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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 51
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetiePage 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
People who call other people "hun" is not a horrible thing.
Calling someone Attila the Hun can be offensive.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 52
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 11:48:15 AM

Posted by KJ521:
"You know I tried that once...then decided it took up too much energy that was better spent laughing and enjoying life!"

Agree with you 100% on that. It takes a really concentrated and special effort to "offend" me these days.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 53
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 12:50:28 PM
Oh my, this thread turned sweeter than condensed milk.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 54
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 2:10:40 PM

I think it all depends on context and who is talking.

Indeed. One sometimes needs to speak to someone ,with no way of knowing their name. Whether I use "hun", / "dear"-or "ma'am/sir" is very much situational. Children are usually, "sweetie", "son" or "baby girl"-indeed I have even addressed younger forum posters as "son" or "baby girl".

whether to take offense or not is an individual decision and that also is very much dependent on situation and context.

Cindy O
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 55
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 3:06:42 PM
I have to say, that this is one of the most entertaining threads I've seen in a long time. All the dudes and darlins in here are just "all that"!!!!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 56
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 4:32:39 PM
""That has been my preferred technique.
I walk around just chompin' to feel offended at any moment! ;-) "

You know I tried that once......then decided it took up too much energy that was better spent laughing and enjoying life!"

Point being missed is that people where I live aren't offended. They are perplexed, rolling their eyes by what they consider silly throw away words that only lead the person to be ignored or silently giggled at.

"Perhaps Vlad...our resident Scottish translator from Edinburgh....will come along to clarify the use of hen..."

I was born in UK, and went to several years of schooling there. I think you will find my translation is accurate.

I agree that this thread is amusing to read. It does highlight how different areas speak in different way, and that words in one area have a totally different meaning than in other places.
It also shows how some people think the way they speak in their area is the only way for the world to speak.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 57
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 6:12:40 PM
Interestingly, I just got home from taking my daughter out to dinner for her 13th birthday......

The first thing the waiter said was "What can I get you two beautiful ladies to drink?"

So I am wondering....is being called "beautiful lady" offensive, too?

I thought it was sweet and wasn't offended at all!

Now if he had asked me my first name.....well, that would have just been weird! lol
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 58
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/30/2013 7:01:17 PM
"YOU are the only person to insist that your way is the only way to speak."

You must have no read what I said in post #52.

"I don't doubt that is how it is in the south of USA. I haven't been there since 95', didn't bother me a bit during the years I did go there, because it was the norm and meant nothing. Anyone who came here from the south, I would know because of their accent. That would make it normal to hear them use sweetheart to everyone they spoke too.
It would not appear weird.

However, in my location it isn't the norm. Therefore it sounds weird when some stranger comes up to you and tries to start a conversation with sweetheart."

Possibly I should have included that I was referring to a stranger from my geographic location.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 59
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/31/2013 4:19:17 AM

because when guys hear it, they hope they're about to get laid (or it reminds them of a time when they did)

Hm..I think she just wants to be friendly, could be thinking about the tip.
Oh..Just to clearify ..Tip as in Thanks in payment


From a sweet, grandmotherly, kindhearted food server at the local diner?

Hahaha
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 60
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/31/2013 5:36:56 AM

So I am wondering....is being called "beautiful lady" offensive, too?


Don't know about "lady" but, I have heard, that some women just hate the term/label "girl/girls".

All I know is that some people can get upset over some of the silliest shiat. I quit worrying about what people called me when I was about 5, remembering the line, "sticks and stones......"
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 61
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/31/2013 5:42:21 AM
I get called pet names by strangers all the time. I like it. Baby girl and Sunshine are my favs if you feel inclined to address me in a term of affection. Reason for living works too
 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 62
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/31/2013 6:54:04 AM
I have found that if you have a woman pinned up against a wall (legally) or whatever! they prefer those derogatory names and hun or sweetie isn't one of them....
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 63
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/31/2013 10:02:35 AM
"It's pretty much used for every single female in Scotland and is just a general term the Scots use for women, with no malice of offence meant, a little like the English use 'bloke' or 'chap' for men. In Newcastle, the term Hinny is used, and in the Midlands 'duck' (or 'me duck') is also used for both sexes."

Another example of location and context then. Women just as much as men use hen for women who talked too much when I was a child.

In many places, people greet with a kiss to both cheeks. Even when introduced to a new person, it is customary to exchange kisses with the new person. A little strange for me to begin with for someone who isn't used to the custom, but it soon becomes the norm. My friends locally always greet with a hug and kiss, which raises eyebrows of some stranger watching.

Looks like local, and context are key with the sweetheart issue.
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 64
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/31/2013 12:58:08 PM
Indeed Ms Graph is correct in her post. Although more
a working class thing every female (apart from your ma)
is hen.
Some lassies dont like being called hen so they usually get
told to cluck off as they are po faced naysaying knickers in a twist
easily offended types. Again saying that if they ask politely not to call
them hen we try not to.
But fail miserably.

All wee laddies usually get called son as well even if not your bairn.

Schools obviously dont want bairns to speak like we do but such is
life.

So there you go hen if you are ever in scotland dont be offended
if called hen.

Cheerio

Messages this short etc

Oh and just to pad this out when we in scotland talk
about getting or going for messages we mean going to
the shops to buy provisions . Or necessities like beer or
plain crisps
 OhSix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 65
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/31/2013 4:10:21 PM
I keep reading about "In the south" While it is true that Edmonton may be a tad to the west of you it is admittedly farther north, yet the consensus here seems to be the same as those below the 49th. Is it possible the issue is all in your head which causes you to have a proverbial corn cob jammed up there sideways, I suppose it could be your proximity to the centre of the universe that skews your outlook since gravity bends light. You keep saying location and context but seem incapable of recognizing that aside from the anomalous bubble that appears to surround you hon sweetie or sweetheart are the north American (canada and US) equivalent of bloke, chap, hinny or lassie. still the silliest thing to be offended over, I guess we could just go with "That broad over there" instead.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 66
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/31/2013 4:39:27 PM
" Is it possible the issue is all in your head which causes you to have a proverbial corn cob jammed up there sideways"

Yep, just drop your standards and no one will say rude things to you. So worried about name calling..........not.
(Interest South Park episode on dropping standards...........he he.)

" I suppose it could be your proximity to the centre of the universe "

You wouldn't be referring to TO now would you.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 67
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/31/2013 5:49:08 PM
Myself, being born and raised in Ireland, we'd call ( especially those in our family - children in particular ) 'pet.' It does not mean as in animal, but simply a term of endearment.

I still call my sons' pet, even though they're young adults now. Nothing to be offended about. ( And I call them often, 'son.' )

I wouldn't be too comfortable with some stranger calling me sweetheart, hun or sweetie, ( unless he IS my partner ) although I wouldn't be offended at all.

A few years ago, I went into a store and upon leaving, I said to the elderly store clerk, "Thank you, sir." to which he quickly asked if I were 'sub or dom.'

Yeahhhhhh...meh.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 68
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/1/2013 4:44:29 AM
^^^That is interesting..calling children pets but not meaning an animal..
You know in Hungary you can call someone "kisbogárkám" which means my little bug.
Or "bocikám" which means baby cow. And none of those are insults.
 talldarklove
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 69
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/1/2013 8:36:58 AM
Lol, if he doesn't take interest into knowing your name before saying such things then it might be exactly how it looks (games). I don't mind labels I understand some people are just being nice but it only feels right coming from a people I'm comfortable with. If a stranger says such things red flags go up for me as well, I can't help that feeling.
 naysaying_knicktwist
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 70
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/1/2013 8:50:25 AM
Vlad
Some lassies dont like being called hen so they usually get
told to cluck off as they are po faced naysaying knickers in a twist
easily offended types. Again saying that if they ask politely not to call
them hen we try not to.
But fail miserably.


Hee. I was hoping you'd see this thread; someone else did too - they said you'd know what 'hen' meant. I would take 'hens' as the equivalent of 'girls' and not read any insult into it. Some naysaying knicktwists are cool that way. :-P
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 71
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/1/2013 9:20:23 AM
"they said you'd know what 'hen' meant. "
---
"Some lassies dont like being called hen so they usually get
told to cluck off as they are po faced naysaying knickers in a twist
easily offended types. Again saying that if they ask politely not to call
them hen we try not to.
But fail miserably."

So you acknowledge that some "lassies" don't like being called hen, but they are told to cluck off because they easily offended types. You try not to offend them but fail.

Sounds to me like manipulation/bullying to get your own way to be free to get your own way with people. Guess you think that how others feel isn't what they are allowed to feel.

Sadly some people don't like it when others ask to not be called sweetheart or hen, so they punish by swearing at them.

I had a lady come in for an interview. After the interview, she politely said that she prefers her name to be pronounced in the Spanish way. 20 years later, I still pronounce her name that way. I wasn't offended by the fact she preferred her name pronounced in a non English way. Her name was very easy to pronounce the way she preferred. Why would anyone be annoyed by that.

If someone says please call me by my name, why take offence?

All these comments about people taking offense at being called sweetheart, and how that means they have bad personality traits? Seriously!
What about the traits of the people who refuse to call people by their name when asked? What are these people showing with their attitudes?
 Strider324
Joined: 8/27/2013
Msg: 72
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/1/2013 9:34:02 AM
Not sure why there is such a presumption that only men use pet names to strangers. I have had hundreds of women in stores, offices, etc that have called me 'hon'. Not only has it never offended me, I consider it a positive confirming behavior in society that should be encouraged.

I have called women 'hon', 'boo', and 'babe' on many occasions for 40 years. Most of them are intelligent and secure enough to recognize and accept the positive intention. Those who lose their frickin minds over it - I could care less. If your life is so limited that you can't think of about 34 trillion other things to be 'offended' about that are more significant than positive terms of endearment - that's just sad.

Amazingly, I have referred to men as 'bud', 'buddy', 'bro', 'brother', and 'dawg' about 50 million times - not one of them has ever taken offense or demanded 'say my name!' like some Heisenberg wannabe.......
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 73
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/2/2013 6:36:27 AM
''Sounds to me like manipulation/bullying to get your own way to be free to get your own way with people.
Guess you think that how others feel isn't what they are allowed to feel''

Oh deary me. No one gets bullied or manipulated. The cluck off part was a rib tickling aside thrown in by
myself.
If someone does not like the term then that is their perogative. Do you honestly think that the whole working
class (where the term is most used) is going to stop saying hen to placate a few individuals?
And unless these individuals can get a draconian law brought in it will never change. And why should it?

If being called hen is the worst thing you get called in life then you have a result.

As an endearment, hen is applied to members of the female of the species by members
of either gender and is now more common in the west of the country than in the east.
Like many so-called endearments, such as the English love and dear, hen is not just
used to a female that the speaker is fond of.
True, it is often used to wives, girlfriends, daughters, other female members of the family or female friends.
However, hen has become just a familiar form of address which can be directed at any female,
whether she is your best friend, a nodding acquaintance or a total stranger.
You will find it regularly used by people in shops, bus drivers, taxi drivers and so on to their customers

http://caledonianmercury.com/2011/02/14/useful-scots-word-hen/0013927
 newonthescene76
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 74
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/2/2013 6:57:03 PM

I have had hundreds of women in stores, offices, etc that have called me 'hon'.

Pet names like "sweetheart", "babe", "hon" are diminutive, therefore I can understand why a man wouldn't mind if a strange woman used these names for him, as men are typically seen as higher in status and power, thus women do not pose a "threat" to their standing. However, I would be interested in how many men call other men these pet names. I bet very few straight men do this because it would be considered an insult to call another man "hon", etc.


Amazingly, I have referred to men as 'bud', 'buddy', 'bro', 'brother', and 'dawg' about 50 million times - not one of them has ever taken offense or demanded 'say my name!' like some Heisenberg wannabe.......

The pet names for men articulate a camaraderie or an equal standing.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 75
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/2/2013 8:15:05 PM
" Do you honestly think that the whole working
class (where the term is most used) is going to stop saying hen to placate a few individuals?"

"You will find it regularly used by people in shops, bus drivers, taxi drivers and so on to their customers"

So does whole working class use that word (or similar) for people of the non working class? Would they call a non working class man governor? What would they call a non working class women?
How do you decide who is working class?
Is there a phrase for non working class people, who work ie. doctors, judges etc.

I am willing to bet that their are individuals you would not use the word hen with.

Would you call the vicars wife, the president of the company you work for, or anyone in high authority hen?

"stop saying hen to placate a few individuals?"

Why would you feel it is appropriate to call a stranger or someone who has told you not to call them a pet name that word anyway, just because you feel you can get away with it. Why cause problems for a simple request? That sound very much like you have no respect for anyone who does not agree with whatever you decide to call them.

"men are typically seen as higher in status and power, thus women do not pose a "threat" to their standing."

I think some men think they have higher status/power over women so they prove it by calling strangers sweetheart etc.
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