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Joined: 10/26/2013
Msg: 41
This is a Black & White thingPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I've also have been on this site for a short period of time. And I've had a lot of men who appeared to be interested, Black and White. But I had yet had the conversation turn sexual. I have a date planned tomorrow with a white guy.....hopefully he doesn't turn out to be some horny dog....Lol To me talk like this is a pure turn off, in the first couple of meets.
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 43
view profile
This is a Black & White thing
Posted: 12/4/2013 1:09:19 AM

So in light of my ignorance on the subject, I really want to know if this is just normal to expect.
Hell no. I can’t believe you have to ask.

The last thing I want to talk about while getting to know a complete stranger is SEX. No white or black man talks to me about sex.
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 44
This is a Black & White thing
Posted: 10/31/2014 4:32:19 PM
Hey, it's batpool!

I agree that it's "implicit bias" or ignorance. They probably wouldn't be comfortable with the relationship because of a fear, deep down, that black women are somehow different than a white woman...BUT they know you ARE a woman and that means they can at least have sex with you. (or try)

Just my thoughts. Hard to tell where the ignorance comes from. People need to get out of the house and go see the world. It'll help with experiencing other races/cultures/whatever...and get over the fear and ignorance.

Also, the internet is a melting pot of 12 year olds without adult supervision.
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 45
view profile
This is a Black & White thing
Posted: 10/31/2014 4:51:04 PM

PS. Since I was recently given back my power to speak for all Men at the monthly meeting Switzerland, I can safely say that they ALL want to do you.



I almost snorted my wine I was laughing so hard....lmao

Nope not black or white or red or yellow....

Just SOME men feel that this is a good way to get, MAYBE, some free porn...

As for those men saying things like "if he was HOT, she wouldn't have a problem with it"...

Believe it or NOT,some of us don't actually toss our self-respect out the window just because a guy is PRETTY....

Sleazy is sleazy for me, and if you can't treat me with respect and dignity as I do YOU, then Brad Pitt or NOT, I am NOT interested...
A relationship, imo, is about more than just sitting there admiring the other person's beauty...
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 46
This is a Black & White thing
Posted: 10/31/2014 5:31:24 PM
Yes I prefer Billy Bob too. Brad Pitt doesnt do it for everyone. That is by the by. Her profile says she joined 11 months ago so I guess this a redundant post. She would probably have left the site in disgust by now.
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 47
view profile
This is a Black & White thing
Posted: 10/31/2014 6:32:14 PM
I did not know that some people judge others through the color of their skins and not the level of their intelligence..
If you are talking to a few white or black guys, bear in mind that these people doesn't represent the whole population of white race or black race mentality.
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 48
view profile
This is a Black & White thing
Posted: 11/1/2014 8:51:45 AM
(...people just go into some crazy battle mode when you are a black man, always looking down the ground when you walk know because they just assume, that if you give a black man any hope, they will pounce, and ladies, that mobile/cell phone thing is not fooling anyone, the way they whip their phones out, just so you don't talk to them, the way you will be talking a woman, chit and chat and they will tell you "they are married" ...just out of the blue.)

Poolliver134, what you just described I find is common in certain environments. I live in NYC, which we all know is rich in diversity. I can honestly say YES, I AM THAT WOMAN who does this...when necessary. I do not do this just because a man is of any race...I do it because of how the man is carrying himself and what I know of him. For the most part, when I'm around men who carry themselves with pride and are willing to accept not every woman will be interested in them, nor should they feel obligated to be (whether they are blue-collar or white-collar professional males), a woman will NOT find herself needing to do this.

Single women of ANY background will say they are married or in a relationship when they find themselves around a man who is interested in them but the feelings aren't mutual. I have told men I'm in a relationship when I've been single whenever I've found myself around a guy who can't seem to take no for an answer...or when I'm absolutely certain I do not want to be approached by that man again.

As far as black men specifically, when I find myself needing to do what you've described, it's not because he's a "black man." It's because he's a "certain TYPE of black man."

The population of my neighborhood is very diverse in terms of ethnicity. I have lived there since 1998, and have been approached by black, white and hispanic men. I honestly have never dated a guy from my neighborhood, as I've yet to encounter one that I'm interested in. Whether through online dating or in my every day life, I get approached by just as many white men as black men, followed by hispanic men.

Specifically when it comes to the black men in my neighborhood, there is a significant amount of them who are rather aggressive in their method of approaching women...and not in a good way. Imagine:

-Being polite and saying hello because a man greets you...and going forward that man follows you in a grocery store, or if he sees you in the local hair salon, he will come in to "conveniently" chat with one of the hair stylists or barbers...yet he's staring straight in your face the entire time while he's talking to these people. Has happened to me, more than once...very uncomfortable. This type of guy will just be in your face every time you turn around...

-Walking down the street on a NYC sidewalk (which is rather wide in my area). A man is walking towards you but not directly in your path. When he sees you, he will suddenly shift himself so that he is directly in your path so that he can try to talk to you/bump into you...even though he knows you're not interested in him?

-Many black men will try to MAKE you talk to them...even when you have clearly said and/or have shown behavior indicating you are not interested in dating them.

-Many will take it even further and will say snide comments about you as you walk by them, making sure they speak loud enough so you can hear them. They do this hoping you will get angry enough to say something back to least in that case, you are giving them some kind of attention.

-Many will act like they hate you when you politely say "no thank you" when they ask you out. Over the years in my area, I've been called all types of names (including b!tch), screamed at from across the street, etc. I know it sounds crazy (as it is). Never have I been treated like this by the white or hispanic men in my area who I've turned down...but unfortunately by a significant amount of black men, I experience this.

Again, while I do think men of any background can be aggressive (in a bad way), I've honestly found there is a certain demographic of black men who behave like this...not all. But I think it unfortunately happens enough in certain areas in America that causes women to do tactics that Poolliver134 described. We are simply trying to nip it in the bud/keep it moving so that we will not have certain least that's what many of my friends tell me. And sadly even as a 40 y/o woman, I still encounter men like this...frequently.

As far as educated middle to upper middle-class black men, they tend to back down when they see you clearly are not interested...although a few of my friends have said some will pull the "I'm an educated black man, I'm a rare breed and you should feel so lucky I'm interested in you" mentality...but I've seen white men who have this attitude as well if they are of a certain financial status...I won't put up with either...I'm simply interested or not, doesn't matter who you are.
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 49
This is a Black & White thing
Posted: 11/1/2014 9:16:24 AM
This whole post made me think of that 10 hours video...
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 50
This is a Black & White thing
Posted: 11/1/2014 10:06:57 AM

This whole post made me think of that 10 hours video...

I saw that video. While some men did go too far, I felt the majority of it was harmless.
Joined: 12/24/2013
Msg: 51
This is a Black & White thing
Posted: 11/1/2014 11:40:46 AM
On POF, every white guy that has messaged me so far quickly tried to turn the conversation into something of a sexual nature. However, that has not been the case on other dating sites. I tend to think of it as a "just so happens" more than "POF white guys are ***holes".

Black men on here...Some bring up sex really fast. Most don't. Arguably, more black guys message me, so there is a larger sample size to look at.

I prefer to get to know a man better before talking about sex. I always make that known if they bring it up too early.
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 52
view profile
This is a Black & White thing
Posted: 11/1/2014 12:23:15 PM
I think many guys (regardless of ethnicity) will come at a woman from many inappropriate angles...just to see what he can get away with, especially online since they aren't face-to-face and will likely never encounter each other in real life in the event the woman doesn't go for it.

I think at this point my list of guys I've had to block is kind of even!

But I can say since being a member I have dated 2 white men from here...neither of which tried to discuss sex until I was ready to.
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 53
view profile
This is a Black & White thing
Posted: 11/2/2014 10:40:11 AM

AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnddddddddddd....he's BACK !!!!!

Still singing the same old BITTER tune,huh? Who is it now? Oh...right "poolliver"....

You REALLY need to seek HELP,dude....

Actually SOME women, really didn't enjoy being objectified THEN and actually DON'T miss it now!!!!

I KNOW.....Shocking, ain't it? lol But then again, I MUST be lying, being one of those "evil, conniving,self-serving b!tches", so , what do I know?....

Take your misogynistic anti-HUMAN views and go and see a really need one....seriously...
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 54
This is a Black & White thing
Posted: 11/2/2014 11:54:50 AM

Of course this vid, was shot over ten hours but they cherry picked black mens comments. Hollback (Makers of the vid) ignored all the white guys comments who said something. Also those brothers seemed mic-ed up because their voices seemed VERY clear

You make a good point here. The vid is obviously edited...but I was honestly wondering why there weren't any white dudes doing it. I mean, I've been to NY and I've seen that race isn't a factor when it comes to this. The size of the city, I think, IS.

Just to clarify, she isn't white.

It's hard to give you any credibility, though, because:

The question now is can the apple-user-experience provide the feeling of being harassed through an iPhone app. Perhaps women could connect their smartphone to a wearable webcam that scans for black men’s wandering eyes and calculates their path of vision. Too long on a random boob, and we'll get jail time

You have suggested this before. Except I believe it was an iRape app....
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 55
view profile
This is a Black & White thing
Posted: 11/2/2014 4:39:46 PM
(And this is just my opinion (I could be wrong) I think you HATE being harassed on the street but at the same time you THRIVE off it)

NOT THIS WOMAN! It is sometimes an issue to the point where I will walk the next street over to avoid these particular guys or even take a car service to my nearest subway. I will even cross the street only to re-cross the street to get to where I'm going. I'm NOT one of those women who does the "not interested means I'm really interested" game playing. Again, I have been approached by white and hispanic men in my neighborhood and have turned them down. It's that certain type of black man (not all black men) who have treated me like that...but it happens frequently.

(But would you have really been interested in any of those black men if they approached you in a nice friendly manner ?)

If I didn't find them For the record, there have been some black men who have approached me in my neighborhood where I wasn't interested but we still say hello when we see each other...same with the white and hispanic men.

(The attention you or other women get from hotter f*ckable men is not something you’d complain about but something women take for granted.)

When a man who I find attractive approaches me in the wrong way...I have turned him down. Now maybe there are some women who will put up with a guy treating or acting towards them any type of way (scratch that...I know there are) but not THIS woman. For example...I used to frequent a place with a few friends on a regular basis. There was a man who knew one of my friends who happened to be interested in me...however I did not like how he approached me...despite the fact that I found him attractive and there were other things about him that could potentially cause certain women to overlook his approach. I turned him down.
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