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 Lexti
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 61
Cutting Off SexPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
^^Bullshit back at you! If you ACT like a d*ck, then eventually, she will find another d*ck she enjoys sucking. It's been said here several times. A woman's emotional pleasure is tied to her physical pleasure. Just because she enjoys giving oral or having sex, doesn't mean she's going to enjoy it with someone she's no longer happy with.
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 62
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Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 12/22/2013 9:40:57 PM

Just because she enjoys giving oral or having sex, doesn't mean she's going to enjoy it with someone she's no longer happy with.


Who said anything about her not being happy with him? The only unhappy person in this scenario is the guy complaining about getting the BJ rug pulled out from under him.

Even if that hypothetically was the issue, then if you aren't happy in your relationship, you don't suddenly give up the bits you really like and stick around pretending everything is hunky dory.


A woman's emotional pleasure is tied to her physical pleasure.


Yea...that's code for: I really don't like giving blowjobs.
 Lexti
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 63
Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 12/22/2013 10:47:50 PM
The thread is regarding cutting off sex and why, not blowjobs, but apparently you have an obsession with them and is a bit disgruntled by someone that stopped blowing you.


Even if that hypothetically was the issue, then if you aren't happy in your relationship, you don't suddenly give up the bits you really like and stick around pretending everything is hunky dory.

And STILL you don't get it...there are MANY reasons people stay in relationships they aren't happy in. The fact that they've stopped having sex or "blowing" you is a sign that something is off. It is mindsets like yours that act completely blindsided when the relationships actually end long after the sex and blowjobs have stopped.
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 64
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Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 12/23/2013 12:21:07 PM

The thread is regarding cutting off sex and why, not blowjobs


I'm afraid it is you who have misinterpreted the OP. I mentioned blowjobs, because that is specifically what the OP mentioned. He did not say they stopped having sex, nor did he mention any other problem in the relationship.

He was specifically talking about how during the dating phase of their relationship, blowjobs were on the table, and once they got past that phase, they were no longer on the menu. The basic complaint here appears to be one of "false advertising".

It is you who went off on some irrelevant personal anecdotal rant.


apparently you have an obsession with them and is a bit disgruntled by someone that stopped blowing you.


Actually, I was really just putting a humorous spin on it, but that obviously went over your head. You might want to think twice about speculating on my personal life or personal attacks in general. Two can play at that game, and I guarantee you won't like it.

I'm not siding with the OP, as both parties do certain things to "woo" their partners while initially dating. And once you "have" them, there's little need to continue doing it...it has served its purpose. Men eventually stop plying you with compliments, flowers and dinners once you're past the dating phase as well. All's fair I guess.

But I guess I can see where the disappearing blowjobs might be a big disappointment for many men.

Which is why I stand by my original point....women stop giving blowjobs because they really never liked giving them in the first place.
 Lexti
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 65
Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 12/23/2013 1:17:19 PM
Did I hit a nerve?? Oooh, I love threats made over the internet. Lol. Sooo scary. Really. Stand by your point, carve it in stone. When you start giving blowjobs, ENJOY giving blowjobs, then you can give women the reason they stop doing it with their partners.
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 66
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Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 12/23/2013 3:49:27 PM

Did I hit a nerve??


No (like I said, I'm treating this as a humorous topic)...but I obviously did. (was it the the part where I destroyed your argument and made you feel stupid? ha ha). How else do you explain the straw men and hostile schoolyard retort?



When you start giving blowjobs, ENJOY giving blowjobs, then you can give women the reason they stop doing it with their partners.


Ok, so it looks like we are back on topic, but do YOU even know what that means?

There seems to be a pattern with you, and it is that you relate everything to your personal anecdotal experience, suggesting you lack a sense of empathy (let's not even open that Pandora's box). I am giving a somewhat empirical argument regarding human behaviour, so it isn't necessary for me to relate to it on a personal level.

But for the record, I was giving blowjobs while you were still in diapers. And I did it because I liked doing it (as in...it is a selfish act).
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 67
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Posted: 12/23/2013 4:14:58 PM

You will never convince me that a man can't tell the difference between a woman that is giving head because she's trying to "catch you" and a woman that is giving head because she likes to....


The flaw in your logic is that the person receiving the blowjob isn't likely to see that as a distinction.
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 68
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Posted: 12/24/2013 6:43:33 AM

Find a woman worth making happy, which is a difficult task in itself, and then go out of your way to keep her happy. If you can do that everyday you'll be forced to go commando everyday so as not to chafe your already sore twig and berries from all the vagina she tosses on it.


Except women who offer sex as a reward or treat it as an obligation AREN'T women worth finding in the first place (nor are the ones dumb enough to marry the man-child described above).

It goes without saying that you should treat your partner well in all respects. That's not the topic.
 deerdog1
Joined: 6/17/2013
Msg: 69
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Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 12/24/2013 8:35:44 AM

So I started talking to and asking women why this was. I'm good at getting answers when I want to.


answers or alibis ? the guilty almost always blame the crime on someone else

Im sure there are guys who deserve to be cut off..and Im sure that there are women that used sex to get a man and once in a relationship would loose interest in sex with the most helpful and romantic guy in this universe ..face it there are guys who just use romance to get a woman and when they have said woman they stop being romantic ...and there are women that use sex as bait for a relationship ..who no longer feel they have to bait the hook once he is on the stringer

then there are those women who should have known exactly what they were getting but chose to ignore that he was a lazy slob ..who only liked to drink beer and watch football..and grab a quickie during half time .. but she was so interested in getting a relationship.. or thought that she could change him after the I do's

and then there are those guys who were so intrigued by chasing the good girl that took months before she would put
out ..that he may not have considered that she might just not be into sex ..and it took so much poring on the charm to get in her pants ..that he never considered that he would have to continue to work so hard for it ..every time he got it for the rest of his life ..after the I do's

and then there are the ones of either sex that will always think the sex is greener on the other side of the fence ..because in many instances if he aint romancing you he probably is someone else ..and if she aint shagging you she probably is doing someone else

Im really starting think that marriage license should expire every 4 years ..like drivers license .. get them renewed if you like or go try on another model.. but then how would divorce lawyers make a living

conclusion ;; men and women who are complaining about this situation will never agree both sides are usually at fault they are doomed to either fail at the relationship or to live in misery ..nothing short of a miracle will make them communicate again ..but miracles do happen just not often
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 70
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Posted: 12/26/2013 11:30:55 AM
You make a woman happy, she's going to keep wanting to give it up.
That is the topic.


The OP doesn't state anything to suggest unhappiness on her part. It may be true...or not, but not really my point.

My point is that you give blowjobs (or whatever sexual act you'd like to suggest) either because you really like doing it (it pleases YOU)...or for some other reason (to please your partner, for money, you are really drunk, someone has a gun to your head).

What I'm saying, is that if it is the former, you don't just stop doing it. You don't deprive yourself of what YOU want because you are pissed at someone. When a man is in need of some vagina, the woman it's attached to could be the biggest b*tch on the planet...he's very unlikely to hold it against her vagina at that moment.

My advice is that if blowjobs are an important part of your sexual menu, make sure the girl you are dating isn't faking the part about liking doing it.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 71
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Posted: 12/26/2013 8:13:22 PM

My advice is that if blowjobs are an important part of your sexual menu, make sure the girl you are dating isn't faking the part about liking doing it.


actually...that was my point...
and you tried to pick it apart!!
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 72
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Posted: 12/26/2013 9:22:35 PM
actually...that was my point...
and you tried to pick it apart!!


I didn't pick anything apart...I simply stated that it isn't something a man is overly concerned with while receiving the blowjob. It's like...who cares, I'm getting a blowjob. It isn't so much that we can't tell....it's more like we don't care.

Perhaps we should be paying more attention? Between women being good at faking, and men being good at not caring, it's no wonder people eventually end up disappointed.
 Gideon_70
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 73
Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 12/28/2013 12:15:10 PM
Met a lady over ten years ago. She was nice, the sex was fantastic, and then we decided to get married.

I do, but she didn't.

A week turned into a couple of weeks. A couple of weeks turned into a month. A couple of months turned into a divorce. When I asked her why, she simply shrugged. Seems like I said something to her she didn't like but she never told me what it was. She was punishing me for it, anyway.

Honestly, this kind of attitude by women is why I rarely date.
 SmellyOne
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 74
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Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 2/3/2014 3:35:22 PM
I agree with MsMicki as far as telling enthusiasm from a female. I've had blowjobs from women who were just doing it to do it (time watchers) vs. those who made me wait to cum because they were too busy enjoying the blowjob they were giving and didn't want it to end just yet.

I will NEVER again date a woman who kind of likes giving blowjobs. They will eventually stop or be so infrequent because she wants "them to be special" and not just something that happens too often (which is a bullshit excuse anyway).

And as the other guy pointed out (sorry, I can't remember his name), it is true that if you LIKE doing it, you continue doing it. Many guys on here and other sexual forums will talk about their selfish wives and their lack of willingness to do anything but, because the men LOVE eating **** (and their women still want the men doing it), they continue to eat the **** of selfish women. Point proven. Women who stop giving head as a result of *insert reason here* didn't LOVE doing it to begin with.
 3mustgetbeers
Joined: 12/27/2013
Msg: 75
Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 2/6/2014 2:19:47 AM
Women reading Gideon_70's post might think that's an extreme case.It's only extreme because of the time span.Almost without exception,women will do this but it takes more like 1-3 years.The love chemicals in their brain can't last much longer than that,before they'e all expired.There is no longer any physical attraction to their partner and it doesn't matter how good he is.It's actually more likely to happen in a secure relationship.
It doesn't matter:
if he's handsome and good natured
if he's helpful,generous and thoughtful
if he's dedicated and hard working
if he's the hottest man there ever was in bed,and she never has less than 3 orgasms in a session.

He can be better at all these things than his wife ever was.Every day that his wife refuses his sexual advances she is telling him that:
*I am not attracted to you.
*I do not want to please you.
*I do not want you to please me.
When this becomes most days,it's time to leave because days become months and years with no physical show of affection.It also becomes obvious out of the bedroom.

On the other hand,a man can still be physically attracted to his wife 10,20,30 years after the wedding and even moreso than when he was first married.Get this girls:Most of you are physically and emotionally disfunctional,and you need to be traded in at about 3 years.

I have never in my life refused sex with a partner in any relationship.It didn't matter if :
*I had a headache
*I had a tooth ache
*I'd had a stressful day,or a stressful week
*I'd worked 20 hours that day
*I'd worked/played 90 or more hours with no sleep
*She had been unreasonable earlier that day.
There was never an excuse big enough to reject a partner and not find her attractive.
 DiezelPhoenix
Joined: 5/15/2013
Msg: 76
Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 2/6/2014 7:37:31 AM

Women, why when you are first dating do you give blow jobs and do all the great stuff and then once you feel comfortable in a relationship, why do you stop? This is so frustrating and guys are really getting turned off by this.


You answered your own question.
Because they get comfortable... and whose fault is it that they get comfortable? Just think about it.

There's a really deep answer and thought process that goes with the comfort level of two people within a relationship.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 77
Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 2/6/2014 9:51:59 AM

Women, why when you are first dating do you give blow jobs and do all the great stuff and then once you feel comfortable in a relationship, why do you stop? This is so frustrating and guys are really getting turned off by this.


Let's look at it, dating is different from being in a relationship, different from living together, and different from marriage. What some people don't understand is that you can date all through any other category. When you stop doing what you did in the beginning (dating) which is what allowed you to progress to a relationship/living together/marriage, you change the ending. In the beginning, you went out, you bought gifts, you thought of romantic things to do, you were always pressed and clean, you kept the disagreements to a minimum and negotiated to overcome the issue, you shaved all the time, etc.

What happens over time is that you forget what you did in the beginning, or you don't think you need to do those things anymore. When you change (stop doing whatever you were going), the other person changes to reflect those changes as well. Let's say you stopped shaving (when you use to do it every day or every other day), you start scratching her lips (pun intended), you are making it acceptable. She starts to feel disrespected and may not be interested in getting oral under those conditions. He then figures she doesn't want it, so he no longer has to do it, he'll keep the stubble to avoid doing it. She then starts to not shave as frequently either because you've made the "not shaving often" somehow acceptable. You both start scaling down on what used to be the norm. Next thing you know, you've veered so far away from the beginning of time, you are not interested in being with each other (sexually), but have settle on some sort of comfort because you still care about each other, just the passion is gone.

Comfort= thinking you can get away with not being the same person you were in the beginning, and taking him/her for granted. Yeah, you can love someone no matter how many transformations they undergo but when you cease to be at least a glimpse of who you were in the beginning, it's hard to sustain the same interest.

This is why I say people are who they are from a very beginning. The beginning can be sustained if both stay the same and care enough about each other, that the utmost consideration is had (you keep surprising each other, keep dating, keep finding ways to please each other, etc). It's natural for people to change over time, people grow, but people can grow and still sustain interest in each other if they continue to prioritize their union above all.

There were times in my previous relationship in which I "cut off sex". It wasn't intentional or some sort of punishment. I was not interested in having sex when I felt like he was emotionally disconnected from me, and was just physically there but not mentally there. He had lost both of his parents back to back and the slump of it all made it so that his mind was occupied with all that, which resulted in him making it acceptable to hold on to me while not participating in all aspects of a relationship. It was almost like I did not exist other than for body warmth, and warm holes to rest his equipment in.

I communicated something to the extent of "I'm not interested in being with the person you have become, it's selfish. You get to have your cake and eat it too, and I get to have shreds of the man you used to be. If you cannot make an attempt to value what you still have (me), then tell me now because it makes no sense to continue. I'm trying to be supportive but I also have to think about the fact that I'm feeling alone in this relationship" He semi-woke up and understood that if he didn't make an effort, he would lose me.

When you change, the other person changes.

You want to continue to get the blow jobs, the sex, the passion, the lingerie, etc? then don't change the way you treated her from a very beginning.
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 78
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Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 2/7/2014 11:51:57 AM

Get this girls:Most of you are physically and emotionally disfunctional,and you need to be traded in at about 3 years.


Gosh, I hope you are kidding. A lot of men are physically and emotionally disfunctional as well. I would hate to be traded in like a car every several years. LOL!
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 79
Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 2/7/2014 12:22:14 PM
On the other hand,a man can still be physically attracted to his wife 10,20,30 years after the wedding and even moreso than when he was first married.Get this girls:
Most of you are physically and emotionally disfunctional,and you need to be traded in at about 3 years.


Interesting contradiction.I thought no matter what men stay with a woman for 10,20,30 years!!

Hate to tell you,butin order for a woman to stay physically attracted to a man over the long haul,he has to be more than physically attracted to her! Without an emotional connection,you WILL get cut off sexually!

Call women dysfunctional,but without LOVE,sex is pointless.

So get this "boys":

You want head like you got in the beginning?

Remember,LOVE is a verb that happens OUTSIDE the bedroom first.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 80
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Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 2/8/2014 1:13:10 PM
replace the word "love" for "respect" for me.....
because personally I don't think love has anything to do with the fact I like to give head!!

as long as there is respect in our relationship (and it doesn't matter if it's a romantic relationship, FWB or FB)
I will continue to do the things I love to do sexually.
If he is slacking in the giving oral department has nothing to do with me still liking to give head.
Will we talk about my needs......hell yes....but it will not stop me from giving.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 81
Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 2/8/2014 1:36:22 PM

replace the word "love" for "respect" for me.....
because personally I don't think love has anything to
do with the fact I like to give head!!


With exception that you LOVE to give it..... ;)
And I agree about the respect(deep admiration) part in terms of women needing it in order to enjoy sex with a man.I call it love,but maybe mutual respect and care would be enough to get me off and to not shut a man off
when he treats me DISrespectfully.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 82
Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 2/24/2014 10:43:25 AM
When I see this thread heading, I can't help but think about this.

Google, who leads the world "who leads the world in penile reattachment". Since I am married to a Thai woman, I can't help but think about this when I see cutting and sex.

Good thing there are no ducks around here. You would get that if you knew Thailand or add ducks to the google search terms.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 83
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Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 2/24/2014 3:07:37 PM
OP - do you mean to say that women have sex? What planet are you on currently?
Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 2/24/2014 7:01:30 PM
(op)

Whenever I'd hear girls talk about how they don't believe that they should have to give head after they get married, I'd feel really discouraged concerning how to feel about women. Not because of whether or not they would give head, or would continue to give head after marriage, not at all...but because this helped me realize in my younger years that some women would lie to a man, pretend to like things that she doesn't like, or pretend that she's something that she isn't, just to get a man to like her or marry her. That seemed like one of the most aweful disgusting things in the world to me, right up there with faking orgasms - What's bad there is that either they have the belief that her orgasm is about his ego, or that she'd be with a man in the first place who operates like that or with which she has to worry about it that way. There's something wrong with the intimacy, or honesty, or connection, when she fakes orgasms, has to, believes that she has to, or is willing to continue being with a man that way without being honest about it. Faking an orgasm is not simply to pretend that you're having fun or that he's doing a good job...but to do so is to lie about the connection and intimacy between the two of you.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 85
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Cutting Off Sex
Posted: 2/28/2014 2:48:22 AM

some women would lie to a man, pretend to like things that she doesn't like, or pretend that she's something that she isn't, just to get a man to like her or marry her.

^^^^^^^

After working with so many men, this was the biggest issue I heard them complain about.
They used to like such and such,well..................... No they didn't.
They knew the guy did.
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