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 juliettes7
Joined: 11/4/2012
Msg: 101
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To MePage 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
OP --most important--not how others view you, but do you like your body, feel attractive below the neck?
If you don't, why should anybody else?
Maybe don't date till you do--lots of people don't date for whatever reason. If one isn't comfortable with looks why date? If you do feel good and are testing who likes you for you, not your looks...fine.
This guy flat isn't attracted, yet, he wants to get married and get a house? This seems exploitative and nonsensical.
You seem desperate to hear this script from someone, you overlook he finds you sexually unattractive/he has ED and is telling you to lose half your body weight to fix his ED.
If you keep this weirdo/con man, you really have poor self respect and should not date now because you will attract users.
 Letsgetoutofheretogether
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 102
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/2/2013 11:38:23 PM
I've been there, done that...
(I apologize for upper case letters, it's not a screaming, it's a highlighting of some thoughts.)
About you...
"He says I am beautiful, that I have beautiful eyes, and smile.....but he doesn't like anything below my neck I guess."
Dear OP, please, don't think how much you should or shouldn't loose of your weight. DON'T THINK THAT WAY! PERIOD.
Why don't you think how much you love yourself? how much you love your body? do you feel pretty, sexy every day looking in the mirror? OR you're beating yourself up for this bulge, that plumply cheek, this too big , that too fat?
YOU SIMPLY CANNOT LOOSE A ONE TENTH OF A POUND IF YOU SEE YOURSELF FAT, BIG, VOLUPTUOUS!
You wait loss will start ONLY from the day when you fully ACCEPT yourself the way you're NOW:beautiful, sexy, and gorgeous God's creation. I mean it. Your weight loss will start from the second when you say to yourself,"I am beautiful, sexy, desirable, wonderful, gorgeous woman, and I will be that way many many years from now!"
YOU MUST BELIEVE WHAT YOU SAY. This will be your turning point. Everything is in your head, you're in control how and what you think. Stop thinking and talking about yourself in a negative light, please.
About him...
Is the city you 're living in now is deserted? No men around? It's hard to believe.
Honestly? I smell some dirty manipulation, don't listen to a word of that crap he's feeding you and boosting his self-esteem. He doesn't love you, no doubt; I am so afraid he's trying to use you to make his life more comfortable.
I've been there, done that... When my ex dump me coldly, he said the same crap; he was looking for houses to buy with me...well, when I said I have no money to invest in the house, he changed drastically in hours. His problem was and is much deeper, not mine at all. I moved on, learned how to love myself( first), lost 30 lb in a few months, and lots of men see in me a very attractive woman as I really am.
Do yourself a HUGE favor, DUMP him and move on. You would never be good enough for him, if it's not your weight, he will find something else to tease you about and perfecting you to his standard.
Ask yourself, OP,"IS HE GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME?"
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 103
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 6:48:30 AM
In some cultures overweight or curvy women are actually preferred so it is all a matter of mindset. I cant imagine wanting to jump a bag of bones myself, if I were a man.


Most men in our culture prefer healthy weight. That is neither overweight or underweight.

Why do heavier women resort to labeling thin women as "a bag of bones" when these discussions come up?


Women don't like fat men with beer guts either as they look unhealthy but it seems women are willing to starve themselves to be accepted whereas men often don't bother to make any effort. Why is that??


What exactly do you think men who work out and watch their diet are doing if they aren't making an effort? Overweight and obesity rates are roughly equal between the genders, so this notion that women (or men) are making all the effort is clearly not supported by the facts.

Attaining and maintaining a healthy weight does not require starvation. It requires discipline.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 104
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 8:51:37 AM
I'm not surprised that this thread has become all about weight...
but my opinion remains;
The problems here are the bfs' depression issues and the medications.
Loss of interest in sex is a classic symptom of depression. it's somewhat ironic that so many of the medications for depression also have sexual side effects.

If I were the OP, I'd be looking to her bfs long-term prognosis. Is this a temporary bout of depression- yes, sometimes external situations that cause stress, anxiety, fatigue can trigger the brain chemistry imbalance that is labeled depression.
Depression can also be a symptom of organically physical illnesses in not only people, but animals as well.
If the OP wants to take better care of her health, for herself, that's fine. But I don't see much sense in embarking on a rigorous weightloss regime to fix a broken bf.
Also noting the point that there are cultures and even subcultures that DO appreciate what's called " a fine figure of a woman."
OP, I hate to see you dump your bf right now while he is battling depression. But don't buy into his "not sexually attracted" being somehow YOUR fault. The fault lies in his depression and the medications for it. I think what you owe yourself is to find out more about his long-term prognosis, before you make any decisions about a long-term future with him.
Cindy O
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 105
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 10:29:41 AM

I'm not surprised that this thread has become all about weight...
but my opinion remains;
The problems here are the bfs' depression issues and the medications.
Loss of interest in sex is a classic symptom of depression. it's somewhat ironic that so many of the medications for depression also have sexual side effects.


The main problem is that the OP agreed to enter into a relationship with someone that straight up said: "I won't be turned on in bed if you don't lose weight". If she continues to date him without losing weight, of course he won't be aroused. He was already honest and said he wasn't physically aroused by the way she looks right now. She either has to choose if she wants to be with him or pass.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 106
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 11:37:18 AM

The main problem is that the OP agreed to enter into a relationship with someone that straight up said: "I won't be turned on in bed if you don't lose weight". If she continues to date him without losing weight, of course he won't be aroused. He was already honest and said he wasn't physically aroused by the way she looks right now. She either has to choose if she wants to be with him or pass.
Coma White, I disagree with your statement. .....The OP stated:
The first couple of weeks we "tried" to have sex, but could not keep hard. He said it was due to stress etc. Now, the other night, he breaks down and tells me that I am awesome, and amazing that I am the best thing that has ever happened to him, but he's not sexually attracted to me! That he has never been with a "bigger woman". Now, I was dead honest when we met online. Short of sending him nude pics or measurements, I made it very clear that I was "voluptuous". He got lots of pics of me, full body shots too. I also told him that I am a work in progress and am working towards my goal weight. He says it is not a deal breaker for him, and nothing has changed. He told me that if I lose some weight I will be "perfect".
Note: "He said it was due to stress etc." Note: "I made it very clear that I was "voluptuous" ". Note: "He says it is not a deal breaker for him, and nothing has changed". THEN-"He told me that if I lose some weight I will be "perfect". THIS is a relationship based on unrealistic expectations. HE met her AND went with it, KNOWING full well, what she looked like from the beginning. Blaming his ED on stress first, THEN blaming it on her, her overweight. Placing the responsibility on her shoulders for his ED. This is dysfunctional at it's best! One should seek a relationship where there are NO Conditions! If indeed the OP chooses to lose weight, for her own well being, health issues as well as self esteem, I admire her for that. BUT to do so for him, to HELP him with his ED, is just plain insane. SHE can't change him and HE can't change her! A HEALTHY loving relationship is based on LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY!
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 107
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 11:45:05 AM

Note: "He said it was due to stress etc." Note: "I made it very clear that I was "voluptuous" ". Note: "He says it is not a deal breaker for him, and nothing has changed". THEN-"He told me that if I lose some weight I will be "perfect". THIS is a relationship based on unrealistic expectations. HE met her AND went with it, KNOWING full well, what she looked like from the beginning. Blaming his ED on stress first, THEN blaming it on her, her overweight. Placing the responsibility on her shoulders for his ED. This is dysfunctional at it's best! One should seek a relationship where there are NO Conditions! If indeed the OP chooses to lose weight, for her own well being, health issues as well as self esteem, I admire her for that. BUT to do so for him, to HELP him with his ED, is just plain insane. SHE can't change him and HE can't change her! A HEALTHY loving relationship is based on LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY!


That's fine is you disagree, but the facts tell a different story. First, he says it's due to stress, and then he changes his story and admits that he's not sexually attracted to her. How do you expect him to be sexually excited for someone he's not sexually attracted to? We don't know if he actually has erectile dysfunction. She's just calling it that. I didn't see any kind of diagnosis from a doctor. She also claimed that she was a work in progress and that he is supporting her attempt at losing weight. It's not that he doesn't love her, it's that he's not physically attracted to her. It's probably best if they cut it loose because she's not his type.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 108
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 11:51:03 AM
Coma White- I'm with the other op.
I think this guy has erectile dysfunction caused by the medication he's taking and is using the ops weight as an excuse.
Does he want someone thinner, maybe, but I also think he's the main problem.
Someone who loves you loves you as is.
(coma white, I am NOT saying you are a bad person, if you like someone thin, that is your preference, some men like women with curves, some don't. The problem I have with the man in this situation is he wasn't honest with the op from the start).
For the original op, please find someone who doesn't make you feel awful about yourself.
You deserve to be happy, this situation is not going to work and I think you already know it.
Move on and stop doubting yourself.
If you lose the weight, do it for your health, do it for you. I lost 34 pounds in the last year, it's not impossible.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 109
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 12:40:01 PM
We don't know if he actually has erectile dysfunction. She's just calling it that.
WE don't know? You're right, WE don't! She was there AND said,
The first couple of weeks we "tried" to have sex, but could not keep hard.
"Erectile dysfunction (ED) or impotence is sexual dysfunction characterized by the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis during sexual performance." (copied from Wikipedia) .............................YEPPER ! Don't need a medical diagnosis to figure this one out. If it don't stay UP and HARD for sexual activity then it is dysfunctional! Be it temporary, health matters induced, stress induced, emotional issues, lack of desire OR medications. ANY of these can cause erectile dysfunction!
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 110
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 12:46:18 PM

"Erectile dysfunction (ED) or impotence is sexual dysfunction characterized by the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis during sexual performance." (copied from Wikipedia) .............................YEPPER ! Don't need a medical diagnosis to figure this one out. If it don't stay UP and HARD for sexual activity then it is dysfunctional! Be it temporary, health matters induced, stress induced, emotional issues, lack of desire OR medications. ANY of these can cause erectile dysfunction!


Not being attracted to your partner can also cause a lack of libido. I guess you're right if you consider him not being into her as emotional issues. He admitted that she isn't his type and he's not physically attracted. I think we're looking to deeply into this. I would put money down that he wouldn't have this problem in bed with a girl he was very attracted to.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 111
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 1:20:18 PM

First, he says it's due to stress, and then he changes his story and admits that he's not sexually attracted to her.

why in the world did he get into a relationship with a woman he's not attracted to physically?
Tell me guys, is this common these days?

I mean, I can tell you that, in the past, especially in smaller communities/rural environments-there were long-term relationships formed that weren't always all about physical attraction/sexual chemistry. But I thought the internet and the general greater mobility had done away with that???


Not being attracted to your partner can also cause a lack of libido.

Then, AGAIN! why the hell did he forge a relationship with the OP? Why doesn't he just end the relationship instead of rattling on to the OP about how he loves everything else about her?
Look, I can understand that dealing with stress, being treated for depression, etc ALONE can be a daunting prospect. But if the guy intends to string the OP along for emotional support/companionship while he deals with these issues, then dump her when he feels better, he's a rat b*stard of the first degree.
Trust me, I have friends that are musicians, I've been in bars and seen men pick up plump chicks just to get laid. I'm sure there are men and women who are completely turned off by someone who is noticeably overweight but I do not think its' some big universal truth for most people.
Naw, this guy has more issues than Newsweek, and to be fair I'm sure a lot of them relate to his depression. But for him to keep trying to hang onto the OP for emotional support while actually "negging" her?
Sorry OP, I think if you have an OUNCE of self-respect, you need to forget this guy.
I'm a huge advocate of compassin but in this case, self-respect trumps it.
JMO
Cindy O
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 112
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 1:35:50 PM

Then, AGAIN! why the hell did he forge a relationship with the OP? Why doesn't he just end the relationship instead of rattling on to the OP about how he loves everything else about her?
Look, I can understand that dealing with stress, being treated for depression, etc ALONE can be a daunting prospect. But if the guy intends to string the OP along for emotional support/companionship while he deals with these issues, then dump her when he feels better, he's a rat b*stard of the first degree.
Trust me, I have friends that are musicians, I've been in bars and seen men pick up plump chicks just to get laid. I'm sure there are men and women who are completely turned off by someone who is noticeably overweight but I do not think its' some big universal truth for most people.
Naw, this guy has more issues than Newsweek, and to be fair I'm sure a lot of them relate to his depression. But for him to keep trying to hang onto the OP for emotional support while actually "negging" her?
Sorry OP, I think if you have an OUNCE of self-respect, you need to forget this guy.
I'm a huge advocate of compassin but in this case, self-respect trumps it.
JMO
Cindy O


Maybe he's stupid?
In reality, this guy got together with this girl because he wanted a girlfriend and was hoping she would lose weight for him, making her his type. He's also not "negging" her. That term refers to social interactions before entering a relationship with someone. I'm a musician and I don't go home with plump chicks to get laid. I've been playing in clubs for over 14 years. You're probably right that most men can get it up for any kind of woman, but studies have concluded that men prefer thinner women due to genetics. I'm not in disagreement with anyone. I think the OP should dump the guy because they're not a good match. I just happen to think his E.D. comes from the OP not being his type of woman. That might not be the only factor, but I think it's the biggest one.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 113
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 2:02:15 PM

I'm a musician and I don't go home with plump chicks to get laid.

I never said that my musician friends went home with anybody but their SOs. I said I observed the phenomenon as
an unindicted 3rd party.

he wanted a girlfriend and was hoping she would lose weight for him,

why not just go find a girlfriend that was already the weight he wanted?
If there is one thing I know, it is that one should NEVER enter into a relationship with someone you want to change.

but studies have concluded that men prefer thinner women due to genetics.

They prefer HEALTHY-looking women. And there are cultures and subcultures where a well-padded woman is seen as healthy looking.
I'm sure there may be something to a genetic or very longstanding conditioned preference, by women to have taller/stronger men as partners, that relates to ability to protect the dwelling and the offspring.
But these days, "protection" of dwelling and offspring can also derive from intellectual or financial power, or "status".
I repeat, I think the OP should find a different bf unless she's prepared to do without sex.
If she chooses to stay with him, I applaud her compassion, and since she's putting herself in 2nd place anyway,she SHOULD go in a strict regime to lose weight and/or become more fit and "healthy". Maybe in bfs next bout of depression she'll appreciate the attention she gets from other men and the relationship will be over anyway.
Look, I'm not trying to attack or vilify the OP's bf, he's just trying to save his own life the best way he knows how. But I think the OP needs to think very deeply about whether or ot she wants to be part of that.
Cindy O
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 114
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 2:39:33 PM

They prefer HEALTHY-looking women. And there are cultures and subcultures where a well-padded woman is seen as healthy looking.
I'm sure there may be something to a genetic or very longstanding conditioned preference, by women to have taller/stronger men as partners, that relates to ability to protect the dwelling and the offspring.
But these days, "protection" of dwelling and offspring can also derive from intellectual or financial power, or "status".
I repeat, I think the OP should find a different bf unless she's prepared to do without sex.
If she chooses to stay with him, I applaud her compassion, and since she's putting herself in 2nd place anyway,she SHOULD go in a strict regime to lose weight and/or become more fit and "healthy". Maybe in bfs next bout of depression she'll appreciate the attention she gets from other men and the relationship will be over anyway.
Look, I'm not trying to attack or vilify the OP's bf, he's just trying to save his own life the best way he knows how. But I think the OP needs to think very deeply about whether or ot she wants to be part of that.
Cindy O


Yeah, I agree that he shouldn't start a relationship with someone he wants to change. I'm pointing out that the studies indicate that men react to thin women because there are genetic reasons that they see overweight women as having health problems or the potential high risk for health problems. That's right that attraction for women can come from status because that emotionally ties into things that women have naturally reacted to since humans existed. A man with high status or a man that is financially successful with automatically have other women interested in him and he will be seen as a leader or his social circle. Both of these attributes, then and now, will make women respond to him better than if he had low status or less success. We have a lot of technology in our lives, but our brains still operate the same way they did thousands of years ago.
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 115
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 4:39:50 PM
mm this has evolved into a fat thread with arguments,

I do not think he has an erectile dysfunction, this happened to me when I fell in love with a super awesome girl that happened to be really big, it took me really allot of effort to get that working never had a problem even being with myself and thinking about sex got me excited, I think I have a libido of a teen but that is a different subject. I was not attracted to her because of her body type and she knew it a even so pursued me , it happens , the cause is not that complicated as everyone is making this out to be.

The body type naked does not look anything like a fit or proportioned body type especially lying down body parts change position and expected things do not happen as easily, probably sounds offensive.


Even a modern enlightened professional feminist may not see me as the guy she wants too small does not make her feel vulnerable, protected and controlled like she would like too, it may not be her type of guy..... not may words just many words repeated by my female friends; anyhow they always come around and wanted me bad when they compare, by then I feel settled for and make them go away hehehehe.
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 116
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/3/2013 6:01:07 PM
I don't know about the whole not getting hard thing. I'm not a man, but simply touching someone can give a man pleasure in that area. Anyways, I have met some people on here. I went on a date with a man, he was lovely, nice and intelligent. I enjoyed talking to him, but I wasn't attracted to him. I think you should lose weight anyways, but for yourself. Don't do it for this guy. I don't think its just your weight thats an issue, and I wouldn't want to see you get down if you do lose the weight, and he still isn't attracted to you.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 117
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/4/2013 2:50:31 PM
Of course I considered they weren't being honest with me Padric.

I have a young client who is in a wheelchair / walker and cannot speak. She can sign. She has a cleft pallet that makes her smile so big and her laugh so infectious that everyone around her smiles or laughs when she does. We often practice this song while sitting on the couch. More so, I practice and she cuddles in and smiles ... lol. We make the fireworks REALLY big because that's just her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOEdqV5iRcY

Don't let anyone tell you you aren't beautiful OP. There IS beauty is every human being, unless they are just plain evil, and those who can't see it have some problem that has blocked them from feeling it.

Remember, garbage in, garbage out. Some people can't help the garabage they are carrying inside. When it gets full, they have to puke it out on you. Step aside, look at it, and realize it's not your garbage.
 strawberryrippleicecream
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 118
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/4/2013 4:18:11 PM
Ask 4 what you want, this is a dating site, specify you require a tall, well built, { solid build} in a man, no exceptions.

There are heaps of wonderful large men who wont insult you, or your body, and will build your confidence and adore you.

Large tall men are the most adorable men, I sincerely wish you would flag him, and be very selective specific.

You wouldnt put a giraffe with a mouse, you put 2 giraffes together, two mice together, like attracts like, the law of physics.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 119
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/4/2013 8:49:49 PM
This isn't a matter of seeing beauty or appreciating people. You can appreciate your friends and make them happy. We're talking about feeling attraction with is deeply based in genetics. You either feel it or you don't. It's never a conscious choice. I agree that the OP should move on and find someone that is attracted to her. One way relationships don't work.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 120
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/5/2013 5:53:06 AM
Coma ... it was a referral to an early nasty post that has since been deleted, but not before it was read, I'm sure. Just somebody spewing their own garbage and not referring to any posts that are here.
 Iseedudpeople
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 121
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/5/2013 8:28:46 AM

Men are fairly easy creatures to make happy. Keep yourself fairly attractive (so that they're sexually attracted to you), feed them well, give them control of the remote and keep beer in the fridge!


By Jove I think she's got it !
lol

How is it you are single ?
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 122
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/5/2013 12:57:53 PM
Men are fairly easy creatures to make happy. Keep yourself fairly attractive (so that they're sexually attracted to you), feed them well, give them control of the remote and keep beer in the fridge!

See, she gets it. Ladies, notice she didn't point the finger at men saying that we all require a super model or anything, she just says to keep yourself "fairly attractive." That is about all most men really ask for. I don't even watch TV so it's even easier to keep me happy!
 CaptainTeebs
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 123
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/6/2013 7:29:18 AM


Well, I'm not sure how single I am. I've been seeing one of those "creatures" for about a year now. Just not sure how to define our "relationship". I'm not seeing other people and neither is he so we ARE "exclusive". Hmmm.....that DOES sound like a real relationship doesn't it. Lol

Congratulations! You didn't push to define your situation, you went with the flow, and voila! Relationship naturally built. You sure do get it. maybe you wanna teach a class?
On topic. OP- You live in Fort Mac., and you are in your thirties- I would think you have all the options you can handle.
He shouldn't have said what he did. It's better you know the truth, though- Do you really need the forumites to tell you what needs to be done?
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 124
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/6/2013 7:42:45 AM

What we said probably won't get a lot of responses because there are a lot of people that either don't agree and/or don't like it.


No, I think most women know men are simple creatures. I've never met a woman that couldn't find a guy...she just had trouble finding HER guy. If you're over 30, you've pretty much dated enough men to know they're easy to please.

Some women and men are stuck on the concept of, "accept me as I am". Romantic love is not unconditional love. You have to work for it and you have to change for it. If you're unwilling to change, then you're probably better off alone. Most people don't want to accept that. They'd rather keep searching and some complain while they're doing it.

My parents are PAINFULLY blunt people and told me exactly how to "please a man". "Full stomach, empty sack" (yes, my mother really said this to me), "If you want him to fix the roof, give him a blow job first then ask him," (that gem was from my dad.). I actually took culinary classes for a year just so I'd be a "good cook". My parents taught me that life is a gamble, so you have to focus on what you can do to put the odds in your favor.

So yes, I think most women KNOW this, but it's a very distasteful pill to swallow for some. It's unromantic, cold, and demeaning. If that's all he needs, then ANYONE can supply it. You are in no way special if his needs are so easily met. Some women need to feel special.

I'm not saying it's right to think this way. I'm pragmatic and always focus on my end goal. It's why I lost weight for the specific purpose of getting a higher tier guy. I could have stayed pudgy and married a middle-class guy with no dreams except to live a peaceful existence with a warm body in his bed and good food in his belly. That was an available path, but I found it distasteful. I have to admire the person I'm with, and there's nothing admirable about mediocrity. I chose to adjust to get what I want over remaining as I was to take what I could get. Some people (women and men) confuse Dignity with Pride. I had to swallow my pride to do what I did...but I never compromised my dignity. Some people view any change to what they have to offer as an offense to their dignity. I disagree.

I'm glad the OP is working on herself, but she's in a precarious position. I think most posters are just trying to help her avoid falling down a slippery slope.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 125
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/6/2013 7:50:01 AM

My parents are PAINFULLY blunt people and told me exactly how to "please a man". "Full stomach, empty sack" (yes, my mother really said this to me), "If you want him to fix the roof, give him a blow job first then ask him," (that gem was from my dad.).

I'm starting to believe we had the same parents.
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