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 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 101
Income Level and Dating ExpectationsPage 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
SweetDanimal: Msg #106 - Did you make those up? I did not realize there is so much you can do with text-speak.... :P
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Maybe guys could rate their income level as the costs of restaurants are rated in guides, $, $$, $$$, $$$$ and $$$$$.


Would this be similar to YELP, but be called - MILR (pronounced miller) Men's Income Level Ratings???

You know women could have something similar.....OHHHH I forgot, we already do.....in the form of CUPS:
A cup; B cup; C cup; D cup; DD cup; I don't even recall seeing an E cup....I think there is F cup, don't ever recall seeing a G cup....not sure if there is an H cup....this is way out of my expertise...
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 102
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/31/2013 7:12:40 PM
You know women could have something similar.....OHHHH I forgot, we already do.....in the form of CUPS:
A cup; B cup; C cup; D cup; DD cup; I don't even recall seeing an E cup....I think there is F cup, don't ever recall seeing a G cup....not sure if there is an H cup....


Believe me, in my experience the larger sizes do exist, although rarely, on women having desirable height to weight ratios.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 103
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/31/2013 7:20:53 PM
Driving, an H cup??????? Where would the rest of her be? Glad I only know my abcdd's.....Excuse me for stuttering! :p
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 104
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 1/1/2014 9:19:49 AM
First, OP, thanks for posting that. I found it very interesting, both that they could actually break it down to the street people live on and that most of the blue areas were where they were.

<div class='quote'> I know people are always going to be influenced by their upbringing and neighbors to some extent, but can YOU kind of draw lines of expectations on a map that almost match an income level?

Yes

<div class='quote'> Do you think dating expectations and income ARE strongly related / influenced?

There are always exceptions, of course, and I don't know that I'd say they are strongly related, but I believe they are related.

Do you avoid/be wary of people from certain cities/areas because of where they live, or because of how much they make?

Yes

I live in a blue area, not because I am wealthy, but because I work 60-70 hours every week to keep my daughter in this area. It is safe and I want her to have the best education I can provide, which is here. I live paycheck to paycheck because I'm over extended and I'm her only support. A move could happen any month, but so far, I've managed it for 14 years.

I was raised in a orange area.

Of the last 4 people I've been in a relationship with, 3 made triple digit salaries. The other had made it in the past. I had no idea until over a year into these relationships or after. My radar isn't programmed that way. Because I always want to pay my half or take turns, one started insisting that I let him treat now and then. I said no, I'm sure he has bills to pay too, and he replied "Do you know how much I make a year?" I guessed 40-50k. The other later told me that one of the things he liked about me was that we bonded without me even knowing what he does for work. I knew he worked in a hospital at a computer and had meetings a lot. I didn't know his title was assistant director. Still, that didn't mean anything to me as far as connecting it to income. All of those things are beyond my frame of reference.

I "met" all of those people online first, through various social media or, in one case, a chat room. What was "like" was intelligence. If there is a link to intelligence and income, then that would make sense, but there isn't always. Most were also highly analytical like I am.

Of course, the area is going to influence who you meet.

What I can say about income, a loose correlation that many will dispute isn't, but in my experience the culture/society around here is much more self centered and less giving. I've been here for 14 years and have not seen ONE an example of someone offering to do something for someone else if it wasn't "socially polite" or known to be in exchange or possibility of future exchange. It frankly makes me sick. It's as if the concept, or the empathy gene is absent. I'm not saying people aren't nice and do nice things for each other, but I've never seen a case of it done in pure altruism. They seem to be clueless about it lacking, because like the reverse for me, it's just not something within their frame of reference.

I struggle with this concept of doing for self/immediate family first. It is, I'm sure, a mindset that has them living in a blue area, though, and is probably a more balanced/healthy thing, but it's not me and not a trait I admire. I struggle because I don't know which was to guide my daughter.

Where I was raised it was a daily thing.

I have to say, that only one of those relationships matched the level of satisfaction I've had in previous relationships before moving here. I would definitely be wary of dating anyone who lives in the blue areas.

As someone said earlier, water seeks it's own level. I like and respect some of the values that come with less self focus, which usually tends to be less income (because when you are "down home" or poorer, you learn to look out for eachother). There is so much good and love in that. Those ARE the good things in life. Of course, that society has it's own set of problems, but that one trait is so strong it's what I desire to live with and around, and to have in a partner.

I can hardly wait for my daughter to get into college so I can "go home" ... whether that literally means going home or going home to a relationship like the ones I had before.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 105
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/20/2014 9:56:28 AM

People that have to brag about their possessions, have pictures of them on here, state that they "look younger" then their age(who said so?), those I see and they are huge red flags. We want to possibly date you for lots of things but not when you have to "brag". That is a turn off and says a lot about the person. Are they naïve? I wouldn't say naïve, I'd say shallow and not interesting.


It really is boring and ineffectual, as are the braggarts attached to it.

A person with a full scope of knowlege and reverence for communication, people, ideas, animals, and differences and similarities is most exciting.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 106
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/20/2014 6:06:16 PM
This is one of those threads where people get to say money doesn't matter in some sort of fanfare for the common man/woman....it does and it works well for most people who have it.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 107
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/20/2014 10:48:38 PM
This is one of those threads where people get to say money doesn't matter in some sort of fanfare for the common man/woman....it does and it works well for most people who have it.

Well, lol!, not exactly. In fact, not at all.


What is clear about rich people and their money—and becoming ever clearer—is how it changes them. A body of quirky but persuasive research has sought to understand the effects of wealth and privilege on human behavior—and any future book about the nature of billionaires would do well to consult it. One especially fertile source is the University of California, Berkeley, psychology department lab overseen by a professor named Dacher Keltner. In one study, Keltner and his colleague Paul Piff installed note-takers and cameras at city street intersections with four-way stop signs. The people driving expensive cars were four times more likely to cut in front of other drivers than drivers of cheap cars. The researchers then followed the drivers to the city’s cross walks and positioned themselves as pedestrians, waiting to cross the street. The drivers in the cheap cars all respected the pedestrians’ right of way. The drivers in the expensive cars ignored the pedestrians 46.2 percent of the time—a finding that was replicated in spirit by another team of researchers in Manhattan, who found drivers of expensive cars were far more likely to double park. In yet another study, the Berkeley researchers invited a cross section of the population into their lab and marched them through a series of tasks. Upon leaving the laboratory testing room the subjects passed a big jar of candy. The richer the person, the more likely he was to reach in and take candy from the jar—and ignore the big sign on the jar that said the candy was for the children who passed through the department.


http://www.newrepublic.com/article/120092/billionaires-book-review-money-cant-buy-happiness
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 108
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/21/2014 3:02:00 AM
I have had men ask me about my income and assets.

Like many of the women on here... as long as he has a job, somewhere to live and can pay his own way..... all good.


A comment about the fancy cars research.
Maybe the reason all those people are rich.


Can this work both ways?
Considering there are stunning Russian and Filipino/ Thai brides for old men.

Can we please have the same for old women?
A Fijian man would suit me..... hubba hubba.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 109
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/21/2014 10:30:47 AM

WoobyToodsDay
The people driving expensive cars were four times more likely to cut in front of other drivers than drivers of cheap cars.



OZSeaLady
A comment about the fancy cars research.
Maybe the reason all those people are rich.

A very wise statement there by OZSeaLady. Do not confuse cause and effect, the people in the expensive cars got where they are by stepping on others while climbing the ladder.

I got out of management and back into the tech side many years ago when I realized what I would have to do in order to get ahead.

To wit, stand in front of a room full of people and lie to them. Look them in the eyes and lie, when they knew I was lying.


No, we are not going to have a layoff this year.




No, we are not looking into outsourcing your job to India.




No, we didn’t pass you over for this promotion because of ______


If I had been willing to do those things, I would be driving around in the new Mercedes, cutting you off at the intersection, and running over your sorry a__ in the pedestrian crosswalk. (Smile)
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 110
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/21/2014 12:39:32 PM
ohenryx--point taken. But there's also more in the article (well worth the read) :

A UCLA neuroscientist named Keely Muscatell has published an interesting paper showing that wealth quiets the nerves in the brain associated with empathy: if you show rich people and poor people pictures of kids with cancer, the poor people’s brains exhibit a great deal more activity than the rich people’s. (An inability to empathize with others has just got to be a disadvantage for any rich person seeking political office, at least outside of New York City.) “As you move up the class ladder,” says Keltner, “you are more likely to violate the rules of the road, to lie, to cheat, to take candy from kids, to shoplift, and to be tightfisted in giving to others. Straightforward economic analyses have trouble making sense of this pattern of results.”

There is an obvious chicken-and-egg question to ask here. But it is beginning to seem that the problem isn’t that the kind of people who wind up on the pleasant side of inequality suffer from some moral disability that gives them a market edge. The problem is caused by the inequality itself: it triggers a chemical reaction in the privileged few. It tilts their brains. It causes them to be less likely to care about anyone but themselves or to experience the moral sentiments needed to be a decent citizen.
 Dreamin_of_you
Joined: 8/14/2014
Msg: 111
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/21/2014 2:46:48 PM
No matter what is said about money - having lots of it or very little, I think we all know that it does not reveal the true character of a person. Just in case one does not recognize where I am coming from on this, check out O'Henry's Gift Of The Magi - a short story oft told at this time of year. Read it here: http://www.online-literature.com/o_henry/1014/
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 112
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/21/2014 3:00:24 PM
If I was driving some tin can of a poor car, I'd be leery of pulling out in front of people, too :) The city where I used to live,you'd come off the bridge into the "poor" neighborhood, and people would walk right out in front of your car. Were they looking to win a lawsuit, or had they not driven a car in a while and forgot what it was like, or did they just not care what 3500lbs would do to their body?

I've worked for "silver spooners" who couldn't put themselves into the minds of their employees, and poor coworkers who expected more in life than they could ever handle intelligently. When I was 18 I had my own place with antique furniture, and women would say, "ew, you mean old stuff?" and I'd think, "yeah, that's what antiques are, old hand-me-downs" but I wouldn't bother to explain...if they didn't get it, then they didn't get it. they were happy cooped up in university dorms and I was happy with my place to myself. we wouldn't have been a good match...and that's what's most important.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 113
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/21/2014 6:15:46 PM
Money is a state of mind really. There is a reason why some people never had and never will have much money. They don't understand it. Look what happens to many of the people who do win the lotto. Most of them lose it all in a fairly short time. With some ended up with even less then before they won the lotto.
There is an old saying. "Some people take garbage and turn it into money, Some people take money and turn it into garbage".
You don't have many people who are timid that can run a big company. It take a different person and it shows in the everyday life as well.
But I do agree that some take it even father and become plain A$$holes Plenty of them out there as well.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 114
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/22/2014 1:56:11 PM
Money may be a "state of mind" in the sense of what people personally have or do not have, but when it comes to searching for 'ideal' matches in here, showing off your material worth holds a LOT of sway. Intelligent or experienced dating people may scoff and laugh at guys putting up pictures of their cars and 'toys', or women showing off jewelry and exotic locations, but there's a pretty LARGE chunk of the audience that still consider those items to be 'worth' something when meeting people.

I know a guy a couple of years older and about an inch taller than me. He's got a sweet disposition, but he's no saint. His true love is the bottle, and he's got a perpetual wandering eye, especially when he's drunk. He lands dates ALL THE TIME. Why? Because he has a Harley, a Boat, and goes to the tanning salon all the time. He's brought first dates to parties and happy hour get-togethers with a bunch of us local friends, something I consider quite tacky - but I find out while talking to these women - they've traveled several hours to meet this dude because they assumed he was well off and would take them traveling and other such stuff that a person with a huge amount of disposable income can do. Their mistake for not asking.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 115
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/22/2014 2:54:41 PM
A Harley wouldn't impress me. The new lambo does
But I like money, nothing wrong with being rich and I'm sure not all rich people lack empathy.
Anyone who feels their money is holding them back please feel free to send it to me :)
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 116
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/22/2014 4:05:06 PM
My preference is my guy...he can pay cash for a Mercedes sports car but drives a Toyota with a rack for his bicycle.

Income is less important than financial responsibility....and a responsible healthy lifestyle. It shows a discipline in their character.

I have never asked or been asked about my income (you date these people?) but one can quickly determine how responsible an individual is.

Re the Harley. 9 out of 10 women I know would be turned off by a guy with a motorcycle. In contrast, 9 out of 10 would find a fit man on a bicycle 'sexy'. Some guys will get it and some never will.

In general
Good 'toys'...bicycle, guitar, binoculars, canoe
Turn off toys....motorcycles, trucks, motor boats, guns

The irony is the guy with the least expensive toys more likely has the higher income...is better educated...in better physical shape.



 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 117
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/22/2014 11:12:29 PM

In general
Good 'toys'...bicycle, guitar, binoculars, canoe
Turn off toys....motorcycles, trucks, motor boats, guns

I'm thinking the 'audience' in Seattle vs Minnesota can be quite different in terms of what recreational 'toys' are fun, just like the status and upbringing of the people involved. Boat owners in the land of 15,000+ lakes is almost a requirement if you have enough money for a 3rd car. Motorcycles wouldn't have much appeal in an area where there's tons of rain and only sunlight maybe 40% of the time.


The irony is the guy with the least expensive toys more likely has the higher income...is better educated...in better physical shape.

I agree that people who aren't fighting to climb social ladders are content to fix up the toys they have rather than buy new ones - but then again, some people just stop climbing and decide to have fun with what they got.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 118
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/23/2014 1:11:38 AM
Boys and toys.
Girls and toys.

The person with the most toys wins.

We all like our own choice of toys and of course our choice is superior to that other person's choice which is obviously flawed.

I like my toys.

 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 119
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/23/2014 1:14:54 AM

Posted by ActiveMelaney:
"Re the Harley. 9 out of 10 women I know would be turned off by a guy with a motorcycle.
In contrast, 9 out of 10 would find a fit man on a bicycle 'sexy'. Some guys will get it and some never will."

Why, thank you! ;-)
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 120
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/23/2014 6:10:58 AM

Re the Harley. 9 out of 10 women I know would be turned off by a guy with a motorcycle. In contrast, 9 out of 10 would find a fit man on a bicycle 'sexy'. Some guys will get it and some never will.

In general
Good 'toys'...bicycle, guitar, binoculars, canoe
Turn off toys....motorcycles, trucks, motor boats, guns

The irony is the guy with the least expensive toys more likely has the higher income...is better educated...in better physical shape.


Those "turn off" toys indicate Freudian inadequacy.

Financially, the people with the expensive toys, in addition to the initial cost, incur additional costs with insurance, gasoline and maintenance (and personal property taxes where I live). They can work to their dying day while the sensible people can retire early and enjoy their hobbies on weekdays.

Physical shape, in addition to the obvious exercise from operating a bicycle or non-motorized boat, I believe the people with the good toys are less likely to indulge in substances bad for the health. The people with the expensive motorized toys are more likely to smoke. People with yachts are often alcoholics.

I can guarantee the girls with the good toys are much more attractive. Rollerbladers and stand up paddleboarders tend to be hotties. The women on Harleys and oversized motorboats: yecch!

Unfortunately the yucky men go after the good gals. In parks with bike paths, Harley riders with loud pipes cruise the parking lots and loiter with overweight married men in comfy work trucks (often while chain smoking), leering at the fit gals. On the rivers, drunk impotent men in jet boats zoom up to gals in rafts and tubes, asking them to remove their tops.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 121
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/23/2014 7:21:12 AM
^^^ LOL! Generalize much??

Usually I ignore your posts but this was just too classic to pass up because it made me, truly, laugh out loud.

Thank you for starting my morning with a laugh.
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 122
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/23/2014 8:14:33 AM
Pretty soon a qualification for compatibility will be fingernail length.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 123
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/23/2014 8:26:53 AM
I don't know, but I don't think we are the purchasing power we used to be. Or at least we don't have access to purchase as we once did, prior to 2008. I think a lot of income expectations have to be relative to the effort of the person expecting. Same thing with education levels, or anything else that may have a general go / no-go threshold.

Say if a women had a highschool education, and a few jobs, she shouldn't expect a lot in return. But that may be what she wants, and she may have other "attributes" that make that a socially acceptable if not routine behavior.

I think expectations can be realistic or unrealistic. I don't have any expectations, hell she could be poor in terms of return on education. She could be a lifetime student, and I would appreciate the perspective from that more than the money. Depends on values, motivating reason, the means, and the ends to achieve a reasonable expectation.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 124
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/23/2014 8:43:20 AM

Do you think dating expectations and income ARE strongly related / influenced? Do you avoid/be wary of people from certain cities/areas because of where they live, or because of how much they make?


After I post this, I'll prob come back bec. I haven't read any one else's posts.

I can only speak from MY EXPERIENCE IN MY GEOGRAPHICAL AREA.

I live in what used to be termed "upstate ny" but has now become more of a "suburb" of NYC.

So I live on the Hudson, on the East side of the Hudson River. I have found, time & time again, as did my friends, that when you went west of where I lived, on the other side of the Hudson, you had many men w/ union jobs or gov't jobs, but they seemed BACKWARDS/UNSOPHISTICATED & didn't know how to date/act. It just seemed the people were DUMBER overall the further west you went & it improved when you hit the PA border.

If you went EAST of where I live or even into CT., the men may have the same income (or higher) as the ones in the west, but they were more educated & sophisticated, more likely to date & knew the social niceties.

North was farm country, no thank you. Not my cup of tea.

South, too close to the city. Not my cup of tea either.

I found when I stayed within a 25 mile radius that excluded THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RIVER, the men seemed more on the same page as me. Intelligence wise, level of sophistication, general outlook on life.

So in the past when single & looking, it was not really the income, but the attitude/outlook of the men, & yes it def. tied into where they lived.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 125
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/23/2014 10:49:24 AM
There's lots of exceptions but in general:

Higher income , higher education , healthier lifestyle...all trend together

In Canada smoking among university educated...5%, Never finished high school...36%.
The 55 year old on the bicycle or out on the trails on Sunday is usually middle class or above and university educated.
Obesity rates increase with lower education, income.

We are attracted to a particular package...the whole profile. I only messaged fit women, non smokers. The chances are they would also be better educated and more financially secure. I'm sure it is the same for many women..they are seeking a fit male. A guy who leads a healthy lifestyle. Chances are, again, he is higher income. Bottom line we are looking for the package. About 90% of the women I know personally would not date a drug user or smoker even if he was a multi millionaire.
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