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 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 18
Reasonable time to wait to meet in personPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
A week to ten days max and I’m out. Done.

No, wait. This is killin’ me…


she also continued the conversation, (with a preposition… to continue the conversation topic though!!!)

I’m dyin’ to know which preposition works that way. Is it ‘but? ‘despite’? ‘until’?

I think I’d sign off with ‘over’, ‘past’ and ‘without’.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 19
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Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/7/2013 1:57:27 PM
Email back and forth a few times > propose a meet to get to know each other more organically > only communicate about specifics of the meet at that point from then on out is the basic progression.

If someone BSes about the meet, then they don't get any more communication - it's not worth the time in enough cases that it would be a time sink overall.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 20
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Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/7/2013 2:09:32 PM
I think it's too long, your idea sounds in the right ballpark to me. She ought to say "Sorry, not that interested" instead of stringing you along in the hopes that you'll just sort of fade away. If you are really interested, you can suggest it can be a very short meet, but you should tell her directly that waiting till after Christmas is too long for you, you're looking for someone who wants to move a little faster than that. If she's really interested, she'll figure it out. If she's not, she'll come up with some excuse and you'll have your answer.

And, just because you think the two of you get on well and you want to meet, her difference of opinion on that doesn't make her a 'serial chatter'; it makes her not very interested in you and a little too afraid of confrontation to say so directly.
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 22
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/7/2013 3:09:07 PM
Maybe she doesn't want to add you to her Christmas gift list?..just like all those people that break up 2 weeks before so they don't have to buy you a present?
 Crystal_Planet
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 23
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/7/2013 4:08:54 PM
Eight weeks for a meet? Nuts to that bs. It's a meet, not a proposal - good God I really don't get this insane "let's message until we forget why we are here" mentality.

I had three messages back in forth over a period of two days with a lady before I suggested a meet. She answered with a resounding "Hell yes" and we met. That was two days ago. I'm just getting ready with my dinner date now.

Why is the concept of face to face meetings lost on some folks?
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 24
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Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/7/2013 4:22:26 PM
A week or two is reasonable...
I know people who don't date new people close to the holidays. I was one of them. But then again, I wasn't looking and chatting with people at that time either.
She musn't be that interested. I think in this case she is just using it as an excuse. If she really wanted to wait until after the holidays to date, she wouldn't be here answering emails.
 MrRoboto27
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 25
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/7/2013 6:53:15 PM
Myself don't like to chat much on here and try to seal the deal by the 6th or so message because they will find someone else. Don't forget you're facing against hundreds of guys in your area for this single women. I would not wait that long for any women. If she was truly interested she could easily make room for 1 hour date but if she can't even do that then shes just delaying and waiting for another man to come along.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 26
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/7/2013 6:57:40 PM
OP: unless distance is an issue, waiting 7 weeks is ridiculous.....especially if you just want to do a drink meet of some kind as this would not take more than an hour or so. It's possible, she has a bunch of stuff going on until the holidays so you could limit contact now, continue your search and if after the holidays, you both are still available, willing to meet and set a date, I would think that's not a big deal..... Good luck.....
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 27
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/7/2013 7:26:09 PM
This is my general method for online dating.

1. Exchange about 3-5 emails each way.
2. Optional. 1-2 phone calls.
3. Set up a date / meeting.


Usually this can be done within 1-2 weeks. Sometimes it might take somewhat longer because of conflicting schedules, one person is on vacation or a business trip etc. But if I knew I wasn’t available for almost 2 months, I would take a break from dating until that time period is over.
 usmale6
Joined: 9/14/2013
Msg: 28
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/7/2013 11:00:51 PM
^^^^^^^^^what chill said is perfect. If you keep making posts like that, I'm going to become obsolete around here!
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 29
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/8/2013 3:57:18 AM
Excellent post in Message# 29 by Chill78 above.
This person will be living life between now and Christmas...
That leaves plenty of room for a glass of wine, cup of coffee, and walking around town chatting.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 30
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/8/2013 4:10:41 AM
This is all a bit of a smokescreen really. I don't think whether this women is reasonable or not, is the real issue here. You're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

What is more concern to me, is that you seem to be putting so much time, effort and thought into someone you've never met. Are you exclusive with this woman already? You've never even met her for goodness sake. There's really no benefit from second guessing her intentions or reasoning.

Here is what I would do. Tell her if she wants to wait until after Christmas then no problem, just message you when she's ready. Don't bother saying anything else, just send, forget and move on. If you hear from her after Christmas - game on. If not - no loss. It's really not as complicated as you seem to be making out, and you seem to be much too committed to someone you've never met.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 32
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Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/8/2013 5:57:16 AM
I didn't read all the replies. I don't think it is necessarily the BS answer the others do. The holiday season tends to be family intensive. She may not want to deal with a new relationship during this time. However, if she was really interested in you she wouldn't put it off that long in fear of you moving on. I would venture to say she probably isn't all that interested and feels if you cant wait no big loss. Continue communicating if you enjoy it but I wouldn't bet on anything coming of it.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 33
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/8/2013 6:21:41 AM
It sounds like you've been catfished. The signs were there-making lame excuses to not meet, blocking you when she (he) feels you'll be pressing for a real life meet. At least the person didn't start asking for money.
 sweetpe4u
Joined: 11/4/2013
Msg: 35
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/9/2013 9:14:13 PM
After Christmas?!? I wouldn't bother with her, OP. Time vampires are everywhere. Anyone who has any interest in a person would not ask them to wait that amount of time for a first meeting. There are others who would gladly like to meet with you in the meantime.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 37
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Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/10/2013 10:01:36 AM
She's still mmmaaarrriiieeeddd or is in a relationship that's ending after the holidays...that's fine, continue your chat but just look elsewhere as well.
 justwondering111
Joined: 8/18/2013
Msg: 39
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/10/2013 12:52:54 PM
I agree with Lexti. I see no benefit in waiting on and on for a first meet. From my experience, people seem a lot different on line than they do in person. That is not necessarily bad, you can't tell if there is really any connection until you actually meet in person.
 redapple1111
Joined: 11/3/2013
Msg: 40
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/13/2013 3:39:20 PM
I just went through this experience... He wanted to talk on the phone for hours.. I told him I would like to meet and he could not see what the hurry was?? He had every excuse not to.. When I talk to someone online and we have so much in common I feel like i am holding a lotto ticket and want to see if I got a winning ticket
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 41
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Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/13/2013 11:58:07 PM

He wanted to talk on the phone for hours.. I told him I would like to meet and he could not see what the hurry was??


Most likely married
 FloridaRes123
Joined: 5/11/2013
Msg: 42
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/14/2013 2:09:34 AM
Yeah, indeed a stalling tactic or just not really serious about meeting anyone. With the holidays coming up, using the holidays as an excuse is rather common .


We're talking about 5 miles as the crow flies,


Wait a minute ONLY five miles?! I think you've waited too long when you made this post. LOL!
 aanarchist
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 43
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/14/2013 5:32:03 AM
how about be a man and ask her what's going on instead of the forum sharks. be like yo, i think you're pretty cool but asking me to wait 2 months before i even meet you in person, and saying something like i want to get christmas out of the way is a strange excuse. don't come off as accusatory or aggressive, just use some balls and lay your cards on the table, say that you're looking for a relationship and aren't into games. if she's planning on ever meeting you she'll either give you a legitimate excuse, like she just doesn't feel comfortable with meeting someone before knowing them more, or whatever crap she might be going through, or she'll realize that she's bullshitting and apologise and agree to set up a meeting.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 44
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History
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/14/2013 12:32:21 PM
It's all fun, games and secretive until you meet. Meeting puts everything personal at risk if you really are not presently available (or your profile has bogus info.)


Reply to below...

"Just the right amount of fun" take too much time to type when I log on...
 Iseedudpeople
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 45
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/14/2013 12:36:50 PM
^^^ Like someone who calls themself too much fun and it might turn out they're actually JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF FUN.... ?

Which might be even better !

Some people piss themselves when they have too much fun !

Not good ...IMO

: )
 misingular1
Joined: 3/31/2013
Msg: 46
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/15/2013 4:06:47 AM
I tend 2 wait no more than 10 days .. also I do not spend my time emailing back and forth .. if they reply back and seem interested in getting acquainted then it is right to the phone conversation .. how does one really get to know someone vis email only
 onlythegooddieyoung13
Joined: 11/18/2013
Msg: 47
Reasonable time to wait to meet in person
Posted: 11/27/2013 11:41:38 AM
She's trying to be nice and/or searching for someone she thinks is "better" than you. Move on!
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