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 AUTHOR
 import_from_UK
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 34
Do you care about a womans number ?Page 2 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
I can't think of anything I care about less than how many women my partner has slept with before me. It's none of my business, I don't want to have that information. It doesn't matter if the number is 1 or many more. I simply don't want the data and I can't imagine anyone else would either. The last thing I want to have inside my head are the details of his exes. I don't know how that can ever be beneficial.
 NewYorkFan1
Joined: 6/30/2013
Msg: 35
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 5:51:24 AM
After my first few messages online I normally ask for the number..
Oops, sorry, I was referring to the seven digit number so I can contact her..

But when it comes to the number of men she has been with, really not my business so that is a question that I would never ask. But I have found that sometimes during small talk, when we are talking about things we had done in the past when we were younger, sometimes the subject of past relationships and maybe sexual encounters does come up.
And it is really not a big deal, I am more concerned about the future then anything that has transpired in the past..
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 36
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 6:28:36 AM

Her knowing what she likes doesn't really do it for me, because that's basically just how some other guy did it for her. Sorry, not my thing.

So.... you're not into giving a woman something she likes, something she knows will work for her, something she enjoys. Makes you sound, especially with the example you offer of the younger willing to do anything your way woman, that you're only interested in having sex the way you want, the way you like, the way you know will get you off. I smell a hypocrite.

I have a hard trigger. If a man wants to get me off, he's going to have to do it my way. If he doesn't want to get me off, he won't be sticking around very long.

I don't respond to a lot of things, like the "jack-hammer-hand" approach. It is the opposite of arousing to me. Bores me, turns me off, makes me dry up. Know how many men use it??? A lot. I stopped one guy one time (last time he laid a hand on me actually) and his response was.. "you were about to cum"... and I laughed and told him I wasn't, because that was the truth.

Gentlemen, a little tip for you... if a woman just lays there and doesn't move, moan, or respond in any way.. chances are whatever it is you're doing to her is boring the ever living f*ck out of her.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 37
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 8:24:34 AM
And the Madonna/Whore complex shows it's ugly head once again.

What I find interesting is that many men will tell you they want a women who is uninhibited and some what aggressive in the bedroom however what they fail to say is that this type of woman is not "marriage material" in their shallow minds. It's such a double standard. Men can Fvck all day long but heaven forbid a woman is not his virgin! This comes down to men's insecurities and trying to boost their egos 99% of the time.

I never ask, nor do I care about what came before me. What matters is that I'm the one freakin in the sheets right now! When a guy starts asking these things it's a big flag that he's probably a closed minded prude and I don't do closed minded prudes! Why can't men be mature and secure with themselves to be open to a woman who happens to embrace her sexuality?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 39
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 8:41:36 AM

So.... you're not into giving a woman something she likes, something she knows will work for her, something she enjoys. Makes you sound, especially with the example you offer of the younger willing to do anything your way woman, that you're only interested in having sex the way you want, the way you like, the way you know will get you off. I smell a hypocrite.

+1

Using this as an example, just because we know it will make her climax, doesn't mean we're going to hand her a vibrator, and say "Here, you know what to do best..."

Perhaps you should - in some cases mentioned here, she might be better off.

The idea is to make her experience with me to be unique, not a rerun of what the last guy or guys did...

You'd have to not be able to get over yourself to have this mindset. If you have any humility and/or interest in her happiness what matters most is you know what works - not how she discovered it (PS a lot of us discover what works for us on our own - so it's interesting you automatically think some other guy had to be involved). If she gives you the information clearly you're an idiot to then make it about your ego.
 Visionaryone
Joined: 5/16/2013
Msg: 40
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 8:53:30 AM
^^^^^girl you said it all! I don't even have to comment on his comment to me! Thank you!
 Archiver
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 41
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 9:28:54 AM

Gentlemen, a little tip for you... if a woman just lays there and doesn't move, moan, or respond in any way.. chances are whatever it is you're doing to her is boring the ever living f*ck out of her.


Right on!

An experienced woman might be jaded, but then again she might be more open-minded, talented, and kinder. The day will come when you value these qualities above all else. Frankly, a woman's "number" is none of your damn business, and you would be a fool to ask.

Women: TELLING your number is ALWAYS a mistake. Don't count.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 42
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 1:05:24 PM
I have no shame about my sexual history...I just dont gossip about it.

If a man asked me what my number was, I'd tell him to phuk off....and tell him to add that phuk to HIS numbers.

My exes at least know one of thier exes isnt out there telling every man who asks all about it. Can you say tacky?

So long as both test clean, who cares? It only takes one time to get an std.

All you do is 'force' people to lower thier numbers when you impose such standards anyways, so what do you accomplish in all of this?
 I_travel_light
Joined: 7/27/2013
Msg: 43
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 1:26:54 PM
Yes femaleconnection....that was what I was thinking onky didn't cone up with...godssip. I can honestlt say I have loved and respected every man I slept with at some point and to tell intimate details seems gossipy and disrepectful. I am concerned about who they are today then who they were in there 30s
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 45
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 2:36:33 PM
Wow, women LIE, men EXAGGERATE.......that wording alone spells volumes about the your double standard thinking OP, the age/partner equation somehow seems worse in terms of a futile attempt at standardizing life, smile.

As there is no way to determine how many previous partners a person may have had, let it go, relax and most importantly figure out why that would be so important for you and work on that issue.

I personally prefer someone who knows what he's doing as well as himself as they're usually more fun, and that requires some experience. The "number" itself really does not matter, but a good amount of experience with different partners can only be beneficial.

Once you're uncomfortable with being compared though..... try find a virgin, honey.
 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 46
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 4:21:49 PM
I'd care, since a woman with a larger number might not be compatible with my own lack of interest in sex.
 257815
Joined: 3/29/2013
Msg: 47
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 4:38:12 PM
I read that the average number for a woman is 4 partners and the average number for a man is 7. I think that number is waaaay low for both! I would guess between 15 and 20 for a woman and 30 to 40 for a man is probably about average.....but who knows?
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 48
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 5:35:33 PM
Using this as an example, if she knows she likes something specific and that is how she might climax, you want to continue doing something else that won't make her climax?! And to say 'sorry not my thing' just sounds awfully selfish to me. It's not against you personally but the mentality comes off as it's really all about what you want and not the person you're with. I have never been with anyone that had a problem with me telling them what I like-and I have gone the 'extra mile', if you will, to ask them if they want to find out what I like by doing stuff and seeing my reaction, or me just telling them, and the answers have all been unanimous with me just telling them because their logic was why waste time. Now they were all pleasers so they absolutely wanted to know so maybe that is the difference.


The double standards are still going strong in here I see. So, if I want a woman to do things the way I like it, I am selfish, but a woman is expected to tell her partners how she likes it, so they can give her what she wants, and that's NOT selfish? This is hilarious lol. Please, tell me again how you should tell a man exactly how you want the sex to be, and he should just do that, because anything else is selfish on his part.


So it's ok for another guy that dates a woman after you to have to screw her like you did, but you don't want to have to screw someone like her previous man did? Ok so then you definitely should only screw virgins...


Sure, this situation is ok with me, since I am not the new guy being told how my girl likes to have sex, because some other guy did it for her that way, and she really liked it.


Gentlemen, a little tip for you... if a woman just lays there and doesn't move, moan, or respond in any way.. chances are whatever it is you're doing to her is boring the ever living f*ck out of her.


If I ever encountered a woman like that, I'd just stop in the middle of the sex and end things right there.


The idea is to make her experience with me to be unique, not a rerun of what the last guy or guys did...


Exactly this. All these women who say their man needs to have sex with them the way they ask had better have some bedroom skills besides making demands. Somehow, I doubt it.
 Visionaryone
Joined: 5/16/2013
Msg: 49
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 7:12:10 PM
The double standards are still going strong in here I see. So, if I want a woman to do things the way I like it, I am selfish, but a woman is expected to tell her partners how she likes it, so they can give her what she wants, and that's NOT selfish? This is hilarious lol. Please, tell me again how you should tell a man exactly how you want the sex to be, and he should just do that, because anything else is selfish on his part.

I'm sorry did I miss something in all the posts? I don't recall you posting anywhere that any woman you have been with was selfish or not into pleasing you, and I don't recall any poster that had an issue with what you first wrote say that they would not or do not please their partner! The comments that were made were in direct correlation to what YOU originally wrote!
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 51
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 7:48:25 PM

All these women who say their man needs to have sex with them the way they ask had better have some bedroom skills besides making demands
Somehow we went from women who are experienced and assertive enough to add some direction in the bedroom to women demanding men perform as they say. You've made a big stretch there.

Any tactful person will not say 'do it this way' in the early stages of a sexual relationship. They would instead offer more subtle guidance, perhaps with no words necessary. It's all about being kind, thoughtful, respectful etc. Just like I wouldn't tell someone to cook a meal the same way an ex-lover did, I also wouldn't, in any way, want them to think I wanted them to make love the way an ex did. You just let it evolve so it becomes about how the two of you interact with each other.

Mind you, I am taking about sex with emotions involved. I'm not sure how it works for those who just have sex for the sake of sex.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 55
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 8:38:44 PM
He's bound to put her on a pedestal a little, as he … finds his gf as so beautiful, and sexy and above other girls, why she had sex with so many guys, when these guys shouldn't have even had a chance with her…

Inferior guys – the ones that shouldn’t have even had a chance at her. Not up to her standard, those guys. I like to think of myself as the real thing, ya know? Blue-ribbon material.
 Visionaryone
Joined: 5/16/2013
Msg: 57
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 9:08:21 PM
I think the point some women have made has gotten lost. I will say for myself there is no way I would tell a current lover to do ANYTHING an ex lover did in bed, the point I was making is, for example, if I know for a fact that I don't like my clitoris touched and that does not happen to be the way I climax, and the person I am having sex with thinks he kniws my body and what I like better than me, and CONTINUES to mess with my clitoris, why the HECK wouldn't I have a problem with that and tell him??!!! Has nothing to do with any of my exe's performance or me being selfish, but knowing my body and what I like and don't like AS I WOULD DO THE SAME FOR HIM! If you know you don't want a woman sticking her finger in your butt (just keepin it real) and she KEEPS doing it that would be an issue right? And would you not tell her or just let her keep doing it knowing you didn't like it?! So that is the point I (and some other ladies) were trying to make...
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 58
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 9:11:21 PM
Somehow we went from women who are experienced and assertive enough to add some direction in the bedroom to women demanding men perform as they say. You've made a big stretch there.

The middle ground – the way reasonable women behave – seems to be fast fading from the discussion…


Any tactful person will not say 'do it this way' in the early stages of a sexual relationship.

…and the “sexually experienced woman” has now morphed into some cold and demanding shrew figure who cracks the whip and grades the performance on a curve. This is what too much sex will do to you, ladies. So cross 'em.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 60
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/26/2013 10:05:48 PM
There's only one answer guys want when they are asking for a Gal's Sex number;
"Not Enough."

As far as the dignity of asking that question, I think it's only fair you have to reply to the Gal with the number of times you have to 'Take Matters Into Your Own Hands"...
-- In the last month
-- In the last week
-- In the last hour
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 62
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/27/2013 4:41:18 AM
If you have to ask...then you need to do a little more work on yourself.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 63
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/27/2013 8:43:27 AM

Sure, this situation is ok with me, since I am not the new guy being told how my girl likes to have sex, because some other guy did it for her that way, and she really liked it.

I have NEVER told a partner to do something like a previous partner. Never. I would never dream to do that.

On the other hand, I HAVE heard from a few of them how their exes did things and how they really liked it and wished I would do that too.


If I ever encountered a woman like that, I'd just stop in the middle of the sex and end things right there.

Really? That’s a shame. A more enlightened man would stop and ask questions and change up what they were doing.

I can be totally into what’s going on, and then suddenly I’m not. My previous partner was well attuned to my reactions. If I stopped responding, he’d check in and adjust things. It had nothing to do with his skills as a lover, and everything to do with how my brain works. I’m glad he didn’t just end things and walk.


Exactly this. All these women who say their man needs to have sex with them the way they ask had better have some bedroom skills besides making demands. Somehow, I doubt it.

I think you are projecting a lot more into this situation than what is really happening. I don’t “demand” any lover do anything a certain way. I explain and demonstrate how best to get me off. That is usually their goal… my pleasure.

The only demands I make is that I be treated with respect and dignity. Oh.. and that we communicate our respective needs to one another in a way that we

Somehow we went from women who are experienced and assertive enough to add some direction in the bedroom to women demanding men perform as they say. You've made a big stretch there.

This. +1


I think in some ways, as her numbers increase, it leads to diminishing returns in that regard...
If she's only slept with a small number of guys then it's more likely she will remember everything about each individual guy...
If she's slept with a lot of guys, they're probably going blur together in her memory...

However...
If she's only slept with one other guy... you have a 50% chance of being the best lover...
If she's only slept with 3 other guys, you only have a 25% chance of being her best lover...
If she's slept with 9 other guys, you only have a 10% chance of being her best lover...
If she's slept with 19 other guys, you only have a 5% chance of being her best lover...
And so on...

I’m kind of surprised by your responses to this, m_church.

I’ve been having sex a long time. A really long time. I don’t remember the details of most of my partners. Not because I’ve had a HUGE number of them, only because I’ve been having sex a long time and the memory doesn’t really hang onto specifics like that.


…and the “sexually experienced woman” has now morphed into some cold and demanding shrew figure who cracks the whip and grades the performance on a curve. This is what too much sex will do to you, ladies. So cross 'em.

I do hope you’re being tongue in cheek here, otherwise.. shame on you.

Bottom line is this.. said perfectly well by my former partner:
“so nope don't care about a number .
no reason to fixate on a non issue. the past guys are just that. not good enough to be current guys
so yay him. he wins the best dude right now prize.”

That right there is why I got involved with him when he was 23/24 (I was 39). This mature attitude about life and sex and the realities of the world. Probably the best lover I've ever had.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 65
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/27/2013 10:27:23 AM

I had one woman who seemed to love to describe in detail what her ex-husband would do with her in bed... Very annoying.... LOL

I would imaging it would be!!
But is that really the norm out there?
Are women and men really telling their current lovers "how" their ex did it???

I am very communicative , in and out of the bedroom....
I may very well tell my man I like "this or that"......but I sure as hell wouldn't say "this is how my ex did it"!!

I'm 50 years old.....I have sexual experience and I expect any man I'm with to have sexual experience.
But, when we get together, it is about us making our own sexual experiences that is a blend of his and my desires.

If either partner is exclaiming "do it my way or no way"......the relationship is doomed from the get-go.

as for numbers.......
only sexual ones I need to know is if you have a clue what 6 & 9 are!!
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 66
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/27/2013 10:43:18 AM

When I was that age, I had pretty much the same attitude...
I didn't care how many guys the woman had been with before... Afterall, I probably wasn't going to settle down with her or date her for long anyway... If I had no intentions of staying with her long term, I couldn't give a rat's ass about her past...

Only I asked him that question now.. almost 6 years later. That was his answer this morning. That has always been his answer. And we were together for 5 years. Would I have spent the rest of my life with him? I can't say for sure. That's an honest answer. I can't see myself staying with ANYONE for the rest of my life. I don't think in those terms.


Well, your memory might not hang onto those specifics....
I still remember most things about every woman I slept with... but then, I do have a very retentive memory for everything...

I'm old, my brain can't retain all the things it's seen and experienced. But it's always been that way. I can read a book, and generally speaking, I won't be able to tell you 10 minutes later what it was about.

I remember the sh!t things more and for longer than I remember the other stuff, unless it happened to rock my world in a OHHOLYCRAPTHATWASAMAZING kind of way. Seriously. I can count on one hand the number of lovers that have caused that reaction.


I had one woman who seemed to love to describe in detail what her ex-husband would do with her in bed... Very annoying.... LOL

I had an open relationship with the above mentioned younger gentleman, and I used to LOVE hearing the details of his sexploits with the others he would see. All the dirty details. Made me hot. He, on the other hand, did not want to hear those details of me with anyone I would see. All he wanted to know was if I was happy. Otherwise it would evoke a jealous response in him, so he didn't ask and I didn't tell.

I don't judge my current partners on the actions of previous ones. They are not the same person and deserve to be measured for who they are.

Do I wish my current could do that thing I like so much that the former did? Sure. However, the current does things that no one else has done. So there are trade offs, and I would never, ever say those words out loud to him.

Any lover that would say those things to their partner, verbally hurting them in that manner, is obviously not prepared to move on from a past relationship, or is thinking about sex from a purely selfish point of view. Not someone I want to share my bed with.
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 67
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/27/2013 11:01:30 AM
Its not fair to judge them against others from your past, I agree.
My current GF has been married twice before and it would drive me nuts if I had to compare myself to her previous, but as long as I stay true to myself and let her do the same, we seem to avoid the rollercoaster of jealousy.

The fact is it really isnt anybodies business but hers.
She may have her past...
But I have her present.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 68
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/27/2013 11:24:37 AM

On the flip side, I can just imagine the reaction if I told my partner that "L" used to fcuk me this way and I want her to do it the same way... or that "B" used to perform oral sex precisely a certain way... and so on... She'd tell me to go back to them....

Who said anything about actually mentioning exes when talking about what works for you? So if she knows what she likes and tell you without explaining how she learned it - you're OK with it? She may have learned it alone or with an ex but never tell you - you have to know you're not the first ever in most cases, right?

I don't see why it matters where she discovered she liked something as long as you get that information if she's not naming people...unless you like not being told and trying to guess and having it not work a bunch of times.

Most women don't talk about exes when explaining what they like. Yes, if you are getting women that actually list which men did what then I agree that it's inappropriate and you should move on.
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