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 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 281
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Do you care about a womans number ?Page 9 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
[headshaking]Oh geez...how easily participants get lost in competitive head-butting and what they don't really mean to say and what other's aren't really saying...but they are, but not quite...sigh...[/headshaking]
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 282
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/2/2013 7:30:35 AM

It's really not the numbers that matter... it's the WHY of the numbers that matters the most..


I actually agree with this!!
BUT.....I think there are many ways to learn this without asking "how many"

Asking "how many" only leads to assumptions......when good old fashioned conversation about life in general leads to actual understanding of someone's outlook on many different topics.

I much prefer to know how a date handles an adult sexual conversation....does he turn into a blithering teenager when the word "sex" is brought up? Does he use derogatory terms when referring to women, especially women that are in control of their own sexuality? Does he brag about his size or abilities? What are his thoughts on oral sex? etc...

And.......I will never agree that past behavior is a complete indicator of future behavior........some people do actually grow up and learn from their past!! I do believe that "Attitude" is a much better indicator of future behavior!
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 283
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/2/2013 10:50:34 AM
^^^^Agree as well.
Low numbers, high...it's all about the person and if they have discovered what they are looking for.

My current GF is no stranger to men as I am no stranger to women.
I dont see how I can hold that against her if I have been highly adventurous. At my age I expect women to have been adventurous and explored.
Were not 20 anymore.
We have a ride that has seen some miles. Some good, some bad.
So I tend to look at this experience as a positive, especially if it was hgher in the earlier times in their life.

This is just an opinion, but I think men who are scared of high numbers arent very secure in their sexuality.
 257815
Joined: 3/29/2013
Msg: 284
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/2/2013 4:01:05 PM
A guy sleeps with lots of women.......He is a Stud!

A woman sleeps with lots of guys.....She is a Whore!

I don't have a problem being known as a Stud!..........But I don't think I would want to be known as a Whore???
 NCnavetG8r
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 285
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/5/2013 9:14:25 AM
As someone already said, I'm WAY more concerned with a woman's state of health (disease free), than the number of men she's slept with. An ex-escort who's practiced disciplined safe sex could make a better long term prospect than a lot of women I've known.

It's about chemistry and compatibility, not numbers. Get tested, then if the waters are safe, have fun together.
 dragonman90
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 286
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/5/2013 1:32:17 PM
no i dont care about womans numbers
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 287
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/5/2013 5:19:26 PM
I love how people almost insist that everyone else has to be accepting of their choices in life. They're your choices, why do you need everyone to say it's ok?

Here's my take on it. I don't want to be with a woman who has slept around too much. That's my choice. I don't care if anyone here agrees or disagrees with it. They live their own lives and make their own choices. Clueless people can call it insecure, juvenile, or whatever, I don't care about that either. Different people have different priorities. If a woman wants to sleep with a different guy every night, have gang bangs with strangers, I don't care. Has nothing to do with me. Her life, her choice. Still, I'm not going to date her.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 289
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/6/2013 8:46:20 AM

There are a lot of men who are going to say they don't care about a woman's numbers... and that's fine too...
Let's face it, if you have no long term intentions with the woman... aside from STD risk and perhaps the "ick" factor..., you're not going to care who she's been with, how many or what she's done... Afterall, with no plans to keep her why would anyone care...?.


The hypocrisy level is outstanding in here!!

Oh....I'll fuk her and add to her (and my) number....but I don't have any romantic interest in her.
Talk about misogyny at it's finest!
What a blatant disrespect for women.......
Seriously.....ugh!
 Visionaryone
Joined: 5/16/2013
Msg: 290
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/6/2013 2:35:47 PM
if you have no long term intentions with the woman.


Afterall, with no plans to keep her why would anyone care...?


Wow!! Now it's assumed that men who say they don't care about a woman's sexual number would never settle down with or desire anything a woman has to offer outside the bedroom if she sleeps/slept around, because why would they want to?? Correct me if I am wrong but that is what I am reading in your comment. So I guess every man on this thread that says they don't care is not really being truthful because if YOU and your friends care about a woman's numbers then every man should too! Can somebody say high school mentality!!
 Visionaryone
Joined: 5/16/2013
Msg: 293
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/6/2013 4:56:53 PM

Well, other than a good attempt to make it all about whether or not she sleeps/slept around... you're wrong about what I said...


Isn't that what this thread is about?? So then let's do it this way-WHY, out of all scenarios, would you use the 'if he has no intentions of staying with her' statement? What man on this thread that said they don't care about a woman's number also made reference to the fact that they don't have intentions of keeping a woman? So where did that come from then? One can only assess that because YOU were the first man to make that statement on a thread about a woman's number, that in fact, that is why YOU would not keep a woman around long term. I can't imagine that a grown behind man who doesn't know a soul on this site would care if he was politicaly correct about his comment!What would one have to gain by lying about what they are commenting about??! To impress who??
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 294
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/6/2013 5:55:33 PM
Do you care about a womans number ?

Yea, because without it, I won't be able to call her and ask her out on a date.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 296
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/6/2013 7:40:18 PM

Well, other than a good attempt to make it all about whether or not she sleeps/slept around... you're wrong about what I said...
I said if he has no intention of staying with her... I didn't say why...
He might not want to stay with her for an almost infinite range of reasons... maybe she has annoying kids... a squeaky voice... maybe she's a heavy drinker... maybe she's a dumb as a post... maybe she can't hold down a job... maybe one of them is going to be moving... or maybe religious or political reasons...
as I said, many reasons to not stay with her... But that doesn't rule out having a short term relationship, or perhaps a casual relationship....

and none of that has anything to do with what you said.....



Let's face it, if you have no long term intentions with the woman... aside from STD risk and perhaps the "ick" factor..., you're not going to care who she's been with, how many or what she's done..


You clearly stated even though there is an "ick" factor......they'd still have sex with her.

Misogyny.....Madonna/Whore Complex.....or just plain douche bag.......take your pick!

It is one thing to have casual sex with someone without there being "long term" goals.....
quite another to basically label a woman as "icky" and still screw her.

Doria...I'm quite aware of many things.....
but I will never consider men to be "wired" to do anything........it's all about choices, plain and simple.
There are many that "choose" to not be this way...
Luckily, I found one that doesn't feel the need to have these double standards!!
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 297
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/7/2013 1:54:54 PM
It's quite amusing that on a subject like this, only men get accused of holding double standards. It's not a double standard, it's just a standard. I don't want to be with a woman who has been with too many men, that's a standard I have set. If women choose not to hold men to a similar standard, that is not my problem.

People can't expect everyone they meet to approve of all of their choices.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 298
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/7/2013 2:37:59 PM
Who says only men have double standards?

And it is a double standard when any person (man or woman) thinks they can sleep with as many people as they please....but have an issue if someone they are dating has done the same.
 cleverpaws
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 299
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/7/2013 3:14:05 PM
That sounds like a whole bunch of "EGO" talking there!!!... you sound selfish!!! Why shouldn't a women be able to tell you what she likes??? You should be ASKING her what she like!!!! and if "what she likes does not do it for it for yeah ".... TELL HER WHAT DOES!!!! And the young girl....the one that is happy with "whatever" if you stay with her... in one year...she will be telling you what she likes to!!! to me... it's a win, win situation!!! have fun
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 300
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/7/2013 5:09:19 PM

Who says only men have double standards?

And it is a double standard when any person (man or woman) thinks they can sleep with as many people as they please....but have an issue if someone they are dating has done the same.


Does this apply to everything? If so, why do many fat women refuse to date fat guys? Why do unemployed people insist their partner have a job? People want what they want. If I meet a woman who refuses to date me because of the amount of people I've been with, that's up to her. I've never run into that problem. I have, however, had to turn a few women down for sleeping around.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 301
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/7/2013 6:00:21 PM

Does this apply to everything? If so, why do many fat women refuse to date fat guys? Why do unemployed people insist their partner have a job? People want what they want. If I meet a woman who refuses to date me because of the amount of people I've been with, that's up to her. I've never run into that problem. I have, however, had to turn a few women down for sleeping around.


Yes it does apply to everything. As many fat guys refuse to date fat women. Just because people "want what they want", does not make it any less of a double standard. What I would like to know is why it is okay for you to have a high number but not for a woman? (Other than the good old double standard)
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 304
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/7/2013 7:23:40 PM
^^^you cannot be a guy who formerly had high numbers.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 305
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/7/2013 8:18:13 PM
Those analogies fell way short m church!!
Comparing smoking and drinking to sex.....is one damn far reach!!

what you are implying is that it isn't a double standard for a "former" man whore to reject a woman for having just as high a number!
When....in fact....it would be the definition of "double standard" in a nut shell!!

I am in now way saying people aren't allowed to have preferences....
what I am saying is....judging someone on "numbers" is a lose/lose situation.
You look like a loser for asking......and you lose out on the possibility of a great relationship because you will never be able to get passed the "number"......because the number itself will only lead to assumptions and more questions that aren't anyone's business!
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 306
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/7/2013 9:39:25 PM

Women seems to be ok with men having high numbers, yet they blame the men for not being.... how odd... women could just as easily decide they don't want to date men with high numbers... (And truthfully, I could make a pretty good argument for why they should...)

From my experience over the years, women do have problems with guys having too high a number. They don't ask the number question to see how big of a stud ya are. :) Nor is it to make sure you're not a virgin (unless you're 21 & under).

I think once past college age, they do care. They're not fans of male-sluts.

I think the whole thing is that women just get a worse rep, that's all. But that's in large part due to females and their effects on culture/society. There's no shortage of women who hiss at other women who have high #s (or seemingly do because they look better and are getting guy attention).

If a former smoker refused to date smokers would that be a double standard too...?

No. A double-standard would be a current smoker refusing to date a smoker... but better put, a smoker who looks down on other smokers (hence, not wanting to date them). Replace that with drinking too much, too. Or fat.

The "#" is the stigma that sticks with you culturally. The notch in the belt that stays. And it would still be there (albeit lowering some) if there was a cure-all for everything from a cold to every STD.

It's of your past. I think it lessens if you let someone know "Yeah, back in college I went on a sleeping binge..." where all the numbers were collected far in the past. Besides clumping it together, your # has a long half life.

That's why a better question would be how many people have you slept with, outside a relationship, in the last couple years?

And also:
The Average # of men that women have slept with, is THE SAME as the Average # of women that men have slept with. (It's called math when the # of men & women is essentially the same)

Funny how those surveys always have men's #s significantly higher, right? :)

People lie about their "number" anyway.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 307
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/8/2013 7:33:23 AM

Yes it does apply to everything. As many fat guys refuse to date fat women. Just because people "want what they want", does not make it any less of a double standard.

That's not a double standard, it's a preference. A double standard would be if a fat man that dates skinny women told a fat woman she wasn't allowed to date skinny men.


That's why a better question would be how many people have you slept with, outside a relationship, in the last couple years?

No, it's not. People who engage in NSA/ONS don't have relationships, don't necessarily have high numbers either.

It isn't the number that matters, it really isn't. It's how SAFE you've been, what your STD status is. Someone who's been married (monogamously) to a cheating partner (non-monogamous) probably has a higher risk of contracting STDs than someone who has multiple partners in an open relationship. The difference? Honesty and communication.


And also:
The Average # of men that women have slept with, is THE SAME as the Average # of women that men have slept with. (It's called math when the # of men & women is essentially the same)

I honestly think your math is off here. In a group of 10 men and 10 women (20 total), chances are the numbers will vary widely, and that will only increase as the total number of the group increases. Example.. I'm a woman that has been having sex for a long time. My partner has not. Our numbers do not match. That's with a sample population of 2 people. My former partner had less than me too. The man I married? I was his only partner at that point. Some where in the world there will be someone else who has exactly the same number of partners that I've had. Chances of us having sex together is relatively slim.


Funny how those surveys always have men's #s significantly higher, right? :)

People lie about their "number" anyway.

There are a lot of men that lie about their number, and there are probably a lot of women that lie about theirs as well. I don't lie about mine. Ever. I just stopped worrying about it and keeping track over 20 years ago.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 308
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Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/8/2013 9:15:39 AM
Hell, I was a 30 yr old virgin, and almost celebate now. So I'm screwed. Pun intended?
 Beauregard63
Joined: 7/15/2013
Msg: 309
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/8/2013 9:33:55 AM
If the only thing that matters is that the number of STD's you have is zero and the number of people you are planning on having sex with is the one you are with then the number of people you have had sex with is unimportant.

From an STD point of view your number is the number of people you have had sex with plus the number of people all your partners had sex with and all the way down to the bottom of the pyramid.

A person who has had only one sexual partner could be exposed to tens of thousands of other people if there were enough people in the pyramid with high numbers.
 Visionaryone
Joined: 5/16/2013
Msg: 310
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/8/2013 5:12:36 PM
What I guess I find the most interesting is that the now two men on this thread that are adamant about their choice of not dating women who sleep around STILL have yet to reveal that magic number! Is that because it's none if our business gentlemen? I mean to me if you are going to go to the ends of the world to defend yourselves, why wouldn't you just share the number because one would think that you definitely have a number in mind. Now personally for me I think my number is on the high side because I was was a little experimental in my 20's but then when I have asked a couple girlfriends, their numbers were 100 and up so my numbers look waaaaaay better than theirs! So one number could be high to one person and low to another person....and I wholeheartedly agree with the poster that said you should probably think about putting that in your profiles!
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 311
Do you care about a womans number ?
Posted: 10/8/2013 5:26:52 PM
What are average and high numbers for men or women? IMO over 100 is definitely high, but what about 20? Very few talk about their numbers, so it's hard to know.

I can Google what people claim are average.

American woman. Recent CDC data shows that men between the ages of 25 and 44 reported having slept with a median of six women, while women in the same age bracket said they had slept with a median of four men. And while more than 27 percent of men ages 25 to 44 have had sex with more than 15 women, only about 10 percent of their female peers have had sex with more than 15 men.

Note that median isn't average. So you don't have to figure it out, if there are 3 men who's numbers are 2, 6,1000, then the median is 6. But the average is 33.6.

I never ask about a woman's number when I know it is high, but I have occasionally asked when I know it was low. Just more curious about that.

It's usually easy enough to tell if a woman has more or less than average numbers of lovers.

I am a talker and most women like to talk, I can ball park it after a while.

There is a difference in personality between women who have had more lovers than the median and those who had fewer. As well a difference with men, but I know less about men.

One differnce seems to be those with higher numbers tend to break off relationships quicker at a sign of something they don't like.
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