Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriend      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 20
view profile
History
my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriendPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
You told her exactly how you feel and she turned you down. The rumors and gossip are being spread by you.

Poaching another guy's GF never ends well, not only that but if you ever get the girl won't you constantly worry about her finding a new male best friend?
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 21
my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriend
Posted: 8/23/2013 7:42:48 AM
For starters, she is not your friend. She uses you as an emotional back up. These are the type of women that are so insecure that they have to have some sort of fall guy even when they are still in a relationship. Cut her off. All she is going to do is keep you at the edge of that drama, creating more drama. The big problem is not her boyfriend, it's her, and it's you.

But here's what is going to happen. She is going to finally realize that the guy is not for her and dump him, but she is not going to make YOU her priority. You will continue to be the fall guy.

So my advice is simple. Tell her that you want to give her some room to sort her emotions and bring clarity and you are going to pull away. No contact. No talking. If her relationship with the dude works out. Good luck to her. If it doesn't work out. Then if she wants to get in touch with you. Go for it.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 22
my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriend
Posted: 8/23/2013 8:27:38 AM
Maybe a good solution is to ask out the new boyfriend's ex-fiancee. You would find out how ex she is.
 ImNotForYou
Joined: 4/28/2013
Msg: 23
my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriend
Posted: 8/23/2013 2:43:30 PM
Why in the hell did you write her note stating your true feelings when she was already involved with someone else and you were aware of it????

Seems pretty selfish and self-involved. You are willing to upset her current relationship by proclaiming your feelings because, after all, it is all about YOU isn't it??!!!
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 24
my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriend
Posted: 8/23/2013 8:52:01 PM
This is like high school crap. Could the Op have been left back that many times? I mean he's 27.... sheesh.. Maybe he's a special needs students? Who knows? Or maybe even that Taylor Swift song got good to him & he's trying to emulate it.

Best be careful her SO doesn't kick your arse for gossiping & spreading rumors. He's probably already pissed that you made a move on his GF, especially after suspecting & confronting her about it. And the White Knight looking out for my friend comments are just so over the top fake. She blew you off & your best friend right now should be distance from them, not scheming to break them up.
 mattypriz
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 25
my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriend
Posted: 8/24/2013 7:51:38 PM
yeah that would be a good idea but only would work if i was in poland
 sxymiss32
Joined: 8/17/2013
Msg: 26
my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriend
Posted: 8/25/2013 1:22:39 PM
You need to seriously back off. She's in a relationship already and cheating on her boyfriend with you and you are supporting that. She should not be discussing her boyfriend or their relationship with you or anyone. I believe in the rule what goes on in a relationship stays in the relationship. Their relationship is none of your business. You already have interfered in their relationship. Find a single woman to date. It sounds like her boyfriend is onto you and is aware that you are trying to come between him and her. Do you really want to be responsible for the break up of their relationship?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 27
my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriend
Posted: 8/25/2013 2:23:07 PM
birds of a feather, flock together. we hang around those who make us feel most comfortable about being ourselves.

here we have two people, acting on what they want with little regard to fallout. And the guy who's still pining for his ex (if that's true) is bird number 3. all are running full steam on insecurity.

Imagine if your hot female friend was ugly, and dating someone abusive, after a history of men using her as a doormat. would she be so interesting to you? What part of her are you really caring about? Does her troubled relationship give you a reason to break it up, "for her best interest"?

do you want a healthy relationship? then don't waste time on her, she has a history of poor relationships. want self respect? she won't be able to give it to you, you have to give that to yourself. want a piece? go after someone who is actually availible.

but if you want a safe relationship, where you can avoid any pitfalls, well, this one may do. she's got her cake and she's eating it too.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 28
view profile
History
my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriend
Posted: 8/25/2013 8:22:19 PM
My friend and I like each other...
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 29
my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriend
Posted: 8/28/2013 8:19:15 PM
boing Post! You like her, She likes you, Yall would be dating if she was single, But shes NOT! So find someone else. You can't just wait around to see if her relationship last or not.
I say a girl can't be your best friend if deep down you want to be more.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 30
my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriend
Posted: 9/1/2013 10:04:34 AM
When a person not only befriends someone who is involved but outright admit to romantic feelings, knowing that person is involved and wanting to make things work?

Any words, any contact, any pressure, all of it are additions to having already crossed the line.

When someone breaks someone up saying "they didn't mean for it to go there" and yet all the actions, talks and everything else are emotionally charged, romantically coercive and designed to break two people up?

Even if he is abusive or whatever else she is telling you and you "save her from herself"?

Isn't going to keep karma from banging down your door when someone does that to you, based on your actions romantically pursing a woman involved. And food for thought? If she bails on him to be with you with a "sympathetic romantic listener"? What ill keep her from doing it to you with the next guy?

Please don't be that kind of friends with an involved woman. Everyone's the loser. The fact she is letting you? Doesn't score her too many points either.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 31
my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriend
Posted: 9/1/2013 10:14:45 AM
Looks like she is keeping you as a fall back guy , in case her boyfriend doesn't work out . If you are comfortable with seconds then by all means wait .Otherwise I would advise cutting all contact and walking away . There are after all plenty of fish in the sea . Shouldn't even consider settling for being second choice .
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > my friend and me like each other but she has a boyfriend