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 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 151
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetiePage 7 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I found it quite amusing what Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct replied to being called Ma ‘am that made it clear that Ma ‘am wasn’t acceptable to her. That was back in 1999.


I'm not especially fond of "Ma'am", either---it's a label often reserved for an older woman. Yeah, I know I am one, but I don't like it brought to my attention. I'd rather be addressed by a stranger as "Miss".
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 152
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 10:38:13 AM
I thought that madam was the female person running the whorehouse.
I get called "ma'am", "miss"," young lady","senora" " Miss Cindy"...
hell I don't care as long as I'm not called late for dinner.
I call my cat Your /HisMajesty, and generally if I try to pet him-without a clear indication that such attention is permissible!- he very politely nips or swats me.
Anyone who would address me as "Mam'selle" would be advised to see their eye doctor.
Cindy O
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 153
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 11:15:55 AM

moraima:
My father was British SAS, and later raced yachts for various members of the British Nobility. After coming to Canada, my father was with the Canadian Military Reserve for a number of years.
Never once did I hear my father address any women as Ma’am.
Regardless of what some posters want to think, in places other than the Southern USA and USA military, ma'am is slang. The fact it is an abbreviation is what makes it slang. Ie. Using the lazy form of a word.


So today your Father wouldn't know how to address the Queen and the Queen is so Hip she is called by Slang...... I would think as a Subject of the Crown, you would know this....

http://www.debretts.com/forms-of-address/the-royal-family/communicating-with-the-queen/addressing-the-queen.aspx

How to Address The Queen

Recommended Etiquette

Upon being introduced to The Queen, and on leaving, a bow or curtsy is made.

The bow is an inclination of the head, not from the waist.
The curtsy should be a discreet but dignified bob.

In conversation, address The Queen as 'Your Majesty', and subsequently 'Ma'am' (to rhyme with Pam).

When conversing with The Queen, substitute 'Your Majesty' for 'you'.

When introducing another person to The Queen, simply state the name of the person to be introduced:

'May I present Mr John Smith, Your Majesty?'
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 154
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 2:17:11 PM

moraima wrote:

The word you are looking for in English is Madame. Ma am is slang. Slang is not used when being respectful to a stranger. Do you really expect to impress a stranger with slang.


No, I am not looking for the word that describes the woman who runs a brothel. I'm looking for Ma'am. The word enlisted men and women use when addressing a female officer. As for Madame, the etemology is french Ma Dame, or "my lady", however, the meaning in the English has changed over the centuries. The British properly say "My Lady" when addressing the wife of a lord. As for a female commoner, it is Mu'um, similar to the American version, still showing a sign of respect, regardless of "station" in life.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 155
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 3:03:42 PM
(crystal_planet) Why? Did you steal alcohol from Nikola Tesla?


Of course not, you Silly Person. Seeing as how ole Nikki died 22 years before I was born, that'd be a neat trick...

The point of my fireside-chat-like homily wasn't to get into a Nerd-Fight about whose egg-head reached the patent office first; it was to illustrate that the major component of success is perseverance in the face of (apparent) failure. Although I don't think I have it in me to drink 10,000 botched Bailey's Irish Creams...
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 156
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 3:03:45 PM
The definition for Wiktonary, " ma'am is mostly obsolete, with a few exceptions."

I understand that sweetheart/ma'am is used in the south, and that it is used in the military in the USA.
The south of the USA, and the USA military terms are not used in other parts of the world with the same types of respect used by that group of people. Earlier in the thread, I stated that if I knew (accent) that the person was from the south, I wouldn't give it another thought if that person called me sweetheart/Ma’am.

"So today your Father wouldn't know how to address the Queen "
Today, if he was still alive, my father would address the Queen as Your Majesty each and every time.

"The curtsy should be a discreet but dignified bob."
When attending formal classes as a child to curtsy, it wasn't even close to what you describe.

From the Official Website of the British Monarchy: royal.gov.uk
"There are no obligatory codes of behaviour when meeting The Queen or a member of the Royal Family, but many people wish to observe the traditional forms."
If the Queen liked the rules the way they used to be, the rules would not have changed.
I am giggling to myself thinking, maybe one day the Queen said “if one more person calls me Ma’am……………

What does addressing the Queen have to do with speaking to a stranger? As you can see from the British Monarchy site there are no obligatory codes in 2013. Shaking hands are acceptable.

Some people don't mind being addressed as sweetheart/ma'am. Some people don't like it.
If you don't know the person, why risk calling them something they don't like.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 157
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 3:05:12 PM
I think all these guys who are determined to use any title with a woman who is a complete stranger to him, particularly “ma’am,” should go right ahead and do it and find out what a big hit it will be.

Otoh, “ma’am” is how lowly subordinates address female military officers, so maybe it’s appropriate after all.

I never call a man “sir” and wouldn’t unless he was a judge or somebody who was gonna leave me money.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 158
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 3:09:27 PM

(fleuron) I never call a man “sir” and wouldn’t unless he was a judge or somebody who was gonna leave me money.


So you'd call a John "sir"? Gotcha...

Arlo...
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 159
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 3:34:38 PM

moraima:
I understand that sweetheart/ma'am is used in the south, and that it is used in the military in the USA.
The south of the USA, and the USA military terms are not used in other parts of the world with the same types of respect used by that group of people. Earlier in the thread, I stated that if I knew (accent) that the person was from the south, I wouldn't give it another thought if that person called me sweetheart/Ma’am.


I would venture to guess this site is comprised of mainly English speaking people and among them Ma'am is a proper title for a Lady past a certain age.... We're not talking about how people refer to each other in Timbuktu or BFE... That you have a problem being called Ma'am is really no concern of mine... If I called a Lady ma'am and she had a negative response to that, I'd just think how Rude she was... As for Sharon Stone in the movie Basic Instinct, that was because she didn't think Ma'am was sexy enough for her character... Do you take your Social clues from a actress playing a Murderer?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 160
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 3:49:22 PM
"I would venture to guess this site is comprised of mainly English speaking people and among them Ma'am is a proper title for a Lady past a certain age..."

I didn't know it was written in stone somewhere that Ma'am is a proper title for a lady past a certain age. What is that age? How does a strange decide how old the women is. That makes no sense.

"I would venture to guess this site is comprised of mainly English speaking people"

Why would you assume that people who speak English all over the world use the same word for the same meaning?

" If I called a Lady ma'am and she had a negative response to that, I'd just think how Rude she was... "

She is thinking you are rude for using ma'am. How hard is it to figure that out.

" As for Sharon Stone in the movie Basic Instinct, that was because she didn't think Ma'am was sexy enough for her character..."

The line was, "Don't call me ma'am, I would prefer you called me b*tch rather them ma'am. It to emphasize that many women don't like to be called ma'am.

This is all just more of certain people thinking that they can call any women any label they want, and the women just has to accept it, or they will name call.
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 161
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 5:25:17 PM
How can you live your lives that way?


Miserably. That's my best guess.


She is thinking you are rude for using ma'am. How hard is it to figure that out.


I can see why it would be difficult for a guy to figure out why a woman would take offense to being called ma'am, since it is NOT a rude thing to call someone. In fact, it's just the female equivalent of "sir."


The line was, "Don't call me ma'am, I would prefer you called me b*tch rather them ma'am. It to emphasize that many women don't like to be called ma'am.


So a woman would rather be called a derogatory, disrespectful name than have a man treat her with respect. Gotcha. I keep forgetting some broken women don't like being treated with respect.
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 162
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 7:23:18 PM
So what would be the correct way for some poor sod on minimum wage
working in a restaurant serving tables to address folk?
Normally it would be 'are you ready to order sir/madam?' Only for them
to get bollocked out by some po faced harpie objecting to being called
Madam.
Nobody stands a chance when dafties go out their way to find something
to be offended by.
Faces like a pit bull chewing a wasp just waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting
hapless minimum wage worker to vent their anger because no one will take
them serious and just laugh at them.
Christ there is so much going on in our various nations yet using a term of mild
endearment or respect or politeness is seen as some kind of thought or word crime.
Be like working/socialising with one of those fools who would denounce you
to the hurt feelings stasi just to get attention.
As the saying goes ye reap what ye sow so heres hoping all those who seek offence
and are so precious they break if someone says the wrong thing have the po faced lives
they deserve.

So to the normal folk have a nice day hen, sweetie, darlin, gadgie, geezer, mate, sir, bud, ma'am, lassie, laddie, china etc,
etc, etc

To the po faced knickers in a twist lol enjoy your own company as im sure no normal folk do.
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 163
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 7:52:51 PM
The year 2014. The world is changing. Fast. To combat the rise in terms of endearment
a new force was formed. Dedicated to making all citizens into drones.
Given the power to judge and sentence on the scene of the crime these were the feared
hurt feelings police also known as the

PO FACED PO LICE

Led by officer Judge Shrieking Harpie three Po Po enter Esmes Eggplant Emporium
and diner (its in america see, as we dont really have diners in scotland)

Whats happening Judge Harridan?
Well Judge Harpie this perp over here addressed me as i walked in, the perp said, the, the per
Spit it out Harridan
The criminal said can i help you ma'am?

Judge Harpie stared at the young waiter standing there.
You scum, i bet you say other proscribed words like darlin, missus, hen
and sweetie? 6 years in a Po Faced Po Lice re education camp
perps like you make me sick.
Take him away.

Sorry Judge Harpie you are under arrest as well.
Why Harridan?
You called the perp by a gender specific term its outlawed
under the Gender Convention on Human Rights.
Six years for you as well im afraid

Lovely bit of work that was thought Harridan, promotion for me.
Wooo wooo

(poke a hot ass was not in the diner at the time might i add)

Vlad cannae bo peep Dracul
 smithwhitehawk1
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 164
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/9/2013 8:37:30 PM
Vlad
Yea, I'm sure she wasn't there, did say something about going out with Running Bare though .
Hawk
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 165
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/10/2013 12:05:15 AM
It's tricky. Have a guy I'm communicating with now. He calls me sweetie though I have told him my name. Unfortunately, my experience with guys on POF has been that the ones who call me "pet" names from the start or too soon are the ones who are only wanting sex...no matter what their profiles state.

I absolutely hate being called "ma'am", but I am in the south and I am an older woman. It's not just the south, either. One of the men on the forums called me that and I teasingly said "tell me you didn't just say that" cause he's not a young whipper snapper himself. He's from the north and he said t's just the way he was brought up.
 naysaying_knicktwist
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 166
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/10/2013 4:07:01 AM

The year 2014. The world is changing. Fast. To combat the rise in terms of endearment
a new force was formed.


Oh mercy. As soon as I saw this, I knew it was going to be good. I laughed til I cried. Judge Harridan! (You just can't let go of that eggplant though, can you?) But then - THEN. I saw this:


Sorry Judge Harpie you are under arrest as well.


And stopped laughing, sobered by your sheer mental prowess. Because although it hasn't yet happened, you are already mocking it, because you can already see what's coming next: "Do not call me 'her'! Do not label me a 'she'! I take offense! I take it everywhere I go!" And you headed it off at the pass, to use one of the American-isms (such as 'eggplant') you so adore. That's a brilliant bit of bo-peeping, Vlad.


Christ there is so much going on in our various nations yet using a term of mild
endearment or respect or politeness is seen as some kind of thought or word crime.


Procol said similar above. Same observation here. People that experience this level of anguish if called "Ma'am"? I want to live that well.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 167
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/10/2013 6:01:30 AM
“In fact, it's just the female equivalent of "sir."”
Not here in Ontario. No one address a stranger as sir either.

“Do you people really get your panties in a knot if a woman or man at the diner calls you sweetie?
How can you live your lives that way?”

Do you think that people who don’t like an environment where staff throw words like sweetie around are worried about not going to diners. Not to mention what else the environment of a diner is like.
Around here diners are called greasy spoons. I don’t know people here who go to diners once they finished school. Unless the diner is a up-market theme diners of the 50st. style , where staff calling customers would sweetheart etc. would not be acceptable to management. Hopefully, diners are nicer where you are.

Over the last couple of decades, I have been to East Side Mario’s often with dates and with friends. Food is good and reasonable priced. Wait staff are both men and women working their way through university. I can’t remember once hearing the wait staff attaching a label to any of the customers. It is always, “hi, my name is………., how are you tonight, can I get you a before diner drink, have you decided what you want to eat”.

“So a woman would rather be called a derogatory, disrespectful name than have a man treat her with respect. Gotcha. I keep forgetting some broken women don't like being treated with respect.”

Good grief. The line is to tell the person she won’t be treated with disrespect. To her ma’am and b*tch are words that she doesn't like being called. The b*tch was to get his attention, but she already knows he does not get it. It was also designed to tell the guy she has no interest in him, and to shut the conversation down.

“So what would be the correct way for some poor sod on minimum wage
working in a restaurant serving tables to address folk?”
How about can I help you folks?

“Normally it would be 'are you ready to order sir/madam?' Only for them
to get bollocked out by some po faced harpie objecting to being called
Madam. “

Sir or Madam/Madame (here the English use the French pronunciation) is not being discussed here, and aren't the problem.

“Christ there is so much going on in our various nations yet using a term of mild
endearment or respect or politeness is seen as some kind of thought or word crime.”

No, just some women telling strangers not to get overly familiar with them. Not a big deal. Just a tedious thing that happens sometimes with certain strangers.

“Be like working/socialising with one of those fools who would denounce you
to the hurt feelings stasi just to get attention.”

Point that you are missing is that they don’t want your attention.

“To the po faced knickers in a twist lol enjoy your own company as im sure no normal folk do.”

We enjoy the company of like-minded people, and are happy when you don’t try to join us again.
It is amusing that people who don’t get to get away with their over familiarity are the ones name calling.

“PO FACED PO LICE”

The story reminds me of the kindergarten boy who takes great pleasure in pulling all the girls pigtails. Then a new little girl joins the class. The boy pulls her pigtail and she turns around and pulls his hair. He is shocked. How dare another child pull his hair! So he starts insulting her to try to get her to accept him and his ways.
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 168
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/10/2013 6:39:19 AM
This is the first time I heard someone think using words like sir or ma'am are offensive to virtual strangers. When I check into a hotel, walk inside a retail store etc; some employees will say "Good afternoon sir", "Can I help you with anything sir?". This is not just limited to the South.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 169
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/10/2013 9:47:00 AM
chill....i dont get offended by ma'am.....it's just....how do I explain. I was brought up to say "yes ma'am", etc to women in authority and/or women of a certain age. No problem....until the first time someone said "yes ma'am" to me! To a certain extent it indicates the woman has reached/passed that "certain age". It's not considered offensive where I live or anywhere I have lived. It's considered polite and the norm. If some people get offended...well, I just say "bless their hearts". hhahahah
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 170
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/10/2013 10:07:14 AM

To a certain extent it indicates the woman has reached/passed that "certain age".
LMAO ahhh jlynn, The first time one of the young'uns at work, said, "Yes Ma'am " to me, I had a mental knee jerk reaction. Only took me a few seconds to recover and chuckling, I replied, "Thank you"!...................Ahh, the perks of being older and wiser, AND respected! JUST MY HUMBLE OPINION!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 171
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/10/2013 10:37:45 AM
"Ahh, the perks of being older and wiser, AND respected! "

My problem with that is that on the rare occasions I do hear ma'am, is when I have been put in a position where I have to tell a repair/service man that has done work that isn't satisfactory, and he is annoyed that this mere women had the nerve to make him fix the problem he has created. Yes ma'am said in a sarcastic manner, and a glare is his response. He knows that he has lost business.

Well, it has been an interesting discussion. I wish you all Season's Greetings. I probably won't have time for the forums for a while, as I will be away for the winter.
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 172
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Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/10/2013 11:26:30 AM
Moraima
Ah ha at last we agree on something. A fantastic idea of a no mans
land where ne'er the twain shall meet.

But hey folks come to the uk and visit a restaurant you better steel
yourself for being called sir or madam.
Just the way it is in the old world im afraid.

Pigtail pulling never appealed to me alas but do you not think that
over the course of this thread you have been intransigent and
combatitive?
You see only your view and seem incapable of understanding that
to SOME in fact A LOT of folk its no big deal.
I was taught to respect women, hold doors open, surrender a seat
and to do so with a polite (in scotland) there you go hen/missus theres
a seat. On you go hen you go in the door first. You needin a hand missus?

So you do not like anyone addressing you. Thats your perogative.
Youve argued the toss over hen until it was pointed out i talk scots
english. You have argued about ma'am. Although the most famous and
recognised woman in the world has no problem with it.

You must have hated living in england with endearments done in
regional languages using words particular to that area.
Was it london where love and dahlin are particularly used?

Aye im having a laugh. Because i cannot understand why its such
a big issue.
Tell me something please. If you and a geezer both left a shop counter at
the same time and the assistant noticed you had dropped money. What
would they shout to get your attention. Or more to the point what would you
want them to say?
If stopped by the polis they usually address you as sir or madam.
Excuse me sir/madam could you answer a couple of questions?
Or
You, come here i want you to answer a couple of questions.

One shows a bit respect the other is like a 'i thought you were talking to the dog'
Basil fawlty type scenario.

As a stranger does not know your name what DO you expect them to call you?
If it was a white geezer and a black geezer standing there how would you address
the one you wanted to talk to? Would you just point and say 'you'
Because as rudeness goes pointing and barking a command is pretty ignorant.

I consider myself to be a normal run of the mill working geezer but in that scenario
id say 'here mate, aye the black geezer can i see you the now.
Nothing confrontational as both would answer to mate (in my world anyway) and you
have stated a fact because ones black ones white.

To be honest im in two minds whether you are serious or on a wind up.

If its a wind up well done because we have all bit. If its real then i would hate
to see your reaction if someone insulted you. But then if ma'am is an insult
then in for a penny in for pound.

But anyway i hope you have a boss crimbo and new year and hopefully
you can get through it without too much aggravation.

As for the 2014 post sorry but anyone who gets that upset about someone
thinking they are being respectful and who is unaware that their version
of being polite and using hen, ma'am etc is some kind of slur then the easily offended
deserve to get a taste of the hurt feeling syndrome.
Do you never stop and think you are hurting the feelings of folk trying to be pleasant? Thinking
they are being courteous?
Probably no.
Im glad i live in my world.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 173
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/10/2013 11:57:31 AM
LOL
this thread has turned into something of a tempest in a teapot, hasn't it?
Look, terms like "ma'am" "miss" "young lady", are pretty innocuous, IMO. "Sweetie", "hun" even "darlin" are kind of judgement calls depending on the setting/situation.

I can understand people, especially women, not caring to be called "sugar buns" , "babe" "sweetie pie",etc by someone they don't know very well, or just in day-to-day interactions with various people.
I get called "ma'am" and I really don't mind. I also get called "miss" and "young lady" . I doubt it would do me any good to tell somebody " I'd rather b called '****' than 'ma'am'...for one thing I WOULDN' rather, and for another thing I really DO look like I could bench press a 1958 Chrysler, nobody'd DARE call me '****" for fear I would HURT them.
Moriama, I hope you have very enjoyable travels!
Cindy O
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 174
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/10/2013 1:31:25 PM

moraima:
My problem with that is that on the rare occasions I do hear ma'am, is when I have been put in a position where I have to tell a repair/service man that has done work that isn't satisfactory, and he is annoyed that this mere women had the nerve to make him fix the problem he has created. Yes ma'am said in a sarcastic manner, and a glare is his response. He knows that he has lost business.


I was at a Deli a while back... The Lady in front of me was upset that they put mustard on her sandwich....
The Clerk explained that, that particular sandwich is made with mustard unless told otherwise.....
She was upset because her normal Deli would ask before putting mustard on her sandwich...
This went back and forth a few times..... Finally the clerk said Yes Ma'am with a touch of sarcasm in his voice..
In each of their minds they were right, & nothing the other said was going to change that......
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 175
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 12/10/2013 1:54:42 PM

(moraima) “In fact, it's just the female equivalent of "sir."”
Not here in Ontario. No one address a stranger as sir either.


We must live in different Ontarios, then, because I routinely address strange males as "sir".
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