed herself as "looking for a relationship" because that is her end goal. That doesn't mean she has to hide in her house for 2 or 3 years in case she might not be over her ex.
For some people, getting out and dating is part of the healing process. That can be a good thing OR a bad thing, depending on the mindset of the person needing to heal.
I'm not sure that I agree with the OPs reaction that she wants to give this event a miss because her ex might be there, it sounds like she might be passing up an oportunity for a good time, but then I'm not in her shoes and I don't know the details of the break-up.
But she can certainly get out and date,and if she chooses to list a relationship as her dating goal here,perhaps she's trying to avoid the swingin' d*cks that think "dating", "friends" or "hang out" means a one night game of "hide the salami."
Cindy O
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Avoiding ex
Posted: 8/14/2013 12:33:51 AM
Hoo, boy. Talking 'bout bad luck stalking you. you keep leaving and avoiding, and no use, a new peril rears its hideous rear.
I have no idea what you just said and since this thread is not about me I really don’t care to know but I noticed you avoided putting up a picture of yourself. Hiding much? Hit a nerve there?

-but, she misses out on seeing the band that she wanted to see prior to knowing that he "may" be there...
Well... that’s why I said “You taking care of yourself by avoiding your ex does not have an impact on anyone's life except yours alone.” At the end of the day she is responsible for the decisions she makes or would you rather take on that responsibility for her?
Not running in to him or even the chance of running into him was more important to her than seeing the band. Her decision impacts her. Not me or anyone in this thread. If anyone would like to know how it has impacted her they can ask OP and maybe she will share.


Why does that mean she should miss out on having fun?
Well, my wild guess is that she would not have much fun being around him. If she could enjoy the band with him being there don’t you think she would? She is entitled to feeling whatever she feels whenever where ever and for whatever reason.




Missing out on something you want to do because you may run into someone you dated for awhile is juvenile. A grownup would continue on with life. Why miss out on living because of something so silly?
Judging and a ridiculing a complete stranger without knowing any details about her, him and the relationship is extremely mature. Nice. Some people move on by cutting all ties. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to see your ex. She is not hurting anyone or has not stopped living her life.
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 41
Avoiding ex
Posted: 8/14/2013 8:00:20 AM
I think you should go. Get it behind you - at some point you'll smack into him, once you get over the hurdle then you can move on. Unpleasant - maybe. Getting over the upset stomach at the thought of seeing him - worth it.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 42
Avoiding ex
Posted: 8/17/2013 4:10:46 AM
personally.. i still wish to avoid all exes.. a party is not fun with baggage hanging around.

My last ex seems to show up at the same events i do.. and i hate it!

but.. no.. i do not make plans to avoid him... I just wish he would drop off the face of the earth.. :))
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Avoiding ex