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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?      Home login  
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 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 41
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

Those of us that don't have a type, don't necessarily subscribe to the any warm body will do theory of dating.
It just means that you can't line all of our ex's up in a line up and be confused about which one was which. They are all individuals with different things that attracted us, just not the same thing - like eye, skin, or hair colour...


that's it exactly...
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 42
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 7:41:13 AM

Walts, I was hoping to avoid the usual forums procedure of being put under the microscope and dissected for what others "see" in my question. I have shared and was asking for anyone responding in a way that wasn't quite so 'knee jerk".
We all know that bikers and golfers and musicians, are not all cut from the same cloth, blahblahblah...and people have different attributes that make them individuals...

I was asking for examples of what YOU forumites might consider to qualify someone for your mate, that isn't your usual "type".


I do believe what you are seeing with some of the replies here OP is that not ALL people qualify "types" such as your examples, which was kinda my point with my initial reply. Your examples, gave us a starting point of the discussion, and some of us have pointed out that isn't "our" way of defining "our" type. It ain't "knee jerk", and you shouldn't take it "personally", unless it does touch a nerve. If it does,maybe look or define your "type" a little differently. Some of us have already decided to do so. I don't know when I decided that my "type" wouldn't always be based on the "look" of a person but, their actions, reactions, how they "deal", etc within the society of which they live. I, in fact, don't have a clue how to "define" the "type" of person that I am attracted to, I just am. Attracted, that is.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 43
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 9:02:18 AM
I would say that as far as "types" so, it's more what I don't want than what I do want. The types of things I don't want cannot be gauged just by looking at a picture or a profile. Lying, cheating, etc....those types of things don't shine through.

Then again, as I have said, I prefer men who can make me laugh and who are intelligent. I "look" at each one individually rather than as a "type". Because they are individuals.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 44
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 3:20:10 PM
I might have a slightly more distinct look I notice first when interacting; but that is not the only type I will date.

I can find beauty in many different physical racial, ethnic or personality types; as long as there are a couple things that do grab me.

They have to have intelligence, they have to have amazing eyes (to me; don't care what color; just that they are warm, open and direct), they have to have some kind of a sense of humor; strong hands,

and they have to have curiosity about life and a heart for people and a desire to communicate and share that passion and curiosity.

They have those four things I don't care if their 30; 70, 5'3, 8', bald, redheaded, silver headed, white, black, Latino, a millionaire or a retired janitor.

I could literally care less what type they are surface.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 45
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 3:26:27 PM
I didn't think I had a type, but honestly, I never thought
I had to define what my type was.

I have learned, as I've gotten older, what I'm not attracted
to. I've also learned that we have to present ourselves in
such a way as to attract those we are attracted to.

Just as some guys are not attracted to longer hair, or shorter
hair or bad teeth or some extra weight, I'm not attracted to
long sort of bald scraggly pony tail hair, wicked overweight,
awful teeth, clothes that looked like they haven't been washed
in weeks and "retired" (meaning unemployed, living in a
basement apartment)

Not that there's anything wrong with any of the above.
After all, I'm no better than anyone else. :/

For whatever reason, those are the people that were messaging
me when I was active here. I don't get what it was about my
profile or my lifestyle that would suggest I'd be interested.
Unless of course it was because I was considered fat by POF
standards.

So my type is just ordinary and I'm not deviating from that.

Edit: I suppose I could have waxed poetic and all, but I went for
truthiness.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 46
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 6:14:51 PM
Intelligence, athleticism and shared values are important to me. I love sparkling eyes and witty banter. I am drawn to well groomed, intelligent, athletic men with a great sense of humor. Kindness and respect are essential.

I could never date a Republican, Tea Party, right-wing conservative, highly religious, racist or sexist man. Ditto smokers.

I feel repulsed by males with scraggly, grey ponytails, unkempt long beards, bushy handlebar mustaches (reminds me of Yosemite Sam), missing teeth and huge bellies. Can't imagine kissing that.
 HippyDippyWeatherman
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 47
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 7:02:16 PM
I'm going to have to think outside the box on my type. My two older sisters would beat me up when they caught me driving around the sandbox with a naked Barbie in the back of my Jeep pick-up truck. I understand that Barbie is potentially impossible but a guy shouldn't give up on his dreams on a technicality.
I don't need the most beautiful woman but I need someone who has good taste in clothing, has similiar life experiences, and someone I would like to see when I wake in the morning. I need someone with enough intelligence to carry on a conversation about topics that won't put me to sleep. Most importantly someone who has my back.
 tinsleyhut
Joined: 12/6/2009
Msg: 48
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 7:48:03 PM
I find this topic fascinating. I agree I think with those that have said it is easier to say what I don't want versus what I do. To me though a "type" may not be how "good" one looks but the type of person it tends to represent. I have seen those retired basement dwellers and some of them have been absolutely gorgeous. I have seen white collar, work out loving guys that most would find "not good looking". I know if I am attracted to someone as soon as I meet them, they may be ugly or handsome but something about them is either attractive or not to me, I assume that is chemistry at play. Pheremones may be more involved than visual aesthetics. Who knows. In my experience on POF I have tried to personally try out different types and even went against my political views once. I went with someone with bad teeth, overweight, balding, and broke. Although he was probably the most intelligent person I have dated and could do and fix anything from gourmet dinner, to computers, to motorcycles, and was kind and loving and could sing and play instruments, he had soooooo much going for him, but he was too dominant when it came to his opinions of my family and I couldnt live with that. It turned me off so fast I ran like the wind.
 ICtheLite
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 49
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 8:34:20 PM
I thought I had a type but I was wrong. Haha. I've deviated a lot over the last few years. It's a learning process and part of it is the more people you meet the more you learn about yourself; what you will compromise on and what you won't. We all have preferences that are not make or break attributes and hopefully the list of things that are is REALLY short, lol.
 cesska
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 50
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/16/2013 8:50:38 PM
sweetness, kindness, interest in moi
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 51
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/17/2013 5:07:21 AM

To be honest I do not think I could deviate from my so called type . I have certain principles that chart the course of my life .

This.
I have a"type" for a reason. I think most of us do.
So IMO if you deviate from it, you settling. And I just don't think it's a good idea.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 52
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/17/2013 10:15:31 AM
Oh hell, I would just want to find a decent, respectful guy who has his chit together and is ready to enter into a healthy, monogamous relationship. It would help if he was gainfully employed and had a good sense of haha

In all honesty, I really don't think I have a type. Both my ex's were polar opposite in looks and personality. My first husband was a tall good looking Englishman and my second husband was Aboriginal, good looking as well with long dark hair and black dancing eyes.

I find different men attractive for different reasons. It may be the hair or lack thereof, the smile, the eyes...I would be dishonest if I said looks don't matter. They do.... "I" need to feel they are attractive "to me." Then go from there.

...mae
 cinammonn
Joined: 9/7/2013
Msg: 53
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/17/2013 10:53:12 AM
Zuglo65 ,

I don't think to deviate from your type is always settling. I think whoever can do it, with enough evidence that they are onto something with that individual, is a very brave dater.

But you would have to be fairly new to the dating world, because after a while dating sites can be exhausting and they can suck the life right out of you ! :) Even if you are only dating your usual pre-conceived 'type'.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 54
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/17/2013 10:58:29 AM
I've never had a physical type. I've dated men with very widely varying looks. I'm with Mae when she says that all I needed was that they had to be attractive to me.

Some I found physically attractive immediately, some became physically attractive as I got to know and like them. There was always some kind of spark. Sometimes that happened almost immediately, and sometimes after several dates.

I certainly do have intellectual, emotional, and spiritual requirements, and those are not going to change.
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 55
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/17/2013 12:25:27 PM
I dont really have a type, but if there was one factor that would be the decider between two women, it would have to be intelligence.

I'm a sucker for a smart lady.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 56
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/18/2013 2:43:32 AM

what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?




You could line up my ex's and you would not see any similarities except male.

I doubt I would deviate from that.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 57
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/18/2013 3:25:08 AM
In the past 40 years of dating, I was mainly interested in someone different from the last women I dated. It was like the opposite of dating a type, and it was a real preference. Better to ask what would have made me date one type?

Now if for some weird reason I were to be single again, I don't know if I were to have an interest in dating again.
 cinammonn
Joined: 9/7/2013
Msg: 58
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/18/2013 4:51:19 AM
I admit, I fall hard for 'handsome', but my version of handsome varies. And I always pay attention when someone seems to have high principals and a big heart.

I wouldn't normally compare people to celebrities, but my long ago husband at the time was a ringer for Tom Selleck; after my divorce it was Dustin Hoffman with a body builder's physique. And then there was Robert Wagner with the strangest toes I have ever seen, and he displayed them in sandals on our first date.

All of them were clean freaks, like me.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 59
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/18/2013 4:57:09 AM


Zuglo65 ,

I don't think to deviate from your type is always settling. I think whoever can do it, with enough evidence that they are onto something with that individual, is a very brave dater.

Enough evidence..If she isn't my type, or I am not her type, IMO that's all he evidence I need to know it won't work.
I guess I am talking about a big picture.
Let's say we meet, and she is into something I am not. Think self pain, or extreme sports, things like that, OK?
Or if she is a heavy set lady.
To continue seeing her would be settling. Just don't think it will work out in a long run.
 Just_Bob_4_U
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 60
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/18/2013 10:43:34 AM
I really don't have a "type". I just know whether I like the person or not. Sometimes we may not feel a connection right away. I feel as it takes more than one date to get to know one another. Profiles on dating sites usually don't say a lot about the individual writing them.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 61
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/18/2013 1:32:48 PM
^^^^ I think it's way easier to say what we don't like
(usually based on past experiences) and hope to find that
one person we're attracted to, even if you're not sure why.

I do think you have to feel some sort of connection right
away though, or a reason to want to see that person again.

Regardless of what people actually say, it's what they do
that's more interesting. Most people will not be interested
in someone's insides if they're not at first attracted to their
outsides in some way. One reason why I think online dating
isn't for everyone.

Not everyone looks good on a profile.
 14everBlessed2
Joined: 6/21/2012
Msg: 62
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/21/2013 12:16:46 PM
I am going tohave to agree with what Mae said in message 63...different men have attracted me for different reasons. :)
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 63
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/21/2013 2:06:03 PM
knockout in bed!
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 64
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/21/2013 3:06:49 PM
My necessities are well groomed fit active male who enjoys the outdoors. After that not concerned about looks, height, profession, etc. I have more preferences but not necessities.

Zero interest in anyone who smokes, is 10 lbs overweight or 'going to' get in shape.

Fortunately fit active males usually are seeking the same in a woman.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 65
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what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/22/2013 1:12:09 PM
As long as they are able to learn and to teach, I'm good with straying from my style.

Not sure of my "style" but being open to new ideas and adventures are definitely a priority.
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