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 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 21
He says exclusive but can't give up dating or even the baby mamaPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
You say that like those are phases that are not commonly spoken by women who are in a relationship when everything is going just peachy. I think many men who are have been in a relationship where their desire for sex is significantly more frequent than their partners have gotten so used to hearing those words they hardly give an impression that something is wrong.

It is not common to me. If everything is peachy, why is there an issue in the sex department?
 GenJayne
Joined: 5/13/2013
Msg: 23
He says exclusive but can't give up dating or even the baby mama
Posted: 8/17/2013 6:21:18 AM
To be blunt: He wants you to be exclusive and he wants to get his dyck wet with whomever else he desires.
To coin a phrase: He wants his cake and eats it too.
Why does he do it? Bottom line: Because you, OP, allow it.
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 24
He says exclusive but can't give up dating or even the baby mama
Posted: 8/17/2013 6:35:54 AM
He does because he can, it works, and he'll get away with it because a lot of women will let him.
It's that simple!
 Cheating_at_solitaire
Joined: 7/30/2013
Msg: 25
He says exclusive but can't give up dating or even the baby mama
Posted: 8/17/2013 7:21:23 AM
Some people won't commit in whole because they can have the pick of the litter, so why settle for one when they can have many. This seems like the case with your situation. He's got the baby mamma, other willing daters, and you in his back pockets. People like this tend to be very selfish in satisfying their needs while leaving a trail of emotional flames behind them.

I see this all the time; people staying together and giving chance after chance when it is clear that the person possesses bright red flags that says no, not a good choice. So the real question is, is why do people tend to stay with and put up with such drama and baggage when the writing is clearly on the wall?
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 26
He says exclusive but can't give up dating or even the baby mama
Posted: 8/17/2013 7:56:09 AM
Such people date others as a distraction from their complicated yet otherwise established life. They really have no ambition beyond casual dating, which most women feel means just sex, so he lists no players or serial daters to seem genuine & sincere. Good to trust your instincts when it comes to feeling out others intentions when it comes to dating.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 27
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He says exclusive but can't give up dating or even the baby mama
Posted: 8/17/2013 8:02:10 AM
Dated on and off but he would always cause some weird drama and then blame me. When I would try to discuss it, he would turn it around and make it my fault every time.

Control and manipulation. Players, abusers do this to keep you off emotional balance. If they have you going backwards in your head then you don't think about what their doing.


Then recently, I discovered that he is still in a relationship with his baby mama (they have adult children together so this is a 20+ year relationship!).

Why are with a guy that Proves he's a liar and a cheater? Your just dating him. Get out now. Learn the game!


The big question is: WHY do people do this sort of thing? What makes a man (or even a woman) say they want an exclusive relationship but do the complete opposite while they are practically still living part-time with their baby mama AND dating other people while lying their @ss off about it?


Do you really think he'd get laid if he was honest? Men (and women for that matter) can be players at any age. Again this relates to my comment above. A player knows how to work a woman's insecurities and her desires. He sells you a dream, your dream! For sale to all women who'd rather live in the clouds than see through the game. All he really wants is his cake and eat it too. Your dreams aren't for sale!
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