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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?      Home login  
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 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 56
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

You make it sound like women do not judge men based on what they wear. If I was to show up in public in attire typically worn by a very effeminate man I think most women would assume I was gay.


But the point is that they'd be wrong right? Just as wrong as you and the OP are for assuming that a random woman's clothing signals her willingness to have sex.... whether with you or someone else.




We all judge others based on how they present themselves and women are just as guilty of this as men are - does that make them creepy or just intuitive and wise.


I don't. And "But... but... they do it too!" is not an excuse or a justification. I haven't used that one myself since 3rd grade; and it didn't even work.


You don't usually see chubbier women doing it.


Pffft, I see it ALLL The time.



I speculate some women do it because they have the type of "body" to do it and look good doing it.


There's something to this, although you're a little off. I've been "accused" (and I say accused because it's usually done in an accusing tone from either a sexually frustrated man I've turned down or a much larger woman between the ages of 40-50) of dressing like a sl*t. However, I never show off cleavage and most of the time I'm in shirts or sweaters that go to the neck. However, in order to get clothing to fit my particular body type ( large breasts for my frame, tiny rib cage and waist, then curvy bottom and hips) I have a hard time finding things to fit. If I get a shirt that fits me in the breasts 9/10 times it's huge in the waist and there's too much room between my belly and the shirt. If I get a pair of pants that fit me in the bottom there's so much extra fabric in the legs that it swishes as I walk. The clothing that fits me best are ribbed sweaters, curvy skinny style pants and pencil skirts because they're generally the ONLY things that fit me. On top of that I have a long torso. Until empire waists come back into style that's pretty much what I have to work with. Attracting men is the LAST thing on my mind when I'm shopping or dressing for the day.



Personally a woman has never given me a ticked off look for "appreciating her fashion/womanly attributes"....but that's probably because I do it and then continue with my day. If you're finding that women are "forever" giving you ticked off looks, it's time to put the binoculars away and move the car down the road.


Hahaha.. nice.



Why not? It is a free country.


Good point. So why not let this be the answer to the thread? Women wear things they want to wear because it's a free country. So why whine about women being free in a free country?



Again Assumptions are the worst mistake human beings can make when they don't know the facts.


Oh, you mean like the assumption that if she wears a push up bra that she's signalling her willingness to fcuk some random bag boy who plays with his penis like it's his worry stone over it? Who then gets to turn around and puke his sexual frustration all over us like it's our fault?
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 58
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Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 12/19/2013 7:26:44 AM
the meat manager said he would handle it


That's the first sensible thing you've said since you started this thread, OP.
 sentback
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 59
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Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 12/25/2013 9:18:52 PM
I personally think most women are EXBISHINISTS, Sad to SAY if a woman is SINGLE its OK to dress like a TRAMP. Nothing WRONG with that. After all they are showing their assets to attract a man.. But most married women dress PROVOCATIVE even women that have a MAN... Why I dont KNOW... Its my BELIEF, That 99% of North American women dont want to be a PROSTITUTE, but they SURE like DRESSING like one. this has always had me qurious. WHY?????
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 60
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 12/27/2013 1:08:08 AM
Motown, ever considered a career as a translator? You have quite the talent for it! Excellent translation.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 61
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 12/27/2013 10:17:22 PM
Ida know, this post is gotten rather amusing and retrospective. someone fretted about the bad kind of attention they got due to the clothes they wore, sometimes from older women. I remember that at work, the older women labeling the young hotties "dressing inappropriately" as "sluts" and other endearing terms. but hey, what do older women know, why should we listen to them, right? :)

so, I looked at her profile to see what she thinks is important about herself. Of course, being a bad male, I thought of the stereotype about how she represents herself to other people, and lo and behold...I was right. apparently the thing she really wants guys to know about her is what her legs and b00bs look like. i'm not sure how that attracts men who won't be focused on what her legs and b00bs look like, but hey, what do i know? :)

still, the first step--out of many--in solving a problem, is to stop contributing to it. :) even tho there's a law against drunk driving, I still drive as though they are out there. when I was a country kid going to a city school and the bullies wanted to assault me b/c I didn't have friends to defend me, I wished they would change their minds and behavior...but wishing wasn't enough, so I took it upon myself to make myself safe. having control isn't a bad thing.

I don't like creeps...and I find it easy to avoid them, by not playing at their level. I did like the comment about the meat manager, tho, lol. for some reason, they end up being the amusing coworkers in a grocery store.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 62
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 12/28/2013 9:51:06 AM
^^^^^^

You are still labouring under the assumption that women do things specifically for male attention and completely dismiss any idea that you're wrong. That's the problem we're trying to point out to the OP and the rest of the men who insist not only that a woman's clothing signal her intent to have sex (and sex with him specifically),but that it's her responsibility to dress in a way that won't MAKE you disrespectful of her. If your respectful treatment of another human being hinges on her attractiveness to you and how much skin is showing then YOU are the problem, not her and certainly not her clothes. You're a creep, plain and simple.

I don't know of many women who specifically get up in the morning with an eye toward seeing how many boners the guys around her pop during the day. It's just not happening to the extent that you're insisting it does. Not only is that attitude gross, but it can be dangerous if the guy in question (bolstered by all the men he sees around spouting these justifications) crosses the line.

I was at a cabin party with a huge group of friends (including my boyfriend) and one of them brought her brother. I hit my limit on drinks and went to bed in the room my boyfriend and I were sharing. I was awakened about an hour later... this guy had snuck into the room and put his penis in my mouth... as I guess the combination of solidly asleep, mouth breathing female just drove him to it. He tried to justify it by claiming that I was flirting with him constantly all night, when in reality I paid him very little attention compared to people I knew well. He just liked the way I looked (completely covered from neck to toe) and let his imagination fill in for reality, using the built in excuse these guys always use (and you keep parroting).

It's probably futile to even type this, being that you're stuck deep in the delusion that everything in the world revolves around men and their penises, but attracting men was the last thing on my mind when I posted those pics. I have a warped sense of humour and I'll leave it at that, since I don't feel like typing all the words necessary to justify myself to some judgmental, delusional person half a world away.

But I did discover something about men when I did. A large percentage of the men who messaged me when it was just a head shot were marginally respectful, but with this profile and these pictures the masks slipped pretty quickly. Their intentions had not changed, they just stopped lying about it because it's "alright" to treat a woman like a cheap hooker if you think she's wearing less than YOU deem acceptable (I guess I'll just point out here that some men find less than a burkha unacceptable, which doesn't leave us with a whole lot of options if we're supposed to dress with every man we might come across in mind). Luckily I live in a small city, and have a great memory for faces, because I weeded out a lot of the men that I might have wasted my time on otherwise.

As for the women at work who complain about how I dress, most of them wear more revealing clothing but don't look as good in them (which is really what it's about). I talked to HR about it and was told that what I wear is more than acceptable in a business environment. There's just something about me that rubs a large subset of women between the ages of 40-60 the wrong way, and they can get pretty vicious, vocal and revert to junior high school behavior. It's just as annoying when a guy likes the way I fill out my jeans and then gets mad because I won't let him hump me.... because I'm just a means to his end. The guy who just assumes that because he's interested in me, that he is entitled to a fair shot. I'm not even a person to him, and my attraction to him is just assumed.

If you think women with porn star bodies all act like porn characters, or that women who wear clothing that turn you on are obligated to help you with your erection or cover up so it'll go away, then the entire problem is with you. I refuse to be responsible for your thoughts, your feelings, and then adjust MY behaviour accordingly. No woman should ever have to.



I'm guessing that HR did not consist of a women in the 40 to 60 age range but rather a middle aged man. If you are drawing attention from men or raising the ire of women in your workplace with what you wear then you are probably not dressed appropriately.


You guessed wrong (not really shocked). My HR rep is a fit, attractive woman in her early 30s.
My direct supervisor is a gay man, and his boss is a fit, attractive woman in her early 30s. All of them have heard the complaints, and all have laughed them off. One of them actually came down to see what the problem with my halloween costume was this year, and laughed hysterically because I was dressed as Queen of the Spiders in a dress that went from neck to mid-calf. Someone just really had a problem with the corset on top of the dress, I guess.

I don't wear revealing clothing at all, it's just the body type I have (which I'd like to point out I have very little control over short of getting ridiculously fat).
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 63
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 12/29/2013 11:02:27 AM
I have an older co worker who seems to dress appropriately but when ever she squats down to stock things on the lower shelves about 2 inchs of buttcrack goes on display! Could she wear a longer shirt, higher pants, or higher underwear? Yes of course! but either she does not know cause no one ever told her Or she doesn't care. All I know is it's not my place to tell her haha
 deerdog1
Joined: 6/17/2013
Msg: 64
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Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 1/2/2014 5:25:25 AM
what I would like to know is who it was that decided that tits were a sexual object any way...dont get me wrong I am attracted to every part of a woman's body when she is sexually with me ..but hey I was breast fed when I was a baby ..and I have been to several nudist establishments ..im in full control of my sexual switches ..and they stay in the normally off position until a woman makes to apparent that she is interested in me sexually ..
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 65
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 1/2/2014 6:02:22 AM
So, if a man chooses the pants that are more snug around his crotch... and an ugly, greasy, unkempt, very smelly woman sees this and thinks he dressed that way to specifically turn her on, and acts as though she has a right to ogle him and make him uncomfortable, then so be it. (even after you have signalled to her that she would be the last person on earth you would bed) She can stare at his genital area, drooling and openly licking her lips like a pig and thats fine? Even loudly point hin out to bystanders and say how she'd love a slurp from your faucet??? And this type of thing happened whenever you went out looking attractive in your perfectly fitted pants? lol The men wouldnt have an issue with that? Yeah right.

The beholder has no clue what motivated the person they find 'sexy' to dress the way they are dressed. The beholder is just imposing thier internal thoughts on to others. It happens all of the time, in pretty much every human interaction. If you think in a tight sexy little body that you would dress sexy to be a 'show off'...then you assume anyone in a tight sexy little body is dressed to show off. If you dress to hide flaws, you tend to assume others are dressing to hide thier flaws...etc...so if a man thinks a woman showing cleavage means she wants sex all of the time and from anyone who wants it-he wants sex all of the time and from anyone who will have it with him. How people percieve you is actually great information and insight into thier own motivations.

No one should have to worry that if we make an effort to look sexy for our mate that people will think we are saying we want them and even try to act on that...but it is true for a segment of our population and it needs to change. Maybe women should be allowed to go topless everywhere and dispel this 'boobs' are sexual myth. They are glands to feed our young. But I digress.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 66
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 1/2/2014 11:39:17 AM
actually, a secure fellow who got unwanted attention by wearing restrictive clothing, would solve the problem by not wearing uncomfortable clothing. Just like he wouldn't wear expensive watches in the wrong part of town, leave his Mercedes unlocked, avoid the annoying saleman by not looking like he's looking to buy something, etc.

I mean, ever see a guy with a shirt unbuttoned waaay down low, and think, "boy, there's a man who's secure and mature and got his act together!" ? nope, I'll bet you thought, "geez, Richo Suave, get any lately?" and I don't even know you :) You assume he's lookin' for some attention...and you judge him.now, if he's working and tears his shirt, you wouldn't judge him so harshly. (but i already posted that's there's difference between someone doing their best wiht uncomfortable bras to show what they barely have and someone who can't hide what they were blessed with).

after my father got his patent for a machining process that removed the chips by turning everything upside down so gravity took care of it, he told me, "the best way to solve a problem, is to not let it happen in the first place." it isn't the only way, just the best way...when you can do it. when you can't or it cost too much, then yes, there has to be another solution.

i should be allowed to walk down a city street at night with my money hanging out, and i should be able to drive and not worry about drunks. but, even tho the law says i'm allowed to do that...i still act like i have to watch out for the other guy. and really...it ain't that hard or difficult at all. not taking that simple step, is as dumb as driving drunk and then claiming I was the victim for what happened when i was drunk--i have yet to see a court in the land accept that as a defense. i'm responsible for what i do when i drink. i have to plan ahead.

but, its easy for me b/c my ego isn't involved, and for some, that's the end problem. if they had to rely on their personality, they'd blend right into the wall. for these individuals, its an identity issue--no one would notice them in mommy jeans, b/c they don't have the personality that draws people in.

yes, some women are immature. those particular immature women do things to get attention. this shouldn't be a surprise. were they trying to get every guy's attention? nope. they wanted only one or two (I can say that b/c I listen to them when they complain about it not working that particular time). did they get everyone else's attention? yep. they acted improperly, and as a result, got an improper result. that's what being immature is all about.

as for the example of the guy who tried to get blown from some woman he met at a party--yeah, that's a crime called sexual assault, or rape. as we all know, rape is about power, not sex--its a different animal. hopefully he got brought up on charges for that, so he doesn't do it to the next woman he finds sleeping, thinking he can get away with it a second time.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 68
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Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 1/3/2014 11:32:16 AM
Coupla thoughts:

First, one hurdle that gets in the way of so many people on so many fronts is that just because you had a certain reaction to someone doesn't mean that person intended for you to have that reaction. Sure I can find myself distracted by a woman dressed in a way I find provocative, but it's my choice the extent I choose to stay distracted and how to interact with her if I choose to at all. I'm responsible for those choices.

I learned long ago that many women dress to please themselves, not me or any other man. Sure most are aware of the types of reactions they may get to their wardrobe choice, but for many that simply means they'll have more respect for those who react appropriately, not that they'll let potential boorish behavior by undesirable men dictate their apparel.

Knowing that I choose the extent to let others dictate my emotions is very empowering. Blaming others for how I choose to feel and react just makes no sense to me.

Second, I also think there's a bit of a generational thing going on here. Somehow in the course of the past three or four decades men have covered up more and women have covered up less. Mens shorts can hardly be called shorts any more, yet womens shorts are every bit as short as ever. Cleavage used to be limited to the beach or fancy formal wear. Now it's common in just about any setting. There's no right or wrong to any of that. It's simply fashion trends and they'll surely shift again. But those of us who came of age when a little cleavage was a rare sight may not process things the same as a young man who grew up seeing mom show plenty of boobage on a regular basis.

But the tendency to presume intent on the part of others whenever we have a strong reaction to anything covers all generations. I fear it's just one of those human nature things that is more of a hindrance than help to us.

Dave
 elklover13
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 69
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 1/4/2014 12:41:08 PM
wvwaterfall I agree with you!

It isn't a male's fault if something slips out. I can't remember how many times I would shop the last several years and woemn choose skimpy outfits that are extremely loose fitting and end up having a waldrobe malfunction.
 deerdog1
Joined: 6/17/2013
Msg: 71
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Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 1/7/2014 12:09:24 PM

Yep, Ontario women are allowed to go topless.


...actually there are only 3 states where going topless is Illegal ..they are Tennessee ,Utah and Indiana..there are about a dozen where local ordinances are legal ..but for the most part ..the good old USA is topless ..and in most states even local ordinances prohibiting going topless are against the state constitutions ..its mainly a thingy that happened in the seventies where states were concerned about discrimination charges from allowing males to go topless but not allowing the same by females...thank you feminist bra burners !!! lol

http://gotopless.org/topless-laws
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 72
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 1/7/2014 1:22:58 PM
I suspect laws declaring topless not being lewd behavior, has to do with allowing for breastfeeding newborns in public.
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 1/7/2014 4:47:28 PM
I often go to the supermarket wearing my pants way down low, so that I show just a little neck...man-cleavage.

And If a woman I'm talking to looks downwards at all, I say to her "hey, I'm up here."
 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 74
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Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 1/12/2014 8:19:04 PM
Have you seen what guys wear??? Some people don't care lol
 elklover13
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 75
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 2/11/2014 8:12:37 AM
I would never wear restrictive clothing that is tight myself. I have heard it isn't good for men to wear that. I always wear baggy clothes. It is more of a problem of low self esteem and I am still not happy with my body despite the fact I have lost all the fat off my chest, legs, waist, butt, and both arms. I can't seem to get the fat off the belly and sides. No matter how much I work out or eat healthy. I lost 25 pounds in three months and have kept it off. I am still not close to my weight in high school. I was 6'2, 195lbs the year I graduate. 16 years later I am 6'2, 225lbs. Although I lose more weight during summer. I can be 215lbs in summer and 225lbs during winter.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 76
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 2/12/2014 3:27:02 AM
As a guy with some scrupples.....I always say...nothing wrong with looking......they put it out there to check out.....Im sure they like the attention....lol
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 77
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Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 7/8/2014 5:55:09 PM

The more important and more pertinent questions are:

1. what cultural background do you come from, where women have fewer rights to dress as they like than men do? men are allowed to wear shirts of the same description, and you don't complain about them.

2. when were you voted into the position of public morality enforcement officer? Do you have a badge and all?

3. How exactly have you managed to determine the marital and relationship status of all of these people?


He has the same rights to have and express his opinions publicly as anyone else on here. It seems the local support is for those who want and practice over exposing dress ideals. Why doesn't the OP have a right to say what he likes and dislikes?

When someone speaks up in defiance of this norm they're verbally persecuted. Everyone should have a right to their opinion without being judgmentally attacked.

Disagree in an agreeable manner.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 78
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 7/8/2014 6:12:53 PM

He has the same rights to have and express his opinions publicly as anyone else on here. It seems the local support is for those who want and practice over exposing dress ideals. Why doesn't the OP have a right to say what he likes and dislikes?

When someone speaks up in defiance of this norm they're verbally persecuted. Everyone should have a right to their opinion without being judgmentally attacked.

Disagree in an agreeable manner.


You can't be judgmental against other people, and then whine when you get a dose of your own medication. It's not persecution, so don't be ridiculous.

He choose to get offended/worked up over something that has nothing to do with him whatsoever. As a woman who likes to make my own decisions (including how I dress), I'm going to push back every single time a stranger tells me that I should take him, his opinions and his preferences into account when I do so.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 79
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 7/8/2014 9:31:54 PM
The bottom line is that clothes look different depending on the person's proportions. An A cup with a broad back can wear the same sized shirt as me, but men would probably pay more attention to a D-DD cup than the woman whose an A cup, how's that my fault. A very petite woman with a little tush can wear yoga leggings but when I wear them, it draws more attention, notice we are wearing the SAME thing, yet getting way different reactions.

The problem is not the clothes! And there is nothing a woman can do to hide her proportions, it's like covering them is gonna cause anyone to not notice it exists anyway.

I can assure you I don't wear anything on purpose, I just am the proportion I am, and I can't find clothes other than turtle necks and sweatpants to somewhat cover (not conceal) the assets.
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 80
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Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 7/13/2014 2:33:02 PM
If you're someone who is busty (such as myself), you're going to get stares no matter what type of top you're wearing.

Because of my body type (busty and medium built) v-neck tops and fitted ones (I'm not saying skin tight) are the most flattering for me. Baggy tops EASILY make me look like I'm a good 15 lbs heavier than what I am. What woman wants to look heavier, LOL?!

I tend to wear what I classify as fashion forward, yet classic clothing. I honestly do not wear what people would call "slutty clothing". And regardless, I get both men and women staring at my chest on a regular basis...at work or in a social setting.

It is human nature to quickly look or glance at something you find attractive, whether it's a person or thing. When I get ticked off is if I get vulgar comments or when someone is actually having a conversation with my chest and not me.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 81
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Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 7/14/2014 3:50:04 AM
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?


Some of them are attention seekers, especially the ones that wear shirts that are a couple of sizes too small.


A very petite woman with a little tush can wear yoga leggings but when I wear them, it draws more attention, notice we are wearing the SAME thing, yet getting way different reactions.


Are you kidding me? So you would get more attention in a pair of yoga pants than Jen Selter? Seriously, somebody is very delusional.

Perhaps the attention isn't necessarily positive.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 82
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 7/14/2014 8:25:35 PM

Are you kidding me? So you would get more attention in a pair of yoga pants than Jen Selter? Seriously, somebody is very delusional.

Perhaps the attention isn't necessarily positive.


I didn't know who that is until I googled her. She has a disproportionately large, shapely behind for someone her size She would get more attention than someone built like Miley Cyrus. I'm built like her, and I can tell you from experience that it's very hard to get something that fits your behind, defined quads and everywhere else too. When stores around here started stocking jeans for curvy women, I went down from a 12 to a 7. Goodbye fabric that swishes around your legs, and that weird "pook" you get when you sit in jeans that fit you in the behind but are 5-6 sizes too big in the waist.... Google waist gap.

It sounds like belle has the same issue; a women with a big bubble behind is going to get more attention no matter what size she is overall. And sometimes, no matter what you wear short of a burkha or a hot dog costume, it's impossible to hide things that certain men might find enticing. The disconnect happens when certain men decide that it's for their benefit, and act like a pig because of it.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 83
Why do women wear shirts that show alot in public?
Posted: 7/15/2014 4:42:35 AM
Dont have a problem with that....do have a problem with these young girls who think everyone wants to see their bellies that are carrying their babies....more than once have I seen a young girl with a shirt halfway up and showing pregnancies....wierd....as for your initial statement...the norm...just have to know who you can flirt withs all!...lol
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