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 AUTHOR
 ForumFiona
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 97
I hate kids !! Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Actually Hamilton depending on the break, the average length of time for bone to heal is about 6 to 8 weeks. Full healing should occur by 6 months max. Again it depends on the type of break but most doctors prefer the patient to bear some weight on the leg and start using the muscles and ligaments soon afterward. If he can`t navigate stairs by now with his crutches or better yet if he doesn`t have a walking cast then I suspect something is wrong...

I never read anywhere from the OP that she dislikes the child. She never said he was a bad kid or misbehaved, it sounds as if she gets along alright with him actually. But the resentment the OP has towards the mother is obvious, I bet the mother feels the same way towards her. Honestly I think the whole damned family (except the kid) sounds somewhat emotionally unstable, I would be back living in my home in a heartbeat and letting them all figure it out on their own. Both the father and kid would be more than invited to stay with me though, if they wanted.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 99
I hate kids !!
Posted: 8/31/2013 1:51:00 PM

Actually Hamilton depending on the break, the average length of time for bone to heal is about 6 to 8 weeks. Full healing should occur by 6 months max. Again it depends on the type of break but most doctors prefer the patient to bear some weight on the leg and start using the muscles and ligaments soon afterward. If he can`t navigate stairs by now with his crutches or better yet if he doesn`t have a walking cast then I suspect something is wrong...


Actually, it is completely dependent on the type of break how the patient is non-weight bearing. In my case it was 14 weeks before I could bear any weight at all due to the type of break. During that period, I was at physio 5 days a week in order to save some of the muscle tone. Every break is different and without looking at a an x-ray, we have no idea why he is non-weight bearing at 2 months and if, like me, he has any issues with his shoulders, stairs on crutches are completely out of the picture.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 101
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 8/31/2013 3:59:11 PM

Don't complain about personal attacks after committing so many against the OP. Look at your little topic title change, as an example. You haven't "proved" anything, just made a bunch of unfounded accusations against the OP so you can have your self-righteous rant.

Who's complaining, your personal attacks are the only thing keeping your posts from being completely redundant and worth reading. The op dumped her life out and asked for it to be judged, where as your attempt to deface me is all based on your own imagination and need to play the hero.


Are you a doctor? Do you know the details of the bf's broken leg? Sure, some simple fractures may heal quickly, but there are more complicated injuries in that area that can take quite a bit longer. Maybe surgery, or a reset was involved since the date of the initial break. You don't have that info, yet you're sooo sure what the guy can & can't do at this point.

Two things I'm not, a doctor or completely ignorant. But if you are of the mind that a slow healing shine bone fracture is enough to turn a grown man into a complete invalid, more power to ya.


Do you personally know the grandfather and what level of care that he needs? Do you have first hand information regarding the additional amount of work & time OP volunteered to help him, and her bf out?

No, you don't.

Well he doesn't have a slow healing shine bone fracture, so we know he's not a complete invalid like his grandson.


The OP wasn't asked if she would also watch over the kid that weekend either, she was presented with a fait accompli. That lack of courtesy would naturally irritate someone, yet you turned this into a "she obviously hates this kid" sermon.

The op watching the child is just like your attempt to play thread hero, self appointed.


Yeah, I could quote every unsupported assumption you've made in order to vilify the OP, but considering that makes up the majority of your "contributions" to this topic, why bother?

Yeah you could, but that would only show how redundant your argument is since everything you are posting has already been discussed.


It's enough for me to point out that the people having a fit in this topic aren't the kind, considerate types that their manufactured outrage is supposed to imply.

Well I doubt it's hard to feel like you accomplished something when the bar was just thrown on the ground. Tripping over it could be considered a win. I mean even a blind squirrel trips over a nut every now and then.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 102
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 8/31/2013 4:13:09 PM

Well Dr. Evil ... where did you go to medical school ... so you must be a DOCTOR ...

I didn't, but I live really close to a Holiday in express.


and an expert on EVERYTHING.

Just because you can not argue any of my post logically doesn't mean I am an expert.


My mother broke her leg .... it took at least 2 months to heal.

Well I'm sorry to hear that, such injuries take even longer to heal for the elderly.

But that does make me wonder how you can buy into the whole "fractured" not broken leg turning this man into a complete invalid.


Many woman will NOT date a widower ... because they ASSUME they can NOT compete with her late wife..

That's not true, the women I've dated since my wife's passing seem to be more secure about dating a widower because there is no chance of us getting back together and there is no one to compete with.


Making assumption is what you do

That's really all anyone can do in the forums, unless of course you are dense enough to believe people post all of the facts and are completely honest here when seeking validation.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 103
view profile
History
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 8/31/2013 7:31:09 PM

But that does make me wonder how you can buy into the whole "fractured" not broken leg turning this man into a complete invalid

When my boyfriend injured his leg, he was literally tied to the house for the first six weeks because he was not supposed to put any weight on his leg. He couldn't go anywhere and he had to use a walker or crutches to even move around the house. We had to bring in special equipment so he could use the washroom, or take a shower. He had to stay at my place from the first of December until the end of February because he wasn't able to climb stairs; and he should have stayed longer, but the strata wouldn't let his dog stay here any longer. There were some everyday activities that his doctor didn't want him to do for at least a year.

Neither you nor I have any intimate knowledge of the OP's injury, so concluding it must be fishy because you personally have no knowledge of people who've had injuries that severe is simply ignorant.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 104
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 8/31/2013 7:43:57 PM

Neither you nor I have any intimate knowledge of the OP's injury, so concluding it must be fishy because you personally have no knowledge of people who've had injuries that severe is simply ignorant.


I do not question his mobility or the severity of his injury, it's the claim that he is all but a complete invalid 2 months after the injury and able to do nothing for himself or his own child that I have commented on.


So I'd have to be simply ignorant to believe a man with a fractured leg is unable to care for his own child.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 105
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 8/31/2013 8:14:55 PM

But that does make me wonder how you can buy into the whole "fractured" not broken leg turning this man into a complete invalid


Now you see some of us can understand and buy into because we have been there personally. When I was a very small child, my father was in a serious car accident and broke his leg badly. Forget 6 weeks to walking, he was 12 weeks before he left the hospital another 12 in a wheelchair, a year on crutches and then 1 more year with a cane. When I think of my early childhood, I remember a man that could barely walk, time spent with him was doing puzzles, curled up watching TV, my mom and older sister took care of everything else.

Fast forward to me, as I have said already, I was 3 + months in a wheelchair when I broke my leg, wouldn't have been much good at tending to a small child because I will still trying to figure out how to get myself around. And you do understand that fracture and broken are the same thing?


I do not question his mobility or the severity of his injury, it's the claim that he is all but a complete invalid 2 months after the injury and able to do nothing for himself or his own child that I have commented on.

So I'd have to be simply ignorant to believe a man with a fractured leg is unable to care for his own child.


And again, a severe break could leave someone still basically unable to do much at the two month mark. In the treatment of many breaks today, casts are not even used in order to ensure that the knee, hip and ankle continue to move freely. Believe it or not, the lack of a cast for many of these injuries, makes it harder to function because the cast provides stability to the damage limb. That stability is missing in a non-casted fracture (much more common these days). So without knowing exactly what is wrong with the guy, we can only go by what the OP has said. 2 months in and he is still not able to get around, well we do have to trust that this is true and we also need to give her a little compassion.

I would imagine that she has probably hit the exhaustion point from trying to run two homes while working. Throw a child into the mix, (especially for someone who is not used to children) and most would run screaming. All the OP did was come here and ask for sympathy and advice. What do we do? Attacked her and call her selfish. I don't know, she has been looking after everyone for 2 months, not exactly selfish. I totally understand her frustration that she has been left to look after the child as well with no consultation.

Stop and put yourself in her place for a minute, think she has every right to be angry about the situation. Dad needs to speak up and grandma needs either step up or butt out.
 ImNotForYou
Joined: 4/28/2013
Msg: 106
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 8/31/2013 9:17:44 PM
I'm curious....a single mother (no family or friends to help her) breaks her leg. She has a small child. What is she to do with this child while she heals?? Give it away? Put it up for adoption? Take it out back and shoot it?

This man may be confined to a wheel chair or crutches right now but what if that was a permanent situation and he had to spend the rest of his life in a wheel chair? Would he use that as the excuse not to care for his own child?

The OP doesn't want the responsibility. FINE. It isn't hers to have, it's her fiance's. If he doesn't want it and is fine with shoving it off on the OP then the OP's real problem is not the child, it is the fact that she can't change her fiance and doesn't want to leave him and be single so she's going to try and change the situation and just find a way to remove the child and the ex from the equation.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 108
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 8/31/2013 9:35:37 PM

Maybe I should start from your first post, quote EVERY ASSUMPTION you've made, and make you prove why you can make them.


All these maybe's and why should I's, if you are going to get in the ring, get all the way in the ring and stop running around the outside of it.

You set them up, and I'll knock them down, so any time you're ready game on.
 ImNotForYou
Joined: 4/28/2013
Msg: 110
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 8/31/2013 10:25:44 PM
According to forum rules, AnEvilGenius is unable to reply until others contribute to post soooooooooooooooo, I will copy and paste what he sent me.



Pfft!

Try reading the OP:
It’s a very slow healing fracture, and moves around either on a wheelchair or crutches.

Unless you are assuming that the child is a rampant, uncontrollable little monster, case closed.


Knock out!


NEXT!
 ImNotForYou
Joined: 4/28/2013
Msg: 112
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 8/31/2013 10:36:16 PM
Seriously??? What problem are you having....comprehension or vision because what he quoted from the OP was FROM THE OP HERSELF IN HER OWN WORDS!!

So unless you are calling the OP a liar.......he moves around on crutches or in a wheelchair.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 113
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 8/31/2013 10:39:45 PM
I know there is no way I typed that so fast I lost you. Read it again slowly and see if it clicks.

The man is mobile, and the injury is a fractured leg, and if you are questioning that information you are questioning the op since it's directly from the op.


Lmao! The two men seem to get along just fine while the drama queen martyr is at work and at home, but watching a child is above and beyond your level of comprehension. Go figure!


Case closed, now what's your next lame question ?
 ImNotForYou
Joined: 4/28/2013
Msg: 115
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 8/31/2013 10:47:53 PM

..and you know definitively that that the bf is personally capable of handling the care of his child with that injury? Do you know him personally? Sure, some people in that situation are that capable, but, we all know, not everyone operates at the same level.


What I DO KNOW is that people who break their leg and have no one to help them do not throw their children away simply because they feel they can not adequately care for them. They do the best they can with what they got. This dude just simply doesn't want to, or is too lazy to care for his OWN CHILD and that is what disgusts me about this entire situation.


You're another person that is eager to jump on someone that you don't know. That doesn't make you look like a morally superior person. Just so you know...


Much like YOU are jumping on me assuming I think I'm morally superior. Hello pot, kettle calling!
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 117
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 8/31/2013 10:53:50 PM
Notforyou, don't worry about that troll, judging from his first reply to the op, he's clueless.

The woman can't handle the child along with all of her other duties (thread topic) and yet this guy suggests the father get full custody of the same son causing all of the problems and he is unable to care for without Corrella Davills help.

He even implied the mothers weekend was for fun, and not to recover from the surgery she had on Wednesday. Funny how mother fresh from surgery should be able to manage the child but poor poor pathetic dad can't 2 months after a fracture.

Bwuahahahahahaha.....
 ImNotForYou
Joined: 4/28/2013
Msg: 119
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 8/31/2013 10:59:17 PM
You have issues.....for one being the purpose of a forum. If the OP didn't want honest opinions, she should not have posted her question to a bunch of strangers on a forums board. No where does it say I have to blow smoke up a poster's ass to make them feel tingly and good. Does not take a genius to figure out what is going on here but for whatever reason, it seems to have escaped you.

This is not about a broken leg. This is about a woman who has put herself into a position and now wants to cry foul. I have neither sympathy nor patience for victim mentality nor do I have further patience for your pompous attitude. Enjoy the forums.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 121
How I became a professional martyr..
Posted: 8/31/2013 11:06:02 PM
I didn't dodge anything, you just don't like the answer. Not that I figured you would based on your own admitted mission of "trolling me".. If I posted the ex rays and doctors opinion you'd try to argue it..

I mean you are the same person that suggested the father get full custody to solve the problem when the problem is the child's presence.. Hence the thread... Duh...

Funny thing is, you think the father is unable to care for his own child because he fractured his leg two months ago, yet have no problem with the mother caring for her son after having surgery on Wednesday, and her recovery weekend isn't a recovery weekend, you suggest it a "fun weekend".. Ouch... Hello kettle..

I guess implying something that's not clearly posted regardless of how logical it is, is only allowed if it favors the martyr..
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 123
I hate kids.
Posted: 9/1/2013 12:52:49 AM

You don't know what the injury is. Just admit it, or keep having it rubbed in your face. It's not going away.

Fractured leg, it's a fractured leg, the injury is a fractured leg, get it yet, a fractured leg, yes that's it, say it again really slow and sound it out, f r a c t u r e d l e g..


I suppose she needs some rest

Funny, even the op stated the mother needed some rest.. But I guess once again I'm just implying that..



Last weekend she brought him over for the whole day

Oh my God, for the whole day ?


First she says she has a problem with the way the mother "supposedly" dumps the child off all of the time and thinks it's wrong, but then she says :


Surely, between 4 adults somehow they’d be able to look after the kind.

So dumping the kid off isn't the problem, as long as the kids not "dumped off there".

Fail and owned:


THE FUTURE STEPDAD AND HIS PARENTS.

Damn, here you are whining from under your bridge about posting only 100% provable facts that you give your seal of approval on, and yet for some reason a permanent partner is now suddenly the FUTURE STEPDAD ...


she is living with a permanent partner

Hypocrite much ?

Why yes, yes you do.


Now, run along with your low logic attempts at trolling me.
 anita_lay
Joined: 12/19/2012
Msg: 124
view profile
History
I hate kids.
Posted: 9/1/2013 1:25:38 AM
^^I have to say, you're a hilarious evil genius..
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 125
I hate kids. NO, I really really hate kids!
Posted: 9/1/2013 1:28:51 AM
I try to be, so it's pretty damned funny when someone comes in already chapped assed and wants to get all personal and claim I'm such a bad bad man..

There is always a lighter side if people chose to see it..
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 126
view profile
History
I hate kids. NO, I really really hate kids!
Posted: 9/1/2013 10:11:16 AM
This is why some people shouldn't have kids, the only one I feel sorry for is the child in this scenario. All the Op needs to learn is one little word "no" when you don't stand up for yourself you are condoning the behaviour to continue and that becomes your own fault. How hard is it to entertain a 5 year old, board games, arts and crafts, making play doo, etc. it would mean the father wouldn't have to move much and watch his child, it's not like it's a baby they are dealing with. I would be having a group meeting with all these supposed adults and hashing out some ground rules for everyone to follow, especially if you are going to get married to this guy, nonsense like this doesn't get any better over time unless someone steps up and changes things, hopefully for the betterment of this child, all that's going happen is the OP will become bitter and resentful of the situation she is helping to perpetuate by not acting to correct the problem now.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 128
I hate kids. NO, I really really hate kids!
Posted: 9/1/2013 7:26:31 PM
I think what's making this thread go around in circles is the OP never mentioned the interaction between her fiance and his ex concerning the care of the child and what kind of legal agreement was made concerning custody and visitation. And there's no mention if the fiance and his ex are bitter towards one another or are they acting civilized for the sake of the kid, as well as how often do they have contact with each other. In other words, not enough information. Everybody is making judgement based on what is guessed to be the situation with the bits and pieces of the puzzle.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 129
I hate kids. NO, I really really hate kids!
Posted: 9/1/2013 7:36:08 PM
fleuron- Wow, has this one ever divided us.
You have your opinion and some agree with you.
Is this about money?, on some level it is, (in my opinion), just not the way you mean.
The child's mother has custody, the father has visitation, the amount of child support was set according to that arrangement, yet the mother is leaving the child with the grandmother and the father all the time and still getting support as if she has him full time. Be honest, is that really fair?, I think not.
I still don't see how so many of you are making the op out to be some kind of monster and/or a shrew (some claim she has a martyr complex).
For those of you so quick to judge and label her, I suggest you reread her original post.
She is leaving her home, taking care of her fiance, his father and her fiance's child. I hardly think she's the 'itch some have insisted she is when she is doing so much.
I reiterate my original comment, this little boys mother does NOT get a pass to have her cake and eat it too, the father needs to step up and INSIST that a regular visitation schedule is put in place, in writing and ENFORCE it.
The op is choosing (right now) to stay, but she is NOT the cause of all this.
Also, once again, the only one here I TRULY feel sorry for here is the little boy.
IF the op chooses to leave and another woman steps into her place, the same thing would STILL happen and I think most of you know that, so if the situation (more than likely) would stay the same, this can't ALL be the ops fault.
Come on people, think about it.
Dad's a milk toast and mommy is more worried about shopping and whatever else than she is her son, he is an inconvenience to her and she'll pawn him off on anyone at anytime and the OP's the problem?! WRONG
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 132
I hate kids. NO, I really really hate kids!
Posted: 9/2/2013 6:52:00 PM

yet the mother is leaving the child with the grandmother and the father all the time and still getting support as if she has him full time. Be honest, is that really fair?, I think not.


The op's own posts do not support her claims.

According to the op, first it's about the mother always dumping the child off, but then she says the mother "just started bringing her son back around", then the op sites "one" example it being a day visit and then complains about future plans for a weekend made with the child grandmother. To top it off, it's called visitation not having a child "dumped" off on you. And it's their son not her son.


I still don't see how so many of you are making the op out to be some kind of monster and/or a shrew (some claim she has a martyr complex).
For those of you so quick to judge and label her, I suggest you reread her original post.

I wasn't quick to judge, but after reading all of the op's posts on the issue it was crystal clear.

She writes off any responsibility of the father based on his inability to run skip and jump, even thought this same man is able to manage for himself in her absence, so that it would seem this burden would fall all on her shoulders, implying she would be the only one there to care for his son. (where's grandma ?)

The one time the child has been to visit his father was during the week, and since the op has a job, obviously there was someone there and not the op to care for the child in her absence. So she hasn't once actually stated that she has been placed in or told she is responsible for the child.

Oh woe is me.... I have all of this already and now I'm expected too.. Who said anyone expected her to do anything ?
No one, it's just what she has predicted.

She is leaving her home, taking care of her fiance, his father and her fiance's child. I hardly think she's the 'itch some have insisted she is when she is doing so much.

Well she hadn't taken care of the son when she wrote the op, the op is based on future plans which she claims will be left to her and her alone to deal with. The one visit that has happened was during the week and I believe the op has a job which would remove her from the home leaving the son to be cared for by someone else.. Gee I wonder who that someone else was. Was it the father, the grandmother .... hmmmmmm (what are the chances that one time he was dropped off was the same day the mother had her surgery?)


I reiterate my original comment, this little boys mother does NOT get a pass to have her cake and eat it too, the father needs to step up and INSIST that a regular visitation schedule is put in place, in writing and ENFORCE it.
Well that would have been thrown out the window if it had already been in place last year, based on the op's own claims of the child being to much for the father to handle since he fractured his leg. And again, that only applies if you fail to see the comment the op made about "just started bringing her son back around".

The op is choosing (right now) to stay, but she is NOT the cause of all this.

Yes, yes she is. She has made this issue all about her and it has nothing to do with her.

Also, once again, the only one here I TRULY feel sorry for here is the little boy.

At first I did too, then I realized how the op seemed to exaggerate so much of the story that I believe it's safe to say she did the same about the child's mother.

Dad's a milk toast and mommy is more worried about shopping and whatever else than she is her son, he is an inconvenience to her and she'll pawn him off on anyone at anytime and the OP's the problem?! WRONG

Child's been to see his father once after not being around for how long, ? Not that it makes any difference what the mother does with her free time, it's not only irrelevant, but also none of the op's business.

And I noticed everyone mentioning the dress shopping and no one is using the other example of working too much.
Does it not have the same overly dramatic effect needed to feed the martyr ?

And if it's not about money, why does she seem to mention it so many times, and even talks about her late husbands wife and her banking habits. And can you believe she actually thinks the mother should send her son over to his fathers with enough food for the weekend ? Come on.. Who's going to pay for it ? So what if she makes the choice not to ask her fiancee for the money to cover it just so she can piss moan and whine from her cross about it.

What about the grandmother ? Was she crying because her son spoke up or because she she's this woman creating so much drama and trying to keep her grandson away ? Why can the grandmother not make plans with the child's mother without the op's or even the fathers approval without it being a problem for the op ?

Guess who is going to have to care for the child isn't an actuality answer to a could be situation.
Who else is going to do it, isn't evidence she is being expected to care for the child.
Every bit of it is her own overly dramatic opinion and concern about what could happen, not what has happened or surely will happen in what is turning into her failed efforts to control the entire situation.

A situation that is none of her business in the first place.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 133
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 9/3/2013 10:35:36 AM
Blond Angel 845- We are on the same page, for sure.
For the life of me, I don't understand some of the attitudes towards the OP.
Dad that acts like a broken leg means he's helpless. My last child was born by c-section, I could barely stand for two weeks and still managed to take care of my other two children plus an infant. The father is making excuses to pawn this child off on his fiance and so is the child's mother.
Last I checked, visitation is set on a schedule and the amount of child support is based on who has the child the majority of the time.
The mother asked for custody and receives child support based on that, yet she leaves this child with anyone and everyone she can and gets away with it.
Several people have stated that none of this is the ops business, if that's the case then she is ok to refuse to be treated this way, with this being none of her business and all, right?!
All of the people on the "none of her business" band wagon need a reality check, the mother and father of the child are making it her business by expecting her to care for the child!
I guess she should just refuse to care for the child the next time mom shows up at the door, I'm sure that one would go over well.
I'm convinced this was going on before the OP ever met this man and it's just taken her this long to realize she's being used.
I hope she leaves.
I see therapy in this poor child's future, or worse :(
 ImNotForYou
Joined: 4/28/2013
Msg: 134
Children from previous relationships
Posted: 9/3/2013 5:22:48 PM

His ex is getting all the state benefits for the kid and having maintenance from my fiancé on top of it.

But I refuse to be a free nanny for someone, because they enjoy all the money and can’t be bothered to look after their own children.

I have been there before and I know how some mothers successfully use their children and fathers’ guilty conscience to have an easy life. I wouldn’t have any problems at all if the ex was not using the child to her own benefits. And this is what, I am certain, is happening. I haven’t seen any evidence of her investing into her own child.

I was married before and my deceased husband had 2 sons from a previous marriage. He was paying for their boarding school and 1200 pounds a month in maintenance to their mother to cover her costs when she had them on the weekends.

And should I not equally care if she gets her money out of my pocket???? She didn't provide any food nor spare money for the weekend.


Tell me again how this isn't about money??
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