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 AUTHOR
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 101
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating Page 5 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

'Nice' boys and 'nice' girls are often hesitant, passive, and sometimes shy in an effort to be 'nice', and this often translates to their sexual style. Who wants that?


<<<<========================== That's who.

You see, I don't want or need any more demands on my life. I am not a circus contortionist and never will be. I prefer things simple. But yes, I do have my quirks as well (see my handle).
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 102
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 8:25:49 AM
On the forums, my biggest pet peeve is when seemingly good threads get deleted. My longer / edgier posts tend to be in such threads, probably the case for many posters.


The most annoying thing in online profiles is dishonest settings.

Three of the first four gals I met from POF claimed they don't drink. At the start of our 6th date she suggested we have a future outing taking the train to a winery! When I said I thought her profile setting was "I do not drink", she said she just doesn't drink beer. As if wine isn't alcohol. The other two had alcohol at home, one for cooking. The other might have had it for relatives when they visit.

Marital status. I consider single "never married, not currently engaged". Many people on here seem to put single when they've been married.

If they're dishonest about one setting, it's difficult to believe other things.

Body type is subjective, but it's annoying when an obviously overweight user claims athletic or average.

If you know you want kids, best to put yes.

Some advice givers say to maximize views by stretching the truth: if a few extra, say average; men who don't want kids should say undecided, women who want kids should say undecided, etc. I consider that advice bad.
 that_ol_lady
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 103
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 8:41:24 AM

SngleNarlington


Pet Peeve: When I see a photo of a woman I find attractive and then view the profile. There are 3 short sentences and the longest one reads “Please note that I require our first two dates to take place during the afternoon hours”. First I don’t do lunch for a first date and for the love of god, I just looked at this woman’s profile and there is already a “requirement”……the search continues!



well I can see that requirement because the woman more then likely does not want men hitting her up at all hours of the night pretending to want to come over just to watch a movie..

if its past 11pm or 12am that is NOT a date time an if the guy was actually interested he would pick a decent time of the day or wouldn't have a problem with getting together before 11pm at nite...

hell if I decide to meet somebody new for the first time anything past 9:30pm is to late for me to meet up an that is my own rule set for my self...
 PlentyofThis123
Joined: 11/23/2013
Msg: 104
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 9:06:06 AM

Nice guys don't have to be boring and most aren't. Maybe, men/women should let their hair down from time to time, so to speak? ;)


Well, it all depends on one's definition of what "boring" is. To throw a blanket "I want a guy/woman that's not boring/that is exciting". is paint a broad brush of generalization.

For instance, these days some people tend to bore easily these days anyhow, and it can't really be up to us to amuse or entertain them the entire course of the dating process. Of course, we can do our best to be entertaining, but sometimes that may not even be enough for said individual.
 PlentyofThis123
Joined: 11/23/2013
Msg: 105
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 9:16:51 AM

Significantly old pictures - 10 years older and 40 pounds heavier than the pictures is very, very common


Yes, you can kind of pick up on that based on their hairstyles of the time and the fact it looked like it was Polaroid scanned on a 1990's scanner. lol Sometimes the pictures can seem faded.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 106
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 9:22:20 AM
PlentyofThis123: You definitely make a good point about generalizations. Define boring? Define bad boy?
Define good girl? Define excitement? What I think is boring to one person, could be exciting to someone else.
We could go on and on and on. :)
 PlentyofThis123
Joined: 11/23/2013
Msg: 107
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 9:35:23 AM
PlentyofThis123: You definitely make a good point about generalizations. Define boring? Define bad boy?
Define good girl? Define excitement? What I think is boring to one person, could be exciting to someone else.
We could go on and on and on. :)


Yeah, some people state this in their profile "Must not be boring" or "Are able to keep my interest?"

What am I, a event co-ordinator for our nights out? lol I saw one woman state, "I am a professional, and only expect to date other professionals"

Okay, how do you define a "professional"?

And this one...."Don't contact me unless you're good looking!"

They make that statement expecting it to be an objective perspective as opposed to a subjective one.


PlentyofThis123: You definitely make a good point about generalizations. Define boring? Define bad boy?
Define good girl? Define excitement? What I think is boring to one person, could be exciting to someone else.
We could go on and on and on. :)


Right...and we're always reading advice columns or being given advice on how, as a man, to BE interesting to women. Why not be yourself and let the person accept you for what you can already entertain them with?
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 108
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 10:09:16 AM


Right...and we're always reading advice columns or being given advice on how, as a man, to BE interesting to women. Why not be yourself and let the person accept you for what you can already entertain them with?


this is true :) What is boring to one can be beyond incredibly interesting to another.

Where as I might want to watch a game of Thrones marathon while eating popcorn and drinking oj for a few hours might sound really fun to me, it might be the equivalent of a root canal for someone else :)
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 109
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 10:36:02 AM
^^^^^^Exactly !! And some might find a root canal more fun than going to visit the gynecologist or proctologist..... 😳
 SngleNarlington
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 110
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 10:45:07 AM
@dh2- I think you are describing a guy who is in-between nice guy and bad boy! If you verbally explain to a “nice guy” that you DON’T kiss on the first date, he will be nice and respect your wishes. A bad boy is going to say BS and put you to the test. The question is, who do you find more exciting?

Have you ever had that conversation with a nice guy when you’re trying to figure out where to go for dinner? You really want him to make a decision for once but he keeps saying “I don’t care, where do you want to go?” and this goes on for a few minutes! How exciting is that?

Since you are curious and asking about what I like in the bedroom….send a message and I’ll give you my number so we can talk about it ;)

@that_ol_lady – I go to lunch with friends or a woman who I’ve already been on a few dates with. So if I’m looking at a woman for a friendship, I have no problem with lunch. Anything after 11PM I see as a booty call! I agree with you that it’s too late for a “date” unless there is something specific you are doing e.g., going to a late movie, meeting at a night club, etc. etc. Usually my first “meets” start around 7ish. It’s not lunch or booty call hours but what I think of as regular dating hours (which can vary).
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 111
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 11:51:55 AM

If you verbally explain to a “nice guy” that you DON’T kiss on the first date....


Stop right there!
I would never say to a guy "I don't kiss on the first date." If there is mutual attraction, most likely kiss(ing) will happen.


Have you ever had that conversation with a nice guy when you’re trying to figure out where to go for dinner? You really want him to make a decision for once but he keeps saying “I don’t care, where do you want to go?”


^^^^ I don't call this a "nice" guy, I call this... a guy who cannot make a decision whether he be a nice guy or a bad boy... Women do this too. You mean to tell me when all a women says...."I don't care where we go, you pick," this doesn't get annoying over time? This is not gender specific. I just don't get why some people think a nice guy has to be a boring guy or a bad boy can't be a nice guy as well. It's like some men think women should always wear dresses and be chained to the kitchen. Note, I said some men.....whereas some people like to be chained elsewhere......no need to read into that one......

Snglenarlington: I did not realize I was inquiring what YOU liked in the bedroom. Rather, I made a statement reflecting my opinion that guys may want nice girls, but I think they want a wild side to them as well. Maryann/Ginger all rolled into one.....but, since you are inclined to provide possible useful information into the male bedroom psyche, maybe I will send you a message, but I will do so before 11pm so you don't think it's a booty message..... ;)


On the forums, my biggest pet peeve is when seemingly good threads get deleted. My longer / edgier posts tend to be in such threads, probably the case for many posters.


^^^^Absolutely!! Agreed!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 112
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 12:23:14 PM
I absolutely do know


LOL, you absolutely DO NOT know.


Listen,sweetie-you can come back when you've been married for 25 years and had to bury a spouse. Come back when you've decided to be extremely choosy about dating BECAUSE you actually DO KNOW what the real deal looks and feels like.
I got 18 yrs on you, and have been in relationships that lasted more than 3 years.

Bitter? where do you get that? I just am a bit disappointed at times, about all this crap of marginal/mediocre men either spewing bile, or pretending to be such a great guy-UNTIL he doesn't get his way about something. Or the guys who want to date for proxy revenge on a woman( or women) he believes have wronged him.

Sorry, I know tons of women who are in strong relationships/marriages with good men, not attractive azzholes or pseudo nice guys. Your claim that almost all women are dumping on "nice guys"to get with azzhole guys doesn't hold true in my social environment. But perhaps in your social environment it is more accurate. If that's the case I'm sorry for you. But perhaps it only seems that eay to you, or maybe you are tryig to salve your wounded ego by casting aspersions on women's judgement.

If you aren't getting the women you want, it's because they don't want YOU-not because they are all dazzled and stupidly choosing attractive azzholes.

It absolutely is entirely possible for a good man to be a nice guy WITHOUT being a pushover, doormat,wimp or boring. I've seen it done, I see it being done every day. In fact most of the genuinely good/nice guys I've known throughout my life have no need to proclaim their niceness or whine that women reject them in favor of azzholes.

Again,OT, while I don't care to make pets of my peeves, I do not like guys who claim one thing while intending another. And I am sick of hearing self-stated "nice guys" make proclamations that they are going to quit being nice and start being a bad-ass d-bag because that's what women want.

The HELL we do.

And just because a man is a little more than average in looks, talent,finances or other external symbols of "success" does NOT automatically make him an azzhole d-bag looking for women to use and abuse. Of course,being a little more than average is not a guarantee of goodness, either. But for guys to make these prononcements that being attractive, or interesting,or sucessful, means that a man will automatically be a mistreater of women, is just ridiculous.
Cindy O
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 10/8/2013
Msg: 113
!)
Posted: 1/11/2014 12:55:43 PM
I don't want a "nice guy", I want a "good man". Big difference, the former is a needy, clingy pushover, the latter an honorable, decent, confident man. Thankfully, I think I found a truly good man :-) - on POF (shocker!!!),
 tremtgolden456
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 114
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 1:07:16 PM
Listen,sweetie-you can come back when you've been married for 25 years and had to bury a spouse.


Sorry about your husband "sweetie".



Come back when you've decided to be extremely choosy about dating BECAUSE you actually DO KNOW what the real deal looks and feels like.


You should be saying this to all of those "I want a nice/good/solid guy" women, not me. I know what I want, you claim to know what you want, I'm talking about those women who DO NOT KNOW what they want(something you've missed yet again).



I got 18 yrs on you, and have been in relationships that lasted more than 3 years.


So what, what does this have to do with your intial bitter response that I quoted, and that YOU seemed to have such issues with? YOU said it, I quoted it, and you can't seem to let it go. If you wish to continue on, I can too.


Bitter? where do you get that?


Same place you apparently got that I or anyone else was "bitter". YOU claimed I was...a few times.



I just am a bit disappointed at times, about all this crap of marginal/mediocre men either spewing bile, or pretending to be such a great guy


Interesting, since YOU were quoted as being a bit butt hurt about something another poster said. When called on it, you then resorted to name calling, and trashing of men(you know, we get sick of that stuff too as well). It's funny how you're such an "expert" in the field of knowing how all men seem to be, yet no one here has every heard of you outside of this forum. Do you happen to have any factual evidence that suggests that all these men are "marginal/mediocre", as you've stated?



UNTIL he doesn't get his way about something. Or the guys who want to date for proxy revenge on a woman( or women) he believes have wronged him.



Hmm, and women don't do this very same thing moreso then men? We both know the answer to that is THEY DO. You apparently don't like it when done to you, what makes you think men like it when women do it to them?


Sorry, I know tons of women who are in strong relationships/marriages with good men, not attractive azzholes or pseudo nice guys.


Isn't that how it should be? Of course, I know many women who are in bad marriages/relationships with complete idiots, and a$$holes THEY chose to be with, yet continue complaining about them. They refuse to take any sort of responsibility for the choices they make.


Your claim that almost all women are dumping on "nice guys"to get with azzhole guys doesn't hold true in my social environment.


Maybe not YOUR social environment specifically, but it DOES exist in most social environments though, which cannot be denied. Which was what I was referring to when quoting any of your posts


But perhaps in your social environment it is more accurate.


Try MOST of TODAYS social environment, this board here is chock full of stuff like what we've been speaking about.


If that's the case I'm sorry for you. But perhaps it only seems that way to you, or maybe you are tryig to salve your wounded ego by casting aspersions on women's judgement.


It's a "judgement" when YOU say it, when you're called out on it, it's a wrong opinion, and the man is "bitter/angry/a woman hater"etc. Amazing how that works. No need to be sorry for me, my ego wasn't wounded, nor was I the one complaining or whining, YOU were, remember?


If you aren't getting the women you want, it's because they don't want YOU-not because they are all dazzled and stupidly choosing attractive azzholes.


Where did I say I wasn't getting women? Go back and re-read my posts, and if you can find where I said that, please post it here. YOU(just like MANY women here) continue assuming that we're automatically "bitter/woman haters" because we're complaining about an unhealthy trend we keep seeing in womens profiles. Infact, your initial post that I quoted, was the same vitriol/"bitter/angry" stuff you're complaining we men supposedly do. I found it hypocritical and ironic that you'd said that.


It absolutely is entirely possible for a good man to be a nice guy WITHOUT being a pushover, doormat,wimp or boring. I've seen it done, I see it being done every day.


Then talk to your fellow "societal environmental" women(and MANY women here) and explain this to them as well, so we don't have continuous posts/threads about the topic. It is possible, but SOME/MANY MANY women don't allow that to happen do they? no.



In fact most of the genuinely good/nice guys I've known throughout my life have no need to proclaim their niceness or whine that women reject them in favor of azzholes.



I agree. BUT AGAIN, I neither made it known/proclaimed, nor "whined" that I was a "nice guy" did I? No. I was responding to your bitter response you gave about the subject. I said from the beginning, I'm not a nice guy, as nice guys usually do not get much as being such. YOU'RE the one who was "whining", which is what I quoted, if you go back and re-read some of our earlier exchanges, YOU'D see it was YOU who were doing the "whining" and immediately began labeling me as a "whiner/complainer", when what I had to say, didn't jive with your opinion(which is usually the case).


Again,OT, while I don't care to make pets of my peeves, I do not like guys who claim one thing while intending another.


Amen!! Just like I detest when women do the exact same thing, and when they're called out on it, they resort to labeling folks: "women haters/whiners/etc/etc". Women do this exact same thing to men, to claim otherwise, says you're either ignorant to it, or you refuse to admit it because you know it's true and just don't want to admit it.


And I am sick of hearing self-stated "nice guys" make proclamations that they are going to quit being nice and start being a bad-ass d-bag because that's what women want.



Kind of is the way it is isn't it? I'm sick(probably moreso than you are) of women complaining/whining about how they cant find "nice/good/solid guys" or demand that. Then when presented with a bevy of those types of men, do a complete about face, and usually go back to dating douche bag after douche bag. What was the point of asking for something you really DON'T want?


The HELL we do.


What? maybe that's not what YOU want specifically, but there are MANY MANY MANY women here who have the "looking for/I want as nice guy" slathered all over their profiles.


And just because a man is a little more than average in looks, talent,finances or other external symbols of "success" does NOT automatically make him an azzhole d-bag looking for women to use and abuse.


You've lost me, but I agree.


Of course,being a little more than average is not a guarantee of goodness, either. But for guys to make these prononcements that being attractive, or interesting,or sucessful, means that a man will automatically be a mistreater of women, is just ridiculous.



Lost me again, but ok.
 tremtgolden456
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 115
!)
Posted: 1/11/2014 1:19:52 PM

I don't want a "nice guy", I want a "good man". Big difference, the former is a needy, clingy pushover, the latter an honorable, decent, confident man.


Thank you for backing up what I've been trying to get across to some folks here, this is coming from a woman. Proves also that "nice guys" don't get what they want and that women who claim they want "nice guys"... really don't.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 116
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 1:27:54 PM
Tremt

Yep. Although usually the "hot guys" are the total douche bags who dump all over them, cheat on them, etc, and these women follow them around like lost puppy dogs actually believing these men like them, when in reality, these "hot guys" are out bangin half the neighborhood.

If you want a guy who treats you like crap, just come right out and say it. Sure is funny to me, that these same women, have no issues at all telling other "creepy guys" there's no way in hell they'd date them, yet they can't seem to say what they really are looking for in a man, and actually stick to it.

this is from YOUR post # 72.
Classic sour-grapes , woman -bashing, bashing of "hot guys"....
How is it again that making this observation/stating my opinion-about YOUR post!- makes ME bitter?

Cindy O
 tremtgolden456
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 117
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 1:35:42 PM
Classic sour-grapes , woman -bashing, bashing of "hot guys"....


I "woman bashed"? Where? I was painting a usual and increasingly sad scenerio. I noticed what you DIDN'T do is refute any of it. There wasn't a shred of proof as to what I said there? and that wasn't even directed at you, but more of an "as a matter of fact" kind of posting to say that these same women, "whine" all the time about how they can't seem to find "good/nice guys", yet continue going back to these abusive/douchebag type men.

Thank you for only quoting what you wanted.

No "sour grapes" here...sorry to disappoint. I don't date emotionally challenged women.


How is it again that making this observation/stating my opinion-about YOUR post!- makes ME bitter?


How was/is it again that my opinion from when I intially responded to YOUR post makes me "bitter"? explain?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 118
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 5:11:50 PM

Yep. Although usually the "hot guys" are the total douche bags who dump all over them, cheat on them, etc, and these women follow them around like lost puppy dogs actually believing these men like them, when in reality, these "hot guys" are out bangin half the neighborhood.

Well, just because the hot guy's hooking up with a lot of women doesn't mean he dumps all over them. The problem is when one engages for a little while with someone in which they can do better, then ends up losing interest. You'll find that a lot more with the top tier... and yes, there are more on the top tier who take what they have for granted. So when he's out of her league and he loses interest after things seemed (with the help of her hopes) get started, the cries of him being an a-hole are going to be exaggerated. It brings hurt when someone who seemed to like you ends up not liking you -- Especially when they're out of your league. It will feel better that they just used you (and never did like you), and it's them -- not the lack of you. Instinctively, hurt is hurt -- and fault is aimed -- by help of one's peers, too -- where exaggerations & other inaccuracies will be put on that person merely because they lost interest.

Average Joes will eat it up and want to believe they all dump all over them as much as possible for whatever help there can be to keep those stand-out hotter guys at bay (by way of skepticism). But regardless, those situations Do shed light on how women are into looks a lot when it's so PI to downplay that and believe that it isn't the case.

As far as "nice guy" -- there are different demographics of women. Most women do not want a Mr Nice Guy. They may like that when already-involved within a Relationship down the road, but they don't want a Yes-Man. Now, that's most. And to what degree varies. And depends on how the guy is otherwise.

But rule of thumb, have & live your own life, don't cater to every wish, microscopic or big, to "win over" a gal you just met or started mingling with where "I want you, I want you" oozes out in neon. When most guys are like that, they firmly believe they're not doing it so much. A Mr Nice Guy = not a guy where 'nice' is a quality mixed in among many, but a Doormat who like a chameleon will want to blend into everything for the gal's sake under the assumption that women are just missing out on that.
 SngleNarlington
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 119
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/11/2014 9:57:12 PM

Stop right there!
I would never say to a guy "I don't kiss on the first date." If there is mutual attraction, most likely kiss(ing) will happen.


Now for a minute there I was thinking you were wanting to Kick it……Stop Collaborate and L I S T E N ….check out the hook…..ice, ice baby….Yo let’s get out of here and talk about those chains….I won’t tell your mother….Take heed, cause I’m a lyrical poet……ice ice baby :)

Ok my dance is over now down to business! I did notice you avoided the question that I asked but we all know most women want the bad boy. He is going to smack you on the ass and do things to you that the “nice guy” won’t comprehend or imagine on his most creative day. He will end this escapade by saying “ok get the fvck out, I need to smoke a joint and sleep”. On your way home you will be so confused about what just happened but you know you liked it. The next day the “nice guy” (who is afraid to kiss you because he respects you) will call and you will explain to him that you’re not ready for a relationship but still want to be his FRIEND. This is the oldest scenario in the book, why do you deny it?

I don’t think you are talking about a “nice guy” rather a mixture of nice guy and azzhole!
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 120
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/12/2014 2:33:58 AM

The question is, who do you find more exciting?


You mean this question is the one I avoided? Good grief.....Well, you know what.....I think I will pass on both. If your nice guy means he can't decide on where to go for dinner because he can't make decisions, then I will pass. If your bad boy is going to test me, then I will pass. I am not into ass smackers either, nor am I into a man who is afraid to kiss me. So, I guess that just leaves what I think most women want - a real man. Just be real.

Here is another online dating pet peeve.....white guys who can't rap! hmmmmm....
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 121
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/12/2014 5:12:38 AM
^^^ lol^^^
The women I know have or want MEN not boys.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 122
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/12/2014 11:14:06 AM

I "woman bashed"? Where?


Really? By claiming that women "usually" choose good-looking d-bags that dump on then, you aren't suggesting that women in general(usually) are reasoning-challenged?


I noticed what you DIDN'T do is refute any of it.


Really? Stating that I was NOT seeing lots of women being dumped on by good-looking d-bag men in MY social environment isn't a partial refutation?
I won't make any claim that what I see in my social environment is a universal truth. But I do get tired of the cliches and stereotypes. I see very plain looking men who are d-bags, and good-looking guys who are not spoiled-ass brats using their looks to mistreat women.


No "sour grapes" here...sorry to disappoint. I don't date emotionally challenged women.


I'm not disappointed- I'm just going to make an observation that people who are reasonably content with their sociosexual staus(whatever it might be at the time) aren't making huge generalizations about the opposite gender.
Note carefully- I'm not making any generalization, I'm actually taking issue with what YOU said about most women only wanting good-looking bad boys who use and abuse them,and trying to make it out that any woman who dates a good-looking man is setting herself up for disappointment.

This is a classic low-beta( or lower)male attempt to deflect women away from the alpha men, by alleging hidden defects.
While I realize that this is more a peeve about forums or other conversational/discussion venue, rather than online dating per se,I do get irritated with this ploy.
Nor do I like for people to try and claim that all exceptionally attractive women are high maintenance gold diggers, or a that a woman with a more liberal sexual policy is ruining dating for "decent" women.

I'm not "attacking" anyone here except one poster with whom I take issue, said issue being that he is trying to tell women that they must choose the so-so guys,the (barely) average joes, or else run a high risk of being used and abused buy a more goodlooking or interesting guy.

Trust me, average looks and a boring personality DO NOT guarantee that someone is a "nice guy". Nor do good looks guarantee that a guy is a badazz that uses and abuses women.
Do men-and women!-who are of a more highly attractive look,get away with a little more?
Of course they do, but that's no reason to get into a snit bout the matter.Or make generalizations/give out partially false "cautions".

Make your dating and relationship life be about your own merits, rather than trying to tear down any sector of the dating pool that you see as "competition".


Speaking of that, I will say that I do encounter men in my personal dating experiences who seem to be trying to use tearing down their ex in an attempt to get the woman they are currently involved with to constantly "prove" that she's "not like that".
I wouldn't go so far as to call it a "peeve" but I do think it's a tactic I don't care for.


but they don't want a Yes-Man.

Sorry, but I have to say that many of us KNOW that a "yes man" is very likely NOT a "nice guy"-he's working an angle, and all too often when it comes down to not getting his way about something- Mr.Nice Guy turns into a ranting accuser and guilt tripper.
So yeah, I guess some could call THAT a pet peeve.


we all know most women want the bad boy. He is going to smack you on the ass and do things to you that the “nice guy” won’t

with all due respect...B.U.L.L.S.H.I.R.T.
We want a confident man with good manners, not an asskissing lost puppy trailing behind us trying to curry favor. But we also don't want jerks.
I will concede that there are both men and women who are not emotionally the healthiest, who may pursue the "bad boy" or the "damsel in distress"( or the over-groomed high maintenance b*tch)But I would NOT say that this is MOST women or MOST men. I'm sorry. but count me out of your "we all know most (wo)men"
group.
I know no such thing. And I doubt that this is anything extraordinary for my gender.
Cindy O
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 123
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/12/2014 12:04:19 PM
Sorry, but I have to say that many of us KNOW that a "yes man" is very likely NOT a "nice guy"-he's working an angle, and all too often when it comes down to not getting his way about something- Mr.Nice Guy turns into a ranting accuser and guilt tripper.

A lot of people aren't going to be Nice when the other person loses interest, which goes back to the original point about average Janes & hot guys. They too will get p!ssy about not getting their way, their hopes were up, what the hell, blah blah blah.

But there are many guys who come off as Mr Nice Guy who Are Doormats, and genuinely "too nice" type people. To whatever degree they get p!ssy, upset, and pushing guilt on the other after being rejected is another story -- that'll be found in many people of all varieties.

My point is that guys can be more of a Doormat and work well -- when already a serious boyfriend and they're (she's) successfully rolling into the settle down and move in together, get married, make babies, never/rarely go out outside family, etc. Mr Nice Guys see that doormat-role work well, and falsely think that they just have to convey that since so many women don't like Mr No Commitment -- and unfortunately apply it to garnering a girl's interest from the get-go... but it doesn't work that way. Real Mr Nice Guys will not use that as an angle per se -- it's natural to them, while others, when it comes to girls who are out of their league, will consciously go that route. But you don't want to scream out "I'm an easy catch" and be a yes-man with a schedule wide-open and give out the Vibe of I'll-do-whatever-you-want-just-name-it out of the starting gate -- it doesn't garner the interest with most women of all varieties, whether they be pretty wholesome or club-hoppers -- when they have their fair share of opens who are independently minded and are actual "catches".

A real "catch" isn't going to be a fish jumping in the other's boat.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 124
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/12/2014 12:57:54 PM

Woman and men who are TOO picky ... never get off this site..

Actually, there are a fair amount of folks of both genders who stay on the site for the forums, or because they've gotten into promoting RL PoF events,-eve though they are in relationships.
Some who are on this site are here primarily for the forums. Some actually prefer being picky and ENJOYING their life rather than latching onto any opportunity to get in a relationship, because their biggest fear in life is someone else's opinion that (s)he will "never get off this site."
I actually came to PoF following a search for forums about dating, relationships, etc. Since one has to be a member and put up a profile in order to participate in the forums, I did so.
People who claim that they are only single because other people are "too picky" are being overly defensive.
There are a lot of people who hold a mild interest in the dating scene while being perfectly fine with being single, semi-single, a social dater, or looking for a more non-standard type of relationship. Or are only people who are ready to LEAP at the first offer permitted to participate in online dating sites?
Cindy O
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 125
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/12/2014 1:06:07 PM
Well, Hammertownguy62, what I find interesting, it appears OP's profile is still up and he was in his "final days" on PoF as of January 5th. How many days are considered final? Maybe, he has had a change of heart and realizes online dating doesn't have as many Pet Peeves as he once believed?
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