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 Beauregard63
Joined: 7/15/2013
Msg: 26
Not enough men on here are seriousPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Everyone deserves love. It should be a human right


Probably everyone needs love in order to be mentally healthy but it is neither a right or something that everyone deserves.

OP you are suggesting that you deserve to be loved by someone who meets all of your criteria but for all we know your criteria might be a little unrealistic. IF you want unquestioned love loyalty and affection get a dog.
 63T
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 27
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Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/4/2013 2:50:10 PM
Cleartc;

Everyone deserves love. It should be a human right. If i cannot have love, neither should anyone else. I believe in equality. I am very mature. I am being bluntly honest. Love should not be a reward or payment, it should be the right of all women and mankind. You don't deserve love or a family if you don't believe in equality.

By demanding that everyone "deserves" love, you are implying that love should be used as a reward or, withheld as punishment; a form of currency or control. This notion of love can only come from a self loathing, mistrusting, manipulative mind state and is self defeatist, sabatoging, stifling.

A healthy and nurturing love has much more to do with achieving a "capacity" for / to love.
To achieve this "capacity", one must work on their self esteem, ego, emotional balance and expression, communication, compassion, passion, empathy, respect, responsibility, etc, etc,.
In other words, one must observe, learn and be the best that they can be for themselves and for others, increasing their capacity for love and to love, unconditionally.

Equality
Who determines (which authority) what/who is or is not equal?
What does it mean to be treated equally?
Do we hold everyone's needs with equal care, consideration?
The very rigid notion of treating everyone equally has, at it's very core, a complete lack of imagination or resources on how to achieve it effectively and efficiently.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 28
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Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/4/2013 3:43:48 PM
We are here, you just have to respond to us when we message you.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 29
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/4/2013 5:05:18 PM

If i cannot have love, neither should anyone else.

Love is not conditional. Never has been. It's not a measurable/tradeable resource like money or time.

You have the ability to love others and it is NOT dependent on you being loved. Never has been.

Love comes in many shapes and forms. What you're failing at is SEEING it in the right places. You HAVE to be willing to ACCEPT it in whatever form it manifests itself, because if there is ever ONE thing that is true in the world; it's that you have absolutely NO control over who decides to love and care about you.

Everybody comes in here at one time or another complaining they cannot find love, but many ALSO decided to selectively forget all the previous chances they've been given - and dwell instead on their own fantasies and failures. Stop thinking of love as only one type of relationship - because it's not. It's hundreds of them. If you can't find love in your friends and neighbors and even people on the street - how the HELL do you ever expect to find it in an internet stranger?

I agree with one of the other posters - if you want blind affection and attention - get a dog. If you want a Man who YOU are willing to love unconditionally, stop thinking of guys as just big dogs that talk.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 30
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Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/5/2013 6:13:46 AM
^^^^^

What he said, exactly.

Love is not a bone that somebody throws you. It's how YOU approach other people. Then you forget about the ones who don't reciprocate and stick with the ones who do.

The world is full of people you can love.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 31
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/5/2013 8:41:41 AM

"Everyone deserves love. It should be a human right."

"You don't deserve love or a family if you don't believe in equality."

gotcha. what if you have slightly different religious beliefs and choose not to worship equality?



It says clearly that i am not interested in 25 year olds.

LOL it says clearly that you are. "when I say no I mean yes."


I am very mature.

compared to what, the boys who want to see your privates?
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 32
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/5/2013 7:07:30 PM
The thing is that you two have to meet in the flesh & build towards getting to know each other. Don't get disappointed by the men on here. You have to play the numbers and hope to catch some into the same thing you are when you two meet, not just saying it online.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 33
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Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/5/2013 7:24:10 PM
OP, just remember an inconvenient truth: Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and men are the gatekeepers of commitment.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 34
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/6/2013 3:42:20 AM

Everyone deserves love. It should be a human right.

Really. OK let's take this to it's logical conclusion shall we?
If being loved is a human right then who is doing all this loving?
Presumably you mean one man to one woman who love each other.
So some man somewhere is obligated to love you because it is your human right to be loved.
What about that man's human right to live in the free world and to choose who he loves or doesn't love?
We have to remove his right to pick and choose who he loves, otherwise we get the situation where some people go unloved.
So now we have arranged marriages everywhere because that is the only way to ensure that each and every woman gets one and only one man allocated to her.

Sound good to you?
 wolvesatthedoor
Joined: 5/8/2013
Msg: 35
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/7/2013 1:11:04 PM
OP, I just read your profile, and inadvertently judged you. Sorry.
 Road_to_Nowhere
Joined: 12/1/2013
Msg: 36
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/7/2013 9:42:23 PM
Actually all the men on here are serious. Some seriously want to get laid, some seriously just want to be ***holes and some seriously want to meet a woman for the reasons you're thinking. Unfortunately the smallest percentage is men looking for the type of relationship you're looking for.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 37
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/8/2013 11:09:54 AM
If you like to run your hands through a nice head of hair on a man, you might want to get some of your own. A little sunshine, a touch of make-up, and an attitude adjustment couldn't hurt, either, since you're seeking someone with inner and outer beauty. You can't realistically expect to attract guys with these qualities if you don't possess them, yourself.
 aanarchist
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 38
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/8/2013 3:59:35 PM
She quit the site once she realized she actually has to work on herself in order to get a good partner.
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 39
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/11/2013 2:30:36 PM
I can not speak for all men and can only speak for myself. I am very serious about meeting a terrific lady.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 40
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Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/11/2013 4:30:56 PM
Everyone deserves love and it should be a human right,etc?

Hey good luck with that theory. Let us know how it works out for you and all the others who don't have love and a family...

BTW..where did you find or come up with that theory and what references are there that say "everyone deserves love"?

 hkrjay
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 41
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/12/2013 8:54:09 PM

Everyone deserves love. It should be a human right.


Conceptually, I kinda sorta agree. Even for Jeffery Dimon of BankOfAmerica. He also deserves love. And he also deserve a very up close and personal visit with Madame Guillotine. Alas, he'll probably end up finding love first; the nearest chopping block dead last - if at all ...


If i cannot have love, neither should anyone else.


Aaaand here we have one heck of an opportunity for a teaching moment ...

The difference between LOVE and LEGALISM is the former attracts people like moths to a flame; the latter repels them to the point where their ***holes and elbows compete to break the sound barrier in that mad, mad, mad, mad dash for the hills. Guess which one you've demonstrated with that sentence - all without the pretense of a "Boyfriend Remote"?
 Alphacuck
Joined: 11/18/2013
Msg: 42
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/13/2013 12:29:06 PM
In my experience, men's seriousness with women is in direct proportion to how much she has to offer...

for instance, if she doesn't have much to offer but looks barely good enough to ^%# then that's what some guys will do...if she's a catch then he'll treat her that way!

Continually being used and think there are no good men left? I hate to tell you, but it's YOU! You aren't the catch you think you are.

You've had plenty of exposure to good men...they just weren't interested or good to you!

I've had women spend an entire date complaining about men just wanting to boink them and nothing else, then at the end of the date they ask me what I think. being honest I said I'm not interested in a relationship with them...all but a few asked for sex...WTF? You just spent a couple hours complaining about sex with men whom weren't interested, now you're offering sex to a guy that just TOLD you he wasn't interested!

I have no empathy for them...they do it to themselves.

Most women aren't THAT blatant, but I guarantee that when you get to the details of their stories instead of their "interpretation" of things, that's exactly what happened to them too!
 SmellyOne
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 43
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Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/22/2013 10:57:27 AM

It says clearly that i am not interested in 25 year olds. Read the profile before you judge me.


To send a message to ClearTC you MUST meet the following criteria:
Male
Age between 25 and 39.
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
Must not be looking for Talk/E-mail
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not be looking for Activity Partner
Must not do drugs
Must not be married


Either I don't know how to read or you don't understand ranges.
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 44
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/22/2013 4:59:27 PM

We are here, you just have to respond to us when we message you.

Exactly. I think many of these women on here over-think messages. I can not speak about other men , but I am always respectful toward women that I message .
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 45
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Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/22/2013 7:03:28 PM

If i cannot have love, neither should anyone else.


Wow talk about a selfish person. Even when I am not in a relationship it makes me happy to see a couple walking together and being totally into each other. Selfish selfish girl.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 46
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/23/2013 1:36:29 PM

Its not fair that i get sexually frustrated and yet men keep lying to me me on this site.

Sexually Frustrated? Why that phrase? I think you probably do talk about sex more than you think, at least passively, when communicating with guys, because you have that itch (but dammit, want a Good guy to scratch it!). Letting your sexual frustration play Any role in a sausage fest realm like this one will usually lead you to guys (gasp, no way!) wanting to hook up at the end of the day. Don't talk about sex or sex-related stuff before meeting a guy or on a 1st date. If THAT'd be hard/frustrating to do, then you'd get no sympathy :)

Now, with that said and out of the way, here's a common reason a woman's going to find virtually all guys they're talking with just wanting a hookup, even when their profile doesn't indicate that: You may be aiming for guys out of your league. Guys will cut right to sex when they're not that into you, if they otherwise Do preferably want a woman they could form a relationship with. With women who don't meet their attraction/desire level for that? Hey, a roll in the hay ain't bad.

So you may want to make sure you don't aim for guys who could "do better". I know it sounds harsh, but everyone should put that in perspective. In a sausage-fest environment, a guy can get excited about a reasonably cute or okay-looking gal really liking them.... but after some time, it sets in that's just His sexual frustration talking in the back of his mind, he's not that into you, but he's willing to throw out the sex stuff because if he can get that, then it's worth it.
 Beauregard63
Joined: 7/15/2013
Msg: 47
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/23/2013 7:47:56 PM

, here's a common reason a woman's going to find virtually all guys they're talking with just wanting a hookup, even when their profile doesn't indicate that: You may be aiming for guys out of your league. Guys will cut right to sex when they're not that into you, if they otherwise Do preferably want a woman they could form a relationship with. With women who don't meet their attraction/desire level for that? Hey, a roll in the hay ain't bad.


This may be seen as the down site to the overabundance on men on a dating site from a woman's perspective. Since there are far more men that women, some women may up their standards beyond what they have become accustomed to being able to reach in real life only to find that the men who were out of their league in real life but within their grasp online only see them as short term sexual relationship material.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 48
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/23/2013 8:51:22 PM
I seriously wonder IF there is more men than women in here sometimes. Guys are fully expected to start on "offense" - to do a LOT if not ALL of the first messaging, approaching, date suggesting and the like. Or course it seems like a 'sausage fest' when women are only doing 'cold' messaging once in blue moon! If the tables were turned and women were expected to start every new conversation, MEN would be complaining about too many desperate ladies messaging everyone, women that didn't read our profiles messaging us, and hordes of worthless female approaches making it a 'breast fest'.

A Reuters survey from June 2013 lists as follows;
Percent of male online dating users 52.4 %
Percent of female online dating users 47.6 %
That's for the whole industry surveyed, not just POF - but it's hardly a 'sausage fest'.

This is a link to a person explaining POF demographics from March 2013 -
It shows Male = 111 and Female = 89 (whatever units that is supposed to mean)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dA3TSjZhT0

This demographics search tool is on POF's site - kind of fun to play with - anyone can type in an 'Interest' and see what pops up...
http://www.pof.com/demographicInterests.aspx
The issue with those stats is the miserably large amount of people who do NOT put ANYthing in their 'Interests' lists, so it's not flawless data.

After looking up POF videos in YouTube, I'm having a tremendous laugh at these self-righteous bloggers acting like political pundits using all kinds of worthless opinions that have NO statistical proof claiming the rest of the dating world (or Big Brothers like Markus) is to blame for them not getting a date. Good Gawd people have WAAAAAAY too much time on their hands!
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 49
Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/24/2013 3:54:43 PM
...words i have for op consist of...

Awww.... with the "womp womp.." music going off.

Because she keeps finding men that HAVE to lie to her. Have to, because they must think she is good enough to sleep with, and she feels entitled to a relationship.
You are on here looking for love, but dont know how to find it.... why?
Because you dont know what it looks like. you have to have love walk into your life, as though you were scratching the lottery... and girlll you've had some bad tickets.. and you are fustrated because you are "hoping" to luck up, with a winning ticket!

Lets look at the lying..m they gotta lie to you, mainly because you present yourself as a woman who is about relationships or nothing else, so even if a guy just wanta some p#^$&, and maybe see what you are about afterwards, he cant, because you got this wall of relationship on your face, not understanding that we dont want relationship off the bat, and that you arent creating desire in us to want to be in a relationship with you for more than just p$&/&, because thats all you are in the beginning. Then we build you up from there. You are more than that to you, but you got to create that desire for us to see past that. So of course you got guys saying all that sexual stuff.
You wanting a relationship means nothing because all of you want it anyways, some for the wrong reasons, and thats what guys are gate keepers for.
You got sex, but we got relationship..
We compel you to spread your legs, but you dont know how to get a man to open up his heart...
And you need to learn that.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 50
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Not enough men on here are serious
Posted: 12/25/2013 7:49:18 AM
This is for ClearTC and any other woman who feels that men here are either not serious, or have commitment problems. There are plenty of us here who are dead serious about finding a long term mate, whether that means just a permanent life partner or a wife, it depends on your legal situation. HOWEVER......we aren't going to be 'serious' about every single woman we meet, and we aren't going to make a lifetime commitment within the first months of a relationship. For me, I have to be dating someone for at least six months to even consider being 'serious', and wouldn't even consider getting engaged until we're together for at least two years. And if that's not soon enough for you, then, well, YOU are the problem, not me. There are still way too many women with their biological clock ticking louder and louder who insist that a man commit to them immediately, once she decides he's 'acceptable'.
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