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 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 144
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To MePage 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
You need to be with someone who will be attracted to you whether you weigh 120 pounds or 250 pounds.


I love women that weigh 250, but I can't make myself sexually attracted to one who is that heavy. It just wouldn't work.


And to "cowboy" you're obviously all about looks and nothing else.


I sincerely doubt that you are without some physical thing that you just couldn't handle in a partner. We all have a limit to what we will accept.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 145
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/20/2013 2:42:20 PM

(findingmrperfect) Sweetie,
You're better than this! If he doesn't love you and all of you, you're wasting your time. You need to be with someone who will be attracted to you whether you weigh 120 pounds or 250 pounds. And to "cowboy" you're obviously all about looks and nothing else.


Girl makes an honest statement.
Guy gives his blunt, HONEST, opinion.
Some other girl gets all up in arms over it.

And then women wonder why men don't share their feelings with them...
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 146
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/20/2013 2:58:46 PM
Did not read thread thread but if dude is over 45 he may need some help...if he pops a Viagra the wind blowing will get a rise out of him.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 147
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/21/2013 9:42:51 PM
Dr Oz this morning: if an erection doesn't happen it's 80% on the guy ... something being wrong there needing looked at, and it's not always just the erection part ... can be heart, kidneys, etc.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 148
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/22/2013 2:44:01 PM
It would not surprise me if he said he was not attracted to her because he has issues with his shaft. Much easier to point finger to her rather than admit he had ED issues.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 149
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/22/2013 3:02:34 PM
Dr Oz this morning: if an erection doesn't happen it's 80% on the guy ... something being wrong there needing looked at, and it's not always just the erection part ... can be heart, kidneys, etc.


That statistic works if you put it in context. It's 80% on the guy if he's dating someone he's actually attracted to. No amount of drugs or professional help will give a man an errection around a woman he's not into.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 150
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/23/2013 8:00:55 AM

(Bebeldeleau) Dr Oz this morning: if an erection doesn't happen it's 80% on the guy ...


Yes, and we *KNOW* that Dr. Oz is an unimpeachable source not concerned at all with his viewership and ratings, and that his main viewing demographic is not women who will buy into this mindless pap...
 1970Priceless
Joined: 7/24/2013
Msg: 151
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/23/2013 8:46:29 AM
This happens a lot, more than you would guess. Leave the guy as sexual incompatibility will only lead to more fights and resentment. Men deal with this all the time, women giving men what they want to rope them in and then cutting back or eliminating sex completely.
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 152
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/24/2013 1:23:35 AM
Its about attraction, but there could also be erctile dysfunction. I had that with a boyfriend who was very attracted to me. I don't know if he had any medical/physical problems, but he came quickly when I barely even touched him and then went soft. I stayed cause I loved him, but it was very frustrating cause I wanted to have sex with him. And to Arlo, why worry about something you can't change? Be happy of who you are. I'm 5 ft. If I was any shorter, I would be a midget. Over the years I learned to accept it, and now I love being short.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 153
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/24/2013 11:00:32 AM

(rosewood_girl)And to Arlo, why worry about something you can't change? Be happy of who you are.


I actually agree totally with you in this regard.


I'm 5 ft. If I was any shorter, I would be a midget. Over the years I learned to accept it, and now I love being short.


I'm going to disregard my own advice about only saying something once (I'll talk sternly with myself about it later): because being short is totally different for a guy than for a girl. If you can't grasp this (and I think you can, and are just being deliberately obtuse), then I'm not going to bother trying to explain it again.
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 154
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/24/2013 2:10:47 PM
Ummm..no its not. It's not different. I was made fun of most of my childhood cause I stopped growing. Even girls that were an inch taller than me gave me hell about it. They would call me a midget, and felt they were better than me cause of that lousy inch. Apparently I have short legs and a long torso so I look like a midget. Thats the words coming out of her mouth. Men that are short, are usually still average of height. Quit griping at being 5'7. At least you aren't 4'10. The only reason men gripe about it is because they feel being short doesn't make them feel masculine.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 155
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/30/2013 2:40:56 PM

Ummm..no its not. It's not different. I was made fun of most of my childhood cause I stopped growing. Even girls that were an inch taller than me gave me hell about it. They would call me a midget, and felt they were better than me cause of that lousy inch. Apparently I have short legs and a long torso so I look like a midget. Thats the words coming out of her mouth. Men that are short, are usually still average of height. Quit griping at being 5'7. At least you aren't 4'10. The only reason men gripe about it is because they feel being short doesn't make them feel masculine.


It's completely different. Men don't pass up women because they are shorter than them. It might be the same when it comes to people teasing you, but it's not the same when it comes to dating.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 156
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 11/30/2013 4:15:50 PM
In fact, you have a bigger pond to fish in than the super tall women


But a super tall and incredibly smart woman has a taller and incredibly smart (handsome too ;) man interested in her...some men prefer tall women :)
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 157
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 12/3/2013 8:00:10 AM
I want to find a woman, I find attractive, to grow old, gray, and wrinklie together with, fighting over the last "Depends."

Tall dark attractive Irishman, hung like a church-mouse (The Bishop)-looking for a woman who doesn't expect "too much"
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 158
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 12/3/2013 10:06:40 PM

It's completely different. Men don't pass up women because they are shorter than them. It might be the same when it comes to people teasing you, but it's not the same when it comes to dating.


I have seen short men pass up taller women cause of their height. It goes both ways. And some tall men probably wouldn't date me cause of the height difference, though thats not ever happened to me personally, but I'm sure it happens.
 sun_and_cinnamon
Joined: 12/3/2013
Msg: 159
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 12/7/2013 2:50:25 PM
I am a little boggled that he told OP if she lost weight she'd be "perfect" yet she still went out with him? or not quite sure if he said so after the meet...either way why torture yourself? He's straight up not attracted.
 SpanishEyes123
Joined: 11/30/2013
Msg: 160
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 12/8/2013 12:52:00 AM
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. The best advice I can give you is never be ashamed of yourself or try to change for anybody but yourself. If you are going to lose weight do it for YOURSELF and your HEALTH. You should never torture yourself with trying to reach ideals to please anybody or because you want to be attractive to someone else, because in the long run there are no guarantees that that person will find you attractive in the end. When someone truly finds you attractive and sexy, they take into account your personality, mind, manner of expressing yourself and the way you present yourself. He does not base things solely on looks and accepts you as you are. I know men like this are hard to find but they are worth searching for. As a woman I could never be with a man who did not appreciate me for who I am and ALL I have to offer. Sex Appeal is a state of mind, attitude and display of self confidence. You will know when you have great sexual chemistry with someone when he can make you feel sexy even in the most ridiculous of circumstances. Stop wasting your time with someone who does not appreciate you and keeps making excuses for his sexual inadequacies. Life is too short to spend it feeling miserable over someone who is not worth the effort.
 kathy1008
Joined: 11/16/2013
Msg: 161
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 12/8/2013 6:45:34 AM
You don't have to lose weight unless YOU want to! I am a larger woman. If they don't like larger women, tough nookies! LOTS of men DO like larger women and are not intimidated by weight. I would be willing to BET he is not capable of holding an erection at all. It's his fault, not yours. He is not willing to look at his problem and is smokescreening by putting it on you. Sorry, Charlie! I would tell him you aren't interested in him anymore and go your separate ways because... like I said, LOTS of men aren't intimidated by a larger woman.
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 162
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 12/8/2013 9:27:09 PM

LOTS of men aren't intimidated by a larger woman.


I don't know why so many women like to say men are intimidated by whatever traits they possess that we don't like. I've never turned down a fat girl because I was intimidated, I turn them down because I don't find them attractive. Intimidated....heh.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 163
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 12/8/2013 9:56:23 PM

I am a little boggled that he told OP if she lost weight she'd be "perfect" yet she still went out with him? or not quite sure if he said so after the meet...either way why torture yourself?

It's usually girls who would be the ones willing/wanting to continue to go out with someone when they don't have attraction. It's called attention. Guys will do that on lack of attraction when there's either sex involved, or as a temporary thing to meet some of her cute friends.

But in this story, I really don't think that's the case. He's not sexually attracted enough, but he has sexual problems and blaming it on her. But if she was so ugly he couldn't get it up -- he wouldn't actually want to go out with her. But he does. He was just probably buying time until he could jump start his lawn mower and was frustrated that She was making him look bad (because if she was Hot, his problem would lessen).
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 164
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 12/9/2013 3:50:34 AM

I don't know why so many women like to say men are intimidated by whatever traits they possess that we don't like.


Same reason why men call us picky when we don't like what they have to offer. It feels better when the other person is the flawed one.
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 165
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 12/9/2013 9:30:24 AM

Same reason why men call us picky when we don't like what they have to offer. It feels better when the other person is the flawed one.


Maybe so. I call some of my male friends picky too. If someone is single because they can't seem to find anyone they like, I'd call them picky, regardless of gender.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 166
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 12/25/2013 7:15:42 AM
The OP may be long gone, but in reality, I think he did her a favor, because pretty much everyone else will lie to her, and I hear it all the time. The most obvious ones are the married guys, telling hugely obese women that 'Well, I'd certainly go out with you, but I can't because I'm already married' when truthfully, they admit that they'd never date anyone that fat, but they won't say that TO HER because they don't want to hurt her feelings. So she lives on and on, never knowing what an obstacle her appearance is. And what's worse, is other women act the same way, they all support her by saying how rotten some men are that we won't date overweight women. Sure, you can call us all 'shallow', but the facts are, we don't get to choose what turns us on, and what turns us off. If there's something about someone that's physically repulsive, well, sure you can still be friends, but lovers? Probably not.
And just to add; virtually every woman has a checklist about what they want in a man too, and very often, THAT isn't negotiable and if she finds fault with us in some way, of course she feels it is perfectly justified, but feels that men aren't entitled to the same.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 167
Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 12/25/2013 8:49:13 AM
I'd abandon ship on this one. He's not attracted to you and you want someone that is attracted to you. You deserve better.
 cujo1947
Joined: 11/23/2012
Msg: 168
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Loves Me But Not Sexually Attracted To Me
Posted: 12/25/2013 4:59:15 PM
Then he is not worth worrying about !!
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