Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 45
Girl wants to meet me with 2 of her friends on the first date, feeling didn't about it?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I give my support to messages 32,35 and especially 38.

I've had many occasions of meeting an online contact within some sort of group or public activity, entertainment event, friends music gig...

I realize that this proposed "double date" isn't EXACTLY the same as the things I mentioned, but I don't see what the problem is. If the girl is very new to meeting online contacts, being with friends who've actually succeeded may increase her comfort level.
Cindy O
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Girl wants to meet me with 2 of her friends on the first date, feeling didn't about it?
Posted: 1/18/2014 3:38:00 PM
Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with it, but I get why you're iffy about it. I am quite comfortable and relaxed about meeting new people, heck even crashed a party or two.....no really, but hey that's just me. I think it could be really distracting for most people, but it really is about what she's comfortable with.

Go meet, you're not obligated to spend the whole evening there. I do think you should mention to her why you're iffy about it and maybe she'll tell you why she wants to bring her friends along. I assume she's an adult, so if she always go everywhere with her girl posse that may indicate she could be a little immature.
 IL_Capitano
Joined: 11/23/2012
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Girl wants to meet me with 2 of her friends on the first date, feeling didn't about it?
Posted: 1/18/2014 5:59:56 PM
I wouldn't do it, but you might as well get it over with.

Women most often make relationship decisions by committee anyway. This one is just cutting right to it on the first date so they can all discuss you afterwards and decide if you would be a good match for her.

It'll happen anyway, so sooner is better than later, really.

 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Girl wants to meet me with 2 of her friends on the first date, feeling didn't about it?
Posted: 1/18/2014 6:39:26 PM
these kind of 'group date' scenarios have always struck me as rather juvenile, but then again, the op IS a teenager. if it's me, i'm weighing my other prospects of the moment. if this woman looks like the best of the lot, i'm more likely to say yes than if she's in the middle of the pack.

as others have mentioned, op, watch out for money shenanigans. stories abound of these scenarios where the woman breezily assumed the financial customs of chivalry would extend to her whole platoon. if you don't want to foot the whole check and you get attitude for it, write her off on the spot.
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 49
Girl wants to meet me with 2 of her friends on the first date, feeling iffy about it?
Posted: 1/18/2014 7:02:47 PM
It was a joke...Chill!


I wasn't upset. LOL. I thought that maybe you were unfamiliar with that term. No big deal.


Speaking from personal experience, I have found one-to-one meets more stressful, but everyone is different.


To each their own. But IMO it is usually the opposite. If a man is somewhat nervous or introverted around strangers and/or on first dates / meetings. I don't think a woman bringing 2 friends ( that are total strangers to him ) will make him feel more comfortable.
 CrispyNoodles
Joined: 8/31/2013
Msg: 50
Girl wants to meet me with 2 of her friends on the first date, feeling iffy about it?
Posted: 1/18/2014 8:56:37 PM
I wouldn't do it.

Firstly, it is rather childish. If she is not comfortable meeting a stranger, then she shouldn't be on an online dating site. Meeting at a public place is usually sufficient.

Secondly, they all know each other. You know none of them. It is a bit disconcerting to try to meet someone, and have to also meet two other people who may have different dynamics, and try to impress them, while trying to focus on the person who you would hopefully like to impress, if that makes any sense. I would feel a bit like I'm at a job interview in front of a panel.

Thirdly, I think it's a bit odd to be immediately infused into the life of someone I don't know, by immediately meeting their friends, at a point where I don't know whether I want to be involved at all.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 51
view profile
History
Girl wants to meet me with 2 of her friends on the first date, feeling iffy about it?
Posted: 1/19/2014 8:09:52 AM
The fact that she purposely disclosed that both of their friends she is bringing along are in a relationships (or so she claims) shows she has tried this before and it failed.

It failed because she brought along one or two of her friends that were single and the guy they decided to meet up spent most of the time hitting on her single friend and not her.

Theoretically she wants to be the center of attention, have a support group right there, and even bail on you if you she doesn't like you to spend time with her friends. And they will judge you based on a peer to peer discussion once you are gone if you are worthy of her time.

Yeah pass.
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 52
view profile
History
Girl wants to meet me with 2 of her friends on the first date, feeling iffy about it?
Posted: 1/19/2014 9:40:53 AM
Seems like a teenage high school deal. I think you're gut is right on... "iffy" is a good description. If she's not mature enough to deal with a first meet, then when will she be grownup enough? I certainly wouldn't want someone bringing their friends to meet me either.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 54
view profile
History
Girl wants to meet me with 2 of her friends on the first date, feeling didn't about it?
Posted: 1/20/2014 3:56:17 AM
A group date can be fun as hell. Not at my age on a first meet, but you will see how she is around others as well.
Also if you want to leave early, she has companions.

How much do you want to meet her?
Maybe she wants to see how well you play with others AND feel safe.
As long as you aren't footing the whole bill..Take a chance.
Whats the worst that can happen?

You dont know what types of men or positions she has been out into.
Y'all are very young. Don't see the problem
Don't most of us IRL meet people with other people around?

She may not want to be pawed on a first meet and just see if you are fun/have chemistry before being alone with you.
You can still talk.
Now if she wants to go on a second date with others, NO.

Maybe suggest you meet "them" for a drink and appetizer at wings and things instead of a longer DATE, if she is attracted to you, she wont ignore you.

Don't look for red flags when there is nothing weird about a group date, esp at your age.

A meet does not obligate you for hours.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 55
Girl wants to meet me with 2 of her friends on the first date, feeling didn't about it?
Posted: 1/20/2014 6:27:18 AM

A group date can be fun as hell...Also if you want to leave early, she has companions.


But what happens if SHE doesn't feel the instant chemistry and immediate sparks and wants to leave early. What guy would want to be told "I don't feel any sparks, so my posse and I are leaving" in front of her friends? Whether she has companions to hang out with after a meet is done is not the guy's responsibility.
 Nj2ut
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 56
Girl wants to meet me with 2 of her friends on the first date, feeling didn't about it?
Posted: 1/20/2014 6:52:34 AM
Once you're out of high school a group date as a first date is weird. It's as weird as a 19 year old still asking his dad for money to take a woman out.

I'm ok with doing the double date thing or hanging out with her friends after 3 - 4 dates. At least the first two dates should be focused on the two people going on the date.

Plus what if both of them like sushi so the guy plans the first date at a new sushi place both of them mentioned trying out. She then decides to invite her friend who doesn't like sushi on the date. Is he then suppose to change their date to accommodate the friend that he isn't there to date? Or does the friend sit at the restaurant just sipping a diet coke all night?
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >