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 AUTHOR
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 176
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating Page 8 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
The invisable line of guys in front of the woman you want to message
 foodieguitarman
Joined: 12/17/2013
Msg: 177
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/15/2014 9:31:30 AM

Yes it does, especially when I heard her purr ;)...


If her kitty was purring you must've been petting it !

: )
 SavoyFaire
Joined: 1/14/2011
Msg: 178
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/15/2014 11:32:03 AM
Profile Pet Peeves

1. Whats up with photos so far away, you can't see the person. Or multiple photos but, all the photos are group shots
and you have to figure out which is actually the person who wrote the profile. You gotta love the "OUT OF
FOCUS" photos & the infamous "hold your cell phone in front of the mirror" photos.

2. Negative/Angry profiles, where they talk about what they are "NOT" putting up with.

3. Whats up with photos of lakes, mountains, flowers, the ocean, canyons, dogs, cats, fish LOL. For a moment, I
thought I was on The Travel Channel or Animal Planet. LOL
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 179
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/15/2014 1:46:05 PM

misrepresenting the number of prior marriages, their true economic situation, whether or not they are or have been on psych meds, any criminal background, who fathered their children and other such matters also arise. I could go on but will refrain.


with all due respect, these things are- IMO-not things that need to be addressed in the profile. Do you find that in real-life venues, people are wearing shirts that announce their medical status, income, number of children, source and amount of income?

I think people's medical history is between them, their doctor, and (where applicable) next-of-kin. Yes, when one begins to seriously consider forging a pair-bond relationship,such things may need to be discussed,if there is going to be a significant intertwining of lives.

I do not LIKE to see the taking of ANY KIND of medication stigmatized. I think that a lot of people forego care that could make a big difference in their quality of life, because they fear being judged for it. Or people forego medication or other treatment strategies because they fear it will have negative impact on their sexual performance, or that they will be misperceived because of a medication strategy.
However, this thread is about pet peeves so you are certainly entitled to have and air them. And others are free to disagree


I think most women want a
REAL MAN.

I share that thought. And IMO/IME, a "real man" is neither an ass-slapper OR an ass-kisser.

I got an email that said-in its' entirety!"You don't scare me."
I didn't respond. I mean how DO you respond to something like that. If I had seen any indication that meting was in the realm of logistical possibility and felt like we'd have enjoyed meeting, I suppose I would have come up with a response...


I just realized from this post men can be as "****y" as women and men really like gossip!


Yes, it's a contagious disorder, we catch it from women.

I'm going to have to make the observation that REAL MEN do NOT catch "b*tchy" from women.

Hammertown, I'm sorry to hear that your fiancee passed, and I also wish you the best of luck in this new contact.


LOL, as you often do with what i or any other man who doesn;t go along with your thinking do.

Oh,so are you following my forum posts now, are you?
Interesting.


Animal Planet. LOL

Oh, Mr. Faire, it CAN get rather... well zoological in here from time to time.

I see the OP finally left the building...
Cindy O
 traveltrekker
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 180
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/15/2014 2:59:20 PM

3. Whats up with photos of lakes, mountains, flowers, the ocean, canyons, dogs, cats, fish LOL.


Here's another one to add to your list:

Photos of dead celebrities in their prime.

Just came across a profile, the only photo is Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra, with About Me section stating she wants to be spoiled and treated like a queen.

As the Soup Nazi would say...."NEXT!"
 SavoyFaire
Joined: 1/14/2011
Msg: 181
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/15/2014 4:52:17 PM
Oh my, this one had me in tears laughing with the "SUP." I had to read it a few times because in the beginning, I was pronouncing it as "SOUP." Show how much I know.

I have received countless email with following EXACT term: HEY THERE :)

Does anyone know how to introduce themselves and say "Hello," how are you, how was your day, etc...????
 tremtgolden456
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 182
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/15/2014 6:16:42 PM

Does anyone know how to introduce themselves and say "Hello," how are you, how was your day, etc...????


Sadly, no. I've tried exactly what you've said, and because I don't look like: Brad Pitt/Johnny Depp, Have six pack abs, etc......I don't get responses at all when using that verbage.

Then I LOL, When I read/see women complaining about how Men never talk to them in their intro messages.It's funny.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 183
view profile
History
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/15/2014 6:25:45 PM
Some have developed peeves because they while they say they are not Channing Tatum they email Kate Upton. If you look in your league, you will get a response with a simple hello.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 184
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/15/2014 8:14:59 PM
Asking someone "how was their day" is exasperating fluff to them.
One must remember the vast majority of us are still essentially internet strangers.

Stick with a friendly open-ended question specifically related to their profile.
All exchanges should be leading towards a live meeting because NOTHING IS REAL UNTIL YOU MEET.
 PlentyofThis123
Joined: 11/23/2013
Msg: 185
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 1:31:34 AM
Pet peeve, the Cat fish.....I think the one I'm talking to is feeding me a line of BS, she's local (within a few mins drive). Had been chatting on her for probably the beginning of this month or earlier than that. Says she's been enjoying our talks, says she wants to meet but has always been "out of town on business". One week she said she'd be out of town all week and we could get together on the weekend. Then the weekend rolls around says she's gotten caught up in household projects and hasn't the "energy" to do anything.

I figured we could meet in the middle, so I asked to talk on the phone, she would skirt that question, too. That's a HUGE indicator of a catfish if they won't BOTH meet OR talk on the phone.
 tremtgolden456
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 186
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 1:35:22 AM

Some have developed peeves because they while they say they are not Channing Tatum they email Kate Upton. If you look in your league, you will get a response with a simple hello.


That whole "Not in your/my league" stuff is BS. That places someone else above you, and you're not below anyone else. I've never understood the whole "s/he's out of my league" nonsense.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 187
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 8:31:40 AM
With no intention of discounting the catfish phenomena, or just general gameplayer flakes, let me offer another perspective.

This is no longer a world where women engage in time-filler activities while waiting to be picked for a pair-bond relationship. Many of them have CAREERS tha they genuinely enjoy. In some age groups they may still have children at home. Even if she is childless or an empty-nester, she may have a lot on her plate if she is single. Especially if she is a homeowner-and there are LOTS of single female homeowners.
And as far as the phone number thing, it is quite easy to get a LOT of personal information about someone with a landline phone # unless it is unlisted. I'm not sure if this is universally applicable, but quite often landline carriers charge extra for unlisted.
Not everyone can afford ( or keep track of) an extra "burn"/disposable cell phone for dating. There are still areas where cell phone signal is limited, as well. Yes there are strategies to protect one's phone number but not everyone has the knowledge to use them.

Besides, what would keep a woman who really wanted to cheat on a present relationship, from picking up a disposable/ultracheapie cell phone to communicate with contacts?

Again, not meaning to discount the gameplayers and "catfish" -but many single women are quite cautious about meeting in person or giving out information that could be used to obtain a physical location. And a man who pressures for this will be written off as (at best) insensitive, (at worst) a potential danger.

But by all means, please go on making generalizations.
Cindy O
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 188
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 8:51:18 AM

Then the weekend rolls around says she's gotten caught up in household projects and hasn't the "energy" to do anything.


I don't have a problem with this type of person. Why? Because I live by a simple principle, you either MAKE the time, or you are not really that interested, so I immediately write these people off.

So the stated above lady. I would stop communicating with her. Then when she ask what is going on, I would tell her not as pointing the finger at her but at my self and tell her.

"I am the type of guy that if I like someone, I make the time for them. Cleaning house can wait."
 DiezelPhoenix
Joined: 5/15/2013
Msg: 189
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 9:03:04 AM
Pet Peeve:

The women who have viewed my profile, clicked "Yes" on MeetMe, but then won't reply to an email.
I guess I misread your obvious signals to get me to talk to you. But congrats, you have an extra email in your inbox now.
 that_ol_lady
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 190
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 10:02:11 AM
I got another and am currently going through it rite now..

the guys who keep asking for more an more pics when they have maybe 1 or next to none an then continue to text an talk about how real they are an how good they are in the bedroom an what they will do to you..

yet as soon as you the woman try an set up a day to actually meet an see if they are as real as they claim to be suddenly they are either out with their cousin drinking,,or they don't know when their off day will be or they are locked out of their house an they will be staying with family for a few days. or they text back hours later after midnight asking if its to late.

i recently heard all of these yet they continue to go on about how they really want to see you...MMMM HMMM an then when you call them out on the bull s hit suddenly your the 1 playing games with them HA isn't that funny..

1 guy on here older then myself recently went on about how he wants to meet an that he has not had a girlfriend in 4 years ok well I left my number he still hasn't contacted me I waited a few days brought it up that your too old to be playing games I left my number he replies back I don't play games baby..i left it at that an he still anit contacted me..

I learned long ago the biggest s hit talkers talk the loudest an can never bag it up an if they try its usually bad an they fail so maybe its good I have not meet any of these loud bull s hiters..
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 191
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 10:20:51 AM
Stick with a friendly open-ended question specifically related to their profile.

I agree, but it's not always that simple, though. Most profiles, especially "nowadays", are pretty bare and generic. So having to pull a question specific to their profile will usually be the Same as most any other profile, and be pretty generic and "blah" just following that code. In other words, it will be nothing to "stimulate" anything, as their profile doesn't provide the ammo. BUT, it is a bit better than "Hey, what's up?" -- with no set-up to at return the volley.

That whole "Not in your/my league" stuff is BS. That places someone else above you, and you're not below anyone else. I've never understood the whole "s/he's out of my league" nonsense.

Umm, it's not nonsense, it's just common sense. I guess if one wants to protect their ego/esteem, they can pretend it doesn't exist - lol. Yes, there are women better looking than others. Objectively, clearly better looking than others. There are guys who are clearly, objectively better looking than you. Looks are pretty objective where subjectivity is just the modifier.

So "league" actually gives room where it's not claiming to be Exact. It varies, there's elbow room. It's not measuring Betty & Veronica and saying which one's hotter -- different guys will have different opinions and it will be a toss-up. Okay, both those gals in the Archie comics are in the 'same league'.

Put a real-life Betty & Veronia next to "Momma" from "Throw Momma From The Train". :) You want to tell me there's no such thing as leagues? Is it just "your taste" where it's purely random who a guy would find hotter -- Momma or Veronica? No.

Yes, people are "above" SOME others as far as looks go. Other generic stuff comes into play though, too, which may not be seen on the surface. Example...

"Man, Joey got some girl out of his league with that 24yo Darlene girl! Wow..."
"Yeah, but dude, she's got 5 kids and is bi-polar..."
"Oh, okay. Still good for Joey as far as a fling, but, alright, this makes sense -- she's not a great 'catch' as I assumed then"

Essentially, the level of catch you are to The General Public Around You -- where looks/style bears the most weight.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 192
view profile
History
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 10:21:07 AM
__________ (children, deity, pet) is/are my life. Count me out.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 193
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 10:26:00 AM

That whole "Not in your/my league" stuff is BS. That places someone else above you, and you're not below anyone else. I've never understood the whole "s/he's out of my league" nonsense.


Yeah, I don't get this either.
The only people I consider out of my league...are people I put there because they're not someone I'd be interested
in knowing. Otherwise, I figure I'm in anyone's league I want to be.

Of course, I could send a message to someone, and they could look at me and *snort* and decide I'm outta their
league...but I'm okei with that.

My biggest pet peeve in online dating are the people who say "I'm taking things slow, I'm not in a hurry, I'm not
looking to settle ". I don't think people say these things to people they are really interested in. Most people know
that a serious relationship takes time anyways...you don't have to say it. I think when people say it to you, they
aren't sure about you...and usually they aren't interested in trying...it's brush off meant to be kind I guess...but
IMO, they might as well hand me a note that says...yeah...no way jose.

Nobody says (or should say) shyte like that to someone they really like and want to pursue something with.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 194
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 10:52:23 AM

Dushbag

Your words, not mine Outmind.


Ouch. That hurts. LOL.

At least I am a happy dushbag. Chaga laga ding dong.

Where's the term Catfish comes from?
 Iteration77
Joined: 8/22/2013
Msg: 195
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 10:53:37 AM

Most people know that a serious relationship takes time anyways...you don't have to say it.


Do they? I mean, it seems like it's LOGICAL that people do know this but I have to say, this has not been my experience in the past year.

I've had several guys say "I love you" after a couple/few dates when I'm still trying to figure out if I want to go out with them again. I had a guy I thought was pretty cool after a first meet/date (felt more like a date than a meet) tell me the next day he wanted me to become involved with his children. The guy I've currently been seeing told me he moved in with his last GF after 1.5 months (which kind of explains a bit why I've felt like he was jumping in with both feet really quickly (too quickly for me) - it appears that is his MO).

I think there are a ton of people out there in a HUGE hurry for whatever reason. So I can kind of understand the 'not in a hurry' disclaimer.
 traveltrekker
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 196
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 10:54:54 AM

Again, not meaning to discount the gameplayers and "catfish" -but many single women are quite cautious about meeting in person or giving out information that could be used to obtain a physical location. And a man who pressures for this will be written off as (at best) insensitive, (at worst) a potential danger.

But by all means, please go on making generalizations.


Then why are they bothering with online dating sites at all?
Because everyone else is doing it?
Why not stick to the same old ways they have always done things and felt comfortable with?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 197
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 11:03:15 AM

I think there are a ton of people out there in a HUGE hurry for whatever reason. So I can kind of understand the 'not in a hurry' disclaimer.


I get that too.
But, I think (at least for me and most normal people I know) the way we handle ourselves on the first meet,
gives an indication of our interest. Even if I really liked someone, I wouldn't be all gushy and over the top...just
because I know that's not a good thing. So if someone says any of the crazy things I don't like, and I'm pretty
sure I've not done anything to give them an impression of being in a hurry or showing too much interest, I'm
outta there. If you have to tell someone you're not in a hurry and they need to slow down, you're driving down
two different roads anyways. Relationships should be a natural progression.

At least IMO...saying anything about hurrying or settling is a turn off to me and I'm already planning my exit.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 198
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 11:38:51 AM
I tried to think of things specific to online dating that aren't typical in IRL dating.

Don't like pics with multiple women around the same age in them, sometime you don't know who the profile is supposed to be about, at least say I am in the middle.

Advanced search engines that aren't very advanced. Meaning if I search for someone age 47-67, but they have a restriction in their profile of no older than 50, why do those show up in my search?

Matching algorithms that presume to know what is right for a person and don't allow matches that would actually work.

Trite phases bother me a little, such as young at heart, must be honest. ?? What liars will be discouraged by this?

People who you email with then disappear without any warning.

Not really a peeve of mine, but IMO one of the biggest problem with online dating is a lack of trust. People right away assume the worst possible scenario from any perceived missteps. Like a popular one, having a profile up after you meet someone, this wouldn't bother me if someone did that.

As far as being in a rush to commit, I read on the forum that men do this more often, but not my reaction. I often take a long time to feel like I am committed to a relationship. IMO my noncommittal attitude comes through and the woman is the first to bring up commitment. But I doubt this is particular to online dating.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 199
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 1:43:23 PM

@ Outmind
Now your being just a bit arrogant (surprise) with your snide remarks directed at me.




Dushbag

Your words, not mine Outmind.


Ouch. That hurts. LOL.

At least I am a happy dushbag. Chaga laga ding dong.

Where's the term Catfish comes from?



What's snide about the above statement. If anything you are the one doing the "Your words, not mine."
So relax.

The catfish was a pet peeve that has been posted, and really, I don't now what it means. And it was simply posted as a question. So breathe deep and relax.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 200
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 1:43:31 PM

I emailed a woman who put me on her favorite list ... and NO reply ...


I tried e-mailing a woman who put me on her favorite list, but when I tried, she had blocked me. I don't know her and never saw her her profile previously, but for some reason, she felt the need to block me before I could send a reply.
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