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 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 126
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetiePage 6 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
"Ma am is considered a greeting of respect in most of the civilized world, just not your world it seems. "

I have and continue to live in many parts of the globe. From Europe, North America and the tropics Ma am is not considered respectful. Just how far have you traveled to have the opinion that the civilized world considers Ma am to be respectful. I think the word you are looking for is Madame. But then you need to know if she is married or not.

"what the h3ll else do you want to be called "

When you are addressing a stranger who happens to be female, (which is the point of this thread,) why the do you need to attach a label of any kind?

Why can you just say: nice day, nice to meet you, how are you doing, may I help you etc., without adding Ma am?
Why complicate a situation by adding Ma am, when you don't need to, especially when you already know many women don't like it.

I don't get it. Why look to cause drama?

This women who is a stranger just might become your sweetheart. Give it time before you add your labels. She might even just tell you her name.
 naysaying_knicktwist
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 127
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 3:54:52 PM
vlad dracul
So you could say 'you wantin a hand hen?' Or 'here madge ill grab
that you get the corgis' but if she got offended like some on here would and insisted
on being addressed proper like it would be

'Can a gie yi a hand wi that Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of
Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and of her other Realms and Territories Queen,
Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.'?

Tough choice that is like.



"Because he's a lying **stard, he's never been out of the garden."


Haha - I laughed out loud, Vlad. Thx for those.
 smithwhitehawk1
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 128
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 4:14:01 PM
Why do you have such a strong aversion to being addressed directly with a name that is Not disrespectful .Otherwise all a person has to go on that you are speaking to them is eye contact, if you can establish it. In every language a word exists to address a female , Senorita Senora ect...If it was not for a reason it would not exist in every language on the planet.
Hawk
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 129
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 4:20:36 PM

moraima:
When you are addressing a stranger who happens to be female, (which is the point of this thread,) why the do you need to attach a label of any kind?

Why can you just say: nice day, nice to meet you, how are you doing, may I help you etc., without adding Ma am?
Why complicate a situation by adding Ma am, when you don't need to, especially when you already know many women don't like it.

I don't get it. Why look to cause drama?


Some people.... If you just dropped something and didn't notice, I could say "Excuse me, Ma'am".

Or "Hey You", or maybe "You in the red top". Which would be more disrespectful?

Some people are just looking for a reason to be But Hurt........
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 130
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 4:21:13 PM
one of the gas stations I frequent, has a pretty young lass who uses these terms. Or I should say, she seems to be younger than the women I would expect to hear it out of. Were I to find out I'm the only guy she uses this on, I would suspect she's interested in me.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 131
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 4:22:10 PM
".Otherwise all a person has to go on that you are speaking to them is eye contact, if you can establish it. "

I would estimate that 90% of the time, a stranger knows that you are speaking to them
Saying Ma am could still possibly mean that you are talking to the women behind them.

"In every language a word exists to address a female , Senorita Senora ect...If it was not for a reason it would not exist in every language on the planet."

The existence of the word requires you to know their marital status. With a stranger you do not know that.

Please answer the question as to why you need the word Ma am to identify the person you are speaking to?

Chances are pretty good a women know when a man is speaking to her.
 smithwhitehawk1
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 132
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 4:38:18 PM
Moraima
I don't use it 90% of the time, just when I think the situation warrants it. The use of Ma am or Sir or young man or miss along with eye contact will usually get it done. I'm betting you already know this but just want to be obstinate .
Hawk
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 133
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 5:26:38 PM

I'm native American so I'm going with Poke A hot ass the Indian princess


Right….you posted this disrespectful junior high garbage at least twice, but SHE is “butt hurt” and “obstinate.”

OT……some guys have no social skills, common sense, or experience speaking to real live women in real life, and have no idea how to converse like an adult. Writing a lame message calling a woman “sweetie” or “honey” or whatever probably gives him more of a thrill than his usual nightly stint on the couch with a bottle of hooch, a bag of corn chips and a Kojak rerun.
 smithwhitehawk1
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 134
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 6:01:43 PM
Fleuron
I posted that remark that far on the disrespectful scale to make a point. If you going to complain about being called Ma am
and I agree that honey baby or sweetie are out of line then pick something that you don't find objectionable . To say that you
don't need a way to address us is simply stupid .I did put it out there,and no one has offered a more acceptable way to address a woman you are not acquainted with .So ladies I ask again, how would you prefer to be addressed.
Hawk
 naysaying_knicktwist
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 135
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 6:21:37 PM
Hawk, I got what you were doing there ('MA'AM! Calm down, Ma'am!') and found it funny. I even snorted at 'Princess Poke-a-Hot-Ass,' I'm kinda afraid to admit, LOL.

For me it's about intention - is the person's intention good? I've been called hon in a condescending manner, but for the most part, strangers who have called me Hon, Sweetie, Dear, etc, have had good intentions as far as I can tell, so I have enjoyed it as a pleasant social exchange. Same with Ma'am - I don't think I've ever been called Ma'am or Miss with anything other than good intentions.
 smithwhitehawk1
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 136
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 6:35:53 PM
naysaying knicktwist :
Thank you, for understanding where I was going with that. In all my life ,and I was raised to be polite Ma am was never
viewed as not polite or ugh. I ask you as a woman is there a new reference out there that I don't know about that is preferred.
Hawk
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 137
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 7:16:23 PM
" I ask you as a woman is there a new reference out there that I don't know about that is preferred."

Yes, preferred is to use no label at all.

How hard is that!

I would say to a stranger: excuse me, what time is it - excuse me, can I help you with something etc. I have no need to think about what label to put on a person.

" I'm betting you already know this but just want to be obstinate ."

That comes off as "accept what I call you or I will call you a worse thing", which is the usual response a women gets if she doesn't accept labels she finds disrespectful.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 138
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 7:27:05 PM
Moraima, the word Ma'am IS an expression of respect. Even the Chinese language has a loose translation "simu". And I have been around the world, and know this to be true.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 139
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 7:32:12 PM
"the word Ma'am IS an expression of respect. Even the Chinese language has a loose translation "simu". And I have been around the world, and know this to be true."

The word you are looking for in English is Madame. Ma am is slang. Slang is not used when being respectful to a stranger. Do you really expect to impress a stranger with slang.
 smithwhitehawk1
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 140
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 7:40:50 PM
Moraima
I wasn't asking you, I guess cat ladies are not interested in conversing with people in person and need no such label's at all.
So go pet your cats wile the rest of us sort this out.
Hawk
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 141
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 7:47:15 PM
"I wasn't asking you, I guess cat ladies are not interested in conversing with people in person and need no such label's at all.
So go pet your cats wile the rest of us sort this out."

A. Where do you get the idea I have a cat(s)?

B. Where do you get the idea that women who prefer no labels have no interest in conversing with people in person?

C. Thank you for proving what I was saying. You expect compliance of how you speak to strangers or else you will insult them.

I figure that anyone who doesn't think before they speak or who doesn't care how they come across to strangers will have people state that they don't like being spoke to that way.

I have a question to all people who have the need to attach labels to strangers they meet. Do you question strangers who speak to you without attaching a label to you about why they didn't attach a label.............

Why won`t you answer as to why you use a label at all!
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 142
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 8:13:54 PM
ma'am noun \'mam, after “yes” often ?m\
—used to politely speak to a woman who you do not know

—used to speak to the Queen or to a woman of high rank in the police or military (Copied from the Merriam-Webster dictionary) Hawk, you can call me Ma'am anytime.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 143
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 8:23:22 PM

moraima:
The word you are looking for in English is Madame. Ma am is slang. Slang is not used when being respectful to a stranger. Do you really expect to impress a stranger with slang.


That's a Strange World You live in..... I spent the 1st 25 years of my life in or around the US Military.....

Sir and Ma'am are the proper response to a Superior.. If you think it's disrespectful to be called Ma'am, then it's all in Your head.......
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 144
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 8:27:26 PM
My dad was in military for a while when he was younger, and also was uber into respect titles. We were bombarded with the talking to adults with a ma'am or sir.

And I lived down south in junior high and a chunk of high school. In the deep south, they called everyone of a certain age ma'am and everyone younger with a miss. The less respectful was 'y'all" LOL

When I come across a person who does that, I either assume they were from the south or in the military and that they are trying to be respectful as their either upbringing or job training or military taught them was respectful. But I never know if I"m going to get called miss or ma'am. (ma'am always makes me feel older; but I know it's meant well) Getting called missus though, that one I take exception to, since there was a lot gone through to make me no longer be a missus anymore.

And I think having a person called cat lady would maybe not be considered a label of respect...in any culture.

Just sayin'.
 smithwhitehawk1
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 145
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 8:37:34 PM
Ladyinred4755
Thank you .......MA Am ...much obliged for the Webster reference .
Some people appreciate being addressed in a polite way and some I guess just like it to sound rude without a label.
Hawk
 sun_and_cinnamon
Joined: 12/3/2013
Msg: 146
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 8:57:17 PM
ma'am is disrespectful or offensive?!? geez guess all those southern gents are screwed....
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 147
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/8/2013 10:15:21 PM
So now Ma'am is disrespectful? Lol this is getting well bizzare now. So
earlier i told yous how the head of 'the firm' madge has the full title below

Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of
Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and of her other Realms and Territories Queen,
Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.'?

So you arrive in the wal mart car park one day, its chaos. Corgis running everywhere.
Yes madge is popping in for some jaffa cakes to have with a cup of tea.
Now you happen to know where the jaffa cakes are.

So do you shout 'oi madge, the jaffas are this way'?
No no no no only WE can do that.
Yous are colonials or former colonials so its not on.

Yous lot have to say (obviously only the madge and ma'am bit)
On presentation to The Queen, the correct formal address is 'Your Majesty' and subsequently 'Ma'am'

'Oi your majesty, i happen to know where the jaffa cakes are ma'am follow me'
Now if madge doesnt mind being called Ma'am then im sure the precious ones can survive it
as well.

Oh and if next queen in line kate runs in to use the bog this is how yous former colonys and colonials
address her
For other female members of the Royal Family the first address is conventionally 'Your Royal Highness'
followed by 'Ma'am' in later conversation

So its not 'here garden gate the bogs up this way' pay attention.

Ma'amgate rumbles on

Vlad laughing his cotton socks off because he usually has nowt nice to say about 'the firm' Dracul
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 148
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 1:10:45 AM

moraima:
The word you are looking for in English is Madame. Ma am is slang. Slang is not used when being respectful to a stranger. Do you really expect to impress a stranger with slang.


Ma'am is not Slang, it's a Contraction of the word Madam. It is no different than contracting Do Not to Don't or You Are to you're... Also note the English spelling is Madam without the 'E'... Madame with the 'E' is the French word which translates to My lady in English...

Also, in the USA, the most common place you will see Madam used in the news and such is referring to a Lady who runs a Brothel.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 149
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 6:52:12 AM

Ma'am is not Slang, it's a Contraction of the word Madam. It is no different than contracting Do Not to Don't or You Are to you're... Also note the English spelling is Madam without the 'E'... Madame with the 'E' is the French word which translates to My lady in English...

Also, in the USA, the most common place you will see Madam used in the news and such is referring to a Lady who runs a Brothel


I always thought ma'am was a contraction of 'Madam', too. When I was younger, I sometimes cringed when I heard myself being addressed as such, but now that I'm 'of a certain age', it does not bother me at all. I consider it a form of polite respect.

Thanks for the laugh BehindBlueEyes< Madam = Brothel Owner< Too true!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 150
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 10:11:50 AM
My father was British SAS, and later raced yachts for various members of the British Nobility. After coming to Canada, my father was with the Canadian Military Reserve for a number of years.
Never once did I hear my father address any women as Ma’am.
Regardless of what some posters want to think, in places other than the Southern USA and USA military, ma'am is slang. The fact it is an abbreviation is what makes it slang. Ie. Using the lazy form of a word.
Of course, Madam is English and Madame is French. Where I live, you sometimes are called Madame in an upscale setting, and Madam in a lower scale setting.
In many places in the world, bilingualism is part of the culture, ie. Canada. Many of the words are interchangeable between English and French.
I sure wish someone could post an explanation here as to why a label of any kind is necessary when addressing a stranger.
Of course, Madam is English and Madame is French. Where I live, you sometimes are called Madame in an upscale setting, and Madam in a lower scale setting.
Imo, in 2013 addressing a strange male as sir is too formal, and hey you is rude. I won't even use the word dude because it seems disrespectful, especially to a stranger. I do not use any label when addressing a stranger. If they choose to tell me their name, I will then address them by their name.
I found it quite amusing what Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct replied to being called Ma ‘am that made it clear that Ma ‘am wasn’t acceptable to her. That was back in 1999.
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