Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Am I overreacting?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 113
Am I overreacting?Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

A normal reaction from you would have been to say "let's call the police", not get defensive.
Why would you get defensive? Hmmmmmm.
You have the issues imo.


I think the OP already knew on some level that his reaction wasn't normal---hence the title of this thread: "Am I overreacting?" He abandoned the thread after he didn't get the validation he'd hoped for.

He was projecting his own issues onto the woman. He accused her of threatening him preemptively---yet he also acted preemptively. He thought she was leading up to a rejection of him---so he decided to beat her to the punch by rejecting her first.


"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." - Erica Jong
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 114
view profile
History
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/17/2013 1:49:26 AM
^^^^^^^^Agree.

Most that post these types of things want only to hear their behavior was the right thing.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 115
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/17/2013 7:32:51 PM
I would have simply walked out when I came back to hear her rant and premptive hollow threats.

Most adults I know will set down and have a discussion if they have a problem with something such as this.

Not start a rant while the subject of said rant is in another room.

Then try to take back the words once she seen she crossed a line with the op.

There was some that overreacted but the op was more graceful than he should have been. He should have just went home.

Also notice the lady didn't even call the cops to protect the lady in trouble.

What a class act she was.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 116
view profile
History
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/18/2013 3:07:31 AM
I wish people would stop giving their thread a mysterious title like a salesman or advertisement is trying to entice and persuade or manipulate you. This thing should be called something like “Our fight over other people fighting“, or, hell, I don't know. Not "Am I overreacting?". I don't know, are you? Oohh, I just must click on this and find out, cause there's such a lack of information.

Yes, I clicked on it, and I'm here, but that's because every other damned thread is titled that way. And every time, I want to say what I've said here...how irritating it is. It would save wasted clicks. My index finger is getting a cramp, and I need to replace my left mouse button. Hehe.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 117
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/18/2013 6:37:47 AM

I would have simply walked out when I came back to hear her rant and premptive hollow threats.

Most adults I know will set down and have a discussion if they have a problem with something such as this.

so you would walk, but most adults would have a discussion?
Interesting.

There was some that overreacted but the op was more graceful than he should have been.

I'm not sure that "graceful" is the word I would use...


I wish people would stop giving their thread a mysterious title like a salesman or advertisement is trying to entice and persuade or manipulate you. /quote]
LOL, I completely understand what you are saying, but all too often the creation of a thread here is EXACTLY that-a form of enticement/manipulation.
Don't get me wrong, this is completely normal human behavior, seeking to enlist support for one's position or actions.
But yeah, the OP wanted people to tell him he wasn't over-reacting. Unfortunately, I don't think he got the level of support he had hoped for.
Actually, if we ALL didn't feel a need to support or elaborate on our particular individual viewpoints/opinions, this thread title positively INVITES a short and succint answer...
Mine would be, " Yeah dude, you ARE overreacting."
Cindy O
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 118
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/18/2013 6:38:16 AM

I would have simply walked out when I came back to hear her rant and premptive hollow threats.

Most adults I know will set down and have a discussion if they have a problem with something such as this.

so you would walk, but most adults would have a discussion?
Interesting.

There was some that overreacted but the op was more graceful than he should have been.

I'm not sure that "graceful" is the word I would use...


I wish people would stop giving their thread a mysterious title like a salesman or advertisement is trying to entice and persuade or manipulate you.

LOL, I completely understand what you are saying, but all too often the creation of a thread here is EXACTLY that-a form of enticement/manipulation.
Don't get me wrong, this is completely normal human behavior, seeking to enlist support for one's position or actions.
But yeah, the OP wanted people to tell him he wasn't over-reacting. Unfortunately, I don't think he got the level of support he had hoped for.
Actually, if we ALL didn't feel a need to support or elaborate on our particular individual viewpoints/opinions, this thread title positively INVITES a short and succint answer...
Mine would be, " Yeah dude, you ARE overreacting."
Cindy O
 ManOfAdventure28
Joined: 3/8/2013
Msg: 119
view profile
History
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/18/2013 7:56:01 AM
OP.....WHAT???

Why do you feel like you were threatened? You're not a wife beater are you?
She got annoyed because a woman was being verbally or physically attacked (it's not entirely clear which one) and it's happened to her in the past. Seems pretty understandable. You, on the other hand, got annoyed because you're not a guy who beats women and therefore what she was saying, doesn't apply to you?? Are you sure you weren't just looking for an excuse to end the relationship with her? Or are you embarrassed because part of you thinks that maybe she should have checked if the woman and child are ok?
 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 11/19/2013
Msg: 120
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/22/2013 8:23:43 PM
1) any woman with half a brain and an ounce of compassion is going to be angry when they hear a man yelling as a woman and child sob, because she KNOWS that man is intimidating those weaker than him.
2) women often react by vocally reminding the offending make how wrong their behavior is, thats's why she said it loudly
3) women try to inspire strength in other women to not put up with that crap by highlighting that they would not personally endure such poor treatment.

Frankly, none of that was directed towards you. She was being a concerned citizen and rightfully so. You, being a man and having more strength, not only said nothing but got defensive!

Ya, you are over reacting, and more over punishing this girl for having a conscious. Maybe next time she'll shut up and let it go down so her wimp of a man isn't offended...

She should be the one not calling you! If a guy I was on a date with had nothing to say about someone being abused while I did, I'd consider him an apathetic pansy and kick him to the curb because my proverbial balls are clearly bigger than his.
 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 11/19/2013
Msg: 121
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/22/2013 9:41:24 PM
I went back and reread the entire thread, OP is a narcissist. I can only hope his potential dates read this and cut ties...
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 122
view profile
History
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/23/2013 3:04:54 AM

...he couldn't really go out and take care of bidness, could he? The only way he gonna go out and take care of bidness is if he watchin...

Hahaha! Bidness. He gonna go out. If he watchin. Hahaha!

Op:

You think you have to be a certain way because of how you look. I'm assuming that you mean you have a stern look. Or maybe sumbudy think you gangsta. And you've convinced yourself that empathy is a weakness...

...consider this - A man who looks "stern", but demonstrates genuine empathy and a general air of "got his head together" and being secure in this sense, is very impressive. That's one of the things that makes a man a man, and attracts the right women like a mother f*cker. (If it's real, and not fake.) Hell, you're only 31. You got time. Time to re-think yourself. Develop your character. Yea, stay away from crazy biatches, but be something real. You can do it. Do it now, before you get in your 40's and 50's and are here whining about why you be single.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 123
view profile
History
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/23/2013 1:09:00 PM
You're overreacting, she's speaking in general terms, it's not the first time I've heard a woman say that out loud to herself while I'm around in similar situations, whether it's watching a talk show, TV show, movie, witnessing first hand accounts or anything. I understood that it wasn't directed at me because I never put my hands on a woman and while I would remind her that neither one of us really know what's going on (we only heard it on the other side of the walls) I wouldn't be pissed off and let it ruin an relationship. And if you were gonna let that end a relationship then you were never into her in the first place. You're being overly sensitive and judging by your response you don't like conflict whatsoever so you run at the first sign of an perceived conflict when it's not even there. That's not healthy and you'll never have a lasting relationship when you can't take constructive criticism in an internet forum.

You overreacted plain and simple, she apologized and you still acted butthurt over it and didn't have the balls to tell her why.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 124
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/23/2013 3:52:35 PM

(BB) 2) women often react by vocally reminding the offending make (sic)...


I guess you meant "offending male" there...

She didn't say it to the "offending male", she said it to her date. It has all the ID of "I am woman-hear me roar!" crap...


... how wrong their behavior is, thats's why she said it loudly


Yeah, loudly, and to the wrong person.


3) women try to inspire strength in other women to not put up with that crap by highlighting that they would not personally endure such poor treatment.


Then she shoulda said it to the other woman, and not played the "liberated woman or else!" card on her date...
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 125
view profile
History
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/23/2013 7:10:39 PM
Again she was saying it out loud to herself, some people do think and talk out loud to themselves. I do it all the time, I will say something out loud to myself just speaking in general terms.

I was watching a TV show that had a topic about abused men and I remember saying out loud that if my girlfriend did that to me, I'm fighting back. My girlfriend (well now EX-GF) was within earshot. She heard me but she knew I was talking to talk and talking in general terms. I knew she wouldn't attack me and she knows I would never hurt her. It's talking to talk and the OP needs to grow thicker skin or he'll never have a lasting relationship.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 126
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/27/2013 12:02:51 PM


(ORB) If I had somehow been there, and man said "You gonna do something, I'll beat your ass too" to me outta the blue? Shit yeah it would have been fight on. Not for the sake of his woman, ( you for got to add child ) but for the sake of manning up. I dont want to be arrested, but some things I will fight for. I chanced pulling a drunk guy out of his car to fight after he hit my parked car w/o insurance, completely worth it. So woman I dont know? Not a chance.


(hamilton12345) "^^^^^^^^^IMO, That's not manning up! you will fight over material things , go to jail for material thing's, But not for the sake of protecting a human !!


It's not unheard of for a woman being abused, to attack a Good Samaritan who tries to intervene. That being said, I agree with you 100% about valuing human beings over material things.
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 127
Overreacting
Posted: 12/27/2013 9:42:34 PM
OP (if you ever return), I hope you learn compassion for others even when your possessions aren't being threatened. It's a basic social skill, romantic relationship or not.
 goldie-fish
Joined: 12/26/2013
Msg: 128
Overreacting
Posted: 1/1/2014 8:37:31 AM
Yes. Big time overreacting.

If a man said to me , " I will never allow myself to be in an abusive relationship," I would simply agree with him, as I would not stay in an abusive relationship either.

You were "seething" over this? That's a bit much, IMO.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Am I overreacting?