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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > When should a mature lady become more proactive?      Home login  
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 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 121
When should a mature lady become more proactive? Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
If we ever decide to switch teams
You know where I am
You have a lovely B Day :/
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 122
When should a mature lady become more proactive?
Posted: 2/13/2014 7:22:05 PM
Switching teams Ouija?

The thought did occur to me as I bought 2 single red roses today.
One for me and one for my female friend who is newly single following the text breakup.
Instead I burst into tears for both of us.

All well. There may be some tears tonight.

Do however have a date on Sunday for lunch with another man from the internet who meets all of my criteria except:
He has children - who always come first so he rarely has time to go out.
Over the last 2 years we have managed to meet up about 6 times.
No hanky panky just a charming man.

He wished me Happy Valentines Day so I suggested we get together and Sunday lunch.
His kids are with their mum this weekend. A rare occurrence. Our last 3 meetings have been Monday and Tuesday nights.

There are worse things in life than to have lunch with a charming man.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 123
When should a mature lady become more proactive?
Posted: 2/14/2014 7:44:21 PM
Had a wonderful time at the concert. Much more laughter than tears.
The rain held off.
doria... you probably heard us.
Standing ovations and the entire audience on our feet dancing.
2 proposal of marriage - on stage - both accepted.

Tomorrow lunch.
He is 56.
His youngest is 15.
He has them every weekend.
Most school holidays and occasionally during the week.
Drives them to sport, work, volunteering etc
Met 6 times and no hanky panky is not unusual at all.
At least not for me. And yes I pay my half.
He also often has to work nights and travel.
Hence very little time to date.
Certainly not relationship material as he is never around.

Am looking forward to lunch with a charming man.
There are never copy / cloning machines around when needed. :)
 OneInAQuadrillion
Joined: 10/1/2017
Msg: 124
When should a mature lady become more proactive?
Posted: 11/11/2017 10:17:36 AM
When should a mature lady become more proactive?

Age 29 when her biological clock is ticking. After that men have too many younger options.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 125
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When should a mature lady become more proactive?
Posted: 11/13/2017 12:38:42 AM

How long do I wait for him to contact me?
In every other part of my life if I want something I go for it.
Love is entirely different.
I have learned the hard way that being enthusiastic and proactive is the kiss of death.

This is right after the 2nd date (or 1st 'therious' date). You guys were talking back n forth before the 1st date -- and between that and the 1st & 2nd. First, it's not love. They were fruitful dates -- which should put the pressure OFF of being exact on any timing. You can still be Over enthusiastic and Over proactive (texting non-stop) to kill the mood some, but I don't think just still going-with-the-flow as it is is anything to be afraid of and you shouldn't have to worry about Any fine lines in doing so IF the guy actually Likes you. Ya only worry about that when they're seemingly on-the-fence but you really like them and want to win them over. But if they can't handle your timing which would be just Fine when they dig ya, but "ehhh" if they're not all that into ya -- you should actually want to face a litmus test. :)

Anyway, you rolled with it for 6 dates... you kept in touch, had fruitful dates...

DOOMSAYERS .... YOU WERE RIGHT.

Sucks it didn't go your way after 5 dates after the intro-date, some pretty heavy dates. But at the same time, he added weight to them, so I have to disagree with this suggestion of yours:

I do wonder however if I overawed him as has happened in the past.

I don't think that's it. :) The dates had some weight to them -- picnic with wine, sailing -- lots of hours on them, etc. But I think this was a bigger factor:

Met 6 times and no hanky panky is not unusual at all.
At least not for me. And yes I pay my half.

Paying your half is a bit unusual. A Good thing, but far from Expected by guys. And 6 dates -- many of them strong like picnics and out sailing for hours -- no fooling around? Yeah, a lot of guys are going to walk. :) There's a difference between not "putting out" on the 1st/2nd/3rd date VS not fooling around at all by the end of the 6th date when the dates have been heavily fruitful otherwise.

Much of the time it's not about having intercourse by "date 6". It's more like at least having things Progress a bit more and more as the time unwinds and the dates add up. If I'm on date #4 and all I'm getting is a couple small kisses during the long dates and a decent goodnight kiss at the end of it, just like the 1st -- my interest starts to fade. If I otherwise really like the gal, I'll give it another shot or two (as did he), but I'm going to want to see progression. Otherwise, fine, no fooling-around = I'm 100% single, and can be talking to other gals, going out on other dates -- and a good prospect's going to get my attention more at that point and I'm going to be even more apt to step aside from the previous one.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 126
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When should a mature lady become more proactive?
Posted: 11/13/2017 2:27:07 PM
Go for what you want.
If I meet one that *tips my toes* I'll def let him know.

Men-people are tired it seems to me or have grown so used to being alone and they don't think IT can happen for them ( most) by 65 and from what I have seen IRL lately they just love for the woman to go after them for a change.My older gal pals have shown me the light.

You do it before some ditch witch goes after him and makes him feel wanted.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 127
When should a mature lady become more proactive?
Posted: 11/13/2017 2:31:15 PM
"I have learned the hard way that being enthusiastic and proactive is the kiss of death."



I don't know where you learned that but I recently lost interest in someone I met on here because they were too reserved ( never flirted, never suggested meeting up ).

I like a woman who reciprocates and makes it clear she wants me to jump her bones ASAP
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 128
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When should a mature lady become more proactive?
Posted: 11/13/2017 3:06:31 PM

being enthusiastic and proactive is the kiss of death.


Only if you are enthusiastic and proactive with the wrong people.


us more mature people.


I take it that meant mature, age-wise, rather than mature thinking.
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