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 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 26
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating Page 2 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
Good thing I knew I was going to get eaten alive by a few people who don't know a damn thing about me or situation.....see ya and good luck to you all if you ever find someone on here. I like how people are saying there's no difference between online dating and real world dating.....if that's the case then why are there more people in relationships or married on the outside versus online?

what are you derping on about??? how can you date someone or be married online? do they have an app for that
news flash the people who are in a relationship mostly don't have any reason to be on a dating site so that's why they aren't here. ho hum, just us has-beens you know....


As I'm approaching my final days doing online dating since I can't seem to find a match(violin plays),

are you dying or are you just taking a piss before you leave us??? don't go, who will we eat.



biggest pet peeves when it comes to dating? Mine would be that the person doesn't talk much or ask many questions as well as not trying to have fun or expecting too much in so little time.

my answer to *that* would be that online dating actually makes it easier to sort these people out from the rest. they are the ones I no longer want to talk to because I got tired of carrying the conversation or explaining why I'm online but ignoring them, so I go find someone else (check your inbox, you know who you are). 'cept for that 20-something boytoy who was hung like a mule and wanted to be my personal servant.... I blocked *his* ass.

too much!! too soon!!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 27
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 5:37:21 AM

I was wondering what is everyone's biggest pet peeves when it comes to dating?


Well, honestly, I haven't had a "date" from this place in probably over 5 years. And with that, I really don't have any pet peeves about either. Dating, here or there, is what it is. You meet up with a person that you would like to get to know. You then, find out "stuff" about them that is either good or bad in your eyes. That could easily be "how they communicate" or a million zillion other things.

Now, if you had asked about my pet peeves about these forums, I have a few. Whining is one of them. Not that I'm defining what you are doing here OP as that, but, I would suggest it definitely is at the very least, a vent. Are you feeling any better???? We all need to vent. I just do it at the full moon, usually.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 28
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 8:14:27 AM
I don't guess I can be of much help because I refuse to make pets of my peeves.
However I would like to politely suggest that the OP step away from the computer for a couple of days, then come back and re-read this thread when it's got cold.

OK, I guess I do have one minor irritant...you cannot DATE online, you cannot have a relationship online. All you can do is possibly meet people to date and have relationships with.

Yes, online meeting of significant other partners has not yet caught up to the number of pair-bond relationships that develop from real-world interaction. I don't think that proves that online personal ad sites are intrinsically bad or ineffective, it just proves that the concept hasn't become as mainstream as the owners of such sites would like us all to believe.
Cindy O
 CallmeKen
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 29
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 9:19:01 AM

: I work with guys only.

You don't know how lucky you are until you work in a lab with 6 women. Eighteen days of PMS per month. Enough said.


I don't go bar hopping.

If you want to meet women, go where the women are. Strip clubs and Hooters don't count.


I've considered MeetUP but my interests are jogging, movies and technology/computer programming. Most of these activities are solitary nature.

I can quote you at least 6 jogging Meetup clubs in the Atlanta area. Again, if you want to meet women, you have to go where they are. That may mean taking a yoga or pottery class. It may mean taking a cooking class. Expand your interests.

This is why guys fail. If you want change in your life, you have to be the one that changes.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 30
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 9:42:02 AM
BTM1985...farewell after all the good times we have shared here on POF.
Always remember the great Pantera concert. We will miss you so much. Bon voyage.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 31
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 9:58:05 AM

If one in six relationships start online that's an over 80% failure rate! :D


That math makes no sense whatsoever. There could be a 100% success rate of those using online dating but if only one sixth of the overall population uses on,one dating you'd end up with those numbers.

Every relationship I've had has ended. Some started online some didn't. I have very few regrets. So you could either say I have a 100% failure rate because I'm now single or a near 100% success rate because I'm essentially happy with how my life has gone. Don't get too wrapped up in numbers.

Peeves? Much the same as the ladies have expressed here. Being deceptive about appearance is probably the biggest one.
I too don't understand why anyone would lie about something that will be quite apparent in person. My next biggest challenge, rather than peeve, is how to find the balance between trying to meet face to face as soon as possible to let nonverbal inputs catch up to two dimensional early information while not rushing things. It's a tricky thing to invest time wisely, knowing when to cut your loses and gracefully move on vs giving a prospect a fair chance to get past those early nerves and awkwardness.

All in all, it's a tool that can be used skillfully or ineptly. Our choice.
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 32
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 10:01:48 AM
I think my biggest pet peeve is people who think they know whats going on but havent spent enough time learning how things work.

...Oh...and the flakes.

Eric, that was a good concert. :)
 ladymercury
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 33
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 10:14:37 AM
I'm going to turn my pet peeve a bit inward and say I'm totally peeved that I just don't get it yet. No one's fault ... I'm really just not there, ya know?

I suspect if you had ever messaged a woman like me, BTM, you'd be terribly upset. I generally ask very little in the way of questions to the point it's seriously annoying, I don't seem to have all that much fun given the fate of the world around me, and I certainly share differences concerning expectations and time.

Not to worry though, I can be a good friend.

Hey, you could always just stay for the forums. You may just surprise yourself by becoming a wretched time vampire, know-it-all, internet down-an-outer with no prospect for success in dating and/or relationship building. Hurrah! The lowest of the lowest I think I've heard others say on here before leaving camp. For the record I really do like it here and even if I did find myself in a serious relationship, in all probability, I'd stay for the fun.

Enjoy the internet and expand your options at the same time. It can be uplifting!

 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 34
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 12:16:28 PM

Personally, the following bugs me:

1. Men who don't accept what their body type really is....
(how can a guy be average when he has 3 chins and a beer belly protruding from his Bud Light shirt?)
(how can a guy claim he is athletic when he has 2 chins and a soda belly protruding from his Cola shirt?)

2. Men who note interests: skydiving; hang gliding; zip lining; bungee jumping (examples) (yet when you talk to men, some admit they haven't even done that activity since the early 2000's)

3. Men who use old photos, especially the ones that note POF on them, as I understand those are really old....
(I went out with a guy in late 2011, and he admitted his photo was 3 years old. He is still on POF with the same 1 photo, now 5 years old)

Good list that can apply to both genders. Although I will add some people may have interests that they like. But are unable to do them that often because of lack of time, money, or the other resources. Also some people can have a photo that was taken 2-3 years ago and still look virtually the same. It depends on the person.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 35
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 12:26:30 PM
It is thanks to the OP that guys like me have better chances to not only contacting, but dating and ending in relationships with women that are above average to super hot.

Thank you. More of you also need to give up. Stop trying. Find nothing but pet peeves. Complain that is not fair. That women are unfair in the way they treat men online.

That allows guys like me to be successful. Why?

Perseverance. When everything fails, try again, but use a different tactic, different approach. If before you complemented, now don't complement. If before you talked about something you liked about the area of town they or you lived, now talk about something else. If before you talk about what you had in common, talk about what you do not have in common. In other words, keep trying until something sticks, and eventually something will stick.

Hot women can get away with anything. And they know that. So (sorry to say this for women don't like to hear this), tease them. Don't put them in pedestals. Make it fun, be funny. But also realize that you are online, so what sounds like a tease in real life can come across as an insult online. Realize that women can stop responding to you for weeks, then pick it up out of nowhere. Why? Because, while maybe 4 women may be exchanging emails with you, they can respond to another 300 other ones. But they will not. The reality is that it's too much work.

So to our advantage. Differentiate or die. Or do like the OP, give up. So dare to be different. Realize that the ultimate weapon that us guys have online is not money, or our looks (I am just average) but our words, our wit, our perseverance, and willingness to try different things.
 BTM1985
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 36
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 12:53:51 PM
You guys crack me up sometimes! Thanks for the laughs! I know I'm being bitter in this thread but no one forced you to read it or react to it. I need to let a lot of things go even if it was the stupidest thing I've heard of. I've been considering doing stuff like Salsa Dance and cooking classes so wish me luck! I'm surprised everyone is taking my opening sentence seriously(violin plays)
 ladymercury
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 37
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 1:09:39 PM

You guys crack me up sometimes! Thanks for the laughs!


There's the spirit OP, you've got it under wraps dude. All in good time!
 rainydaywoman55
Joined: 12/27/2013
Msg: 38
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 1:23:31 PM
My biggest issue is and always has been that no one READS my profile. That's part of the reason I removed my pictures. It would save them and me a bunch of time if they'd just read it and know that I'm not interested in anyone who lives too far away, etc.
 SambaDeUmaNotaSo
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 39
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 3:06:40 PM
I don't want to hijack this thread. The issue is biggest pet peeves.

I read all of the comments from the OP, and everyone else.

I think that online dating is a total Godsend for all of us.

I know we all have our individual limits on age, income, physical attributes, and other criteria.

However, if we are willing to devote sufficient time to finding our special someone, it CAN be done.

Online dating, and this site specifically, make it possible for us to cross paths with a HUGE NUMBER of people; people it would have been nearly IMPOSSIBLE to meet during our daily activities.

This site has an inspirational Testimonials section, and reading only a few pages there, will make it crystal clear that online dating DOES work for lots and lots of people.

Sure, people have all sorts of bad manners here, just as they do in the "real world." That's not the fault of this site, nor online dating, generally.

And, yes, all of us have pet peeves, but online dating, and POF, present incredible opportunities to find what our heart seeks.

But we have to do the work - search and search, and weed out the icky ones.

With the huge number of people here, there are soulmates and matches and future spouses wandering all over the place.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 40
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 3:17:32 PM

I don't want to hijack this thread. The issue is biggest pet peeves.

And YOUR pet peeve is?????????????
 SambaDeUmaNotaSo
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 41
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 3:23:46 PM
My biggest pet peeve is that I get accused of hijacking threads.

:)

My second biggest peeve would be the block function that is used too quickly.

My father was a dentist, and therefore, I appreciate a great smile. Two years ago, I was in the early stages of trading messages with a very pretty and intelligent woman from POF.

All was going well, until I mentioned, with the utmost sincerity, that she had fantastic teeth, and a great smile.

Well, she wrote me a furious letter, letting me know that the teeth were in fact implants due to a very serious accident she had sustained, and that I was a horrible person for making fun of her teeth. And, she BLOCKED me.

I later was able to explain about my father the dentist, and was forgiven.

I am not a fan of the BLOCK function (pet peeve), just in case there is an unfortunate misunderstanding.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 42
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 3:28:21 PM
My biggest pet peeves?

1) 100 men for every woman.
2) Fake profiles.
3) Fake dating sites (in general).
4) The whining by women that they can't find a date, when they never message back to anyone.
5) Shallowness among the onliners.
6) The "virtual fantasy" mentality.

I'll stop there.
 that_ol_lady
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 43
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 3:43:26 PM
1) the people who are pretending to be single an looking for love..

just stop the bull shit already its not like it will never be found out or they will never get caught up in their own web of lies with their spouse/mate..
 traveltrekker
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 44
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 4:16:21 PM

Where do you think the magical folk from online live?


Middle Earth.
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 45
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 5:51:11 PM
By far my biggest pet peeve is guys who ask for my name in the first message. It's clearly stated in my profile and requires half a second of effort to find it out.
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 46
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 5:58:16 PM
My biggest pet peeve are the guys that will send me hate messages when I decline their invitation to chat.
Others are men that lie about their age, marital status, height, number of kids they have.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 47
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 6:56:38 PM

3ffervescent wrote:

My biggest pet peeves?

1) 100 men for every woman.
2) Fake profiles.
3) Fake dating sites (in general).
4) The whining by women that they can't find a date, when they never message back to anyone.
5) Shallowness among the onliners.
6) The "virtual fantasy" mentality.

I'll stop there.


What a load of crap, and I want to roll it in glitter...

1) 100 men for every woman.

Copy and paste the stats from your area, I bet you a glitter covered dollar that the men don't outnumber the women 100 to 1.

Fake profiles.

Fake profiles? who do you think are making them?
Yeah, I have seen catfish - but most people are actually real on here...
--just because they don't message you doesn't make them fake.

The whining by women that they can't find a date, when they never message back to anyone.


Women can't find a date? Are you serious? Whenever I make my profile public I get offers of dinner, movies and weekends away.
--No reply, is a reply.


Shallowness among the onliners.

Onliners? you do know I live in the real world too?
Shallowness? I don't have a type and a lot of my friends are the same -- how is that shallow?

The "virtual fantasy" mentality.


Dude this is just a medium to meet people - not a virtual fantasy...

On topic, I have had 3 long term relationships from this place, and met a multitude of men that were really nice guys...


You've done it!! I believe I will move to Australia. It's DEFINITELY a different world there than here, and you represent a very different kind of woman than the ones I've encountered here in the USA.
 traveltrekker
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 48
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/7/2014 4:46:00 PM
Online dating was way easier a couple years than it is now


Agreed.


Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating


People who lie about their stats.
Too much cliched, inside the box thinking.
Too much pickiness about the wrong things.
Too many people who are long on talk and short on action.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 49
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/7/2014 5:28:41 PM
I don't have any pet peeves about it. It's about what I expected it to be, pretty much like real life. Some jerks, some weirdos, some people basing judgement on looks, etc. Pretty much like real life.

Why did I get in to it then? I thought it would be interesting, and it has been. I've met quite a few really nice guys. Just because nothing has "clicked" yet doesnt mean anything. I find it entertaining to read the profiles.
I don't go to bars and I live in a very rural area. It was something new. shrugs.

It's been fun and my friends enjoy the stories I tell them about it.

BTW: In 4 months, my brother is getting married to a woman he met through online dating. She's pretty, vivacious, intelligent...just pretty much wonderful. She's a great match for him. He's attractive, intelligent, funny, etc. Why did he go online? He got tired of meeting women at bars I guess. He-they both-work quite a bit and travel. They have been together for a few years now. We love her..
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 50
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/7/2014 5:43:18 PM
BTM1985- I agree that you are more likely to meet someone in real life.
Having said that, trying online increases your chances, so why quit?
When I first joined, I stressed too much and took things personally and then I realized that was just silly.
Note to self, no one can hurt your feelings without your permission.
Also, having no preset expectations is best, when dating online or real life. Picturing the picket fence before meeting (or soon after) is just setting yourself up for disappointment.
You did ask for dating pet peeves, mine are having to pry conversation out of someone, people who are rude with their cell phones (rudeness in general is a turn off) and pushing for too much too fast.
I'm not going to quit online dating because of some bad eggs, they are around in real life too, you just move on and move forward.
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