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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?      Home login  
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 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 26
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

My whole life I've never had a "type". Other than female.
It's very limiting.
I've dated all sorts of women from all sorts of backgrounds, heights, weights, colors.


substitute men for women and i've had the same experience as Procol - i've never had a "type".
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 27
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 10:06:28 AM
excellent point by dragonbits:


"It seemed like when we were younger, there was a lot more range of possibility."


Don't you think that is an illusion,that all those younger people over time became the type that you wouldn't want to be with? When young its more difficult to determine what traits are really predominate in another young person, but the traits are there even when young And those traits tend to just get stronger the older we get, which make them more obvious.


Indeed. And that is also part of why those of us who do "deviate from type" do so: because we learn something more. Sometimes even, as I did in some aspects, find that our "type" is actually bad for us, or has only seemed to be our "type," for the wrong reasons.
 fedexmale
Joined: 8/24/2013
Msg: 28
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 10:34:31 AM

There seem to be droves of musician-biker bad boy types with beards and 'staches


- From a guys' perspective, there seems to be a lot of beer-drinking, tattooed biker chicks on this site. Sounds like we have the same problem... minus the mustaches (I hope!)!

Seriously, you have to understand something about online dating... these dating sites are like the bottom of the barrel... a lot of these people have problems and are not exactly the catch of the day. Think about it... these people have to end up someplace. That said, as in every town, there are some good people around... and ultimately, you only need one.

But I have to ask... what's wrong with the retired golfers? The guy likes to play golf during the day and you don't, so what? Do what you want, then get together in the evening for dinner and a walk on the beach. What's wrong with that? If you are looking for someone to make your life, or for an activity partner, you are doing it wrong. Common interests have nothing to do with love. What you really should be looking for is mutual interest - in each other. Two people who are easy to get along with and actually attracted to each other can come up with plenty of things to do together. Do you smell the coffee date?!
 Sapphireeyes100
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 29
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 11:06:24 AM

Most of my contacts are from guys with zero personality or sense of humor, Duck Dynasty beards, straggly ponytails with bald heads and earrings, or guys wearing crocs and overalls with big beer guts. I'm never going to be that desperate.


I just dont get where some people think they are so awesome that it would make them *desperate to be with someone else who's LOOKS aren't that stellar....I mean this comment wasn't about educational level, job, position but simply looks --so many are stereotyping people based on their own perceived notions.

It would have been fine to say, this type of person doesn't interest me cause I can't get past their looks but to put yourself above them and then say something about having to be desperate is just so wrong...who are you to judge someone?

Women **** about men on here all the time putting down the looks of older women and Im seeing more women doing that than men now...I just don't get why...have we not progressed past the LOOKS department, have we not progressed past stereotyping people? Do I look at a man and think, oh he isnt for me...heck yea but I would never consider it to be desperation if I saw him with another woman.

Why is it the same people have to constant try and make themselves look better by putting the opposite sex down?
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 30
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 11:28:34 AM
I don't think of them as "types". I have to wonder, if we have "types" we look for and we are here looking because our last relationship floundered, what does that say about the "type" we are looking for? I've never looked for a type. There are things that will cause me to say nooo-like smoking or the guy who claimed to be a submissive trainer. I've dated white collar, blue collar, no collar, etc. College grads and High school dropouts. Long hair and no hair.

As for the current "market", I don't particularly care what they look like, how they wear their hair, etc. Their hobbies are somewhat important because I'd like to be with someone whose interests are similar to mine but I don't want to be joined at the hip so we don't have to be clones as far as interests go.

I just don't put labels on people. I also recognize that I am not the same as when I was younger, either (thank God). I can't really tell by looking at a picture or reading a profile whether someone is my "type" or not. I like men who are funny and intelligent. Those kinds of things don't necessarily show up in a profile or pics. I'm more interested in the way he acts. The way he treats me and others. Things of more depth than how he wears his hair.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 31
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 2:06:14 PM
That's interesting forumreaderisall that it was later in life that the untrustworthiness came up. To me, it all goes back to each person and situation being different.
Personally, I consider the midlife crisis excuse a cop out, but that's me. There are different types and levels of untrustworthiness, too. I would never ever be unfaithful. But I have been known to pull the price tag off a new dress and say "Wow, I have cannot remember the last time I wore this dress". I have no idea why I would do that, because he didn't care if I bought new stuff.
 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 32
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 3:20:39 PM
I might lean towards those gray haired pot smoking ladies ....once its legal that is. You know the type, the ones that love chickens like their own children.
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 33
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 3:23:19 PM
sapphireyes -- I'm not putting anyone down. I'm merely stating the type of men I find attractive do not contact me.

You're pretty quick to bash everything I post, but since you're so open and forgiving I'll send all those ponytailed, fat guys wearing crocs and overalls your way LMAO
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 34
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 4:13:17 PM
When every thing is said and done the old saying rings true . Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder , So some one who you think is attractive some one else might think is ugly and vice a versa . I always look at the eyes .
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 35
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 4:54:22 PM
From another thread - eyes is a euphemism for boobs.

Odd, because I actually look at the eyes.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 36
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 7:13:07 PM
Their personalities can be all over the map so in that way I have no "type". Typewise they need to be slender and have big boobs.
 Sapphireeyes100
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 37
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 7:50:25 PM

sapphireyes -- I'm not putting anyone down. I'm merely stating the type of men I find attractive do not contact me.

You're pretty quick to bash everything I post, but since you're so open and forgiving I'll send all those ponytailed, fat guys wearing crocs and overalls your way LMAO


Look at it this way...would you like the men you find attractive to consider dating you as them having to be desperate?

Not appealing to someone is one thing ...desperation is another and I won't bash what you post if you stop putting others down to try and make yourself look better cause it really makes you look ugly as can be.

..having a preference based on appearance is one thing...some people do have a certain look they like and their exes are all carbon copies of each other...others dont...no one is wrong or right it is simply a preference not desperation.
 actualizing
Joined: 9/3/2013
Msg: 38
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 8:13:04 PM
I believe that when I am with a person who can truly hear me when I speak and see me when they look at me, I will what to do the same back with them...and usually that is the beginning of a beautiful relationship, regardless of typology.
 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 39
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 9:26:15 PM
So would I deviate from my type? I could if they possessed the qualities I'm hoping to find. I know no one is perfect, but there are attributes I know I want in a partner. A better question might be would I deviate from the qualities I know I want in a partner? My answer would be, "Nope, I wouldn't."
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 40
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/15/2013 9:38:21 PM

Can't really say what would cause me to deviate. Not really sure anymore what I'm looking for in a woman (as opposed to knowing what I don't want) The only thing I know for sure is that when I see it I will know it.


+1 and I hope she will know it as well. I'm not sure anymore what my type is. If the woman is kind to me and others, has a good sense of humour, and we speak the same or similar "language" is a good start.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 41
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 5:14:18 AM

Those of us that don't have a type, don't necessarily subscribe to the any warm body will do theory of dating.
It just means that you can't line all of our ex's up in a line up and be confused about which one was which. They are all individuals with different things that attracted us, just not the same thing - like eye, skin, or hair colour...


that's it exactly...
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 42
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 7:41:13 AM

Walts, I was hoping to avoid the usual forums procedure of being put under the microscope and dissected for what others "see" in my question. I have shared and was asking for anyone responding in a way that wasn't quite so 'knee jerk".
We all know that bikers and golfers and musicians, are not all cut from the same cloth, blahblahblah...and people have different attributes that make them individuals...

I was asking for examples of what YOU forumites might consider to qualify someone for your mate, that isn't your usual "type".


I do believe what you are seeing with some of the replies here OP is that not ALL people qualify "types" such as your examples, which was kinda my point with my initial reply. Your examples, gave us a starting point of the discussion, and some of us have pointed out that isn't "our" way of defining "our" type. It ain't "knee jerk", and you shouldn't take it "personally", unless it does touch a nerve. If it does,maybe look or define your "type" a little differently. Some of us have already decided to do so. I don't know when I decided that my "type" wouldn't always be based on the "look" of a person but, their actions, reactions, how they "deal", etc within the society of which they live. I, in fact, don't have a clue how to "define" the "type" of person that I am attracted to, I just am. Attracted, that is.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 43
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 9:02:18 AM
I would say that as far as "types" so, it's more what I don't want than what I do want. The types of things I don't want cannot be gauged just by looking at a picture or a profile. Lying, cheating, etc....those types of things don't shine through.

Then again, as I have said, I prefer men who can make me laugh and who are intelligent. I "look" at each one individually rather than as a "type". Because they are individuals.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 44
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 3:20:10 PM
I might have a slightly more distinct look I notice first when interacting; but that is not the only type I will date.

I can find beauty in many different physical racial, ethnic or personality types; as long as there are a couple things that do grab me.

They have to have intelligence, they have to have amazing eyes (to me; don't care what color; just that they are warm, open and direct), they have to have some kind of a sense of humor; strong hands,

and they have to have curiosity about life and a heart for people and a desire to communicate and share that passion and curiosity.

They have those four things I don't care if their 30; 70, 5'3, 8', bald, redheaded, silver headed, white, black, Latino, a millionaire or a retired janitor.

I could literally care less what type they are surface.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 45
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 3:26:27 PM
I didn't think I had a type, but honestly, I never thought
I had to define what my type was.

I have learned, as I've gotten older, what I'm not attracted
to. I've also learned that we have to present ourselves in
such a way as to attract those we are attracted to.

Just as some guys are not attracted to longer hair, or shorter
hair or bad teeth or some extra weight, I'm not attracted to
long sort of bald scraggly pony tail hair, wicked overweight,
awful teeth, clothes that looked like they haven't been washed
in weeks and "retired" (meaning unemployed, living in a
basement apartment)

Not that there's anything wrong with any of the above.
After all, I'm no better than anyone else. :/

For whatever reason, those are the people that were messaging
me when I was active here. I don't get what it was about my
profile or my lifestyle that would suggest I'd be interested.
Unless of course it was because I was considered fat by POF
standards.

So my type is just ordinary and I'm not deviating from that.

Edit: I suppose I could have waxed poetic and all, but I went for
truthiness.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 46
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 6:14:51 PM
Intelligence, athleticism and shared values are important to me. I love sparkling eyes and witty banter. I am drawn to well groomed, intelligent, athletic men with a great sense of humor. Kindness and respect are essential.

I could never date a Republican, Tea Party, right-wing conservative, highly religious, racist or sexist man. Ditto smokers.

I feel repulsed by males with scraggly, grey ponytails, unkempt long beards, bushy handlebar mustaches (reminds me of Yosemite Sam), missing teeth and huge bellies. Can't imagine kissing that.
 HippyDippyWeatherman
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 47
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 7:02:16 PM
I'm going to have to think outside the box on my type. My two older sisters would beat me up when they caught me driving around the sandbox with a naked Barbie in the back of my Jeep pick-up truck. I understand that Barbie is potentially impossible but a guy shouldn't give up on his dreams on a technicality.
I don't need the most beautiful woman but I need someone who has good taste in clothing, has similiar life experiences, and someone I would like to see when I wake in the morning. I need someone with enough intelligence to carry on a conversation about topics that won't put me to sleep. Most importantly someone who has my back.
 tinsleyhut
Joined: 12/6/2009
Msg: 48
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 7:48:03 PM
I find this topic fascinating. I agree I think with those that have said it is easier to say what I don't want versus what I do. To me though a "type" may not be how "good" one looks but the type of person it tends to represent. I have seen those retired basement dwellers and some of them have been absolutely gorgeous. I have seen white collar, work out loving guys that most would find "not good looking". I know if I am attracted to someone as soon as I meet them, they may be ugly or handsome but something about them is either attractive or not to me, I assume that is chemistry at play. Pheremones may be more involved than visual aesthetics. Who knows. In my experience on POF I have tried to personally try out different types and even went against my political views once. I went with someone with bad teeth, overweight, balding, and broke. Although he was probably the most intelligent person I have dated and could do and fix anything from gourmet dinner, to computers, to motorcycles, and was kind and loving and could sing and play instruments, he had soooooo much going for him, but he was too dominant when it came to his opinions of my family and I couldnt live with that. It turned me off so fast I ran like the wind.
 ICtheLite
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 49
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 8:34:20 PM
I thought I had a type but I was wrong. Haha. I've deviated a lot over the last few years. It's a learning process and part of it is the more people you meet the more you learn about yourself; what you will compromise on and what you won't. We all have preferences that are not make or break attributes and hopefully the list of things that are is REALLY short, lol.
 cesska
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 50
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 8:50:38 PM
sweetness, kindness, interest in moi
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