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 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 20
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Advice neededPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
OP, I read your initial post and skimmed the rest. I think you have already gotten good advice. What I would lilke to say is that all this "waiting" on him to make the moves is outdated. Why don't you invite him to your home and offer to help pay. Or, ask him directly if he sees a future with you, and if so, how he sees that working out - who moves, changes jobs, etc. If he is still vague then you should cut your losses and move on. Personally, I agree with the poster above - he's probably married and just keeping you around for the next wedding trip to New York.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 21
Advice needed
Posted: 12/21/2013 5:01:01 AM

He hasn't asked me to be nor has he claimed me as his girlfriend.


You met him in real life ONCE, and you're wondering why he hasn't honored you with the title of girlfriend. Cyber dating is not real life. I think he will be the next one to do a fading away act, and maybe try to get back together with an ex. and keep you around as a back-up plan. What's good for the goose....
 MsLadyBrown00
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 22
Advice needed
Posted: 12/22/2013 7:50:30 PM
Thanks for your advice everyone.
I think I will cut my loses here. It is true that all of my feelings for him are just a fantasy in my head because we haven't spent any real extensive time together. Sometimes you need to hear other people say things to really get it through your head and accept it.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 23
Advice needed
Posted: 12/23/2013 12:56:05 AM
He is the first person I speak to in the morning and the last person I speak to at night. I have grown to have deep feelings for him and have expressed them to him and so has he to me. But, we haven't seen each other in person since that day in August.

That's a really, really wacked-out "relationship" you're in. Not healthy, not good...

He has gone so far as to express that he has feelings of love for me but has never asked to be in a committed relationship.

Well, you're getting too greedy and all, because...

He has also mentioned that he is scared about giving me all of him because I just cut all communication with him earlier this year (I have never told him the reason I stopped talking to him earlier in the year)

As well he should! Of course, he's just as much a fool as you are for wasting so much time remotely. I mean, I could see being ga-ga after meeting for that first time 6 months ago and talking every day for a bit, then texting every day, then keeping in touch and having a long phone conversation once every 7-10 days -- but still living your Separate lives (NY-GA; it's the 21st century but teleportation hasn't been invented).

I am not getting any younger and I feel that he needs to make a move or I need to move on with my life.

First, you guys shouldn't be BF/GF. Jesus, wake up! :) Second, don't play baby-games. You're an adult, not a kid just because you're "the female". You ask him about it. If you've never brought up setting up a date relatively soon seeing each other again, you're just as "guilty" as he is. It's been 6 months! After all, you cut things out before.

What should you do? Come back to reality, move on. Be real & honest. LD relationships don't work with over 99.9% of the population, sorry. Let yourself know that you're being unrealistic and you've been wasting your time, being so emotionally involved for so long, and let him know that you'd like to meet again and set something up. If he's not game with that, tell him that although your heart says otherwise, you have to keep things at a keep-in-touch level on facebook and nothing more.

Don't try and be a pen-pal GF. Seriously. That's insane.
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