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 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 76
Income Level and Dating ExpectationsPage 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
^^^^^^^


But yet both parties could afford to buy their own coffee or buy for both parties but only he's being judged and called out for not paying


I think the comment "I sure punished him though, I didn't laugh at his jokes" was said facetiously.
 Princess12524
Joined: 12/23/2013
Msg: 77
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/29/2013 1:36:51 PM
Men Don't Care About Your Accomplishments
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/05/men-dont-care-about-your.html
A woman can brag endlessly about how much money she makes, the deals shes has closed, the celebrities she's rubbed elbows with, or the awards she's won: none of it matters to men. This might seem harsh, and it is perhaps slightly hyperbolic; after all, it is fairly interesting to know that a girl is successful at her job, or that she works with someone famous - and an award is always impressive. But none of these things translate into sexual or romantic attraction.

I am sure there are some women who grew up understanding otherwise. Or perhaps, having been dealt mediocre looks and a poor figure, others decided that they would pour their energy into their academic degrees or career rather than their beauty, and then proceeded (not without help) to dupe themselves into believing that men would like them for it. Unfortunately, this isn't the case, as many 30-something single career-women are currently realizing - the hard way.

I used to date a girl (older than me) who would always tell me about how she had just balanced some multi-million dollar budget, or how she was in the throes of closing an important project. And it was undeniably impressive that she reported directly to the CFO of the biggest hospital in the city. By all common standards she was successful. But every time she brought up work I got bored.

Women who try to attract men by being successful are like men who try to attract women by being sweet or gentle. While being sweet won't necessarily ruin a man's chances with women (in some cases it will), neither will it draw her in. Likewise, although a woman's business or academic success won't usually turn a man off (in some cases it will), neither will it attract him. Both of these misconceptions are examples of the sexes projecting their own desires onto the other. It is women, not men, who find career success attractive, because it demonstrates drive, focus, strength, initiative - masculine qualities. Likewise it is men, not women, who find gentleness attractive, because it is a symptom of openness, receptiveness, nuturing ability - feminine qualities. I got bored when the girl I was dating talked about work in the same way that women get turned off when a man starts smothering them with flowers and gifts, or constantly apologizes unnesessarily.

This isn't to say that women shouldn't earn PhDs, or become CEOs, or generally strive to achieve traditionally masculine goals. Whether or not women "should" do something is a separate question entirely from what will happen if they do. There are plenty of reasons that a woman might want to win an award or get a promotion; I am merely pointing out that she would be foolish to do so in an attempt to attract men.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 78
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/29/2013 2:03:11 PM

But yet both parties could afford to buy their own coffee or buy for both parties but only he's being judged and called out for not paying

I think the comment "I sure punished him though, I didn't laugh at his jokes" was said facetiously.

correctamundo

I did actually laugh at his joke, mainly because he was such a poor story-teller THAT was funny.

And of course ONLY he's being judged for not paying because HE's not here to complain that I didn't buy his coffee. Duh.


This isn't to say that women shouldn't earn PhDs, or become CEOs, or generally strive to achieve traditionally masculine goals. Whether or not women "should" do something is a separate question entirely from what will happen if they do. There are plenty of reasons that a woman might want to win an award or get a promotion; I am merely pointing out that she would be foolish to do so in an attempt to attract men.

I DO agree with the findings in the article Blonde quoted so I write the following only to say that is not absolute. The reason Mr Billionnaire gave for deciding to meet me was that I hold a software patent (he has about a dozen or more) so he thought I'd be able to understand him. So even if 'success' or 'accomplishments' aren't the basis for the initial attraction, it may be the tipping factor. That is for men whose ego can handle it.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 79
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/29/2013 4:42:55 PM

A woman can brag endlessly about how much money she makes, the deals shes has closed, the celebrities she's rubbed elbows with, or the awards she's won: none of it matters to men...

The only thing that story reveals (and it's no big secret) that talking 'shop' is BORING. That's true for BOTH sides of the gender gap. We all know people of BOTH sexes that are their own worst shoe-polishers out there. Online dating is always going to be better with a humble but confident attitude than being arrogant or a braggart. When it comes to matters of the heart, nobody is ever too good, rich or powerful enough to NOT have to pay attention.

What I still find to be a profound mystery is why men still put up photos of their 'toys' in dating sites as frequently as they do. Are women indeed turned on by photographs of their possessions, or are these guys just as naive as I believe them to be?
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 80
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/29/2013 7:11:51 PM
People that have to brag about their possessions, have pictures of them on here, state that they "look younger" then their age(who said so?), those I see and they are huge red flags. We want to possibly date you for lots of things but not when you have to "brag". That is a turn off and says a lot about the person. Are they naïve? I wouldn't say naïve, I'd say shallow and not interesting.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 81
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/29/2013 7:30:31 PM

What I still find to be a profound mystery is why men still put up photos of their 'toys' in dating sites as frequently as they do. Are women indeed turned on by photographs of their possessions, or are these guys just as naive as I believe them to be?


Here is my answer, (thanks John!)


I wouldn't say naïve, I'd say shallow and not interesting.


I wonder if a woman's "cleavage" picture is similar to a man's "toy" picture? ;)
 PlentyofThis123
Joined: 11/23/2013
Msg: 82
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2013 2:26:03 AM

People that have to brag about their possessions, have pictures of them on here, state that they "look younger" then their age(who said so?), those I see and they are huge red flags. We want to possibly date you for lots of things but not when you have to "brag". That is a turn off and says a lot about the person. Are they naïve? I wouldn't say naïve, I'd say shallow and not interesting.


Yes, esp. the ones who brag about "How young I look for my age" as qualifier for, when having created the profile, lie in the drop down of what their age is.

(i.e. - choose 35, but then qualify it in the description that they are really 42...but...."I look young for my age" or "I get carded all the time, lol!")
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 83
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2013 7:03:20 AM

What I still find to be a profound mystery is why men still put up photos of their 'toys' in dating sites as frequently as they do. Are women indeed turned on by photographs of their possessions, or are these guys just as naive as I believe them to be?


Depends.

It can be good to show the type of living situation you have when living in areas with a huge socioeconomic shift, especially if you might fit in with a certain stereotype (ie. certain races living in a certain area).

For instance, I'm black and live in Detroit. In some dating sites, that's the first thing you see, which makes people make a gut mental image connection of the bad conditions/squalor that many of the in-city neighborhoods have, which is disproportionately black, for historical reasons. In other words, most black people that live in Detroit live in the actual neighborhoods, which have huge issues. However, I make six figures and live in the 90% white redeveloped downtown area. So, having pictures that conveniently show that I live in a downtown loft by the stadiums will counter other assumptions about my station in life.

However, if that kind of situation doesn't apply, it can be superfluous, and actually have a negative effect, especially if it's -just- a picture of a house or car. Then you start looking like a showoff, which can easily have negative effects.

"Sneaking" your toys in pics isn't a bad way to go about things, though - ie. guys that "just happen" to have pics of them piloting their boats with friends (with their shirts off and perfect six pack abs) tend to get fantastic response on dating sites.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 84
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2013 7:17:08 AM

Yes, esp. the ones who brag about "How young I look for my age" as qualifier for, when having created the profile, lie in the drop down of what their age is.

(i.e. - choose 35, but then qualify it in the description that they are really 42...but...."I look young for my age" or "I get carded all the time, lol!")


Or let's not forget the famous one..."I clicked on the wrong year of birth and can't change it now."


@Princess12524: Thanks for the article you posted. I definitely agree with it. The most powerful women in business are generally never as hot as the receptionist. I'll take the receptionist.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 85
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2013 8:28:38 AM


This isn't to say that women shouldn't earn PhDs, or become CEOs, or generally strive to achieve traditionally masculine goals. Whether or not women "should" do something is a separate question entirely from what will happen if they do. There are plenty of reasons that a woman might want to win an award or get a promotion; I am merely pointing out that she would be foolish to do so in an attempt to attract men.


+1

Very wise words, everyone should read this a second time. If you want to attract men, act like a woman. If you want to attract women, then act like a man. It’s really very simple.
 Princess12524
Joined: 12/23/2013
Msg: 86
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2013 12:13:08 PM
Very wise words, everyone should read this a second time. If you want to attract men, act like a woman. If you want to attract women, then act like a man. It’s really very simple.

Romantic relationships START w/ sexual attraction...job & education is a whole other REALM...once a person can wrap their brain around that not just intellectually but EMOTIONALLY, their interactions will improve!
 forumfella
Joined: 10/18/2013
Msg: 87
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2013 12:40:51 PM

I wonder if a woman's "cleavage" picture is similar to a man's "toy" picture? ;)


At least you know the cleavage is their own, they didn't stand in front of someone's Ferrari , and said, Quick snap a picture before the owner shows up! LoL

6 figures!?!
is that including the decimal point and 2 zeros on the end?? :D
 rod1919us
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 88
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2013 3:24:39 PM
Everything in the US is about money so why would anyone expect any different when it comes to dating? At least for women anyways. Men typically date on sexual appeal & attraction (big breasts, big bottom, long hair, etc) whereas women tend to date on income & status level. It's simple logic of supply & demand. With that being said, I personally try to hide my income level, education level, or anything in that nature. I've had women straight out ask me how much I make annually and what I do for a living in the first conversation. There's an ole saying floating around on Facebook: "Money will buy the woman you want, struggle will give you the woman you need." A man will never know his woman's true colors until funds become scarce.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 89
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2013 3:37:47 PM
Sweet Danimal- Income difference can be a barrier to a point.
People of higher income levels will not experience the same lifestyles growing up as those of lower incomes.
Someone from a poor family is way less likely to be into tennis or horse riding, that's just one example.
People with lesser income are often in survival mode and just can't relate to the snobs and elitists.
That's not to say all rich people are snobs or that poor people can't be boorish.
Really, I think it comes down to mind set.
Often, we create our barriers.
Can a person embrace differences rather than see them as obstacles?
How much does it matter what other people think of who you choose to love?
Life, more often than not, comes down to perception.
 jc91607
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 90
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2013 4:42:36 PM

Part of online dating is breaking down those communication barriers created by distance as well as income and other barriers your social circles usually create, but I still see people trying to force their own social circles/norms back into these sites all the time, because that is what they are used to being around.


Truth be told, I think most people that come to online dating are not looking to smash all social barriers. It sounds nice to think that burger flippers and millionaires of different races come online to hold hands and sing koom ba ya, but that is not how the world works.

For the most part, people come online to find people that are their "type." A person's "type" is often dictated by socio-economic factors like income level, education, race, etc. Yes there are people who set their aim high, but these people are often unsuccessful. For example, a person from the trailer park will typically not have success attracting a wealthy person.

The successes in online dating happen when two people from similar, yet non-overlapping social circles meet. For example, Preppy A meets Preppy B. They do not come across each other in real life because Preppy A goes to Country Club X while Preppy B goes to Country Club Y. Preppy A and Preppy B have a good chance of hitting it off because even though they go to different country clubs, they have similar experiences and hobbies. They probably both went to the same types of schools, they have similar hobbies, they have similar interests in food and art, etc.

Preppy A will probably not hit it off with Redneck B. Redneck B lives in a trailer park. Preppy A and Redneck B have few common interests, few common experiences, and little common ground. Preppy A sticks out like a sore thumb at Redneck B's trailer park and Redneck B does not quite fit in at the country club.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 91
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2013 4:52:19 PM
rod1919us- Being money centric is not just a female trait and we aren't all like that.
Having said that, I really like what you said at the end of your reply. That quote is profound and so true, for both sexes :)
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 92
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2013 5:14:08 PM

I wonder if a woman's "cleavage" picture is similar to a man's "toy" picture? ;)


Best date ever?

Him: I have a Corvette, summer home in the South of France and a private Jet
Her: (*) (*)
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 93
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2013 6:54:49 PM

Men typically date on sexual appeal & attraction (big breasts, big bottom, long hair, etc) whereas women tend to date on income & status level.

1. Big Bottom??? Is this why I am getting dates? Hmmm?
2. income and status level? Status level? WTF? Whether or not he is Preppy A or Redneck B?

I like the idea of man/woman being self-sufficient. When you start a relationship, both parties should bring something to the table. I will bring the cleavage and he can bring the toy..... ;P Kidding......
A lot of posters are making some really good observations and comments! Love it! :)


Romantic relationships START w/ sexual attraction
AGREED

I've had women straight out ask me how much I make annually and what I do for a living in the first conversation.
Well how stupid of them, they should wait until the 2nd conversation. Kidding! I don't think I've ever brought up income on any of my dates. Quite frankly, I just don't think about it as I have other things on my mind..... I will say I have been on several dates where guys will just talk about their money problems..(insert yawn here)


A man will never know his woman's true colors until funds become scarce.
Interesting.....

Is there a saying where a woman will never know her man's true colors until she gains 20 pounds or more, gets flabby and wrinkles? I don't know ....which is why I am asking?

and CarolAnn - that was very cute! and funny! :)
 SngleNarlington
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 94
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2013 9:36:42 PM
Occupation is always part of the conversation but I’ve never had a woman ask me about my annual salary. That’s a bold question for the first date and a reason not to go out again in my opinion. Well, I wouldn’t go out again if I were looking for a lasting relationship but if I were looking short term, that would be different. You get what you pay for, so to speak!




I will bring the cleavage and he can bring the toy


I’ll be your huckleberry ;) I couldn’t resist lol
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 95
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/31/2013 7:22:03 AM


Preppy A will probably not hit it off with Redneck B. Redneck B lives in a trailer park. Preppy A and Redneck B have few common interests, few common experiences, and little common ground. Preppy A sticks out like a sore thumb at Redneck B's trailer park and Redneck B does not quite fit in at the country club.

I’m going to have to disagree. If Preppy A is a rich old man, and Redneck B is a sexy young woman, they may hit it off just fine. A will have a great time playing with B’s assets (sexy body), and she will have a great time playing with his assets (Black American Express card). A match made in heaven.



Best date ever?

Him: I have a Corvette, summer home in the South of France and a private Jet
Her: (*) (*)

Nah, a Corvette just doesn’t get it anymore. Mind you, I remember when it did. Back in the early 70’s, one of my good friends had a Corvette. He would arrive early at the night club, and park directly in front. He never bothered to go inside, he didn’t need to. He would just sit on the hood of his car and flirt with the young women who were going inside.

These days, you would need a Ferrari to have the same effect. Inflation and all that, don’t you know?
 Princess12524
Joined: 12/23/2013
Msg: 96
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/31/2013 12:09:50 PM
Anna Nicole Smith & oil mogul J. Howard Marshall


Preppy A is a rich old man, and Redneck B is a sexy young woman, they may hit it off just fine. A will have a great time playing with B’s assets (sexy body), and she will have a great time playing with his assets (Black American Express card). A match made in heaven.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 97
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/31/2013 12:29:13 PM

Preppy A is a rich old man, and Redneck B is a sexy young woman, they may hit it off just fine. A will have a great time playing with B’s assets (sexy body), and she will have a great time playing with his assets (Black American Express card). A match made in heaven.

My dad and his second wife. They were married 42 years before dad died. She is now a fat, old, and saggy widow. But a rich one.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 98
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/31/2013 1:46:10 PM
Now lemme get these text-speak images translated right....
(*)(*) = Perky?
( o ) ( o ) = Busty?
( Y )
\ / \ /
(.) (.) = Gramma?
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 99
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/31/2013 2:05:18 PM

Occupation is always part of the conversation but I’ve never had a woman ask me about my annual salary.


Interestingly enough the only women that have asked me this question were Russian.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 100
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History
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/31/2013 4:00:08 PM
Maybe guys could rate their income level as the costs of restaurants are rated in guides, $, $$, $$$, $$$$ and $$$$$.

Their income ratings could be screened for in profile searches like ethnicity, nonsmoking or smoking, height and so on.
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