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 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 26
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetiePage 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
^ ^ Sorry there, "kiddo" (...lol), but just because something offends you, doesn't mean it necessarily offends everyone else... ;-p
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 27
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/29/2013 5:25:15 PM
I was going to call her Feather..........

Oh yes, and if being bothered by someone calling you an endearing name is the worst thing that happens to you, you live a life of stellar happiness.
 fieryredhead77
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 28
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/29/2013 7:31:08 PM
Truthfully, I love it, AND I use those terms and am called them in my workplace on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. It probably has something to do with the fact that I am a nurse for geriatric patients. In my life, I have always really liked it when guys have winked and called me sugar or something like that, but maybe it is a southern thing, as my dad is from Arkansas and we lived there a few years.
 OhSix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 29
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/29/2013 7:41:18 PM
I can't believe it but I actually agree with cowboy, That is precisely how it should be used and something picked up from grandpa on how to politely address someone of the opposite gender whom you do not know well. yes it is very much in the delivery.

As men we choose to assume you are such things (sweet, dear even a darling) and for all those who find it offensive and voice such displeasure, don't fret as you can take solace in knowing that your attitude will result in you being referred to as a cu (M+1)t in the future, Considering how much the assumption you are sweet can be offensive to some of the contributors this should be most pleasing. It is after all quite accurate.

People offended by something so benign are the same group of folks who choose to be offended by a word instead of the actual intent of those words and are often found chasing some idiotic issue like renaming manhole covers to be gender neutral as personholes instead of actually doing something productive or positive with their "outrage". Please do express your dislike immediately, it greatly speeds up the process of disqualification leaving you on the same pile as literal thinkers, politically correct zealots and mouth breathers.
 Feather21
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 30
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/29/2013 8:03:08 PM
Thanks, I luv your response and also moraima too!

"Feather" is made up name, it's like Heather with an F! lol
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 31
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/29/2013 8:11:17 PM
I recall my waitressing days back in the late 1980's, and I got called "sweetie" all the time. It did not bother me....maybe because I was hoping for a bigger tip? hahaha! Seriously though, I think it all depends on context and who is talking.
I agree with Cowboy about not using those terms of endearment in the work place. I, personally, don't like any of the pet names in the very early stages of dating. Now, once exclusive, I expect to be called a lot of things.....all good of course :)
====
Oh, I have never liked being called "Ma'am." UGH!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 32
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/29/2013 8:35:30 PM
I agree with Cowboy too.

It would not bother me in the least if I was in a geographic location where it was the norm.

I do not get why so many here do understand that in other geographic areas that you do not address strangers with terms of endearment. Would you seriously go to another geographic location where you are told by multiple strangers that calling them sweetheart is a sign of disrespect, and answer that it is acceptable in the southern states so the rest of the world has to change for you.................
 OhSix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 33
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/29/2013 8:55:19 PM
It has little to do with geography, considerate and decent people are found in most places. Like eric said, in many ways and when used in context it is very much a throwback to a bygone era of happy and polite waitresses in checker floored diners, respectful gentlemen and polite folks. It has far more to do with your mindset than geography. Even your consideration if people in customer service use these terms to be condescending says a lot about how you opt to interpret the world around you. Really do you think hon, sweetie or dear is anything more than the feminine version of bro, bud, dude or man. Maybe go to the dictionary and look up "Dear". Aside from being the first word in almost every written piece of correspondence you will ever author it also means to hold in high regard.

In the grand scheme of things I hope you recognize you are on the internet being bitter about getting called sweet.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 34
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/29/2013 9:17:04 PM
Really do you think hon, sweetie or dear is anything more than the feminine version of bro, bud, dude or man.

I would not disrespect a male I did not know by calling him bro, bud, dude or man. In fact, I would not address a man I do know by any of those words.
In the south, would calling a man boy be considered polite and friendly. I do not think so, but I could be wrong.

Maybe go to the dictionary and look up "Dear".

dear
d??/Submit
adjective
1.
regarded with deep affection.
"a dear friend"
synonyms: beloved, loved, much loved, darling, adored, cherished, precious.

Do those words sound like they should be used on strangers.

Seems when it comes down to it, imo, I verbally respect people too much to use words that.

Now if I do have a caring relationship of any sort with a person I do use terms and endearment, and enjoy it when people who care about me do the same.

If you do not know a person name, how hard is it to just say excuse me, and tell them what it is that you want to talk to them about. Why the need to label with a term of endearment.
 traveltrekker
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 35
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/29/2013 10:08:00 PM
. Really do you think hon, sweetie or dear is anything more than the feminine version of bro, bud, dude or man.


You left out "daddy-o". (flashback)


In the grand scheme of things I hope you recognize you are on the internet being bitter about getting called sweet.


Indeed.
But some people can take offense at anything and everything, and make mountains out of molehills.
 OhSix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 36
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/29/2013 11:16:48 PM
I think you forgot the most important part of the definition
exclamation: dear
1.
used in expressions of surprise, dismay, or sympathy....
but I digress.
You call it being disrespectful I consider it anything but. I guess it's contextually a result of the colour of glasses through which you view the world. yours appear to be a darker shade of brown than the ones I wear. Approaching someone you don't know with the preconceived notion that they are your friend and want to accomplish the same thing as you can only breed success, a brother or sister not by blood but through interests or purpose, an ally and an equal. I walk in to any situation giving that benefit of the doubt.

When you are in a relationship they are called pet names and holy craxpolly you better be more creative than sweetie or hon . There is a pretty clear boundary between the two for most. Sweetie or hon is an idiots pet name and calling the waitress pookie might just be pushing the limits a little bit.

Face it men are not offended by any of it unless it is downright contextually derogatory such as your little man/boy in the south reference you know exactly what the implication is there and feigned ignorance won't sneak past. Makes me highly doubt such explicit respect in every interaction. You say you are always more respectful of a man you don't know, i'll assume by that you say sir and mr and consider your bases covered, Pretty hard to make a mistake as unless he's post op it's always Mr. Reading this thread it can be determined that Ma'am is a no no leaving a guy a good 66% chance of guessing wrong on the miss mrs or ms which could be offensive to some. they can choose lady or woman but may or may not offend depending on the decision to place the word young in front of it.

Quite honestly your social interactions sound sterile and about as much fun as a rubber glove involved appointment at the doctors office. The next time someone asks you how you are today look them straight in the eyes with a great big grin and say, " peachy keen jelly bean, and how about you magoo. "
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 37
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 4:51:17 AM

Some women that I didn't know that well ( waitresses, women that I just met at a social event, women that I was talking to from dating sites etc ) have called these names. It wasn't a big deal to either me either way.

I agree.
But funny for some reason ladies find it more..ummmm..disrespectful than guys.
Now why is that??
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 38
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 6:03:08 AM
because when guys hear it, they hope they're about to get laid (or it reminds them of a time when they did)


vvvvvvv
ah haha, that's why I edited my post.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 39
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 6:07:37 AM

Posted by Motown_Cowgirl:
"because when guys hear it, they hope they're about to get laid."

From a sweet, grandmotherly, kindhearted food server at the local diner? I sure hope not! ;-)
 floral2
Joined: 7/10/2013
Msg: 40
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 6:50:25 AM
The other day I was holding a door for a man and he said "Thanks hun". I thought nothing of it. It wasn't offensive to me. There are much worse things someone can call a woman.
 HonkyTonk_Woman
Joined: 9/16/2013
Msg: 41
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 7:47:40 AM
In reading this thread...I have to say...using pet names or responding to someone in terms of ..hun, sweety, sugar etc....can be a habit with some people and not to be taken... personally.
I must admit....it is all about the context or situation...such words are being used.
I love pet names for familiar people...I know...family or otherwise...
I think in coming from a "stranger".....it can be taken as derogatory/condescending.....as well.
I've seen it on the forums....many times...when two people are disagreeing.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 42
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 8:33:48 AM
"Cali was just a totally different place. I took long walks at a local park in the morning. EVERY person I passed I said "GOOD MORNING! What a great day" Not a sole would answer. Not even once. I started doing it to every single person just for fun! They wouldnt even look at you. They would look away."

In my geographic area, many people when they are out say "good morning/afternoon/evening" and smile and keep walking. They just don't add sweetheart/hun/sweetie.
Saying hello in passing is one thing. Trying to speak as if the person is your new best friend isn't needed or wanted until you actually know them.

I don't take offense to it. I just don't want to get to know them any better.

If everybody is your sweetheart, what the heck do you call someone you have a caring relationship with?
When your sweetheart hears you call a waitstaff person you don't know sweetheart, how special does that make your real sweetheart feel next time you lay sweetheart on her.

"As men we choose to assume you are such things (sweet, dear even a darling) and for all those who find it offensive and voice such displeasure, don't fret as you can take solace in knowing that your attitude will result in you being referred to as a cu (M+1)t in the future, "

You assume that all women are "such things (sweet, dear even a darling) "

Sure you do.

"for all those who find it offensive and voice such displeasure, take solace in knowing that your attitude will result in you being referred to as a cu (M+1)t in the future, "

So women just have to accept it or face your punishment. Good luck with that attitude.

"Those are private terms of endearment for me anyway."

Exactly.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 43
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 8:45:09 AM

Could be because I live in the south....or could be that life is just too short to get offended over every little thing.....


I live in Georgia. If you don't like the terms of endearment, you may as well move some place else. Everybody does it, and most of the time, it comes across sincere and rather warm.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 44
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 9:07:44 AM
" Its way way different in the south I swear. Some of you would be extremely frustrated. What would actually happen though is if you moved here you would grow to like it probably."

I don't doubt that is how it is in the south of USA. I haven't been there since 95', didn't bother me a bit during the years I did go there, because it was the norm and meant nothing. Anyone who came here from the south, I would know because of their accent. That would make it normal to hear them use sweetheart to everyone they spoke too.
It would not appear weird.

However, in my location it isn't the norm. Therefore it sounds weird when some stranger comes up to you and tries to start a conversation with sweetheart.

"Reading this thread it can be determined that Ma'am is a no no leaving a guy a good 66% chance of guessing wrong on the miss mrs or ms which could be offensive to some."

What is the big deal with addressing someone you don't know without using a label?

"I called a young waitress "hunny" the other day when she totally screwed up my order and seemed not to give a crap......"Hunny, this is the second time you've screwed this up - please send over your manager".

I like to use "ma'am" as well to stick it to women who think they are gods gift to men and more........for example, this young 20 somthing blonde walked into the starbucks wiggling her ass in her tight dress with her boobs half popped out and happened to drop her keys as she was walking by.......I picked them up and said "Ma'am.....ma'am you dropped your keys...!!" She at first didn't even acknowledge me......then turned and took her keys from me and gave me a dirty look.........the rest of the people there burst out laughing!! She clearly didn't like "Ma'am"!!"

Great examples of earned put down.

Sweetheart or hun is used in my location as a put down. It is gender neutral. When you hear it here, spoken by a local, you are aware that it was meant as a reprimand.

 jimintoronto2
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 45
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 9:24:44 AM
I've been going to a certain pub in Toronto for many years. One of the ladies there is the manager and she's called me sweetie from the first day I met her. For her, though, it's just a figure of speech, so I've never commented on it. On the other hand, the same place hired a very young lady and she started calling me sweetie. I told her why it was inappropriate, as she's about the age of my eldest grand daughter. After that, she didn't do it again, but we're on very good terms otherwise.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 46
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 10:34:31 AM
"If everybody is your sweetheart, what the heck do you call someone you have a caring relationship with?
When your sweetheart hears you call a waitstaff person you don't know sweetheart, how special does that make your real sweetheart feel next time you lay sweetheart on her."

You can still use sweetheart, honey, darlin' etc. for your SO......what makes the big difference is the possessive pronoun in front of it!

Take Cowboy's example:

"Darlin grab me another shot when you get a chance".

Now if he says to the bartender and she is not his SO:

"My darlin grab me another shot when you get another chance"

I am pretty sure his SO will hit him upside the head with her purse before she walks out! (wink)

See the difference here? Adding the my is significant and makes it special!

And terms of endearment are not exclusive to the Southern US...... I was at the International Food and Wine Festival at Epcot the other day.....a Scottish man call me hen! I guess I should have been offended! lol
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 47
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 10:55:50 AM

Posted by KJ521:
"I guess I should have been offended! lol"

That has been my preferred technique.
I walk around just chompin' to feel offended at any moment! ;-)
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 48
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 10:56:48 AM
"See the difference here? Adding the my is significant and makes it special!"

So when you are in a different location are supposed locals to read your mind, and know how you make the distinction by adding my, when it is different in their location.


" I was at the International Food and Wine Festival at Epcot the other day.....a Scottish man call me hen! I guess I should have been offended! lol"

Maybe..........if you realized that in UK hen is usually used to mean women who cackle on about nothing like hens. Guess you should be glad he didn't call you cow, which is UK slang for bit#h. (The last sentence was a joke but a reality when it comes to UK slang.)

"That has been my preferred technique.
I walk around just chompin' to feel offended at any moment! ;-)"

I can just see the confused look on the person trying to offend you by using a term that locals would understand was meant to reprimand you. Too funny.
 Iseedudpeople
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 49
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 11:23:05 AM

You can still use sweetheart, honey, darlin' etc. for your SO......what makes the big difference is the possessive pronoun in front of it!

example:

"Darlin grab me another shot when you get a chance".

"My darlin grab me another shot when you get another chance"

See the difference here? Adding the my is significant and makes it special!


I beg to differ because someone like a waitress at a pub you attend regularly could just as easily use the "my" pronoun and not mean it any differently.

The difference is how SECURE one is in their relationship with their SO to know the difference.

If I have a gf and I hear her call me " sweetheart " and then I hear her call someone else that I know the difference simply based on the fact that :

Drumroll please ....

I AM HER BF !
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 50
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 11:33:33 AM
Eric:

"That has been my preferred technique.
I walk around just chompin' to feel offended at any moment! ;-) "

You know I tried that once......then decided it took up too much energy that was better spent laughing and enjoying life!


Moraima:

"Maybe..........if you realized that in UK hen is usually used to mean women who cackle on about nothing like hens. Guess you should be glad he didn't call you cow, which is UK slang for bit#h. (The last sentence was a joke but a reality when it comes to UK slang.)"

Perhaps Vlad...our resident Scottish translator from Edinburgh....will come along to clarify the use of hen...

Cowboy:

"Oh Kimmie my Darlin you are such a tease. (wink)"

I am not! (ok...maybe on occasion! lol) But I believe it is YOU who is doing the teasing here! (wink)
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