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 AUTHOR
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 201
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating Page 9 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

Just because a person is better looking or wealthier, doesn't necessarily make them a BETTER person

Makes them a better catch, all other things being roughly equal. And here's the key -- not a better catch For You -- but a better Catch overall. Very key difference.

If they are a better Catch overall, but you personally think they're not to your own personal tastes, and instead merely above average -- you'll still have a slimmer chance with him than any regular guy who's (merely) above average.

When you don't know a person really, how good they look & financial status means a lot -- there isn't too much else (besides vague assumptions & weeding out the bad) on anything else. UNTIL you start to get to know them. But what makes you even start to get to know them? How good of a catch (league-level) they're in.

You're not going to want to start anything up with a guy who's ugly & poor, even if he seems that he May have a nice personality.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 202
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 3:17:08 PM
There is definitely leagues...and if you don't want to think so that's AOK but there is looks leagues, body type leagues, education leagues and clearly age leagues. If I spent all my time sending emails to women 14 years younger than me I can tell you right now I won't have much success. Then after sending out 100 emails to women in their early 40s I can come in her a say POF sucks because me at 55 can't score any responses from lil miss 41 year old...but on the flip side if I sent the same email to 100 women in late 60s my email box would be stuffed with replys.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 203
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 4:39:45 PM

DiezelPhoenix wrote:

The women who have viewed my profile, clicked "Yes" on MeetMe, but then won't reply to an email.
I guess I misread your obvious signals to get me to talk to you. But congrats, you have an extra email in your inbox now.


I get that all the time. They are just a bunch of "attention-hores" trying to collect as many messages as they can so they can have something to boast about to their friends.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 204
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 8:45:43 PM
TuMuchFun makes a valid point, there are definite leagues. This does not mean a particular "league" is better than another "league." For example, although I am attracted to men who are athletic to average body type, if a man is overly athletic, extremely health conscious (ie. drinking 6 raw eggs a day like Rocky), who does yoga all the time, to me this is out of my "body type league." It's not right or wrong, it just is. The same goes for "education leagues." Although I consider myself an intelligent woman, if a man who has several degrees and let's say he is a chemist, and all he enjoys talking about is pharmaceutical stuff and chemical processes, he is out of my "education league." I generally don't think in terms of "leagues" per se as I look at it as personal preference but I do think they exist.
 TOaks91360
Joined: 11/22/2013
Msg: 205
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 8:52:46 PM
The leagues I see are economical. The women with resources at my age will never date down financially, at least online.

That's fine as I live by the motto 'I only expect what I offer'

If you're 'athletic and toned' ? Good for you and you should expect the same.

If you own a home and don't want to date a 'renter', that's fine too.

However...if you own a home and your mortgage is partly covered by alimony? Hmm...Yeah, enjoy your entitled view looking down..
 EricTheBrave
Joined: 12/31/2013
Msg: 206
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 8:58:35 PM

Although I consider myself an intelligent woman, if a man who has several degrees and let's say he is a chemist, and all he enjoys talking about is pharmaceutical stuff and chemical processes, he is out of my "education league."


Seems to me this isn't an issue of education levels. Instead, he's not in the same "social skill" league as you. Several degrees - a chemist - he should still be able to find interest in subjects that interest you. His bunsen burner ain't never gonna light your fire.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 207
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 9:20:26 PM
^^^^Note, I was just making up an example albeit possibly a weak one. And I can go with your "social skill" league.
In essence, it's still defined as a league.



His bunsen burner ain't never gonna light your fire


^^^ you are probably right :)

====
And without a doubt, there are "economical leagues." How one defines each league will vary.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 208
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 9:34:03 PM
Another crucial consideration is the "Dong League" aspect.
For example, the vast majority of women prefer their man to be in a certain range for consideration.
Well, you can bet your bottom dollar I am not cutting-off several inches just to join the ranks of some league!
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 209
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 9:38:50 PM

you can bet your bottom dollar I am not cutting-off several inches just to join the ranks of some league!


OMG!!!! ERIC!!! That was classic!!! Thank you.....I nearly fell out of my chair laughing......Reminds of Long Duck Dong from Sixteen Candles....."No more yankie, my wankie, the Donger needs food!"

Ahhhhhh. memories!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL :P
 PlentyofThis123
Joined: 11/23/2013
Msg: 210
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 2:15:45 AM

Again, not meaning to discount the gameplayers and "catfish" -but many single women are quite cautious about meeting in person or giving out information that could be used to obtain a physical location. And a man who pressures for this will be written off as (at best) insensitive, (at worst) a potential danger.


I don't blame them for being cautious, but just like with anything, one can be overly cautious....where in that case, online dating may not be the venue for them.

Well, cell phones , as far as I know cannot be traceable as a land line, and plus most people are starting to do away with their land lines and going completely mobile.

Also, I could offer up my phone number, done that before, too, because she has the option to block her incoming phone # ID.

Anyhow, if this goes on for TOO long, and they start to skirt the idea of even meeting but plan on being just "pen pal" buddies. Then I move on

If a woman feels pressured for being asked to talk on the phone or meeting in person, then perhaps ONLINE dating may not be for her.

So often I've started seeing women complain about MEN doing the same thing, (the pen pal thing), to them. I have no problem contacting them, in fact I bring it up in my introductory email as one of my ice breakers. lol
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 211
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 5:59:30 AM
Restrictions, road blocks, and walls.

If you seriously look and think about of all it, I'm actually surprised anyone contacts anyone here, let alone meet and have a "date".

I want, want, want. BUT, not this,this, this, or even, this.

After all that, is there anything left?

Not likely.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 212
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 6:20:27 AM
^^^

Posted by Walts:
"After all that, is there anything left?

Well, there is always the whiskey. :-)
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 213
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 7:02:16 AM
^^ well, the whiskey appears to be working for Walts... if he's on course for moving forward with a great gal :)
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 214
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 8:17:23 AM
Walts,

Don't let the BS color your view of what people are saying versus what they are doing.

There is plenty left, and there are great people on POF and in the world in general.

I went on a date yesterday with a great guy who participates in things I find undesirable (front man of a band, former substance abuser, works out all the time), but I'm gonna look over that stuff for the good stuff (Investment consultant as primary profession, prefers Latina/black/mixed race and has had LTRs with them, prefers curvy, lives in an expensive neighborhood, has a public gym at home, would financially contribute to my project and get me other sponsors, etc) I have no idea why someone like him (who probably does not have an ounce of fat in his body) would be interested in someone like me but I'm gonna let it rock, lol.

We discussed all the stuff people aren't supposed to discuss on a first date: a short story of the ex (his, not mine), politics, religion, what we do for a living and what we envision for the future, our business plans (I've never told anyone about the project I've been working on), 9/11, food allergies, owning property, etc.

Let's see what happens.....
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 215
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 8:39:29 AM

has a public gym at home


Ohh no. Stay away from those guys with public gyms at home. LOL.
 forumfella
Joined: 10/18/2013
Msg: 216
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 8:51:22 AM
Meh, nobody wants a sponge or a deadbeat...of either gender
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 217
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 9:22:52 AM
^^^^^
Aanarchist, there is nothing sexier than a man with possibilities, lol.

I'm not about struggling. I didn't spend my whole life in school (and going back soon), and working hard, to settle for someone I'm going to struggle with. I'm looking to grow and have lots of plans and businesses I've done letters of intent for and grant writing.

I like a life of comfort, where I don't have worry about how bills will be paid at the end of the month. That's how I live now (on my own) and how I'd like to continue living if I enter another relationship. I'm not looking for a roommate with bedroom benefits, I'd rather stay single. There are habits that are hard to break and I've never been with someone who didn't have a bright future to mesh with mine.

Outmind,

Lol, I'm gonna find out about that soon.

Forumfella,

Exactly
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 218
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 10:01:02 AM

Another crucial consideration is the "Dong League" aspect.
Well, you can bet your bottom dollar I am not cutting-off several inches just to join the ranks of some league!


Reminds me of the ole stuttering joke...

Or the water is cold...
And I reply...deep too
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 219
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 12:00:15 PM

This does not mean a particular "league" is better than another "league." For example, although I am attracted to men who are athletic to average body type, if a man is overly athletic, extremely health conscious (ie. drinking 6 raw eggs a day like Rocky), who does yoga all the time, to me this is out of my "body type league."

I wouldn't put too much emphasis on "different leagues" much. Body type is a part of looks, too though. I think a gym-rat or yoga-nut would be more of a sub-cultural demographic where particular attributes about the looks plays a bigger role than with the general population -- but also a lot is the shared culture/type itself, too.

A "league level" is basically stock-price of how wanted you are out there. I think the "different leagues" are just different demographics when an emphasis on a style or attribute level more than others. Yes, within certain age groups one's stock-value will be higher or lower. Within the hipster sub-culture it will be higher or lower. Within gym-rat culture it will be higher or lower. Within the Activia-loving-veggie-eating-modern-day-semi-hippie sub-culture it will be higher or lower. Etc. :)

But one's stock-value isn't going to be isolated to one group. You're not going to get an ugly guy getting babes in the academia sub-culture just because he's in academia and he fits that arena well. He will do better, pound for pound, in that sub-culture VS other arena, sure. And to succeed in that arena -- you will need to have your academia attributes higher than the average Joe's -- so that attribute bears more weight. Think about it as one being a baseball card. You have different stats -- for some who are staunchly set in a sub-culture, they're going to put a lot of emphasis on a particular stat (say, stolen bases) -- but that doesn't mean they don't give a heck about batting average of course. :) You can have a lower batting average, but in that arena, your stolen bases will make up for it -- where with others, not so much.

BUT, you still have an overall stock value. Everyone's not placed in a sub-culture so much. I think there's a difference between "type" and "stock value". So "league" can be used in a pretty different context to mean type instead of overall value (which will vary to some degree among different types/sub-cultures).

If you get a decent looking guy who say, travels to the Middle East for work or semi-vacation, some riot-battle breaks out by terrorists, and he saves an American family and goes back to rescue their adorable kitten there, too, and in this wild adventure saves the day for them, and he was lucky to have the press see it all and capture it and it's all over the news everywhere in glory -- his stock price just shot up. Big time. With every demographic, to one degree or another. In fact, while his 30 days of fame is still riding high, girls will nudge a Hot guy out of the way if there's a decent chance with him.

Popularity (or fame if/when there is any) is another attribute that can play a big role like looks always does.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 220
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 1:25:19 PM

Lol, I'm gonna find out about that soon.


Have an awesome time. And if it doesn't work out, you can always try crossfit.
 DiezelPhoenix
Joined: 5/15/2013
Msg: 221
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 1:31:37 PM

Investment consultant as primary profession...lives in an expensive neighborhood...would financially contribute to my project and get me other sponsors, etc...


Huh!?
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 222
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 2:07:31 PM
Outmind,

Oh no! Not crossfit! Lol

I'd have to finish the 65 classes I signed up for kickboxing first (when my 4th job ends, at the end of this month). I also signed up for ballroom dancing lessons for 3 months. If I meet my goal of losing 50 pounds, I'll give crossfit a try. Right now, crossfit would nearly kill me.

Wolves,

I have and I make money, why wouldn't I be interested in someone with whom I can grow? Gold diggers usually don't have anything but their ambition to acquire something without earning it.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 223
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 3:43:53 PM
My biggest pet peeve is people who post pics of their pets.......... Am I to be dating a dog?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 224
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 4:04:16 PM
I have a soft spot for animals, so pictures of someone's pet doesn't bother me (unless it's a pet boa constrictor or tarantula). In fact, I like seeing pictures of people's pet(s). What I don't have a soft spot for is a picture of 6 or 7 drunk women at a bar, and I have to guess who is the one with the profile I'm looking at.

Another thing I don't like seeing is pictures of someone's tattoo(s). I find tats idiotic (my personal taste) and wouldn't date someone who is inked, so I have no desire to look at close-ups of tats.
 PlentyofThis123
Joined: 11/23/2013
Msg: 225
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/17/2014 4:11:49 PM
Another pet peeve....see a profile where in the description it says, "Will fill in later" and a week goes by, and it still isn't filled in.

Or, "I'm not much for writing about myself, so feel free to ask me anything!"
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