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 14everBlessed2
Joined: 6/21/2012
Msg: 76
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetiePage 4 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I have to agree with Cowboy and Eric...and having grown up and still living in the southern regions, it doesn't bother me to hear sweetie, darlin or hun and I plead guilty to using these terms to strangers as well . ( As well as yes ma'am and sir.) (Never have liked babe though.) And yes, I do think people use these words quite annoyingly on occasion but hey I have fun with it. Worked with a group of 14 (men) techs for years and I was the only female tech there. One always got just a little too familiar for my liking with the pet names, even though I had told him to knock it off on several occasions. Honestly don't remember what term he used but he asked me to get a tool and I replied "sure thing sugar britches, where would you like me to stick it?" with my most innocent deadpan face.
Dead silence and then the snickers and guffaws began.......Poor guy took quite a ribbing from the other guys for awhile but he never called me any of his stupid pet names again. :)
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 77
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 4:14:34 AM
My my but the term hen is causing a bit of a stooshie
is it not?
But first off, the term govenor is not widely used in scotland
and is more of a london term.
Myself and my mates would call a guy mate or if younger then
it would be son.
Where i live and the work i do means most of my time is spent
with folk the same as myself, council housing scheme and
building trade, service industry so yes the terms hen, mate and
son would be used constantly.

Higher authority? Lol
And yes the vicars wife would be hen as well.
As i said before the term hen is used for lassies and it matters
not what their status is.
If holding a door open or giving a seat on the bus to a female
then 'there you go hen' is the term that would be used.

Now the pony argument you are trying to further regarding
someone who says they do not like the term, i would as stated
before try and no say it but i just know i would fail because
it is a common everyday term.
As for the mortally wounded female who may never recover
from being called hen? Well the chances are it is a one of meeting
and it wouldnt concern me too much if i had no contact with them
again.
You are trying to imply a form of bullying but your argument is
weak. If someone is offended by the term fair enough. They do
not have to speak to me. I will carry on with my life and never give
them a second thought.
Maybe someone could compile a list of words that are never to be
uttered? Or set up re education camps where the offending users
of proscribed words can be beaten into submission.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 78
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 5:49:16 AM
"One always got just a little too familiar for my liking with the pet names, even though I had told him to knock it off on several occasions. Honestly don't remember what term he used but he asked me to get a tool and I replied "sure thing sugar britches, where would you like me to stick it?" with my most innocent deadpan face.
Dead silence and then the snickers and guffaws began.......Poor guy took quite a ribbing from the other guys for awhile but he never called me any of his stupid pet names again. :)"

Too funny. They sure don't like it when the shoe is on the other foot.

No one, me included is saying that anyone should stop using pet names in appropriate surroundings, with people it doesn't annoy. All I am saying is that if you are some where where pet names aren't used, and someone asks you not to use it, why make a fuss.

It is true that someone who doesn't like it, will stay away from people who use it.

"You should be offended by the person, not by the words."

I couldn't agree more.
 KrazyChikk
Joined: 7/11/2013
Msg: 79
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 6:01:21 AM

Sweetheart or hun is used in my location as a put down. It is gender neutral. When you hear it here, spoken by a local, you are aware that it was meant as a reprimand.

I don't think you can argue the fact that Sweetheart, Honey and Sweetie, are terms of endearment....when used in correct and purposeful context. Any term can be used with malicious intent. You should be offended by the person, not by the words.



Sounds to me like manipulation/bullying to get your own way to be free to get your own way with people

Rubbish!


So there you go hen if you are ever in scotland dont be offended
if called hen

Bocka-bocka ;)
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 80
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 6:42:59 AM
all I can say is i'm glad there are people out there whose biggest problem in the world is all the sonsabitches who won't stop calling them sweetie.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 81
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 7:01:10 AM
"Listen.. no one is saying that IF SHE SAYS not to call her that that he wont. Your complaint started as stranger saying that to you and he wont know how YOU will take it. "

I agree with that. No problem with those that simply say ok, won't call you that again. No problem if they forget once in a while. Problem is those who take someone's personal preference and take it personally, and then start swearing at the person. That happens often enough unfortunately.

It is no different that receiving a message on POF, and politely reply with "thank you for your message. Unfortunately, I do not see us as having anything in common - you are too far away etc." Then you receive a nasty message back.

"My momma taught me that to refer to a gentleman or lady respectfully you said yes maa'm and no sir and you opened doors and pulled out chairs for a lady always. If my momma saw a gal get into my car without me opening that door I would KNOW I would get a beating when I got home. LOL Just the way I was raised. I guess we were all raised with different standards"

I agree. I take no offense to anyone calling me maa'm, opening a car door etc. I understand that the person is trying to be respectful. I still address men as sir in rare circumstances.

"i'm glad there are people out there whose biggest problem in the world is all the sonsabitches who won't stop calling them sweetie. "

Of course, it isn't our biggest problem. However, it is the topic of the thread.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 82
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 7:47:20 AM
"So you are struggling to load a large package into your car and a gentleman approaches you and just says "Here Sweetie let me help you with that" Are you offended then? Do you tell him off and tell him what a rude SOB he is?"

If I had a large package, I would ask the store to load it in my vehicle. But I get your point. I would not feel the need to swear at a stranger. I can tell someone politely that I don't like something without swearing. Under those circumstances, I would let it go. If he kept repeating the word sweetie, I would know his intend to help was more motivated by wanting to hit on me, then a desire to help a stranger.

"I cant believe some of this nonsense."

I can't believe the nonsense either, but for different reasons.

Cowboy, your mother sounds like my father. I often think about my father fondly. I clearly remember him telling at a very young age that no matter who the other person was, I was never to accept being treated with disrespect.
We often had contact with upper class nobility. People who were back then considered upper class nobility always treated my father with respect, unlike how I saw them treat anyone badly who would let them get away with it.

We teach people how they can treat us.
We tend to surround ourselves with like minded people whenever possible.
 Lexti
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 83
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 7:49:03 AM
My kids have been raised to answer any and all adults with Sir or Ma'am or Miss and Mr. Their teachers adore this and always tell me how respectful they are. We were raised in the south and this is considered good manners. Sweetie, Sweetheart, and Hon are used as terms of endearment . I never knew so many in the rest of the world found these terms offensive.
 naysaying_knicktwist
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 84
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 8:10:15 AM
Vlad
The cluck off part was a rib tickling aside thrown in by
myself.


The pun is the lowest form of wit, so maybe you and I were the only ones who found it funny. Rib-tickling, however, is never funny, so off to the re-education camp with you.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 85
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 8:39:05 AM
Every area of the country has their own way of saying things differently, doing things differently etc. What works in one area does not work in another area, that is just a fact. Doesn't mean someone here should think how someone speaks in another area is wrong. AND it shouldn't mean for the people that say hun or sweetie or darling in their areas to think it is ok to say in other areas where you don't say that. I swear a lot sometimes but I also know where and when not to, should be the same type of thing with "name calling", depending on where you live and the situation. Pretty easy stuff.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 86
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 8:49:39 AM
"Every area of the country has their own way of saying things differently, doing things differently etc. What works in one area does not work in another area, that is just a fact. Doesn't mean someone here should think how someone speaks in another area is wrong. AND it shouldn't mean for the people that say hun or sweetie or darling in their areas to think it is ok to say in other areas where you don't say that. I swear a lot sometimes but I also know where and when not to, should be the same type of thing with "name calling", depending on where you live and the situation. Pretty easy stuff."

Thank you for that post.

One of the high schools I attended required that all students addressed each other as miss or mister. Of course, all the students thought it was weird, but it wasn't worth the trouble of fighting it.
(Yes, I know I am showing my age.)

Seems today the media is pushing lowering of standards with shows like Honey Boo boo. People acting badly sometimes seems all the rage. It is peoples own choice how they act. IRL no one is getting paid to act badly. And no, I am not saying calling someone sweetheart where it is the norm is acting badly.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 87
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 9:44:39 AM

all I can say is i'm glad there are people out there whose biggest problem in the world is all the sonsabitches who won't stop calling them sweetie.


LOL



And Vlad and Naysayer, I laughed at the cluck off... but then I was born and raised with puns and find them very punny. Guess I have low form wit too. :)


Read Cowboy's question wrong and thought he said if a guy with a big package showed up to help you load your car, would you let him. I was trying to figure out how she would KNOW he had a large package. Apparently I'm a little tired...

on topic,

The one actual endearment that bugs me more than a little is being called Baby. Get it a lot and have never liked it, but never made a fuss. It just isn't a turnon; it makes me feel five :)
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 88
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 10:10:13 AM
Feather21- I do it a lot, it's common here in the south.
I don't do it at work, that's not professional.
I also don't call just anyone sweetheart, etc., it's a term of endearment I use for friends and family.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Unless someone says it sarcastically, I don't think twice about it.
Besides, I'd rather be called sweetie or sweetheart that the B word.
 KrazyChikk
Joined: 7/11/2013
Msg: 89
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 10:37:22 AM
I answer to Sweetie, Sweetheart, Hon and Honey, Lovey, Fluffycakes and all of the above.
And If you catch me at the right time, I'll answer to Candy and Trixie too ;)
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 90
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 11:54:48 AM
KrazyChikk- LOL! :D
Finally, someone on POF with a sense of humor.
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 91
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 12:05:51 PM
Let me call you Sweetheart, I forgot your name.

No I don't think it bothers me. Then again, I've never minded "girl". I remember once on I Love Lucy when Lucy and Ethel were looking for a job and the ad said "girls wanted". Ethel said she didn't think they were girls. Lucy said yes when you divide all of the people up into boys and girls, they are girls.

I think it bothers me most when a man I just am starting to know calls me a term of endearment because I'd rather wait til he did think I'm special. But when strangers in a store do it I don't mind.
 forumfella
Joined: 10/18/2013
Msg: 92
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 12:07:57 PM
But, but but...Some women do look cute and sweet. :D
...I've had one snap at me after calling her cute...Dogs are cute...I am not a dog!!! I was just taken back..sorry I meant it as a compliment. :O
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 93
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 12:44:14 PM
Just call them "honey bunches of oats".
Problem.... solved.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 94
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 1:52:43 PM
I answer to Sweetie, Sweetheart, Hon and Honey, Lovey, Fluffycakes and all of the above.
And If you catch me at the right time, I'll answer to Candy and Trixie too ;)


I don't mind most of those terms, however, I don't like to be referred to as "Cupcake". That term is almost always meant to be derogatory---and is usually uttered by some jealous shrew, and not a man.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 95
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 3:21:59 PM

"Every area of the country has their own way of saying things differently, doing things differently etc. What works in one area does not work in another area, that is just a fact
As a teenager (17-18) I lived for a year or so in Tennessee. The first time someone called me a "chick" I was stunned. Didn't take me long to figure out it was a commonly used term by male or female. No big deal! Also the term "Hun". I admit, I STILL use that term!.................. LOL During the last half, of my second marriage, my then husband, didn't call me anything. Not even my name. If he had something to say he would just wait till I walked past him, and start talking. He once stood in the doorway leading from our kitchen to our family room (lower level) for a good ten minutes, waiting for me to look up at him. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, and I waited to see if he would call to me. ( No I wasn't having a conversation with someone else.) Nope! Turning my head in his direction, I finally asked, "Do you need something or want to talk to me? His reply, "Yah, I was just waiting for you to come up to the kitchen". .........................Sooooo, anyway, I don't normally sweat the small stuff. I take most things in stride, consider the source, and the environment, the intent of the speaker. Obviously there are few words I won't tolerate.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 96
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 5:09:59 PM
Like I said earlier, depends on where you are at and lots of posters agree and they also like some names and not others so the point is really what area you are in. Now when in a relationship, then hopefully both enjoy what each other calls one another, totally different. For me, babe or baby is the norm, but in a relationship. I will say maam in a restaurant or "excuse me" to get their attention, I would never say hun or sweetheart or sugar but that is because of where I am from and where I live today. No one area is universal as far as what is the correct way to talk. The one thing I will never agree with no matter who says otherwise is when a man calls his wife his "old lady" and a woman calls her husband her "old man". That is beyond ridiculous.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 97
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 6:01:14 PM
The one thing I will never agree with no matter who says otherwise is when a man calls his wife his "old lady" and a woman calls her husband her "old man". That is beyond ridiculous.
Spoken like a true gentleman. Thank you, John255317, I couldn't agree more!
 Blueline294
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 98
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/3/2013 6:07:04 PM
The one thing I will never agree with no matter who says otherwise is when a man calls his wife his "old lady"

^^^^
Agree 100%.. I always thought that had to be the biggest slap in the face to a spouse.
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 99
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/4/2013 5:43:46 AM
Right so now we have a scenario where you know the person
and know their name.
I would still say hen until told otherwise.
But if its a lassie i didnt know who was struggling to lift something
then i would say 'you needin a hand hen?'
Like cowboy said i was taught to open doors, hold doors
open and be polite. Only once have i had that thrown back in my
face when i was told that she did not need a door held open she
could open it herself.
So i closed said door in her face then put my foot behind it so it
opened slightly, hit my foot and banged back to hit said nippy
female.
Oh how we laughed.
I would hate to work in offices these days as it seems that anything
said can be used to denounce you on the pretext of offence (and a nice
claim for compensation).
Yes bullying should be crushed but what the hell happened to banter
in the work place?

Your da is 'your auld man' and your ma is 'your auld dear'
If a couple are being married they have a stag do and a hen night respectively.
Now i have never heard of a hon, babe, sweetie etc night. But the hen nights
are usually 'mad wummin' nights.

Hen Party: “A party or gathering for women only, given in honor of the bride-to-be

Edinburgh Hen Weekends
Edinburgh isn’t just popular for a hen weekend, but it’s popular for everything
else too – being named as one of Britain’s most desirable places to live, it’ll
certainly make for a special and unforgettable send-off.
Pairing it’s beautiful backdrop that’ll have you pulling out the camera at every turn
with an amazing nightlife that benefits from later opening hours,
Edinburgh packs in everything a hen party needs and then some –
and here at Hen Heaven we have the Edinburgh hen weekends that make it a
breeze to see and sample all of the best bits
http://www.henheaven.co.uk/edinburgh-hen-weekends#.Unef3zDFJcs
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 100
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 11/4/2013 6:54:33 AM
hen

noun
1.
the female of the domestic fowl.
2.
the female of any bird, especially of a gallinaceous bird.
3.
Informal: Often Disparaging and Offensive. a woman, especially a busybody or gossip.
Origin:
before 1000; Middle English; Old English hen ( n ) (compare Old English hana ****; cognate with GermanHenne; akin to Latin canere to sing

Related forms
hen•like, adjective
hen•nish, adjective
Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2013.


hen (h n)
n.
1. A female bird, especially the adult female of the domestic fowl.
2. The female of certain aquatic animals, such as an octopus or lobster.
3. Slang A woman, especially a fussy or nosy old woman.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published byHoughton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

What is the origin of the expression 'henpecked husband'? a hen is the female of the common domestic fowl. the term is loosely applied to females of other bird species and also to the female homo sapiens. the present 'kitty party' was earlier called the 'hen party'. a hen frigate was a ship where the captain's wife interfered with the duty or regulations, the captain being called the 'henpecked husband'. mohd. shafi, aligarh the term henpecked is an offensive one meaning to annoy, criticise, harass or dominate a husband or male partner through continual nagging and fault-finding. the term 'henpecked' is formed from the word henpecked from hen's practice of plucking the****

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/200742056.cms
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