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 wildlifelover1979
Joined: 5/4/2013
Msg: 69
Do you care about a womans number ?Page 3 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
I could care less how many men or women she has been with! She just has to guarantee me she has 0 STD's! Like I was telling my one friend one day if she is disease free, smoke free and drug free I would have sex with a woman. I am open to having sex with a stripper or porn star. Although I would have to ask them to be tested first! LOL!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 71
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/28/2013 4:21:46 AM

Do you really think the absence of a name makes a difference? LOL

Yes, I do. The absence of a name or mentioned person means you're assuming there was one when there may not be. It also speaks to insecurity and ego (something that is outdated, honestly). Obviously all sex we have now is based on sex we had before - and that goes for both people. If you want to be the only guy a woman ever slept with date virgins only, or give up dating. At the very least, get over yourself.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 72
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/28/2013 4:30:08 AM

Do you really think the absence of a name makes a difference? LOL.


So.........if I say "I like to be teased with just the tip of your penis barely inside me".....

does this fall into the category of "my ex did this and I like it" -or- "I figured this out with my dildo" ??
And how would you know which experience I learned it from?

I cannot possible see how a couple can discuss what they do or don't like without their being some inference to a past sexual experience!!
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 73
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/28/2013 5:06:32 AM

Do you really think the absence of a name makes a difference? LOL

*blink blink* You can't be serious. Are you seriously asking this? Seriously?!?!?! For real?


Yes, I do. The absence of a name or mentioned person means you're assuming there was one when there may not be. It also speaks to insecurity and ego (something that is outdated, honestly). Obviously all sex we have now is based on sex we had before - and that goes for both people. If you want to be the only guy a woman ever slept with date virgins only, or give up dating. At the very least, get over yourself.

I'd like to co-sign this response please.


So.........if I say "I like to be teased with just the tip of your penis barely inside me".....

does this fall into the category of "my ex did this and I like it" -or- "I figured this out with my dildo" ??
And how would you know which experience I learned it from?

I cannot possible see how a couple can discuss what they do or don't like without their being some inference to a past sexual experience!!

And this one too, please.

So, true story... I know, I know.. not another one...

I have been getting myself off a lot longer than ANY of my partners. I think I kind of know what works best for me and what doesn't. If you don't follow some instruction or guidelines, then you are going to radically reduce the amount of pleasure that I get out of being naked with you. If you do that, I'm not going to want to spend as much naked fun sexy times with you because the return on MY investment will be diminished. This does not mean I won't be open to exploring different things with you... some of the BEST things I've ever experienced have been at the hands of the men I'm currently sharing my bed with. Some of those things were new to me and I never once questioned where it came from.

Once again those instructions come as "ooooo I really like it when you touch me like this.. watch.. *demonstration*...* and never as "my ex, Sam (fictional name) used to touch me like this, and I want you to learn how to do it exactly like he did so I can experience the same pleasure he used to give me.."

Is the male ego so delicate that it can't handle a little show and tell? I know most men don't read or follow an instructional manual... but really.. someone had to show you how to tie your shoes and use that table saw at some point.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 75
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/28/2013 3:08:02 PM
Oh gosh...silly me...I didn't realize that a person's "number" is such an important part of finding someone you want to be with, enjoy life with, etc. I always thought things like character, personality, similar interest, etc was important.

Question: What is the difference between women lying about their number and men exaggerating? Women lie but men exaggerate?
Question: How do you know that "most" women lie about their number? Have you asked "most" women? yeah, I thought not. What % of women have you asked? How did you determine that they were lying?

I don't lie about my number. I don't ask others about their number. So many more important things to talk about...
Do you care about a man's number?
Posted: 8/28/2013 3:49:41 PM
Once again, I'd be tempted to turn the question around to adjust the perspective - Do you care about a man's number?

For some, the responses would eventually reach the point where you realize that what you may care about is why a man's number is whatever it is. To make this fact less hidden, I'd present the most extreme hypothetical - a man who has sex with a different woman, let's say, every week, if not every day. For years. So, a woman who normally says that she doesn't care, might find herself focusing on why the man does this, because such a high number makes more obvious the possibility that he is one kind of man versus another kind of man, whereas otherwise, if it's a lower number, she'd not care simply because she's making an assumption about the why and that it doesn't mean anything concerning his character as it applies to his intentions, practices, etc. And of course, trying to get a read on someone's character is indeed why things like this may matter.

How many women would still not care if a man's number is zero? Don't they ultimately wonder about why it would be zero, instead of it being whatever number that it is?
 SuperSaiyanGoku
Joined: 3/18/2013
Msg: 77
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/28/2013 4:35:55 PM
No man wants to be walking around with a woman on his arms that half the city's men have been with. You're fooling yourself if you think otherwise. I don't know any MEN who want to be that fool.

Also, I was reading something this week that talked about the average woman today having had more sex partners than her man. Not only that but the more sex partners a woman has, the harder it is for her to be satisfied.



What I find interesting is that many men will tell you they want a women who is uninhibited and some what aggressive in the bedroom however what they fail to say is that this type of woman is not "marriage material" in their shallow minds.


What "many men" are not communicating effectively is that they want a woman that they teach to become sexual uninhibited and aggressive for them, not one that comes that way. Unless they're just looking for some fun in the sheets. How can women not know these things?



It's such a double standard. Men can Fvck all day long but heaven forbid a woman is not his virgin! This comes down to men's insecurities and trying to boost their egos 99% of the time.


A lot of women like you still don't understand that attacking a man's ego = emasculating him. I'm not sure if you're aware of the impact of emasculating a man. Lets see, he loses interest in you, starts to resent you, and loses sexual desire for you. Then women complain about their man's lack of desire for them. LOL! If that's what you want, go for it.
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 78
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/28/2013 5:43:16 PM
No man wants to be walking around with a woman on his arms that half the city's men have been with. You're fooling yourself if you think otherwise. I don't know any MEN who want to be that fool.


Very much this. It's always nice to run into two other guys your girl "dated" when you make a quick trip to the grocery store.


Also, I was reading something this week that talked about the average woman today having had more sex partners than her man. Not only that but the more sex partners a woman has, the harder it is for her to be satisfied.


There have been studies done that show a bond is created when you have sex with someone. According to some of these studies, this bond becomes more and more difficult to create when a person has more sexual partners.

I was always told that women are the emotional ones in a relationship. Here we are listening to women say that men should be cool with them sleeping around with a bunch of guys. To me, this just cheapens what I may have with a woman to know she she had the same thing with 23q4873264 guys before me. I remember when people used to say sex was special. Meh.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 79
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/28/2013 7:14:37 PM

How many women would still not care if a man's number is zero? Don't they ultimately wonder about why it would be zero, instead of it being whatever number that it is?

Not enough for it to be a dealbreaker - I'd be curious, sure. The less a man's had the more trainable he is...so I'm all for it.

No man wants to be walking around with a woman on his arms that half the city's men have been with. You're fooling yourself if you think otherwise. I don't know any MEN who want to be that fool.

That's unlikely and unrealistic - dating virgins or skipping dating would solve this problem. Move to a really big city, or move after each breakup.

Also, I was reading something this week that talked about the average woman today having had more sex partners than her man. Not only that but the more sex partners a woman has, the harder it is for her to be satisfied.

I doubt things are any different now than years ago except that people are more open about it. I say the more sexual partners a woman's had the more accurately she knows what works for her. Obviously a woman who knows nothing about sex is easier to satisfy because she expects nothing, so if that's the route you're going...I'm at a loss.

What "many men" are not communicating effectively is that they want a woman that they teach to become sexual uninhibited and aggressive for them, not one that comes that way. Unless they're just looking for some fun in the sheets. How can women not know these things?

If it's not explained this way, we can't know it. Perhaps men should be better at explaining this. Why should we take it any other way except how it's put on the table - assuming this is really what men are saying, that is.

A lot of women like you

Women like her? What does this mean?

still don't understand that attacking a man's ego = emasculating him. I'm not sure if you're aware of the impact of emasculating a man. Lets see, he loses interest in you, starts to resent you, and loses sexual desire for you. Then women complain about their man's lack of desire for them. LOL! If that's what you want, go for it.

We're not attacking anyone's ego - we're trying to get men to stop working from it. It's ego that makes men want a woman who's never been with anyone else, yet has/can learn everything from him. It's just not a realistic way to approach things. Perhaps an ego won't be crushed if some humility and realism was considered.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 80
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/28/2013 8:07:10 PM

What "many men" are not communicating effectively is that they want a woman that they teach to become sexual uninhibited and aggressive for them, not one that comes that way.


At 29 years of age, how do you expect to find a woman in your age bracket that doesn't have sexual experience????

Pretty sure "many men" pretty much means you and a small number of men like you.....
because I have yet to meet a man in the past 20 years that feels that way!!
I personally don't know one man that has every stated he was looking for an inhibited woman!! LOL
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 81
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/28/2013 8:18:48 PM
Not enough for it to be a dealbreaker - I'd be curious, sure. The less a man's had the more trainable he is...so I'm all for it.


If you're with a man that has been with 348732476 women, you're probably just going to become 348732477 on his way to....well, you get the point I hope.


That's unlikely and unrealistic - dating virgins or skipping dating would solve this problem. Move to a really big city, or move after each breakup.


Or, a guy can date a woman that doesn't sleep around. While they aren't as easy to find as they once were, they are still out there.


We're not attacking anyone's ego - we're trying to get men to stop working from it. It's ego that makes men want a woman who's never been with anyone else, yet has/can learn everything from him. It's just not a realistic way to approach things. Perhaps an ego won't be crushed if some humility and realism was considered.


It's not unrealistic to expect women to not sleep around. Not all women do, but I've noticed a lot of the ones that are still single these days do.
 SuperSaiyanGoku
Joined: 3/18/2013
Msg: 83
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/28/2013 8:48:30 PM

That's unlikely and unrealistic - dating virgins or skipping dating would solve this problem. Move to a really big city, or move after each breakup.


Ok lets try to use logic here instead of emotions. It isn't logical, nor likely, or realistic that someone is going to move to a bigger city or move after each breakup or when they stop seeing someone they use to sleep with.


I say the more sexual partners a woman's had the more accurately she knows what works for her. Obviously a woman who knows nothing about sex is easier to satisfy because she expects nothing, so if that's the route you're going...I'm at a loss.



Well "I say" having more sexual partners doesn't equate to a woman more accurately knowing what she wants. A woman with few partners that has had more sex overall is more likely to know what she likes and doesn't like. You're going extreme talking about a woman who knows nothing about sex and I'm not sure whether you mean a virgin. I'm talking more along the lines of a woman who's been with say 20 men vs 75 men. So using the number of partners as a way to say a woman would "more accurately knows what works for her" sounds more like a justification to yourself. Dig deep into your subconscious mind and be honest with whether are not you feel a need to defend your "number". That's what your statement tells me.


If it's not explained this way, we can't know it. Perhaps men should be better at explaining this. Why should we take it any other way except how it's put on the table - assuming this is really what men are saying, that is.


I just communicated it effectively for all the women who view this thread. I can assure that most men who are looking for long-term relationships/marriage don't really want a woman that has really been out there sexually. What can they share sexually with her that she hasn't experienced with some other man? UGH! No thanks.


Women like her? What does this mean?


Women who still don't understand the importance of the male ego to a man aka letting a man feel like a man. She talks about the male ego like it's something that can be treated any kind of way, tossed away, retrieved and then everything should be hunky dory. A lot of women emasculate their men, or men they are dating and are not even aware of it. Then they wonder why he's so distant, why is he not interested, or "what's wrong with him".



We're not attacking anyone's ego - we're trying to get men to stop working from it. It's ego that makes men want a woman who's never been with anyone else, yet has/can learn everything from him. It's just not a realistic way to approach things. Perhaps an ego won't be crushed if some humility and realism was considered.


*Sigh* I don't have the time to go into detail with you and explain the sexual evolution of men and women. If you had an understanding, you would understand why a man's ego is so important to his self-identification as a man. Let me try to lay it out for you in a way that you might understand it. Asking a man to run on his ego is like asking a woman to not run on her emotions most of the time and use logic most of the time.

Read The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature. It's by Geoffrey Miller. I KNOW it will help improve your understanding how men and women function in mate selection and it will improve your relationship with your "man".
 SuperSaiyanGoku
Joined: 3/18/2013
Msg: 84
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/28/2013 8:51:58 PM

Pretty sure "many men" pretty much means you and a small number of men like you.....
because I have yet to meet a man in the past 20 years that feels that way!!
I personally don't know one man that has every stated he was looking for an inhibited woman!! LOL



ROFL! Ask them if they would be looking for a slut to settle down with. LOL!
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 85
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/28/2013 8:55:06 PM
What can they share sexually with her that she hasn't experienced with some other man?

Themselves.
The present moment.
Their love.
Their trust and vulnerability.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 87
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/29/2013 2:04:33 AM

Ok lets try to use logic here instead of emotions. It isn't logical, nor likely, or realistic that someone is going to move to a bigger city or move after each breakup or when they stop seeing someone they use to sleep with.

Then it should be logical (who's using emotion here, I don't know) that women you date now have dated before. To want one that's pure until you get hold of her is a fantastic dream to have, but it's not realistic to what is actually out there. However if you really want to make it happen you'd date women who've never dated, stop dating, move after each breakup or live somewhere there are so many people you don't run into exes. If you want to be more realistic, you date and get over the fact that you're not the first.

Well "I say" having more sexual partners doesn't equate to a woman more accurately knowing what she wants. A woman with few partners that has had more sex overall is more likely to know what she likes and doesn't like. You're going extreme talking about a woman who knows nothing about sex and I'm not sure whether you mean a virgin. I'm talking more along the lines of a woman who's been with say 20 men vs 75 men. So using the number of partners as a way to say a woman would "more accurately knows what works for her" sounds more like a justification to yourself. Dig deep into your subconscious mind and be honest with whether are not you feel a need to defend your "number". That's what your statement tells me.

This has nothing to do with me. How often does someone (knowingly or not) run into a woman who's slept with 75 men? If so, does she have a job or a life? Sleeping with that many men can be time consuming. OK, let's assume the other extreme of someone who's never had sex (yes, that's a virgin) is 75+ men - which rarely happens. The middle of the road would be 40ish tops. All that should matter regardless is your health isn't at risk, and that she's with you now. If you're meeting women who've slept with 75 or more men, I have to wonder where you're hanging out.

I just communicated it effectively for all the women who view this thread.

Oh you spoke for all men? How nice of you.

I can assure that most men who are looking for long-term relationships/marriage don't really want a woman that has really been out there sexually. What can they share sexually with her that she hasn't experienced with some other man? UGH! No thanks.

Who cares? Each couple is unique to themselves. Do men really think they are the first in history to do anything in bed with this woman or any other? The point is that the current couple do what works for them together, which in and out of the bedroom is different than the couples they were both part of in the past - and no one's reinventing the wheel when it comes to sex, sorry. Why do they have to? The point really is that the person you are with now you're more into than the ones you were with before, so old becomes new again (unless you feel the need to worry about where the other's been, which does nothing but drive a wedge in your current relationship).

Women who still don't understand the importance of the male ego to a man aka letting a man feel like a man. She talks about the male ego like it's something that can be treated any kind of way, tossed away, retrieved and then everything should be hunky dory. A lot of women emasculate their men, or men they are dating and are not even aware of it. Then they wonder why he's so distant, why is he not interested, or "what's wrong with him".

I don't ask questions like that so I can't relate - but what is letting a man be a man? That will depend on who you ask. Men are physically and biologically different than us, and have some different brain process. That's enough to make them who they are - no one's taking that from them. Beyond that, what makes a man "a man" in your opinion?

*Sigh* I don't have the time to go into detail with you and explain the sexual evolution of men and women.

Good, because it doesn't really have much to do with what's going on now.

If you had an understanding, you would understand why a man's ego is so important to his self-identification as a man.

I understand it, and believe it's provincial. That's a lot of programming passed down since the early 1900s. It's not as much of an identifier of self worth as it's been taught to be.

Let me try to lay it out for you in a way that you might understand it. Asking a man to run on his ego is like asking a woman to not run on her emotions most of the time and use logic most of the time.

Since I don't run on my emotions and prefer logic, I guess I'll have to ask you to use another comparison. I personally believe reacting from emotion (especially when dealing with non life or death things like dating, etc) is pretty non-productive and I won't defend people who do it. Since I can function without being typically emotionally female, I'm sure men can stop basing everything on their egos. I kind of think the male ego thing is an excuse to keep us catering, same as the emotion thing is an excuse to keep men doing whatever it is emotion is supposed to do.

Read The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature. It's by Geoffrey Miller. I KNOW it will help improve your understanding how men and women function in mate selection and it will improve your relationship with your "man".

The title of that book alone tells me it's not going to be more than entertaining. The whole "drive to mate" thing isn't a theory I subscribe to - hopefully it's not based on that theory. But heck, I'll throw it on my summer reading list.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 88
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/29/2013 5:31:47 AM

ROFL! Ask them if they would be looking for a slut to settle down with. LOL!.

At what point is a woman defined a slut?
2 or 3 a year? 2 or 3 a month?
What if she slept with 20 men in the first year after her divorce, but hadn't slept with a man since?

"Numbers" do not always tell the whole story, nor do they define a person's (woman or man's) abilities in the bedroom.



I've been in the situation of being in a room with several men who have had sex with my G/F before I met her... including threesomes etc... Not the most fun experience..


And it would be easy to presume this has probably happened to one of your girlfriends at some point too.... especially since you admit your numbers are "up there".
If you live in the same area for long, it would be impossible to not run into your SO's ex's.
It's how you handle it that defines you.
 SuperSaiyanGoku
Joined: 3/18/2013
Msg: 89
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/29/2013 6:40:19 AM

Then it should be logical (who's using emotion here, I don't know) that women you date now have dated before. To want one that's pure until you get hold of her is a fantastic dream to have, but it's not realistic to what is actually out there. However if you really want to make it happen you'd date women who've never dated, stop dating, move after each breakup or live somewhere there are so many people you don't run into exes. If you want to be more realistic, you date and get over the fact that you're not the first.


You keep bringing up a woman who's "pure" or never dated. I'm not talking about being her "first". No matter how women need to spin it in their heads to make themselves feel better, no man wants to be with a woman long-term if she has been around the block. You're right, it's not realistic to expect to find a woman who hasn't been around the block because more have than haven't. I'm not even going to address your other posts. You're clearly a woman who knows more about men then men themselves. Ha!

Would you rather have a newer used car with low mileage or a used car with high mileage and lots of wear & tear?

I'm done with this thread. LOL!
 Caseyjones4
Joined: 8/26/2013
Msg: 90
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/29/2013 7:29:08 AM
Well yes a number can tell you a lot about a person.

If you are with somebody in their 30's who has been married most of their adult life yet has had 50 partners you can kind of draw conclusions...

Promiscuous women are ok for dating but for long term relationships I would prefer a women who is on the prude side. That isn't saying that she has to be a virgin but 20 something sexual partners by age 30 and I'm not bringing you home to meet my mother, that is for sure.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 93
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/29/2013 7:55:49 AM
Funny but most men I have dated never even ask the question? I think perhaps that comes with being the age I am at. At this point, we all know that there has been a sexual history on both parts. What matters most is the here and now far as I am concerned. I was actually a bit surprised at some of the comments here. Like no one has had a sexual past? Really....lol
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 94
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/29/2013 8:37:20 AM

Once again, I'd be tempted to turn the question around to adjust the perspective - Do you care about a man's number?

I’ve already stated my response on this. I don’t care what the number is. I care if he’s been using safer sex practices.


How many women would still not care if a man's number is zero? Don't they ultimately wonder about why it would be zero, instead of it being whatever number that it is?

It would be rather strange to run in to a man who’s number was zero at my age. I’ve been with a small number of guys who’s number was zero… it never mattered to me. It did make me do things differently with them though.


No man wants to be walking around with a woman on his arms that half the city's men have been with. You're fooling yourself if you think otherwise. I don't know any MEN who want to be that fool.

So you speak for all of the men in the world now? Good to know…


Also, I was reading something this week that talked about the average woman today having had more sex partners than her man.

Generally speaking, in my long-term relationships, I’ve generally had more partners than my male partners. My first fiancé was a virgin when we met (he was 18, I was 19). I wasn’t. My ex husband was a virgin when we met (he was 23 turning 24, I was 26). My last LTR of 5 years was also 23 when we met (I was 39), but had been in several relationships and had several bedmates. My current guy is 26.

Do you see my point here?


Not only that but the more sex partners a woman has, the harder it is for her to be satisfied.

Really? I beg to differ. The sex I’m having now as a mature, educated, experienced woman who knows what it takes to satisfy her is hands down far superior to the sex I was having as a 20 something woman who’s insecurities and inhibitions ruled her world.


What "many men" are not communicating effectively is that they want a woman that they teach to become sexual uninhibited and aggressive for them, not one that comes that way. Unless they're just looking for some fun in the sheets. How can women not know these things?

Perhaps in your little world, this is how it is… or what YOU want. This has not been my experience at all.


A lot of women like you still don't understand that attacking a man's ego = emasculating him. I'm not sure if you're aware of the impact of emasculating a man. Let’s see, he loses interest in you, starts to resent you, and loses sexual desire for you. Then women complain about their man's lack of desire for them. LOL! If that's what you want, go for it.

Spoken like a man who let’s his ego control his actions.
And this, ladies and gentlemen…

Or, a guy can date a woman that doesn't sleep around. While they aren't as easy to find as they once were, they are still out there.

And this..

It's not unrealistic to expect women to not sleep around. Not all women do, but I've noticed a lot of the ones that are still single these days do

And this..

Ok... Seems to me, that men have been preferring women with less partners for years... yet women still don't seem to understand why...

And this..

ROFL! Ask them if they would be looking for a slut to settle down with. LOL!

Are all prime examples of slut shaming. Well done, gentlemen. Carrying on the stereotype that women shouldn’t be enjoying their sexuality like men have done for thousands of years. Why are you so challenged by a woman doing what men have done?


Women who still don't understand the importance of the male ego to a man aka letting a man feel like a man.

You know, my dad raised me to be an independent woman. Taught me how to use power tools, do small home repairs. Taught me how to maintain my ’66 Mustang. Then he told me when I got married to “leave stuff for your husband to do.. to feel like the man.” I laughed. And then I followed his advice. He’s my dad after all, he’s never lead me astray.

So my “manly man” (now ex)husband refused to put in the air conditioner during the hottest time of the summer, so I hauled it up the stairs from the basement and installed it.. 7 months pregnant. I’d been asking for a month for him to do it.

Then this “manly man”, when asked to help me put the crib down to a lower level so our spawn didn’t fall out, said “I’ll get to it.” Three weeks later I did it myself because that child.. fell out of the crib… twice.

I don’t invite egotistical boys into my bed. I don’t invite c*cky boys into my bed. I invite humble, considerate, respectful, honest, loyal, generous, willing, eager, sweet, mature, balanced MEN into my bed. And if they aren’t complete a$$es about how many men I’ve slept with, I invite them to stay.

WHO determines what number is good enough, while one more than that is too many? Do those men who state that they don’t want a woman that sleeps around, follow that same rule for themselves?

Is there a predetermined number of times we are allowed to have sex in our lifetimes? I failed to get that memo I think.

I don’t “sleep around”. I do enjoy sex. I will enjoy sex with whomever I want, should I want to. I decided about 25 years ago that I wasn’t going to live my life feeling guilty about the things I do when it comes to my sex life. I decided to “live like a man”. Any man that doesn’t like it is welcome to walk the other way. I won’t be hurt by that. We probably wouldn’t be compatible in the bedroom anyway, seeing as how I prefer my men to be more open minded about things.

The double standard of men being allowed to pursue and enjoy any and all that they want while women need to sit chastely at home and wait to be chosen needs to come to an end.

What happens in my bedroom doesn’t affect anyone outside of my bedroom, just like what happens in someone else’s bedroom doesn’t affect me.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 95
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/29/2013 11:53:05 AM
If you're already in 'the moment' - naked and ready -- pardon the pun, but nobody gives a f*k how you got there - they're just thinking about what comes next. (Whoops - pardon the pun again)

All this crap in here - male and female - is coming from a source of fear. Everybody wants a 'sure thing' and is frankly CHICKEN to take a risk on possibly finding a 'great thing'. What I mean is that people are ALWAYS in here trying to find shortcuts to finding out information about their prospective partners WITHOUT even attempting to ask them directly. People do (or don't) want to know their partner's 'number' because frankly, they're afraid to trust them (or they're afraid to lose what little trust they may have).

Confidence and trust is what makes sex work, and you're gonna need that regardless of whether or not you know their 'number'. Knowing that kind of inside information isn't going to magically mean you are more-than-capable of doing the job, because every damn encounter is different, and is dependent upon a LOT more conditions than just disclosing a 'number'.

I lost my virginity with an older woman who already had two kids, so suffice it to say she was more 'experienced' -- but when I was around her, I was completely confident and sure I could do the job. I didn't care how may partners she had, and I didn't say anything about myself -- I was IN the moment. After a few dates (and nights) I revealed it had been my first time - and SHE was completely stunned - I rocked her world.

You really have no idea what may happen in the bedroom, so being safe and doing your due diligence is a good idea --- but knowing that number doesn't mean diddly-squat. EVER. I suppose people will feel the need to know no matter what -- but just like spiking her panties on the ground and doing a naked touchdown dance afterwards --- does it REALLY matter in the long run?!? Seriously?
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 96
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History
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/29/2013 12:10:17 PM
I dont understand why anyone would ask the other person about the number. Comparison? Why would I want to compare one to another? No matter what a man's number was, it was the totality of the relationship that I cared about. And each relationship is going to be different. I don't think the differences in the relationships would be because the men had different numbers.

To me, there are so many more things that are so much more important than the person's number...
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 97
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History
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/29/2013 1:22:29 PM
In my opinion, concerns with matters like this are age group related. Most women in my age group were running around naked at "Woodstock" during the "free love" mentality of the sixties and seventies. The only advantage I could see in her offering up her numbers, would be knowing she was capable of advanced math and salvaged a degree of memory in spite of the drugs.LOL
 Visionaryone
Joined: 5/16/2013
Msg: 98
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/29/2013 2:40:25 PM
Would you rather have a newer used car with low mileage or a used car with high mileage and lots of wear & tear?


I guess my question to this is how would a man know how many men a woman has been with, ir how promiscuous she has been unless he asks her? And at that point the two of you are having the numbers talk, so out out fairness shouldn't the man share his number too? Then my next question is, if you don't ask her number, how else would you know a woman has been 'around the block'? It seems these days that men don't want a woman that's too slutty or too inexperienced (I watched an episode of 'The Game' where this guy was actually MAD at a girl he slept with because she was a virgin!)Then there's the threads where men are saying if a woman is not 'putting out' after a certain amount of time, that they don't want to deal with the woman!

So the requirements are to have partners but not too many partners, experience but not too much experience, put out but not too soon and not too late, and forget about not putting out at all?? That's a heck of alot of demands on the woman!
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 99
view profile
History
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 8/29/2013 2:55:02 PM

If you're already in 'the moment' - naked and ready -- pardon the pun, but nobody gives a f*k how you got there - they're just thinking about what comes next. (Whoops - pardon the pun again)

If??? Shouldn't that be when? Hehe..


All this crap in here - male and female - is coming from a source of fear. Everybody wants a 'sure thing' and is frankly CHICKEN to take a risk on possibly finding a 'great thing'. What I mean is that people are ALWAYS in here trying to find shortcuts to finding out information about their prospective partners WITHOUT even attempting to ask them directly. People do (or don't) want to know their partner's 'number' because frankly, they're afraid to trust them (or they're afraid to lose what little trust they may have).

I kind of agree, and kind of don't agree with this. I'm not afraid of the number. I don't ask because I'm afraid. I simply don't ask because it's irrelevant to me. I don't care how many he's been with before me, I only care that he's with me now. In the moment.

I don't ask for the number. I am often told the number anyway. I stopped counting because it seemed like an incredibly juvenile thing to do.


Confidence and trust is what makes sex work, and you're gonna need that regardless of whether or not you know their 'number'. Knowing that kind of inside information isn't going to magically mean you are more-than-capable of doing the job, because every damn encounter is different, and is dependent upon a LOT more conditions than just disclosing a 'number'.

This kind of thinking is highly attractive to me. Seriously.


I lost my virginity with an older woman who already had two kids, so suffice it to say she was more 'experienced' -- but when I was around her, I was completely confident and sure I could do the job. I didn't care how may partners she had, and I didn't say anything about myself -- I was IN the moment. After a few dates (and nights) I revealed it had been my first time - and SHE was completely stunned - I rocked her world.

Confidence... not c*ckiness. Sexy as f*ck. I didn't find out until much later that my ex-husband was a virgin the first night we had sex. I had no clue.


You really have no idea what may happen in the bedroom, so being safe and doing your due diligence is a good idea --- but knowing that number doesn't mean diddly-squat. EVER. I suppose people will feel the need to know no matter what -- but just like spiking her panties on the ground and doing a naked touchdown dance afterwards --- does it REALLY matter in the long run?!? Seriously?

Keep this up and I might have to ditch my boy toy for you... *wink*
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