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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > A 10/10 with a language barrier, very strange date, stranger day after      Home login  
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 usmale6
Joined: 9/14/2013
Msg: 23
A 10/10 with a language barrier, very strange date, stranger day afterPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Of course she is beautiful - you would not be here otherwise if she was butt-ugly, you would not care! But you have a problem. Just because they have a pretty wrapper does not mean they are good relationship material. Attraction is important to an extent, but it's what's on the inside that you have to live with.

She brings groceries to cook you dinner at your house on date number one - That's a little too early... date 3-5 would be more natural. Then, you two are affectionate and as close as Siamese twins, but you try to kiss her, and she rejects you and starts talking about bringing the boyfriend's stuff back!

Not kissing is a ginormous red flag. There is a song, "It's in his Kiss". Well, it's in her kiss too... a woman who has a spark, a crush, some level of love for you, which you need for her to be a good bet for relationship material, will kiss a man on a first date... when she's sane and not on the rebound, that is. If you are not kissing, you are just wishing!

She's on the rebound, and when they are, they act a little flaky and crazy because their emotions are a mess.

The language barrier is another deal breaker - communication is very important. It's going to drive you crazy when you have to hear the word "what" 84 times a day!

Someday, when she has had time to heal from the last relationship and is not on the rebound anymore and she meets a nice Frenchman, she'll have a nice relationship. But for you, today - you are playing with fire.
 SunForSome2
Joined: 11/11/2013
Msg: 24
A 10/10 with a language barrier, very strange date, stranger day after
Posted: 12/24/2013 11:34:58 PM
Yes. It is a weird story.

Personally, I don't like to rush into things... It's not good to invite someone over to your place and to have her cooking dinner on the second meet. It's a sweet gesture. However, I would prefer 5-10 dates before a home date. I don't like potential stalkers to know where I live... You probably dropped your guard here since she was very attractive.

I also think it's actually sort of refreshing that she was honest with you about the other guy in her life. Some people would choose to keep very quiet about these things while they worked on tying up their loose ends... that is if they even cared to tie up their loose ends at all. At meeting #2 they might just see you as a fling.... so why bother saying anything? Don't you think that it would be worse to date her for two months and wonder why she hasn't invited you over to her place? I prefer people to be honest with me even though I might not like their circumstances.

In regards to the guy who left all of his clothing over at her place... well... "he'll be back". I bet they'll be an on/off item. He's probably weighing out the pro's and con's just like you are. That's why he was a little distant with her. The problem is... she seems a little quick to rush onto guy #2 just because she hasn't heard from him in a few days. She sounds more like an insecure American girl, who needs to wrap up one relationship before she starts a second one, than a free-spirited French girl. Yet, per her actions towards you (reluctant but friendly) she hasn't totally emotionally detached from guy #1. So, what poor qualities does this fellow have that would make her want to totally call things off? Why form an attachment to you when she doesn't even know you? Is it just because you speak French?

Anyhow... her life is complicated. This is the reason why I like to take things slowly. At my age, you rarely meet someone these days who doesn't have some degree of complication.... unless they've been living under a rock.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 25
A 10/10 with a language barrier, very strange date, stranger day after
Posted: 12/25/2013 12:00:28 AM

I speak French almost fluently, lived in Nice for two years after college.

There's a forum for Profile Review but you may want to update your profile: education should be at least some college (instead of high school), and Second Language should be French.

There's also a forum for creative writing.

You're welcome. I'm just helpful that way.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 26
A 10/10 with a language barrier, very strange date, stranger day after
Posted: 12/26/2013 7:35:28 AM

I had a stroke of good luck this past weekend

you're probably still stroking

NAILED IT!
Cindy O
 TOaks91360
Joined: 11/22/2013
Msg: 27
A 10/10 with a language barrier, very strange date, stranger day after
Posted: 12/26/2013 8:53:57 AM
Bluntly speaking, it sounds like she's desperately looking for a kickstand to support her while she dumps her ex. She's probably in financial duress too. Probably hoping that giving you sex and cooking you dinner will get you on the fast track to exclusive white knight.

Be very careful.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 28
A 10/10 with a language barrier, very strange date, stranger day after
Posted: 12/26/2013 11:03:53 AM
The only thing that I see as odd is how honest she was with you, I wouldn't have told you I have to take care of something before I continue with you, it's none of your business. She was willing to go the distance and when it became too real, she remembered she has unfinished business to take care of (the guy's clothes at her house), before taking a full plunge into you. She was honest and told you what was going on, so that if any drama results from it, you already know of it.

French women are very direct and straightforward. If we like you, we'll be all over you, swarm you with kisses and caresses, be sexually explicit, and treat you like you're already our boyfriend/man, etc. We command the relationship but make you think you're in control. If you do some sh*t we don't like, we turn into ice. The good news? You know right away when you've done something we don't approve of. It's a hot and cold system, you need to learn to navigate that system.

I get what she was doing, she was seducing you and then you kissed her and broke her routine. We tend to be ritualistic in that aspect, we have a rhythm by which we do things. She was not done touching you, caressing you, etc, when you f*cked it up by going in for a kiss. Did you ever think maybe that's all she wanted? to touch you, be intimate with you, but not transcend to actual intercourse? We're very sexual beings and like to trace things, build up to the moment, and create intimacy before there is anything else, we direct the way we want it to go and then give you the control once you enter (literally). Why can't you let sh*t be? It was gonna get to that dumb dumb!

The only thing I see as "crazy" is that she felt comfortable enough to tell you about her personal life and situation so soon. She simply moved on from some guy, to you, but still has some stuff of his in her house. She seems like someone who is able to move on quickly and be open to someone else from a very beginning. I guess you rather a women who keeps everything to herself, doesn't tell you what she's thinking, does not express much interest in you, and keeps you guessing.

If she were not "hot", I doubt you would have been okay with her coming over to your place without even thinking of acquiring a potential stalker, right? Like "hot" people cannot be "off" as well, lmao.


I feel like she put out some definite crazy vibes, she is also foreign, which adds a grain of salt to everything potentially lost in translation


Stop blaming everything on her, you're the one saying she's "hot" and had the best weekend ever, therefore you let your guard down. That she is "foreign" does not make her an alien, it's simply a difference in culture. You didn't give a damn about her being French until she "weird" you out with being overly honest.

If all had gone right and you would have gotten laid, you'd be saying "this nice hot french lady came over and made me dinner, f*cked me, and left my house, it doesn't get any better than that, and I'm seeing her again next week".

Oh, and there is google translate for anything you need to tell her.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 29
A 10/10 with a language barrier, very strange date, stranger day after
Posted: 12/27/2013 10:29:32 AM

Like "hot" people cannot be "off" as well, lmao


Belle.....(see message 31).......


Just because they have a pretty wrapper does not mean they are good relationship material. Attraction is important to an extent, but it's what's on the inside that you have to live


US Male....(see message 26)

Amen to that!

this is where sooooo many men seem to get derailed......if a woman is "hot" she gets all the excuses and allowances in the book.

If she is deemed as crazy, unintelligent, lazy, etc....it's all good.....because she is "hot".

The guys out here just don't seem to get it.....meaning if a woman is eye candy or a trophy....it's all good....they like the pretty package on the outside but don't seem to want to see what's on the inside.......

 TOaks91360
Joined: 11/22/2013
Msg: 30
A 10/10 with a language barrier, very strange date, stranger day after
Posted: 12/27/2013 9:50:32 PM
Um sure. Yah. Just like the dumb nice guys with balding heads and triple digit incomes that get the 'hotties'.

I could care less about your cleavage or vanity. What's your fico score sweety?
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 31
A 10/10 with a language barrier, very strange date, stranger day after
Posted: 12/30/2013 2:02:30 PM
letsparty070- Aren't you the same person who posted the thread about the woman who got naked with you and then wouldn't have sex?
Hmmmm, I'm starting to see a pattern.
You either have epically bad luck or your bs'ing us, which is it?
Someone please pass the vodka ;)
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 32
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History
A 10/10 with a language barrier, very strange date, stranger day after
Posted: 1/1/2014 8:35:56 PM
OP, Sounds weird. I know practically nothing about relationships, but I have been told that European women are much more forward and also much less sexually inhibited that American women. However, not being well versed in foreign customs, I tend to avoid such entanglements. The way you describe her actions however is just plain strange. You might want to trad lightly with this one.
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