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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?      Home login  
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 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 23
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Message 24 HAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHA

I met both my husband and my last long term (9 year) bf at work. Without these two crucial and important relationships, my life would not have been half as interesting, creative and fulfilling.

And we're all still friends, after all that.

Go fig.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 24
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 12/8/2013 8:45:38 AM
1) Don't allow sexual contact from a one night stand become an emotional complex. You have NO REASON TO FEEL GUILTY about it, and neither does He.
2) Hooking up with a co-worker, provided it's not a superior/inferior employee situation - there's nothing wrong with it. Geez if you did get into a LTR you'd save a fortune in mileage and gas commuting to the same place.
3) Repeat step One. If your partner doesn't want to continue, that's life. Dropping Facebook can be a self-defense step to avoid possible cyber-stalking, but we all know cheating (AND dating) does not happen on the computer. Actions speak louder than words.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 25
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 12/8/2013 8:48:12 AM

dpwesu, my guess is we are more likely to see Jesus walk on water again than this hook-up see a courtroom.


Eric.....this may be true this time.......but next time......the OP may NOT be so lucky.

But that being said......the OP has LEFT THE BUILDING!!!!! Anyone surprised at that???
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 26
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Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 12/8/2013 11:09:39 AM
OP -

1) This is one of the many reasons I DONT do FB.
2) He's young, he had a one night fling with a woman he was sexually turned on by.
3) He's a **stard to his GF.
4) Be cold to him, and stay away from him as much as possible.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 27
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 12/8/2013 1:24:56 PM
I realize the OP has left the building, but good grief!- this is just one of those "sh*t happens" things that occur in everyone's lives.
If the guy had a gf, then, IMO, it was on HIM to stop getting sexual with the OP. But, IME, a 20 yr old guy backing off from an opportunity to cop a feel and or "get lucky"(one way or another)?
Yeah right.
I agree, not only Jesus but all 12 of the Disciples will be walking on water before this incident winds up in court as a sexual harrassment suit.
That said, yes, we do all have to keep our wits about us in workplace and business settings that we DON'T put ourselves in genuine danger of sexual harrassment/hostile work environment/interfering with business litigation.
But I think this situation is just a little bitty blip in the lives of 2 people who ought to have known better!
But if we all stopped doing things we shouldn't or that put us at risk of some kind of detriment...we'd all be frozen in one place.
Live and learn, now-absent OP.
Cindy O
 actualizing
Joined: 9/3/2013
Msg: 28
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 12/8/2013 2:31:38 PM
My first thought is that nobody can help you if you cannot help yourself. What exactly do you want to know? Life is like that, it's time to move on. You failed to define boundaries from the start, and that alone is what got you into this place where all of the lines are obscured. It all starts with what you will and will not do for a little attention.

Listen, I wish you well, and it starts by looking at yourself and not wondering about how others act.
 nanshe
Joined: 10/27/2013
Msg: 29
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 12/8/2013 3:28:06 PM
OP, I think you are wanting more out of this and though you say you are not clingy and don't want to complicate things-- the fact that you cared to write such detailed and long post shows how much it bothers you and how much thought you have given this. The fact that you even cared that he unfriended you on FB and even let him know that you were offended by that just goes to show you already have expectations and demands. If you really don't want to complicate things, stop thinking about it. It was just sex. If he acted weird, who cares? It was just sex right? If he says something at work, just deny it and move on. We gain friends and lose friends in our life, why is this one any different?

Just my 2 cents. Peace.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 30
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 12/8/2013 3:59:05 PM
so, the OP wanted to feel sexually wanted by someone who wasn't super experienced. no reason to jump all over her on that, so long as she didn't end up in a sexual experience that would otherwise be termed, "acquaintance rape."Its not smart to lead your own self to someplace you don't wish to end up, but it doesn't really sound like she was going there, since she's the one who gave the BJ.

the problem is, she's expecting a young, inexperienced fellow, to act like a man who's experienced in how to handle things. she's projecting this "undertone" that may or may not be there. she wants him to act in a way that's easy on her, but is new to him. best thing she could do is just let the whole thing slide--how he reacts as zero reflection upon her.
 fieryredhead77
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 31
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 12/8/2013 4:05:19 PM
it seems to me that she got totally played. I mean, what exactly did she get out of it? Nothing. He got an easy bj with no strings attached. Man - he played that 'virgin' card really nicely. Next time if she wants to feel 'empowered' she needs to show the virgin how to give a woman oral sex, not the other way around.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 32
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 12/8/2013 5:17:15 PM
Msg 31, great post. OP, not sure why you are so worried about being unfriended. Big deal, it's facebook no less!
 lowmiles2
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 33
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 12/9/2013 10:18:09 AM
Dear OP... get over it! You did what you did and it's over. Don't fret about it and I don't think he'll be the last guy you give head to and dumps you later. Maybe you should work on your technique and then the guy might come back for seconds.

If you want me to call him a bad person I can not. Heck he's twenty years old what did you expect... a marriage proposal. With time this to will pass.
 SteveJ7
Joined: 11/30/2013
Msg: 34
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 12/10/2013 10:37:04 AM
To me, you sound like a slut...wish you lived nearby
 fieryredhead77
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 35
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 12/10/2013 4:25:39 PM
To the 'you sound like a slut' comment. Why the derogatory name calling when it is something you are into? Double standard much?
 SunForSome2
Joined: 11/11/2013
Msg: 36
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 12/10/2013 5:18:26 PM
IDK... what is worse having a one-time hookup with your co-worker or hooking up over and over again only to have things end with the same conclusion.

I would read this person's behavior as reasserting boundaries and making things clear to you that there is no "future" between you two.... so don't get overly attached.

Of course, sometimes people do assert these boundaries with the hopes that you will feel challenged to overcome them... try harder... do a little more... go a little further.... give a better blow job next time... lol. "Hey! Maybe You''l be my girlfriend one of these days if we keep hooking up". If this is the case, I would just keep mirroring back to him his original stance... "It's not happening again. We are just friends. Don't make a big deal out of it." And, next time you two are watching a movie together, use greater self-control and restraint.... invite a couple more people along to watch movies with you. You don't want to look foolish.

Oh and I would never get so bent out of shape over a Facebook status. That's just silly!
 SD2131
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 37
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 10/23/2014 10:03:35 AM
Let me get this straight. You give him a BJ, let him fondle you and you`re worried abt his friendship? You enjoyed everything you did and what he did to you, so why push it? You felt empowered and pretty much invited him to touch you based on what you stated... Whats done is done.. Move on...
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 38
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 10/23/2014 11:03:48 PM
This is a very old thread - the OP has long moved on.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 39
Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 10/24/2014 12:18:48 AM
You gave a bj to a guy you say that you dont particularly like but were at his place and fooling around. WOmen get paid for doing that with men they dont fancy or like and you gave him one for free. I hope he returned the favour at least. Like others I am puzzled as to your behaviour. He is a young guy and he tried it on and it worked. He doesnt want any more to do with you now and is distancing himself. No big deal, just carry on as normal. He is 6 years younger and a baby compared to a 26 year old woman so I dont know why you were bothering with him.
 greatblah
Joined: 11/14/2012
Msg: 40
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Can someone please explain this guy's post-hookup behavior to me?
Posted: 10/26/2014 10:32:51 AM
She likes to give bjs and will do it after refusing to do it 50 times. No means try again.
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