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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..      Home login  
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 that_ol_lady
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 26
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
O most def I have been there,,with talking to somebody who in my mind I already said ya that is somebody I would like to hook up with or if he doesn't say anything stupid before the end of the nite he may get "some" only to end up being completely turned off because they either did something dumb as hell or said something so unfiltered that I was like eww dude calm down never mind..

but I don't think it has been yet that we made it all the way to the room an I was like ekk never mind usually the guy in question has already blown his chances way before the words bedroom would have flowed out of my mouth..i call it the shoot urself in the foot syndrome some have, boy you was almost there till you shot urself in the foot before you even had a chance to get in the door..
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 27
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Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 2/26/2014 8:11:33 AM

That's why I look for generosity, people who are generous with the thing most people work hard for (money) are usually generous in all other aspects, or making up for bad performances. Either way, bills get paid. If bills get paid, that's money that stays in your pocket and less stress.


Belle, could you explain what this statement means? Especially the last sentence. Thanks in advance.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 28
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 2/26/2014 9:07:40 AM

Posted by OP:
"Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..."

Yoo-hoo! No peeking you naughty girl!
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 29
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 2/26/2014 10:50:41 AM

Belle, could you explain what this statement means? Especially the last sentence. Thanks in advance.


I shall explain, lol. *clearing throat*

You might want to read these first though:
http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_100/103_dating_girl.html
http://womenapproachyou.com/why-women-like-generous-men/

A man cannot guarantee sexual satisfaction (sticks can become dysfunctional, vaginas don't ever become dysfunctional), so I cannot set my eyes on that prize, you may find someone who is compatible in all other regards except that one. Since it cannot be guaranteed, I can't look for that, but I can look for the other traits that will make me feel like it really doesn't matter, because he values me, appreciates me, respects me, etc. My measure for that, is to find someone like myself in that regard, someone who knows they are on my mind because I'm always doing something for them.

For example;

In my last relationship, I always stocked his house with household necessities (q-tips, shower gel, deodorant, hand soap, dish washing soap, paper towels, toilet paper, tooth brushes every 3 months, etc), and then other little details like a bottle of his favorite cologne when he was running out, a kit from the Art of Shaving, black socks which were a rare find since he is a size 13, would get him a pair of Timberland boots every year, would get him packs of his favorite gum to chew while playing softball, etc. I observe, I see whats running low, what he would like, what he would appreciate, because I cared about him and loved him dearly. That is who I am, I've said it in more than one occasion, I usually pay for my friends, invite them out, so the courtesy is not just for the person I'm with, it's for anyone I happen to care about. Like, I just got a pair of false lashes in the mail as part of my kit from Ipsy, since I don't use false lashes, I posted it on facebook so I can send it or give it to someone who may want it. It's about the things you don't necessarily have to do, but you do it anyways, because generosity is not just money related, it's also in your acts.

I get tons of perfume samples, lotion, powders, mists, on occasion articles of clothing, etc, I give them away to my neighbor (who always gets my packages), my sister, my mom, and my friends. One of my co-workers was in a dire situation, with absolutely no money for herself or her mom, and nothing to eat. I slid $40 into her purse when she wasn't looking.

People who are generous with money, tend to be generous in other aspects. That's just my bottom line. Because I'm generous with money, things, time, etc, I'm generous in the bedroom, I prioritize their pleasure over my own, I'm always coming up with something, even little games. For example, saying "I read this thing in a book and I'd like to get a lot of practice, so I'm sorry darling, but you're gonna have to get a BJ every day this month, just so I can get enough practice". It's been my experience that people who are "loose" with money, have also been "loose" with their affection, care, appreciation, and respect, people who not only open the door for their SO, but open it for anyone behind them or in front of them if they can, etc.

So going back to those few lines you quoted, whether they are generous because that's their nature, or because they are making up for something (like not really being a good person, having made their money off of someone else's demise, because they are making more money that they can find a reason or something to spend it on, etc), the fact remains the same, money is being given/spent. Either reason for spending money still equates to spending money, and I like people who spend money, especially on me, lol. I'm not talking about tons of money, as far as I know, the more money people have or make, the more the tendency to be really cheap, almost miserly (like my grandma, lol).

Going back to that last sentence, the less money coming out of a woman's pocket, the less stress she endures, and the more the pleasure to invest it whatever she wants (a garden, planting her own ingredients, a new shoe collection, a sowing room, crafts, etc). Women have a ton of things they'd like to take up as a hobby, even making little tutorials on YouTube on any wide range of topics.

I've always said, you're making an initial investment into a possible future, and it is a very small fraction for what a man gets in return (at least from me, IMO).

Anyway, that's my explanation, but I'm sure the articles probably make a better case for it, than I do in my wording.
 that_ol_lady
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 30
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 2/27/2014 6:42:33 AM

m_church ...One of the oddest was an Ex who told me of one guy who after he finished, she asked him to play with her so she could also, and he told her she should go home and finish herself off...
Truly, after listening to some of the things women have told me, it's a wonder guys get laid at all...



see these kinds of things an stories pisses me off I cant stand a selfish lover..!!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 31
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 2/28/2014 5:15:00 AM

a selfish lover..!!



A true definition of an oxymoron on both sides of the fence.

 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 32
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 3/2/2014 3:49:42 AM
It's good to read of other women's experiences of peaking around 40, because I was wondering what the heck has been going on with me, lol.

So many women have told me about past lovers that were basically clueless... or selfish, or 10 second wonders... and so on... I've met lot's of women who hadn't had an orgasm and thought it was their fault... instead of the guy simply being useless...
Truly, after listening to some of the things women have told me, it's a wonder guys get laid at all...
Honestly, if all I had to go by were my first few experiences, I would never have had sex again.

I understand that women are responsible to make sure their needs get met too, but.. if pretty much all you have experienced are selfish and clueless lovers? You start to wonder if a good one is just a myth. Thank goodness I have experienced it now though, and I'll never settle for less again.
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 33
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 3/2/2014 4:38:58 PM
37 y/o. I meet a lot of firemen and officers where I volunteer, if not working side by side with. *cough* yeah.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 34
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 3/3/2014 1:55:20 PM
It is true for me....late thirties it began and it doesnt seem to be showing any signs of slowing down either.

For the ladies complaining about past lovers....I was in your shoes. My first couple of lovers were just terrible...and not having a frame of reference to compare...I honestly thought ALL women faked enjoying sex. Cause I just did not 'get it' (literally and figuritively). Then...a great combination occurred....I got the nads to talk about it and I had a partner who listened and showed me some stuff. Wowzers is all I can say ...and there is NO going back after that. LOL!!

It is true that you do have to take control of your own orgasms...talk about what you like/need and if your prospective partner shows signs of not being able/willing....then dont proceed to the bedroom with him. If you do proceed and you didnt enjoy it, the onus is on YOU to say something and either stop proceeding or take action to correct. Life really is all about the choices we make, every second of the day. Not to mention, the dis-service you do by allowing the dude to skip along afterwards thinking he did good, when he did not. All you are doing is passing that on to another poor woman. Take charge, be honest and have fun!! If you refuse to do that, you reap what you sow. Most men would want to know they are leaving women unsatisfied. I said MOST...I know there is a small percantage that doesnt care, but luckily they are the minority. (in my experience)
 that_ol_lady
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 35
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 3/3/2014 3:28:24 PM
@femaleconnection

I agree its up to the woman to tell the man or men upfront what they like an what they don't that's why when the lady is comfortable sexual activity should be talked about before the bedroom cause yes there are guys who don't give a rats ass if the woman cums or is half breathing jus as long as he busted an got off..

hate them types..HATEEEEEE.

an there are those who don't like to be told because they are the know it alls an it might bruise their ego if you say oh I like it better when you touch me here..

an then there are the good ones who enjoy to not only see a woman get off but take pride in it..YESS where are yal at?


your so right once you've had a few good lovers who are open passionate an freaky..it is a hells chance you would want to hookup with a terrible selfish lover even on a horny drunk nite,,hell there is no chance you want to..let alone go back to bad plain robotic sex..
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 36
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 3/4/2014 8:54:40 AM

You start to wonder if a good one is just a myth. Thank goodness I have experienced it now though, and I'll never settle for less again.


This is awesome. I'm happy for you Shakti.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 37
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Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 3/4/2014 6:39:12 PM
My new favorite thread...
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 38
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Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 3/5/2014 10:43:46 AM
WomanInProgress in msg 28:


the guy would say something I couldn't un-hear. This is why I would tell men it's not necessary to use words while being intimate - not because it's romantic but because I feared he'd talk himself right out the door.


Being a man, I have never made it to the bedroom and then turned down sex because of mere words. But I have made a note to myself, “Never go back there again!”
 RUTHIE691
Joined: 7/3/2013
Msg: 39
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Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 3/6/2014 11:55:38 AM
I will agree with you on this one lol Forumfella, I chuckled to myself wondering how on earth you got yourself out of this sticky situation - sorry no pun intended. I bet you deflated so quick it was not hard to explain.
 adraboy2000
Joined: 7/11/2014
Msg: 40
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Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 9/11/2014 5:20:00 PM
YES! I thought I was sexually active when I was younger and I was but as far as frequency and number of times that I like to go, its only increased the older I got. I used to be a one hitter quitter, I was guilty of that but now going just once seems like such a waste! It really does just get better
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 41
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 9/12/2014 9:56:28 AM
A vibrator is nothing like a man. I prefer to be slutty. (My standards are just fine)

^^^
This
Slut-shame me for it, I'll kick your ass. *grins*


So many women have told me about past lovers that were basically clueless... or selfish, or 10 second wonders... and so on... I've met lot's of women who hadn't had an orgasm and thought it was their fault... instead of the guy simply being useless...
^^
It is partly her fault. It takes two to tango, it takes two to communicate. No wonder the men are clueless, selfish or 10 second wonders............and the women blame them instead of taking accountability for their own part in the act.
Is it REALLY all the man's responsibility she has an orgasm? Like I said, two to tango.


One woman I was with, had an orgasm for the first time and I didn't know what was wrong with her at first... She said to me, "What the HELL was that?" after a little talking, it became clear she'd never had one before... thought an orgasm was the warm fuzzy feelings she'd been getting during sex.... She told me she hadn't realised she'd been having bad sex before! LOL
^^
I wouldn't call it bad sex but rather incomplete sex.

One of the oddest was an Ex who told me of one guy who after he finished, she asked him to play with her so she could also, and he told her she should go home and finish herself off...
^^
She should have finished herself off right there to a) teach him and b) show him what he's missing

Truly, after listening to some of the things women have told me, it's a wonder guys get laid at all...
^^
hear, hear
and yet no wonder we hear women **** and moan all the time *rolls eyes*


As for topic, my peak has never stopped since I first hit puberty. It's the partner that opens and closes the floodgates. No problems there.
 sun_and_cinnamon
Joined: 7/18/2014
Msg: 42
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 9/14/2014 6:56:53 PM
I guess I'll refer to the how to lower my sex drive thread now
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 43
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Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 9/15/2014 7:40:56 PM

men peek in their 20's ;)

Speak for yourself ;)
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 44
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 9/27/2014 4:59:56 AM

Mine kicked in when I turned 40, and I feel like what a teenage boy must feel like, lol. Thank Goodness for vibrators (and standards), otherwise I would turn into a slut, haha.



I like this response!

I didn't hit mine until 41 ( as in my thirties, I was busy raising young children, getting a divorce, and getting an education in my thirties, which put a strain on me), and I'm still reveling in it, hoping when I meet somebody worthy of my passions, I'll take it out in him and watch his expression!

And, it's okay to enjoy a piece of ass, every now and then. Why not. Some people in PoF have made it into a bizarre art form. I appreciate especially your view about standards; I wish more people would employ those in their interpersonal relationships.

Cheers.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 45
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 9/27/2014 6:57:53 AM

Women tend to peek after 30 but men peek in their 20's ;)

Who all are these people peeking at? They need to keep their curtains closed.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 46
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Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 9/27/2014 7:42:30 AM
Dang most men peak right after 3 AM but women after the age of 35 for sure but only after their morning coffee...no coffee no peak, just a mess all day.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 47
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 9/27/2014 7:48:46 AM

As for topic, my peak has never stopped since I first hit puberty. It's the partner that opens and closes the floodgates. No problems there.


I think this is the key.

Physically we all peek at some age, but most of the time we don't know it because we don't have a partner to peek with. When we find the right partner, then we think wow, I haven't reached my peek, this is awesome. But if we met that same partner at a younger age, it would have been even more intense.

Most of us don't have a good frame of reference to determine sexual peek over a lifetime. It does vary with health and individual temperament, but everyone peeks at some point.
 Vohaul
Joined: 2/20/2014
Msg: 48
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Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 10/5/2014 2:00:28 PM
I think it's a bit of a psych thing, and the age of peak for women is steadily lowering over time. I think my generation (around 37) is the last one to have a bit of a late peak, as I've noticed more women maturing into a genuine interest in sexuality (as opposed to almost pure attention-seeking... though there are still a good number of profiles geared toward getting fans on instagram) toward their mid to late 20s now. Less shaming, more positivity.

Although certainly there may be a physical component. I just about went through a second puberty after a life-threatening illness scrambled my hormones a bit. A couple of months being absolutely asexual and then "Oh god, I remember this from high school."
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 5/3/2014
Msg: 49
Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 10/6/2014 2:35:11 PM


Posted by OP:
"Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..."

Yoo-hoo! No peeking you naughty girl!


I thought I was the only one that caught that. It made me laugh :)




the guy would say something I couldn't un-hear. This is why I would tell men it's not necessary to use words while being intimate - not because it's romantic but because I feared he'd talk himself right out the door.


Being a man, I have never made it to the bedroom and then turned down sex because of mere words. But I have made a note to myself, “Never go back there again!”


I loved WIP's quote. It was perfect. Just like the things you can't unsee, I totally get what she means by the words you can't unhear.

and Ohenry, I hear you too :)



and to answer the OPs question, after 40 actually, not after 30.
 Paladin1649
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 50
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Guess you really do hit your sexual peek after 30..
Posted: 11/4/2014 6:44:08 PM
Wonderful comments, Karma.
Care to chat?

--K.O.
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