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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Lack of responses and interests, what am I do wrong? Profile, e-mail,      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 austin8322
Joined: 5/16/2013
Msg: 22
Lack of responses and interests, what am I do wrong? Profile, e-mail, both?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

Your main photo is too dark to see your face. You look like you are grimacing in all of your photos.

You have 8 seconds to make a good impression. Women will see your main photo as a tiny pic the size of a saltine cracker on their cell phone screens. If your main photo is not clear, bright and attractive, they move on. A genuine smile is inviting, warm and attractive. Women want to see your eyes and smile.

Please get new photos taken outdoors for better lighting, and with a quality digital camera, not a fuzzy cell phone. Your main photo should be a head-and-shoulder shot, showing you SMILING and looking at the camera. You also need one full body shot, again taken outdoors and smiling.

Other pictures should show you outdoors, doing activities you enjoy. No hats, sunglasses, alcohol or stupid poses. You must be in every picture. Ask a friend to take 24 pictures of you outdoors with a digital camera, wearing different clothes in various locations. Upload the best 8. Caption and date each photo-giving the location and year- to make the photos more interesting and clear.


LiterateHiker I really appreciate the feedback and will put some of those suggestions into action. Unfortunate the one can not is the smile recommendation. That grimace you notice, that is my smile. I have never had a natural looking smile but in all of those pictures I was truly happy and trying to smile. Even when I'm not trying, when someone just takes a picture of me laughing or "smiling" it still comes off as a grimace. Unfortunately I just don't have a great smile. All of your other recommendations though are great!
 austin8322
Joined: 5/16/2013
Msg: 23
Lack of responses and interests, what am I do wrong? Profile, e-mail, both?
Posted: 2/13/2014 7:47:55 PM
Thank you for the feedback Irish Eyes, but still no one has told me what I'm supposed to put in place of that. What is my introduction supposed to look like in an e-mail? You say I'm doing it wrong but don't tell me exactly how to do it right. Are you saying I should just put "Hi, I'm Austin, how are you? I enjoyed reading your profile." and that's it as an introduction?
 austin8322
Joined: 5/16/2013
Msg: 24
Lack of responses and interests, what am I do wrong? Profile, e-mail, both?
Posted: 2/14/2014 4:02:08 AM
Campfires I did see your examples, thank you for posting them. So it just looks like you just skip any kind of intro all together. That seems so weird and even a little rude but what I'm doing obviously isn't working so I did e-mail 2 other people after my last post and used your format. We'll see how it goes.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 25
Lack of responses and interests, what am I do wrong? Profile, e-mail, both?
Posted: 2/14/2014 4:16:56 AM
The intro is your profile. Studies have shown that most people will read your profile before reading the message. So you've effectively already introduced yourself.

You'll likely have to send a whole lot more than 2 messages. If you get a 10% response rate on here then you're doing VERY well.

I would get rid of the "mom doesn't like long flights" from your profile - makes you sound a bit Norman Bates. The rest is pretty decent so with this new message format you should be good to go.
 rainbowcolors
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 26
Lack of responses and interests, what am I do wrong? Profile, e-mail, both?
Posted: 2/14/2014 10:40:15 AM
What are you doing wrong? You're expecting younger women to be attracted to you while not giving women who are older than you the same courtesy. I call this hipocrisy. Furthermore younger women will be getting messaged by younger men (including some who are toned and hot) which you're in competition with.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 27
Lack of responses and interests, what am I do wrong? Profile, e-mail, both?
Posted: 2/14/2014 11:51:45 AM
You seem to be having a lot of trouble taking suggestions.
You aren't implementing the excellent advice you've been given. Is it overwhelming?
Read each post again and take what's useful. This thread is 30+ posts and the only change I see is in the e mail restrictions.
Other people cannot write your profile or messages--that's up to you.
A woman will not read a long, boring profile. She will move on to somebody who is interesting without being long winded.
I am sorry, but the grimace smiles look like you are in pain. Can you get some different pics up where you look happy? Perhaps closed mouth smiles?

My suggestions:

Fill out the interest list!!
Be concise, don't use filler sentences, and make every word count. You don't fill out a HR form with useless information--use that experience here.
You need to use more paragraphing.
Don't thank her for reading.
Don't repeat that you work in human resources.
Don't repeat your age.
Don't repeat where you live.

I have a pretty big variety of interests that definitely keep me busy!
Just get to the meat...this isn't an essay.

I have been to pretty much every part of the Southeast, a lot of the West Coast (San Francisco, Seattle, LA, Orange County, Vegas), some of the Northeast (DC and Baltimore area), and a fair part of the Midwest. Sadly I have not been overseas as of yet (mom does not like long flights, so needless to say we didn't go growing up, lol)
So all your travel experience was as a kid and you've never been on a plane b/c of your mom? You are a grown up now, right? Suffice to say that you did a lot of traveling across the U.S. growing up and it made you want to see foreign countries, too.
A bucket list of countries you want to see is long, boring, and unnecessary. Do you have anything planned? Do you have a passport? Is something holding you back from traveling now?


Besides traveling, I really enjoy watching sports, my favorites sports to watch are football (college and NFL), basketball (college and occasionally NBA but not much), tennis, and auto racing (NASCAR, IndyCar, Formula One, any of them, what guy doesn't love watching fast cars?). For the NFL I am a huge New Orleans Saints fan and for college a huge UofL Cardinals fan. In terms of playing sports I love playing tennis and play usually at least 2 times a week. I also enjoy playing basketball occasionally but that's definitely just for casual fun. I also love pretty much any type of outdoor activity, going to the beach, going to movies, dining out (especially cajun/creole food, Japanese food and seafood in general), pretty much anything. There aren't many activities I wouldn't be up for trying once.
Boring!!!
Sports stuff belongs in interests. Expand on one sports interest, not every single one. You are putting her to sleep if she even gets this far.
Put the other activities in separate paragraphs. A paragraph doesn't need intro, body, closing here. Too much fluff again.

I really don't have a lot of specific qualities I look for in a woman, I think finding a woman who is similar to me but also different would be a great thing. In general though I would like to find a woman who is open minded, wants to try new things, enjoys traveling, likes to stay active but can also enjoy a nice day at home just relaxing or having a movie marathon, and in general is just down to earth and wants to have fun. I look forward to hearing from you and getting to know you better! :)
Too long, wishy washy, and should be 1-2 sentences. Don't contradict yourself.

Something casual that takes the pressure off both sides. Maybe doing an activity we both enjoy, going to an outdoor concert, or just going to a sports bar to relax and have a few drinks.
Take pressure off? Who is
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 28
Lack of responses and interests, what am I do wrong? Profile, e-mail, both?
Posted: 2/14/2014 12:11:57 PM

but still no one has told me what I'm supposed to put in place of that.


No one can tell you what to write, that will work every time. (Even sometimes.)
Women are so different and completely unique, just like everybody else.
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 29
Lack of responses and interests, what am I do wrong? Profile, e-mail, both?
Posted: 1/28/2015 1:38:34 PM


I would like to know what some of you all think.






So I'll try my best to find that sweet spot right in the middle. :)





I suggest refraining from using a few terms.....



Sweet spot in the middle. :)
Honey hole.
Squeeze box.

All innocuous really.
But some have been given alternative meanings
as defined in the "Urban Dictionary."
Good luck.
 austin8322
Joined: 5/16/2013
Msg: 30
Lack of responses and interests, what am I do wrong? Profile, e-mail, both?
Posted: 1/28/2015 8:02:21 PM
Ah got it thanks for bringing it back up. I didn't realize these threads were kept for so long, but as you can see it's almost been a year.
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 31
Lack of responses and interests, what am I do wrong? Profile, e-mail, both?
Posted: 1/28/2015 8:34:18 PM

I actually did not date for several years as I was really completely over the dating scene
To me, this seems like oversharing. The woman has not agreed to a cup of coffee and you are already discussing past relationships (or in your case, lack thereof).


if we go out to dinner and you complain that a $20 meal and a drink or two for each of us is not good enough for you
I think if you had spent those years IN the dating scene, you may have learned why this entire paragraph was a trainwreck. The philosophy behind it is sound. The phrasing, however, is cringe-worthy. Learn some tact. Placing a very specific price is never tactful, not when she does it and not when you do it.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 32
Lack of responses and interests, what am I do wrong? Profile, e-mail, both?
Posted: 1/28/2015 8:52:56 PM
If I were dating, I would send a MSG something like this to purple zebra.

Well, I am a male that reads richy rich comics and have a set of new model cars. Really close to what you are looking for.

BTW, I have a 3 date rule about paying off student loans.

Why a purple zebra?
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Lack of responses and interests, what am I do wrong? Profile, e-mail, both?