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Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 147
Income Level and Dating ExpectationsPage 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

us boomers have done a rotten job of saving for our "golden" years. A third of boomers, particularly later boomers, have almost less in the bank than my son,

Yeah maybe that would be typical if the "boomer" developed a crack addiction. I have a hard time believing you are well put together. Old boomers? Yeah? "golden" love the key words.

I got an idea, we should sell our souls to venture capitalists. I mean if they want extra 0000000's in the bank that's honorable. And I think that its always good to have 0's. But it isn’t the boomers gone done, industry went down. Don't get it confused.

from 2001 to I was a network service admin / office beotch
from 2003 to 2008. I was a very proficient draftsmen, I was fast, it was an easy job and I was getting paid what a college graduate would without the debt.

So how did the recession hurt your career, I mean for the vast majority of the time, you had nothing but relative ease of finding work. Communication industry... I mean if anything it was a damn slow ride.

So now boomer, what do you think I did after my industry failed?
Doesn't matter the point is don't feel sorry for yourself, or feel you've earned anything if your son makes you look poor.

lol you gonna be the monopole guy holding his hat out after hes gone bankrupt? Is that your "le ve se leve" into retirement ?

Well by my affirmation, I don't think you'd meet her standards bro.

Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 148
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/25/2014 10:58:38 PM
Uh, Mister vector (and I use the honorific loosely),

speaking from the vantage of age and wisdom, you really shouldn't smoke (something) or imbibe (to inebriation) and then post willy-nilly. Frankly, you sound more like an angry drunk than a cogent rational adult.

I've lived through more and worse downturns than you've seen so far. Do you think this blip was something? Try the 70s: Interest rates through the roof, entire industries upended.

I put in seven years of schooling into the 80's only to graduate into a contracted market. I moved - from one coast to the other.
You think this is tough, ask those who lost their life savings during the "dot com" collapse of the late 90s/2000. I didn't; I paid off debts and entered the dot come bust owing no one - in essence, paying myself.

One thing I haven't done is feel sorry for myself. One thing I did not indicate in my previous post was where I am financially, other than to make the case for being prudent financially. Which I was, which I am, and which I always will be.

Your envy of those who put their resources at risk to put sad sacks like you to work puts you clearly in the company of those who would rather moan and groan than get ahead. Do you really think that VCs are to blame for your poor choices or lack of adaptability.

As for this recession you think was all that bad you might be better served by blaming those few in DC who think they can manipulate an economy better than the self interest of 300 million plus Americans.

As an investor, I know one fellow I wouldn't risk my resources on. You just don't have what it takes. Quit yer belly achin'!

Joined: 10/31/2014
Msg: 149
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/25/2014 11:04:28 PM
It's good to have enough money to be comfortable -but better to be comfortable with little money.

Monetary comfort assumes stability of economy.

The world is facing very uncertain and unstable times.

Immediately-available resources will be far more important than currency unable to be traded for unavailable resources.

Let's disco now -and go back to my place or some canned goods when all hell breaks loose!

"Well, I spied me a girl and before she could leave I said
“Let’s go and play Adam and Eve”
I took her by the hand and my heart it was thumpin’
When she said, “Hey man, you crazy or sumpin’
You see what happened last time they started”"

Bob Dylan -Talkin' World War III Blues
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 150
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/25/2014 11:54:12 PM
Such condescension, lets have a test shall we?

Yes I do see this as a serious problem - I see a lot of economic problems. But I don't need to hear about how you were doing blow off 70's boobies in the 70's, and flipping houses or whatever situation you had going on there. Dude do you think I care if you sit there and drone on about your queer little life?

You said you were broke you droning cow. That is what you are exactly. Just some old ass blowhard, as an investor you should have money derpdperpedperp.

Hey guess what, I have money. Im just saying you were the one belly achin like a tool. I just called you on it, you ****ing hypocrite.

As an investor, right ... "I'm Tarnished_knight" And Im a tool bag who has worked and stuff. " "im broke"

As an investor suck it, because you suck.

Eat donuts, and fill out your waste line doughboy
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 151
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/26/2014 5:55:13 AM
but financial wisdom can be a simple as knowing what you can do and shouldn't.

Learning to live for the long haul (delayed gratification) may not be as fun as living for today but it is way more rewarding.

I've never bought anything for personal consumption without having the financial ability to pay cash for it - even though I do use credit cards.

I have never and would never borrow to go on vacation - If I cannot afford something I set my sights lower. That is excepting my house, and that was paid in full less than 10 years later.

My truck is pushing 15, and the only "toys" I have are the computers I build from parts in my office and the tools in my shop.

I agree partially- We should have some sort of "budget" whether we r 15 or 55...BUT I also saw what my grandmother & parents did...they saved, but didn't seem to enjoy the fruits of their labor as much as they could have afforded to.

My house was paid for many years ago, but if I didn't do THAT then, I'd look at those tiny houses as an option. I bought my car cash, but at the end of the year & it is an inexpensive car. I could have gotten a better car but had a loan. I am happy w/ my decision.

My laptop of 5 years crashed recently, for the last time, I got a netbook for $193 (HP) & don't regret that either.

But as far as credit & borrowing...well, I'm 55, if an inexpensive cruise comes along at a time I am free to go, I'll charge it & pay it when the bill comes in. I know I am getting a tax refund in a couple of months, so why SWEAT NOW?

If I see something I really want, or want to get away, & it's a good deal, why wait? How many years do I have left? I prob will get another 30 if I base it on my parents & grandparents longevity, but seriously, at a certain age do I want to be traipsing on a cruise or wearing juniors clothing? I may as well enjoy what I can today, as long as it doesn't put me into a hole.

I hate having to deal w/ crowded supermarkets, so now I spend an extra $12 a month to have my groceries delivered, plus I give them a tip. I end up saving $ by not impulse buying, not having to burn gas driving to & from, slip on ice & fall, get flu germs in a crowded envirement, or have some jerk dent my car in the parking lot while I am inside (happened 2x already in the last few years)& then I have to spend $$ to get it fixed.

I'm on a budget, I put away a certain amount per month & I'm flexible w/ the rest. If I want to spend an extra $20 a month on more cable TV channels in the winter, I'll do it.

If I want to spend $540 for 2 tickets to see Paul McCartney in concert, I'll do that too. 2 of the Beatles are dead, & how often does Sir Paul come to Albany?

Would I spend that much for another pair of tickets? prob not- maybe if Fleetwood Mac came to town...

So while I like to save, I also like "living in the moment" cuz who knows how many moments we have left, or what the quality of our life will be at a certain age!
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 152
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/26/2014 8:59:40 AM
Looking for financial stability is indeed a 'plus' - but that's not the same as looking for someone with the 'same' income level - not by a long shot.

People make and earn all kinds of different wages for the exact same type of jobs -not to mention pay scales that are tilted because of education level, location, seniority and such. I think people that have maintained a single income level household for an extended period of time tend to lose the perspective of how two can live cheaper together than apart.

A person who does not live beyond their means, whether it be selling french fries or Manhattan real estate, can and should be given some respect for being able to do so. Adding someone to your household that has a slim 'profit' margin STILL means they are 'profitable'. There's plenty of people living extravagant white-collar lifestyles by shuffling around or hiding massive (and growing) piles of debt. There's also miserly people with massive bank accounts that wear thrift store clothes and eat cold oatmeal for breakfast.

No offense to the highly educated executives and entrepreneurs out there, but it doesn't take much more than a 2nd grade education to figure out looking for a person that matches or exceeds your income level as a household partner can be slightly excessive and even greedy in some cases - BUT if you're already suffering and in debt yourself, I can see how the allure of finding someone capable of stabilizing or better yet, playing off your debts is indeed 'attractive'.

The rough part about dating and the online portion is that one really can never know ahead of time what the other person's lifestyle is truly like. We're all taking guesses from weakly-worded profiles and a handful of pictures. Being 'careful' when choosing a date in here really seems to mean choosing a person who's 'obviously' successful-looking instead of considering some that may go either way. It's pretty much the same flawed logic we use when choosing 'attractiveness' - if we're not sure, it's frequently a "No". It doesn't mean we're doing it wrong - some of the 'obviously successful and attractive profiles are indeed successful and attractive - but that's why we're all clamoring for the top 10 percent and pretty much ignoring the rest of the world. The truth is that you will never know until you try to meet these people - or you steal their ID numbers and pull a credit report.
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 153
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/26/2014 9:38:56 AM
I've managed to make a comfortable life for myself on a nurse's salary. Much of that time putting myself through college and raising two daughters.

No one gave me my house, car or savings. Many times I walked the hour to work to save the bus fare.

I would not have a relationship with a man in his 50's or 60's who was not financially stable. It is not just the money but a demonstration of character and responsibility. My boyfriend is well off but is self made. Coming to The USA from France via a few countries in between. Making something of himself . He's at a point where he likes to treat me and, to be honest, I enjoy his generosity. With no minor children or obligations we can do as we please in life. I still do limited nursing shifts because I want to...he dabbles at the odd mining engineer project. It's nice to both be unencumbered and abler or take off to Maui for a week, etc.

No BMWs, boats, motorcycles, big bills, insurance, repairs on them.

Being financially responsible is not about being stingy or doing without..My guy will shop around, save $10 on some item, then stick that $10 in an SPCA donation box.
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 154
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/27/2014 6:28:31 AM

You just don't have what it takes.

Hey Tarnished Knight... What is more ironic?

That Tarnished is part of your handle?

That you don't have what it takes?

Quit yer belly achin'!
Did you read your first post?

Saying that as a soldier I should have envied you for paying taxes.

sound more like an angry drunk than a cogent rational adult.

Basically your whole post is a hypocritical pile of garbage, that tarnished your reputation. Which is ignoble, and unbecoming of a knight.

As a statistician, id say you've been completely humbled to where you should be. As an investor... right.
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 155
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/27/2014 8:09:40 AM

Basically your whole post is a hypocritical pile of garbage, that tarnished your reputation.

Your reading comprehension needs improvement. Although I'll cut you a bit of slack given the meds you take (or don't as it appears the case may be).

TK's original post that set you off was speaking generally of a generation's financial position heading into what should be retirement. It did not say anything of his personal financial position other than he's financially solid because he's been prudent.

Actions speak louder than words. That you go for the jugular after misreading and misinterpreting TK's' post shows an inability to even comprehend the difference between a "knight" and a "soldier". You may be a (self-proclaimed) statistician (although not an historian), but you know nothing of archetypes.

Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 156
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/27/2014 8:28:57 AM

Your reading comprehension needs improvement.

This is what I didn't like:

Anyway, the dirty little secret is that us boomers have done a rotten job of saving for our "golden" years. A third of boomers, particularly later boomers, have almost less in the bank than my son, a college junior.

He basically said the boomers need a bailout, and I said - no my industry went down and im 30. A lot of people got effected. I actually joined the Army after "the boomers got hit" and then saying someone like his son who is in college has more money than him?

That was enough for me to say, naw man - it wasn't just boomers, everyone was effected. And claiming that he has hardship, I had to tell him its just inaccurate. And I had to give reason why. Because I faced massive hardship, and industry was hit. Not boomers, and I hate junk history.

Spreading ignorance as to who was effected by the recession after 2008 isn't history.

I know plenty about history, is TK a historian? Because he's certainly not up to date - this "recession" is bad. But what would I know right?

I know nothing of archetypes? What does that even mean?

difference between a "knight" and a "soldier".

Difference in context to what
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 157
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/27/2014 8:44:09 AM
Once again you display your lack of reading comprehension.

How about you take a deep breath and display the awesome powers of your self-proclaimed big brain and figure out for yourself what TK and I wrote. Neither of us was that obtuse. I'm sure you can do it if/when you stop being so reactionary.

and there's a clue for you.

I'm nothing if not helpful.
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 158
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/27/2014 8:59:07 AM
Getting back to a comment in the original post:

"Do you think dating expectations and income ARE strongly related / influenced? Do you avoid/be wary of people from certain cities/areas because of where they live, or because of how much they make?"

I dont judge by area people live in, maybe because in LA, it is expensive to live anyway. Even lacking a car is going to put a severe social and financial strain on you as we have no set "city center" or public transportation system that can get you anywhere anytime soon.

I am 47. I own a home that is almost paid off, and make a six figure income. I started a successful side business back in 2000 and just recently signed with a book agent to get a book published this new year.

I've worked long and hard for what I have and what I've learned over the years. I've depended on no one.

At this stage of my life, I would be looking for someone who is financially stable. In my days of dating a few years back, I ended up very surprised at how many single men from about 45-53 were completely broke, or living paycheck to paycheck. This was usually something that was not mentioned before the date, and was discovered in conversation. At least 50% of the men I met were unemployed, a couple had no car and revealed a friend had dropped them off where we met or they walked, one was living with his parents (early 50's!) and another was in heavy debt from drink/alcohol tabs.

I also have an ex boyfriend who has been trailing me around for years. He used to work doing what I do now, making good money. He's essentially unemployed now, with no car, living with a woman who is supporting him. He's been bugging me for years to get back together with him and sees himself as a handyman who can fix stuff about the house, but he doesnt always finish what he does for her. He doesnt understand why I would not want to have a guy move in with me who could offer up handyman/fix it work.

For a million reasons..only a few of which is that he's essentially lazy, admitted he is easily distracted with sports and the internet..whatever. He's 52. I cant believe how many men are completely content these days mooching off of women, and somehow seeing themselves as a personal success. You get into this rut where thinking that spending a half day screwing around on the internet means personal success, like you've accomplished something, when you used to be a paid professional, out earning a living, car paid off, pocket money for entertainment, etc.

Then there's the way too young age, still living with parents, no money, not even any real life experience or common shared cultural experiences we could talk career yet..not interested. They're in a different place in life..on the road.

There is something to be said for a man who is financially stable, smart with his choices, and understands and respects the concept of credit/debt and living within his means. How a person handles his finances and what I have seen he has crafted for his life so far tells me alot about his personal values. This is all important. I've had dates with many people who are older than me who are back to relying on mom and dad to pay bills, friends to shuttle them around town, etc.

As a woman, SHOULD I be OK with this? Be sympathetic, wait for him to maybe get back onto his feet..or possibly start giving him money because I am feeling sorry for him? There's a fine trap to fall into.

I'm not going to be a man's taxi service, anymore than I would be comfortable in the reverse situation. Come to the table as an equal. Be able to share life on my level, with some wiggle room, with transportation and a sensible approach to your work and money.

It's really that simple.

If you want to live in Los Angeles, you have to be prepared to do so. It is not cheap to live here, and you need a car. This is not a materialistic request, this is a key to financial and social survival in this sprawl.

Men USED to be proud of their work, they would WANT to appear to be capable and able. They ENJOYED work and the accomplishment that comes with it. I love that attitude. I just found, at least with alot of the single men around here, that they were more than happy to either always be manboys or slip back into that if a woman was sucker enough to put up with it. Watching video games, unemployed, living with mom and dad, unmotivated.

I think that's the big word here-UNMOTIVATED. It's unappealing for OR woman. These days, to just expect to have someone hand it to you, take care of you. When you are perfectly capable of pulling your share of the load, if it wasn't for laziness or a sense of entitlement.

Among other reasons I've talked about before, I've stopped dating because I've found that a huge percentage of the men, at least around here, who ARE financially secure/responsible are already married and have families. I wonder if the marriage has something to do with needing to be stable, or if the stable men naturally get snatched up faster. It's interesting to think about.
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 159
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/27/2014 9:01:37 AM
No I won't forgive him for saying that babyboomers need a bailout, and that people closer to my age are doing well. That shows a huge degree of ignorance. For a lot of reasons, if anything it could be argued that babyboomers have the advantage. College students are out with nowhere to work, student debt is through the roof.

When did I proclaim to have a big brain? Its call exemplify.

Here is a clue for you:

It cost me an industry I loved, a PPO plan, my savings, a great lifestyle in Florida, and an industry I would still be in.

When people spread bad information, I correct it. Because it was particularly the construction industry hit hardest. Assigning his generation reprieve from something that directly hit my industry? And is currently effecting all generations?

Doesn't work that way, and I don't appreciate reading it. So I corrected it, reactionary or not.

I hate ignorance, especially when it is delivered in a way to downplay other generations (in this context)
Joined: 10/31/2014
Msg: 160
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/27/2014 11:40:30 AM
Whoahhhhhhhhh -it's getting tense in here.

It will be nice to be somewhat economically and socially viable one day. It will probably seem rather foreign to me. I wouldn't have enjoyed it if I spent all of this time on myself and neglected other people in my life. Some could have done both, but each of our situations is different.

People of all income levels get dates -get married, etc. -so find someone with whom you are compatible and let the rest do the same. No worries.

Awesome stuff, VK -nice work -hopefully there is someone left out there for you. Doesn't sound like you really need anybody, but it could be a good thing.

You also reminded me I need to finish the footings on my porch/deck thing ;p
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 161
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/27/2014 12:16:54 PM
CtrlVector, you need to get back on your meds. Based on your posts here, you are out of control and delusional.

Tarnished Knight is not a friend of mine. We are so far apart politically, if we ever met we would probably shoot each other on sight. But he did not say, did not imply, the things that you are trying to attribute to him.

Get a grip. If you need help, professional help, then seek that.

Back on topic:

BlondeAngel, I have to agree, there should be a balance. Saving all of your money for your old age is not for me. Saving some, yes, enough to be sure that I won’t be a burden on anyone else. But why not do the things today that I enjoy, while I can still enjoy them?

The lady who talked about walking a mile to work to save bus fare, meaning no insult, but I personally think that’s crazy. Now it takes all kinds, and everyone is entitled to believe what they believe, and live the way they want to live. But anyone who would walk a mile to save a dollar, well, we’re just not on the same wave length. If you did it for the exercise, for your health, then I would applaud you. But not to save bus fare.
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 162
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/27/2014 5:12:57 PM
Ditto what Onhenryx said. The only reason I walk is to be fit. I walk 4 miles to work. Not to save gas, but to be fit. When I walk back home? I'm fit again and don't have to worry about motivating myself to go to the gym.

How about that dude that's searching for the cheapest gas on his way to Vegas? Yikes!

I'd like to think the dating landscape, especially for the 45+ crowd, doesn't boil down to the 'haves' vs. the 'have nots'.

Heard some posts somewhere else about 'wanting the whole package' from a man, including retirement. Wow.

What a bleak outlook for love, comparing 401K portfolios and seeing if we can fit in this other person-expense into our lives. Hey, if she's got a comparable portfolio, more power to her. By all means, find your equal.

I'd rather live for me now and not worry about attracting a future partner based on my 'portfolio package'.

Social security in Costa Rica isn't looking too shabby btw.

I choose to live in the moment here. That little pot of gold/tax deduction isn't going to sustain me or my future partner for more then a couple of years after retirement.

What I won't do, however, is become that guy that says, "I used to be somebody that made $100k+".

A co-worker I know recently retired. He's already having issues because they married with different retirement plans and now they're trying to navigate spending since he retired and she is still working. What a fine mess:(
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 163
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/27/2014 6:34:02 PM
Sorry fellows. Ur all wrong. Sorry. It's male models with cash that gets women.
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 164
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/27/2014 6:50:52 PM
Hm yeah I dunno somehow I inferred the post wrong. 2nd time around

Walk everywhere, I agree. If you can.

A mile is nothing really, 10 minutes or so.

Yeah everyone should walk everywhere, as long as it isn't an inconvenience. I go to a college up the street, its maybe a mile and a half. Some days I walk too and from it 3 times. The gym is nice too, cheapest way to workout and actually best gym locally.

When you park, park away from the madness, less chance of getting dinged by a cart or careless driver. It costs maybe 20 seconds or so? And what is wrong with saving 1 dollar on 10 minutes? If you have money to be pissing maybe. But that adds up after a while
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 165
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/29/2014 1:40:10 AM

Sorry fellows. Ur all wrong. Sorry. It's male models with cash that gets women.

I can safely say that I don't even know a male model. There can't be that many male models with lots of spare cash.
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 166
view profile
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/29/2014 9:57:23 AM

Many if not most male models are gay anyway so you ladies are out of luck.
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 167
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/29/2014 11:45:49 AM
OhHenry ^^^

I didn't say I 'walk' a mile to save the bus dare but 'walked'. Yes, I did save money so I could put myself through nursing college. That included scraping together every 35 cents (the price of bus fare back then in Boston). Today?....nice to reap the rewards by living in a nice inner city house 3 blocks from work and working when it pleases me. Having said this, pales in comparison as to how far my partner has come in life. Not exactly 'rags' to riches but a from a little village where he literally had to get up at the crack of dawn to feed the chickens and milk the cow. Taught himself 5 English words a day by reading the dictionary.

Same here. Never knew or met a male model. Doubt if they get much work or make more money a year at modelling than the guy who delivers pizzas. I have a sister who did some modelling shoots and even she didn't make all that much. She had another job to pay the rent, etc.
Joined: 5/21/2014
Msg: 168
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/29/2014 8:41:48 PM
The obvious answer is; men are looking for above-average looking women. Above-average looking women know this, and are mostly looking for above-average income men.

Yes, there are a few who don't fit this mold. But 99% of them do. Like that Eagles song goes, "City girls just seem to find out early, how to open doors with just a smile..."

I have been contacted by women from 5 states away, and I know damn well it's because they're searching by income. I was talking to one girl a few weeks ago that was so obviously expecting me to buy her shit on our first date that I literally hung up on her. Some are obvious, some not as much, but most of them want the payout.
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 169
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Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2014 12:03:28 PM
^^^. Obvious?

What is obvious is that you shouldn't be trying to understand women through the lyrics of 20something year old rock stars.

In my my experience no mystery (no need to follow he gospel of Eagles s lyrics). Be responsible and respectful. Ta da ! That's it. Being responsible means being financially secure by your 40's. Some messed up a few times in the early 20's, learned from it and then made better choices. Accept that where you now are in life is about those choices. This applies to health as well as finances.
Joined: 5/21/2014
Msg: 170
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2014 12:40:49 PM

What is obvious is that you shouldn't be trying to understand women through the lyrics of 20something year old rock stars.

When a lyric rings true, it rings true. Doesn't matter if they're 15 or 55. It's just a fact; pretty girls know that guys are gonna fawn all over them. And it really doesn't matter how respectful or responsible you are, if you're broke you ain't landing a 10. Maybe a very down-to-Earth 8 if you're extremely lucky, but not a 10.
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 171
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/30/2014 1:06:10 PM
What is obvious is that you shouldn't be trying to understand women through the lyrics of 20something year old rock stars.

Agreed. Especially since he doesn’t even understand them:

Like that Eagles song goes, "City girls just seem to find out early, how to open doors with just a smile..."

What does living in the city have to do with whether or not a “girl” is attractive?

You do know how the rest of the song goes, right? She marries a rich old dude and takes a young, handsome lover while leaving oldie at home alone. Careful what you wish for.

And it really doesn't matter how respectful or responsible you are, if you're broke you ain't landing a 10.

Maybe try behaving respectfully before dismissing it. You sound like a playa wannabe.
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