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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Marriage, Is it a must???      Home login  
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 Xray86
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 101
Marriage, Is it a must???Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Religons built their empires with slavery. Just maybe that man(because it was a man that wrote them) could have included (on that tablet) the fact the people should not be owned, kept or ruled over by other people.


What? You might want to take a couple of world religion classes. Your opinion is generic and inaccurate, no offense. While there were and still are religions that take advantage of people like any other institute ran by humans, that doesn't mean that every single religion out there is a bad thing. A lot of charities are religiously funded and operated. And since it appears you're taking a jab at Christianity, why would it actually matter who wrote on "that tablet?" The writings are obviously written by men, but Christians believe that the writings are divinely inspired and run on faith in these writings as a source of their beliefs. That's the whole point of most religions, belief in something absent of scientific fact or data. And the scriptures (Bible, Book of Mormon, etc.) heavily implied that slavery is wrong. No justification of slavery if all people are equal, all are made in God's image, love thy neighbor, and a bunch of other things that kind of indicate that slavery is frowned upon by God. Not sure where anti-religious people get their facts, but I still havn't found in the Bible where slavery's okay.
 Xray86
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 102
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/11/2013 1:16:11 AM

Maybe you should "bone up" on your sources before you go around declaring yourself the "RESIDENT" anything. Elsewise, we are getting the impression that all you are doing is repping a bunch of head-in-the-sand ignoramuses. If ignorance is bliss, you must be pretty happy.


Maybe you should do some research and reading of the Bible before putting modern spins on the verses you quoted. And I don't take too kindly of people I'm "repping" being a bunch of ignoramuses.

If you read all the verses of Leviticus 25, the slaves you were calling are actually servants and bondmen. The chapter also goes on about how to deal with servitude in an area that has established slavery or serfdom, which was common at the time among non-believers (Gentiles). If you buy a person's services, you're not to rule over them with vigor. As in no whippings and other violent acts over people that you are now responsible for.

As for Exodus 21: 2-6, I'm just gonna copy what I read and people can judge for themselves. Be mindful of the prior paragraph regarding terminology. 2 - If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. 3 - If he came in by himself, he shall go out by himself: if he were married, then his wife shall go out with him. 4 - If his master have given him a wife, and she have born him sons or daughters; the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out by himself. 5 - And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free. 6 - Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him for ever.

Yeah I need to copy what the Bible reads for Exodus 21: 7-11. Pretty self-explanatory. 7 - And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do. 8 - If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her unto himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her. 9 - And if he hath betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters. 10 - If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty (also known as marital rights) of marriage, shall he not diminish. 11 - And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money.

Exodus 21: 20-21 is a little tricky and requires a little study to truly understand. 20 - And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he (the servant) die under his hand; he shall be surely punished. 21 - Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money. What verse 21 actually means is if the SERVANT continues (living) for a day or two, then he's not to be punished. For he is his money could be interpreted as the servant is his own worth and doesn't deserve such treatment. Or that the "master" should treat his employees with worth.

Yep, I still don't see slavery in any of this. Yes the Bible we read is King Jame's version. Just like the other Christian churches.
 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 103
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/11/2013 3:15:40 AM
^^^Have you heard of Christopher Hitchens....check out many of his debates on utube...you believe what you want...I don't want to derail this thread.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 104
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/11/2013 4:39:44 AM

Could YOU love, live with, commit yourself to and be happy forever without ever getting legally married or would that bother you



As I age, and especially within the last year, I am starting to realize that I'm starting to get less and less bothered about silly shiat. I mean, like the stuff that doesn't "really matter". This is one of em. I will have to add though I could happen to change my mind if there is was a free bar.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 105
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/11/2013 4:46:44 AM
If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve

well that settles it. the bible says I can buy a jewish pool boy so it must be okay, but I can only keep him for six years. fair enough, i'd probably get bored with him somewhere in the middle of year #5, anyway. Sheldon, Sheldon!! where's my lotion??!?


If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty (also known as marital rights) of marriage, shall he not diminish.

polygamy is also permitted but only for men, and first wives are still allowed to eat at the same table, wear clean clothes, and be mounted on schedule!!

yee-HAW
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 106
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History
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/11/2013 4:56:36 AM
[uote]- If his master have given him a wife, and she have born him sons or daughters; the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out by himself. 5 - And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free. 6 - Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him for ever.


I see. So according to this, after the pool boy Sheldon has done his six years service, he can leave, but his wife and children have to stay and tend the pool. If he doesn't want to desert them, then HE has to stay and tend the pool until his death. Sounds like freedom and justice for all to me.

Oh, and then Motown has to perform an earlobe piercing on him, no explanation about why. Maybe it's to do the old-style version of "chipping," where owners used to put metal tags through cows ears, as an alternative to branding. Note motown: you are NOT required by scripture to sanitize your ear poking awl, so there's a real savings there.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 107
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/11/2013 11:12:46 AM
^^^^

Holy cow... remind me to not start a thread last post first; trying to figure out what on earth got the thread to that post was really interesting. Slavery, six year pool boys and earlobe chippings... I am wiping my eyes...

Dunno if marriage is a must but reading this topic is a must; anthropology 101 at its best :)
 Xray86
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 108
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/11/2013 12:22:01 PM

Have you heard of Christopher Hitchens....check out many of his debates on utube...you believe what you want...I don't want to derail this thread.


You know what, I agree. I got defensive with earlier postings because I felt people were nitpicking crap when I was just wanting to throw in my two cents and question why not get married. This gotten way off topic and I apologize for my part in the derailment.


polygamy is also permitted but only for men, and first wives are still allowed to eat at the same table, wear clean clothes, and be mounted on schedule!!


I never did agree with polygamy in any society. Disgusting practice but that's just me.


I see. So according to this, after the pool boy Sheldon has done his six years service, he can leave, but his wife and children have to stay and tend the pool. If he doesn't want to desert them, then HE has to stay and tend the pool until his death. Sounds like freedom and justice for all to me.


Exodus 21: 4 was the only verse that made me raise an eyebrow. I'm sure it was some Jewish custom or something pertaining to that verse but I havn't done the research on that. And verse 6 ties in with 5 because Sheldon would only get his ears pierced if he states that he doesn't want to leave. As to why Sheldon likes his employer that much, who knows. Maybe great benefits, maybe the wife given to him was the master's daughter or other female relative. Reading and discussing this got me real curious about the customs involved in these verses, I'm going to research that further.

ANYWAYS regarding marriage, you do whatever you want for your relationship. But if you're going to marry into your employer's family, read Exodus and Leviticus on what's proper, haha.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 109
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/11/2013 2:39:03 PM
Actually in modern western society getting married is the one thing you do not do if you are a man . Marriage is no longer a viable thing to do . A man has to weigh all the punishments and possible punitive awards he will have to pay when his wife decides to cash in on him . The divorce rate for first time newlyweds is now going over 50 % in first 3 years and over 60% second time you get married and over 70% if you get married for a 3rd time . Marriage is no longer of any benefit to a man , so why do it . The risks far out weigh any imagined benefit .
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 110
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Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/11/2013 3:08:27 PM
"Marriage is no longer of any benefit to a man , so why do it . "

Considering old women aren't any more interested in marriage than you are. No reason to worry about having to make a decision to remarry.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 111
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/11/2013 3:25:55 PM

"Marriage is no longer of any benefit to a man , so why do it . "

Considering old women aren't any more interested in marriage than you are. No reason to worry about having to make a decision to remarry.


This is what I keep thinking.

A majority of older men nor women see any reason to get married. Yet some keep protesting they aren't going to do it, when no one is asking them to.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 112
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Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/11/2013 3:49:19 PM
" Yet some keep protesting they aren't going to do it, when no one is asking them to."

Some that is true of some not so much.

At my age, I find it is more men my age rather than women who want to marry. I am not going to speculate as to why, except I do find that some feel it is what women want.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 113
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/11/2013 3:58:05 PM
You people are insane, I will never marry any of you, not the man not the woman, not the object of my desire. Some people want your very soul, and I will not relinquish that<
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 114
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Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/12/2013 7:55:43 AM

Could YOU love, live with, commit yourself to and be happy forever without ever getting legally married or would that bother you?

Not live with unless we have power of attorney and other legal matters we would need to share in writing
including wills and shared account ect.

Ever have a family want you out of a hospital room when your SO is having surgery after you have been with him 7 years and given up your home to make one for him or her?
The kids just waiting to pounce and get your things out of the house and get what they want of his out?

My friend went through that and it was horrible.

I would have def required something in writing after that myself, but I don't know if she ever did.
I don't tend to ask questions that are "nun muh".

Different states have different laws. I could be beneficial to go either way as far as money which most of us are concerned about.
You do need to have some legal rights to make decisions for each other if that committed.

 imlivin
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 115
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/12/2013 9:08:07 AM
Wow, this has gotten a lot deeper than I expected. So for those who do NOT want to get remarried doyou ever worry about growing old and being lonely? That is probably my only concern, dating is fine at 30, 40, 50 but at 60-??? it just seems implausible.
 Midwest_Southwest2
Joined: 11/1/2013
Msg: 116
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/12/2013 10:13:17 AM
I don’t want to marry out of fear of being old and alone. That seems like a terrible reason to want anything- fear. I want to be married because I liked it- I loved it. I love daily life with a positive person, the many things that people call “little things," but are big things to me- the little touches, kisses in the kitchen, sharing comments about what’s in the paper, being attuned to another person’s life and receiving the same, laughing, chatting, sharing passion… and the formality and seriousness in saying that you both want that for and with each other. Fear? Bad reason. Doomed, imo.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 117
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Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/12/2013 11:03:23 AM
"So for those who do NOT want to get remarried doyou ever worry about growing old and being lonely? That is probably my only concern, dating is fine at 30, 40, 50 but at 60-??? it just seems implausible.'

Why?

Have you not yet learned how to be happy without needing someone to live with?

Living a full, comfortable life doesn't require a partner by many of us.

I haven't been lonely since I got over grieving my late husband.
I too wouldn't have thought it possible not to get lonely. Happily I learned that isn't the case. I found that once you build a network of friends that you enjoy, life is great.
We are too busy enjoying our daily life to get lonely.
Having recently retired, it is great to have more time to do whatever you want, when you want.

Imo, marrying is not the answer to avoiding loneliness.

Scares the hell out of me that there are people who want to marry to cure their loneliness. That is asking for big trouble.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 118
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/12/2013 11:08:16 AM

Wow, this has gotten a lot deeper than I expected. So for those who do NOT want to get remarried do you ever worry about growing old and being lonely? That is probably my only concern, dating is fine at 30, 40, 50 but at 60-??? it just seems implausible.

I'm with the posters above - I don't want to settle down, get married or stay involved to avoid loneliness - I have a bunch of friends, family, and luckily I kind of enjoy having solitude when that happens as well. I know I wouldn't want someone attaching to or staying with me out of fear of being alone.

You won't avoid being alone/single no matter what you do. Many of us will be single and/or alone a few times in life. Your best bet is to learn to find comfort in it so that you don't compromise yourself in an effort to get away from it...it's not fair to you or anyone else to be in that situation. Network - stay connected with people, make friends, volunteer, keep in touch with family...
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 119
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/12/2013 1:16:12 PM

Have you not yet learned how to be happy without needing someone to live with?
Living a full, comfortable life doesn't require a partner by many of us.


There is no right or wrong when it comes to the want or feel a need for a spouse. or lack of. Some people are happy living with a spouse and would be less happy if living alone, and others prefer solitude and don't want a live-in partner. People have to live with the cards that life deals them, but to tell people they must be happy living alone without a partner and there is no other option is no different than telling people who choose to remain single that they can't be happy unless they're married. People have different life style desires, and what people choose for their goals and desires is right for them. What's wrong is telling people how they must feel in various situations, and it's wrong to have a different opinion.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 120
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Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/12/2013 1:22:14 PM
" People have to live with the cards that life deals them, but to tell people they must be happy living alone without a partner and there is no other option is no different than telling people who choose to remain single that they can't be happy unless they're married. People have different life style desires, and what people choose for their goals and desires is right for them. What's wrong is telling people how they must feel in various situations, and it's wrong to have a different opinion."

I don't believe for a moment that someone isn't a better partner if they first develop the ability to have a non lonely single lifestyle, then move on into having a partner if they wish.

Too many relationships start because at least one of the people just can't deal with being single for multiple different reasons. That breeds expectations of the other person not living up to curing the issues of the person who can't deal with being happy alone. Looking for others to make us happy never works.
 aanarchist
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 121
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/12/2013 2:12:38 PM
the legal institution of marriage is stacked so heavily against men, who can get ruined financially through divorce and all that other crap, that there's simply not enough benefit from it to go through with it, actually there's no actual benefit from it for a man at all. i play on giving my future wife a shiny engraved ring when i decide she's the one, but there's no way in hell i'm going to be part of society's bullshit by going through with a formal wedding, nor do i see the point of throwing away the money for it when i could invest it into something of actual value.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 122
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Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/12/2013 2:54:12 PM
Lonely? No
Sex ? Yes
Need someone to mow the lawn and to try new recipes on? That would be good.
If I found a man that was as enjoyable and as relateable as a great friend would be.


actually there's no actual benefit from it for a man at all

^^^^^^^^^
I sure wish that other than a child or fabulous sex you would show or tell me what a man has given me other than my father.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 123
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/12/2013 3:04:10 PM

Looking for others to make us happy never works.


That would work out to be a good deal for guys in the dating world if women followed that philosophy. That would mean guys don't have to provide free meals and drinks, no gifts and cards on those special "buy stuff" days, the couple goes dutch on every date, etc. If a woman says anything about not being happy about it, a guy can simply say "Happiness is your responsibility. It's not my job to make you happy". Is that how making yourself happy works?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 124
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Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/12/2013 3:52:26 PM
" Is that how making yourself happy works?"

Are you really saying that think that "guys provide free meals and drinks, gifts and cards is your definition of happiness to a women?
In your world, has no women given you free meals, drinks and gifts?
What does meal, drink and gifts have to do with happiness?

All this nonsense about women gaining through marriage financially and men get nothing.

Guess a lot of guns were put to some men's head to force them into marriages they didn't want.

Happiness has nothing to do with a finances.
 forumfella
Joined: 10/18/2013
Msg: 125
Marriage, Is it a must???
Posted: 11/12/2013 4:49:28 PM
Not sure if it's a must anymore, but it sure made the workday go a lot nicer and faster...looking down at your wedding ring and knowing someone would be waiting for you at home at the end of the day.
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